Fighting Fate
by hikarijade13
Summary: It's no secret that Juvia adores Gray. Unfortunately her over-the-top affection annoys the hell out of him and he brands her as the only girl he'll never date. With Gray busy chasing other girls, and the ghosts in Juvia's past coming back to haunt her, what will it take for these two to realise you just can't fight fate? AU
1. It Started With A Kiss Well, Kind of

_A/N: I do not own Fairy Tail._

_Prologue - It Started With A Kiss. Well, Kind Of..._

A new uniform. A new school. A new start.

Or it was meant to be.

"I'm telling you Erza, he pushed her! I saw it."

Gajeel-kun scowled, "I didn't touch the girl. We bumped into each other. It's not my fault she's so damn tiny she bounced off me. And down the stairs. It was purely accidental."

If this had been our old school this would no doubt have been an excuse fabricated for the teachers. That is, if any of them had dared challenge us in the first place. But this wasn't Oak Town and we weren't in Phantom Lord anymore. This was Magnolia High, Gajeel and I had been here all of two minutes yet, despite our best intentions, trouble was already brewing. I felt a flicker of worry that maybe starting over wouldn't be quite as easy as we'd hoped.

"Calm down, Jet. Are you okay, Levy?" asked Erza.

The blue haired girl who was, in Gajeel's defence, pretty small, wiped a tear away as it rolled slowly down her cheek, "My wrist hurts." Her right arm was pressed defensively against her chest and she did look a little pale.

"Ano, it really was an accident," I said softly, trying to ease some of the tension.

Erza turned towards me and I felt her cool gaze as she evaluated me. "Juvia and Gajeel, right? Two of the new transfer students. I'm Erza, the student council president."

As if she needed an introduction. Erza Scarlet was infamous. A living legend. Even in our old school that was full of nothing but badass delinquents everyone knew better than to cause trouble with anyone from this school. Magnolia High was a solid no-go zone because of her. And thus the perfect choice for getting away from our less than ideal past associates and all the bad memories. Except we seemed to be getting off to a really unfortunate start.

"Come on Erza. Just look at them. I can practically see the word 'trouble' stamped on their foreheads," said the other boy with Jet and Levy, giving us both a mutinous stare.

I sensed Gajeel-kun tensing up next to me. He probably wanted to beat these guys to a pulp. At our old school he would have and for much less than this stupid argument. A look that lingered too long, a hasty word spoken a little too loud, sometimes for no real reason other than he felt like it. Phantom Lord valued strength above all else. I strongly doubted that was the case at this school. Gajeel obviously knew that too so he put his strength to better use, stepped forward and swept the girl up into his arms. She let out a little squeak of surprise and both the boys with her looked shocked.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" The words exploded from Jet's mouth in a rush.

"I did not push this little pipsqueak down the stairs. But if it'll shut you up I'll take her to the school infirmary."

"Like hell you will!" Jet said at the same time that Levy asked, "Pipsqueak?" They both looked equally outraged and I almost sighed out loud at Gajeel's complete lack of social niceties.

"Thank you, Gajeel. I'm certain this was a regrettable accident. I'm also sure you're aware that this school has a zero tolerance policy on bullying," Erza cut in smoothly with just a hint of warning in her eyes, "And thank you Jet, Droy and Levy for agreeing to show the new students around."

"We what?"

Oh. So that was the type of look Titania tossed around to keep the students in line. It wasn't aimed at me but I still felt the force of it. "Any more objections?" the redhead asked. Obviously, there were none. "Good. See the school nurse but don't be late for the opening ceremony." And she was gone, hauling on some poor kid's collar because his uniform was a rumpled mess.

"Umm, there's actually nothing wrong with my legs. I can walk, you know," said Levy from her perch in Gajeel's arms.

"Clearly not so well since you managed to walk straight into me," Gajeel retorted.

"She managed perfectly well before you _pushed_ her," Jet said.

"Can we just stop? My wrist really does hurt and this sexist idiot obviously wont see reason."

"Sorry Levy. Droy and I will take good care of you later. I can't believe we got stuck showing this lot around."

"Maybe I _should _have pushed you," murmured Gajeel under his breath and I elbowed him.

We headed down the polished corridors, the three boys exchanging thinly veiled insults with Levy as referee, albeit a very biased one. I was checking out the school. The vibe here was so different. All around us people were excitedly greeting friends they hadn't seen all summer. Bright posters for all the different clubs vied for attention on the walls. Baby-faced freshmen clung together in groups, as wide eyed as I must be. I wondered if-

"Damn! Watch where you're going!"

* * *

Great. Just great. I looked down at my previously white shirt, now stained by what must be at least half of my iced frappaccino. Erza was always more proactive on the first day of a new term. She'd eat me alive for arriving at the opening ceremony looking like this.

The girl who'd bumped into me pulled a blue handkerchief out of her bag and started dabbing at me. "Juvia is so sorry. Are you okay?"

"I told you," said Jet with a shake of his head, "These two are pure trouble."

I studied what must be two new students. The barest of glances at the guy told me that Jet was probably right. Tattoos and piercings did tend to say trouble. Never mind the fact that in his arms Levy seemed even tinier than I already knew she was. Jet and Droy looked pissed off and the new guy was none too happy either. Not my business. I wasn't the slightest bit tempted to ask what the hell was going on there but I wouldn't put it past Levy to have acquired yet another fanboy. The new girl though... Now, trouble or not, I could _make_ her my business. She was a little shorter than me, with blue hair curled under at her shoulders, wide eyes and fair unblemished skin. A pretty face and an even better body. A hottie. She was standing close enough to me that I could smell her perfume. Fresh and earthy. Unusual but not unpleasant. Kind of reminded me of... the way the air smelled after it rained. Like the whole world had been washed clean. I decided that I liked it.

"Can you show her to the opening ceremony? We need to take Levy to the infirmary and we could do without having _two _walking disasters with us," Jet added. He sounded more than a little fed up and I could hardly protest to being introduced to a beautiful girl.

"Sure. I'd love to," I said. The guy with her gave me a sharp look but he obviously wasn't her boyfriend or, he didn't know of my reputation, because he walked away from us, following Jet and Droy down the corridor. Which left me alone with the hot new girl who was clearly flustered and continued to pat at my chest. "What's your name?"

"Juvia. Juvia really is sorry. Gajeel-kun and Juvia are getting off to a bad start at this school. _Really _bad."

She referred to herself in the third person. Different and a little cute, I could deal with that. "Welcome to Magnolia High, Juvia. I'm sure things will get better."

* * *

He was hot. Really hot and being so kind to me after I'd spilled his drink. If he noticed the cold coffee seeping through his ruined shirt, he gave no sign of it. Instead his eyes burned into me, taking in every detail. I prayed I wasn't blushing but if he was checking me out then it was only fair if I did the same. I pressed my handkerchief down a bit harder, under the guise of cleaning him up a little and was pleasantly surprised. His abs were rock solid. There couldn't be an inch of fat on him. I felt my heart skip a beat. I always did like guys who worked out. "Ano, Juvia doesn't know your name."

"Gray. Hold this for me, would you?" He pushed his coffee at me and I grasped it with two hands, eager to help but disappointed not to be touching him any more. "Not like that," he said readjusting my hands so only one held the cup and the other was held out towards him, palm up.

Then he stripped.

I'm pretty sure my mouth was gaping unattractively open but I couldn't help it. Gray laid his tie across my hand and with lightning speed his shirt was off and draped over my arm and the school hallway suddenly seemed a few degrees too warm. Gray was so fit. His body toned and sculptured to perfection, a rival to any of the boys at my old school. No, better, definitely better. A warm feeling swept through me but I tried to ignore it. This was most definitely_ not_ part of the 'new start' plan.

* * *

Any second now animated hearts were going to start shooting out of this girls' eyes. I took my drink back and took a long gulp, never breaking our gaze. She was blushing but it wasn't enough. I had a pretty good idea what a sweet girl like her would think was a big deal and what can I say? I lived to please.

* * *

He held the cup out to me, "Do you want some?"

Oh. My. God.

An indirect kiss with a hot guy on my first day at this new school. Forget rough starts, I must have arrived in heaven. A heaven filled with half-dressed men. Definitely my kind of place. My heart felt sure to pound right out of my chest but I tried to take the cup nonchalantly, like I did this sort of thing all the time. Which I didn't. I hadn't been exactly popular at my old school, for various reasons.

"Yo, Gray!"

I jumped and what remained of the coffee sloshed out of the cup and over our hands. _Way to go, Juvia! Just humiliate yourself like fucking always!_

Gray was laughing at me, "You're really clumsy." He took his shirt out of my hand and used it like a towel to wipe up the coffee, first off our hands then off the floor. Taking the empty cup from me he shot it at the bin across the hall. He didn't miss. I felt like such an idiot standing here next to him. He was so confident and cool and _together._ I liked that but it also highlighted the massive gap between us. My life was anything but together. I shouldn't have needed to be reminded of that.

* * *

Reality check. This girl was so _not_ my type. I had a bit of a reputation with women. Thus far it didn't include corrupting innocents and I planned on keeping it that way. Juvia was cute but things weren't going to work out between us. "Jellal! What's up? You're scaring the new girl."

"Oh, sorry," he said and we bumped fists. "What's this I hear about you quitting the dojo?"

I shrugged, "It's my senior year. I have better things to do on Saturdays then kick your ass."

He laughed, "You mean get your ass kicked by Erza."

"That too." No point denying it. Erza kicked everybody's ass so there was no shame in admitting defeat. Thinking of Erza, "You don't happen to have a spare shirt?" I held up the crumpled, coffee stained mess that had once been a part of my uniform.

Jellal raised an eyebrow, "Class hasn't even started on the first day."

"Her fault," I said and jerked my thumb at Juvia whose blush deepened. Yup, she was so sweet I could practically taste the sugar. I was normally pretty good at filtering out the girls who'd suit me but my aim was off this morning. There'd been something about her in those first moments when our paths had crossed, something dark around the edges that'd made me think she might be one of those good girls with a naughty side but that illusion was well and truly dead. Juvia and I were almost certainly incompatible.

* * *

"Juvia is very sorry," I bowed.

"Juvia. One of the new transfer students," the new boy mused. He had a really intricate mark on his face and I had to try hard not to stare.

"Hai."

"I'm Jellal, vice president of the student council. Nice to meet you. I'll have to arrange for someone to show you around. Not this reprobate."

"Who me?" asked Gray with mock indignation. It was immediately obvious that they were really good friends.

"Ano," I interrupted, seeing my chance and seizing it, "Erza-san asked a few people to show Gajeel-kun and Juvia around but Juvia would like if Gray-san did it."

"That's what all the girls say," Jellal said and Gray snickered. Jellal pointed at him, "You have a filthy mind. I did not mean it like that and neither did she."

It took a few seconds but then it struck me what had been said that could be turned into a joke. I covered my face with my hands, horrified. I must be as red as a tomato by now. How could this boy have me falling to pieces so easily?

* * *

No doubt now. This girl was definitely way too innocent for me. She couldn't even handle one simple innuendo without blushing like crazy. "Gray!" An unmistakable voice yelled my name. Ah, man. I was so busted.

"Are you harassing the new girl? And where the hell are your clothes?" Erza demanded. This girl must have eyes in the back of her fucking head or a sixth sense or something like that, damn. She always appeared out of nowhere whenever anything was going down. Usually to my detriment.

Jellal wrapped his arm around Erza's shoulders and tugged playfully on her ponytail, "Relax Erza. I'm keeping our resident Casanova in line."

I watched them carefully. We'd been friends for a long time but even I found it hard to believe when Jellal and Erza said they weren't fucking. Whatever. If they wanted to keep their friends with benefits thing under wraps from even their closest friends then that was their business. Right this moment, I just didn't want Erza to beat me up again. "Jellal is getting me a new shirt."

"Yeah, it's fine," he said, not missing a beat. Our history was complicated, what with our mutual links to Ultear who seemed to play almost sister, faux mother and definite royal pain in the ass to both of us at various stages in our lives. A lot had changed in my life in the last ten years yet no matter what, I could always trust Jellal to have my back.

Temporarily mollified, Erza turned her attention to Juvia, "Fine. You go get dressed properly and I'll show Juvia to the opening ceremony because at this rate she'll never get there."

* * *

Erza-san and her boyfriend looked really good together. They must have been going out a long time to be so comfortable acting this way in school. Jellal was twirling the scarlet strands of Erza's hair around and around his fingers. "You changed your shampoo," he said, nuzzling her hair.

Erza, Titiana, the legend who managed to scare more or less everyone with just the force of her well deserved reputation, blushed. _Blushed._ Like a normal in love school girl. This time I managed to keep my mouth shut, despite the second earthshaking surprise in under five minutes. "I didn't think you'd notice," she said to him.

"Don't I notice everything about you? Usually," Jellal pulled Erza closer, fitting her against his side.

Even though they were only standing there, talking, it felt like I was intruding on something private. It might have been the way they looked at each other, the easy, confident way he touched her, the way she _let _him, but I unconsciously took a step back, surprised by the intimate vibe coming from them. You'd have thought they were home alone, not stood in the middle of the hall with an audience looking on.

"Don't worry," Gray said, "You'll get use to them being that way."

"What way?" The couple said in perfect unison and Gray sent me a look that made it seem like we were co-conspirators. I didn't feel so far out of my depth now and it was looking like this new school might suit me after all. I smiled at them. It'd be nice to have real friends for a change.

* * *

Juvia looked more relaxed than she had the whole time we'd been talking. The warning bell rang and Jellal reluctantly released his hold on Erza. The opening ceremony would wait for no one and as council members today was going to be hectic for them. Even so, Jellal took the time to whisper something to Erza. They stood there, lost in their own little bubble. Crazy. I'd eat my school tie if they really weren't having sex. The connection between them was off the fucking chart. I winked at Juvia and she smiled back, those blue eyes of hers sparkling. She was hot but way too sweet to interest me. A shame really as I wouldn't have minded having a taste of her. I took one step away from her but something in me wouldn't let things end like this.

* * *

I nervously tapped my two index fingers together. Erza was going to walk me over to the opening ceremony but I still didn't know anything much about Gray. What homeroom was he in? Would we met again? Did he want my number? This wasn't a huge school but it'd be nice to know this meeting wasn't a one-off.

"Hey, I think I owe you something," he said and stepped close to me. My heart went into overdrive as he invaded my personal space. He caught my chin in one hand, the other circling my waist to land on the small of my back and leaned down. It was presumptuous and forward and I should have slapped him for his audacity. Instead I squeezed my eyes shut, anticipating the kiss. As first days went this was fucking insane. And wonderful. Really, truly wonderful.

Gray's nose bumped mine and my first thought was that for all his bravado he was going to be a terrible kisser. But this wasn't a kiss at all. At least not of the kind I was expecting. Gray rubbed his nose gently over mine three times. I opened my eyes in surprise and was immediately lost in his. Despite my best efforts to keep it suppressed, a feeling I'd thought was gone for good sprang to life in my heart.

"There," he said in a soft whisper, his breath warm against my lips, "is the indirect kiss I owe you. Eskimo style."

And just like that everything was lost without me even knowing it was up for grabs in the first place. "Oh," I breathed as my heart twisted, "Gray...-sama."


	2. Only Girl In The World

_A/N: Fighting Fate and my first fanfic, Confession Confusion, are based in the same alternate universe. The timeline of the two stories overlap. You do not have to read Confession Confusion to understand Fighting Fate. However, since the two stories are closely linked they do contain 'spoilers' of each other._

_I do not own Fairy Tail._

_Chapter One – Only Girl In The World_

The walkway between the main school building and the gym was clearly engineered by a woman who understood exactly what it was like be young and in love. Yes, it kept you dry if the weather was terrible and you had to get to or from the gym. Yes, it was lovely and shady during lunch on sunny days so you could hang out with your friends. The architects had even bothered to make it pretty. All the harsh concrete was offset with vivid red, climbing roses that had burst into life at the first hint of spring, just in time to show off the school to next year's prospective students. But all that paled into nothing when compared with one simple, undeniable truth. The arched roof, the thick columns, the precise angle between the walkway and the school playing fields...

It was a perfect place for checking out your crush.

The concrete was rough against my fingertips as I peered around the column. There he was. My heart thumped painfully and I couldn't hold back a soft sigh. My Gray-sama. Of course whether or not he was _actually_ mine was largely debatable depending on who you asked. Unfortunately, Gray-sama and I had slightly different opinions on the matter but never mind. The term _unrequited love _might have convinced some to give up but not me. Gray-sama was going to be mine. Someday.

Opposite my hiding place, the boys were on their warm down, jogging a final lap around the playing field. Not long now and I'd be able to speak to Gray-sama. It felt like forever since the final bell rung and we'd escaped from class until Monday rolled by again. The perfect start to my weekend was always watching Gray-sama train. He'd ditched his shirt ages ago, like usual, and in the afternoon sun the sweat glistened off his body. He looked like a Greek god. Adonis sprung from legend to tease me. I bit my lip. I'd been under his spell since the day we met and the feelings showed no sign of abating any time soon. Mine for him, or his for me. Gray-sama didn't like me _'that way'_. I don't know why. I'd thought we'd shared a connection that day in the hallway before the opening ceremony but as the months rolled by he'd pulled further and further away from me. Sometimes I felt bad about it but I always thought that if something was worth having, then it was worth fighting for, and Gray-sama was definitely worth it.

Voices and footsteps drew me out of my thoughts. I slunk further behind my chosen column. That was the downside of this walkway, other girls liked to use it too. I didn't mind so much if they watched the boys train, unless they were here specifically for Gray-sama. Of course if they were I had no choice but to put them off. Politely. Usually. Okay, never politely, but he was _mine. _I had the right. Well, at least I thought I did.

The voices grew louder as a group of people approached. I recognised one voice and relaxed. Lucy-san. We'd had a bit of a rivalry at the beginning of the school year but since January she'd been dating Natsu. They seemed happy together and we'd become really good friends now that I was confident she wasn't going after Gray-sama. My attention was split between what she was saying and watching Gray-sama but one phrase stood out. _Confessing is never easy._

That was certainly true but if someone was here to confess to Gray-sama they'd find it a hell of a lot harder as long as I was here. Resolved, I stole a peek at who was planning on upstaging me. Lucy, Erza and Cana. No way. Lucy had Natsu. Erza had Jellal. Kind of. Truth be told I wasn't really sure about them. They acted like a couple but both of them always denied dating. It was weird. In any case that left Cana and as far as I knew she had plenty of lovers. Jack Daniels, Johnnie Walker and Jim Beam just to name a few. I seriously doubted that she was interested in anything that didn't come in a bottle. Or better still, a keg.

Curious, I tried harder to hear what they were saying but they'd stopped too far down the walkway for me to hear anything more than the odd phrase here and there. Fortunately, the scene didn't require words. Erza-san stood in the middle of her friends, anxiously twisting a letter in her hands. Lucy laid a hand on Erza's arm and the fidgety motion stopped. I'd seen this a million times before. Those tense moments before a girl confronted her crush with a confession letter but surely that couldn't be what was happening now. I mean, this was _Titania_. If she had something to say, she just said it. Cana handed a bottle to Erza and she took a huge swallow. Wow. This was pretty serious if the student council president needed to borrow some liquid courage to get the job done.

All at once the puzzle pieces fell into place. Erza was dumping Jellal and confessing to my Gray-sama. Oh my god. I knew that story about her and Gray-sama being nothing but childhood friends was bullshit. My stomach twisted into knots. Erza was beautiful, confident, strong and practically joined at the hip with Jellal. I'd never thought for a second that she might be a love rival for Gray-sama's affection. Across the field the boys were finished their warm down and were walking in the direction of the gym. Horrified, I watched Erza set off on a course to intercept them.

* * *

I'd misplaced my shirt. Again. It hardly mattered anymore. I'd lost count of how many shirts I'd misplaced over the years and instead of breaking that bad habit of stripping them off, I'd gained a new one of compulsively buying them. It was easier than waking up one day and realising my closet was empty. In any case, the one I'd been wearing today was one of the few I made sure never to lose. It was from a charity event we'd done for the dojo last year. Just a silly car wash but I had some great memories of that summer day. Erza being her usual bossy self, completely oblivious to the fact that at least half the guys there were more interested in her wet t-shirt than raising money for charity. Natsu and I fighting like always but with wet sponges and water hoses instead of fists. Jellal actually getting most of the work done with that easy way he had of convincing people to follow his lead, without him or them realising he was doing it. All of us hanging out like we used to. I wasn't normally nostalgic but it felt like everything had changed this year... I got a glimpse of Gajeel out of the corner of my eye, talking to Natsu. Some of the changes hadn't really been for the worse, but I wasn't altogether convinced they'd all been for the better either, so I kept hold of the damn shirt.

I peeled away from my friends and headed to the edge of the field where I thought I might have tossed the shirt. I scouted around, peering into the bushes that edged the playing field. It was testament to how lost I was in my thoughts of last summer that I didn't notice the trap until I'd fallen right into it. A hand clamped around my wrist and hauled me through the undergrowth and down onto the soft grass. "What the-?" I let out an exasperated breath. I really should rejoin the dojo. My reflexes were getting slow. I looked up from the grass at my attacker. I was not the slightest bit surprised to see Juvia silhouetted against the dappled sunlight. The girl had gone from wide-eyed infatuation to downright stalking over the past few months. No matter what I did or said I couldn't seem to shake her. Emotionally or literally.

She sat across my thighs, pinning me to the ground. She was still in her school uniform but it was Friday afternoon so she'd ditched her school ribbon and loosened the top two buttons of her shirt. If it'd been any other girl I probably would have appreciated how her current position sent her school skirt inching up her thighs but this was Juvia so my brain automatically short-circuited those thoughts. She was breathing hard and fast liked she'd ran over here to accost me which probably wasn't far from the truth. Her blue hair was currently littered with bits of green foliage. Just another change I hardly noticed. The day we met her hair had been long, curling at her shoulders, then she'd switched to wearing it in loose waves, then she'd sliced a whole load of it off and now she was growing it out again. Apparently I was supposed to like one of these styles. I didn't give a damn but that didn't stop her trying. A school bag was on the ground next to us, the contents threatening to spill out of it, a keychain with _my _name on it identifying it as _hers_. "What are you doing?" I asked and resigned myself to whatever nonsensical response she had.

* * *

"Shh!" I hissed without heat, "Juvia is protecting Gray-sama." I tried to ignore the way it felt to have Gray-sama lying underneath me. Believe it or not I hadn't actually planned on landing on top of him but if providence wanted to give me a helping hand I wouldn't say no.

"I sincerely doubt that I'm in need of your protection," Gray said, not bothering to lower his voice at all.

"Gray-sama!" I placed my hand gently over his mouth, "Be quiet please. Erza-san is looking for Gray-sama." That got his attention. He pulled my hand away and whispered, "Why? I haven't done anything. I think."

"Hmm," I hummed softly and leaned over him to peer under the bushes. I felt a secret thrill as my breasts brushed against his bare chest. He was warm and sweaty and so _male. _It was intoxicating and a soft flame stirred deep down inside me. My love for Gray-sama was pure but somehow he always had me thinking dirty thoughts.

"Juvia, why? Did she tell you?" Gray-sama's breath tickled my ear like he was whispering a secret but his hands landed on my waist and I could feel him trying to push me off.

* * *

Juvia was draped all over me. Annoyingly I didn't think I could shift her without hurting her. She was bizarrely strong. Most of the time she just clung on my arm or hovered around me but once in awhile she'd do something that reminded me so much of the moves we used at the dojo. Which was ridiculous. Juvia was soft and sweet, nothing like Erza or even someone like Meredy who looked cute but would put you on your ass if you weren't paying enough attention during sparing sessions. I don't know how a girl like her had, firstly, been enrolled at Oak Town High and, secondly, actually managed not to end up in intensive care. That school was beyond rough. I assumed Gajeel had looked out for her. Maybe he'd taught her a few self-defensive moves or something. Either way, she was more athletic than you'd think. Still, I couldn't just throw her off me. I squeezed her waist, "Get off."

* * *

As if. I was thoroughly enjoying myself, exactly where I was. Gray-sama had become a kind of expert at avoiding me which meant I had to keep finding new ways to get close to him. This was heaven to me. Across the playing field I kept my eyes on Erza's bright ponytail, "She's talking to Jellal."

"What?"

"Erza."

"And that's weird because...?"

It wasn't weird. It wasn't weird at all. I frowned, "Juvia thought..." Maybe I'd misunderstood something. Or maybe I had saved Gray-sama. After all, out of sight was out of mind. Hopefully Jellal and Erza would stay together because I really didn't want to get on Erza's bad side. I leaned back and smiled down at Gray-sama. "It's okay. Juvia thinks Gray-sama is safe."

He quirked one eyebrow at me, "I'm thrilled. Now can you get off me?"

* * *

Juvia slid with obvious reluctance off my legs and I could finally sit up. She knelt next to me, her face all aglow, nervously tapping her index fingers together. "Gray-sama, maybe, this weekend we could-"

"No."

"But Gray-sama-"

"I said no. Like I say _every _weekend. Why do we have to go through this all the time Juvia?"

"Juvia is not sorry," she said adamantly and I knew she meant it. She apologised for a lot of things but never for trying to be with me.

"Thanks for saving me from Erza but you really need to stop doing this shit. It's annoying."

She pouted and tilted her head to one side, obviously planning to stage a protest but all the twigs and leaves in her hair had me fighting down a laugh.

"What?" She demanded, "What is it Gray-sama?"

"You're such a mess. Sit still." I reached for her and she went dead still. Her hair was soft and silky between my fingers. It just about brushed her shoulders now. Only a few more months and it'd be back to how it was when we first met. "Your hair is getting long again," the words slipped out into the quiet between us before I could censor myself.

* * *

I was scarcely breathing, so desperate not to ruin this mood. That was the thing about Gray-sama. He insisted that he didn't like me but he couldn't change his personality. He hung around a lot of women and flirting was second nature to him. Sometimes I think he forgot he was supposed to dislike me. Like now. His fingertips rubbed against my scalp and I barely suppressed the shudder that tingled down my spine. "Does Gray-sama... Does Gray-sama like Juvia's hair better when it's longer?"

He shrugged, "I don't really care but..." He hesitated.

I didn't say anything, forced myself to restrain the eager questions that pressed on my tightly closed lips. I know Gray-sama thought my affection for him was over the top and lately I'd been trying to hold it in, at least a little. To be honest, I hadn't had much success. I didn't have much self-control when it came to him.

"It was prettiest when you first moved here," he finally said.

I knew it! I just about resisted throwing my arms around him. It'd taken eight months and a dozen or more different styles but finally I knew which one he liked. The irony of it being a style from when I hadn't been trying to get his attention was not lost on me. The other girls were always saying that I was trying too hard but I couldn't seem to help myself.

* * *

Juvia's smile lit up her face, "Juvia will go back to wearing it that way for Gray-sama."

I scowled at her, "You're not doing it for me. It's your hair. Do whatever you like with it." It was so like her to take an innocent throw away comment and twist it into something it wasn't. I let my hands fall. What the hell was I doing playing with her damn hair anyway? She was the kind of girl that you smiled at once and she immediately started making wedding plans and picking out colours for the nursery. Not my type. I liked party girls. Girls who liked to dance in skirts a little too short and have the kind of fun their parents wouldn't like to find out about. Girls who wouldn't bat an eye when I disappeared from their beds the morning after because they'd only been in it for the one night, same as me.

I liked bad girls.

And Juvia was, well, anything but bad. She'd probably never had an indecent thought in her entire life. Doubtless she hoped to marry a fairy tale prince and live happily ever after. Why she thought I was that prince was beyond me. Not for the first time I regretted my actions from the day we'd met. I stood up with a sigh, annoyed at myself and at her. Why didn't she just give up already?

* * *

Gray-sama was cross with me. With one sentence I'd ruined the exact moment I'd been so desperate to preserve. He stood up and my instant reaction was to keep him here with me. My fingers curled around the bottom edge of his shorts, "Gray-sama..." I couldn't keep the pleading tone out of my voice and he only looked more irate.

"Just stop Juvia. I've had enough of this. I don't like you. Not then, not now, not ever."

Even after all this time and the many, many rejections I'd had from Gray-sama each new one still hurt. What exactly was it about me that was so displeasing to him? He went out every weekend and flirted with anything that had two x chromosomes. Okay, not anything. Every girl he 'dated' or at least hooked up with was stunningly beautiful. It did terrible things to my self-confidence thinking I wasn't pretty enough to tempt him when it was well known how much he slept around. But I didn't give up. I just tried harder to be the kind of girl he'd like. Because at the end of the day, I didn't just like Gray-sama, I was head over heels in love with him.

"We could go to a movie?"

"No." He said, his voice clipped and forceful.

"Hang out at the mall?"

"I said no!"

"Okay. What about-"

"What part of N.O. did you not understand?" Gray shook my hand off, shouldered his way through the small gap in the bushes and I scampered to my feet to follow him.

"The weather is supposed to be nice. We could have a picnic in the park. Juvia knows all the things Gray-sama likes."

His scowl only deepened and I realised now was probably a bad time to remind him just how much I tended to follow him around. It wasn't stalking, it was... research. How else was I suppose to find out intimate things about him? It's not like we had those kind of conversations. So I knew the foods he loved, the ones he hated and most importantly all about his allergy to nuts. A girl had to know these things. What if he finally decided to kiss me the day I'd eaten a snickers bar or something? I wouldn't mind blowing his mind but death was a step too far.

I trailed behind Gray-sama. He found his shirt over by the goalpost. I could have told him where it was but this way I'd had more time to admire his back while he searched. I watched him pull it over his head, muscles flexing under his skin. I suspected that even though he'd quit the dojo he still worked out. I felt that familiar flash of heat, imagining his body over mine. I longed to touch him again but he was already striding away from me, back towards the gym.

* * *

Juvia trailed after me like a lost puppy. She was so fucking annoying sometimes. Most of the time. Damn near _all _the time. I'd thought at first that if I ignored her she would eventually give up but she never did. I wasn't sure what it would take for her to move on but I sure wished it'd happen soon. I couldn't take much more of this.

Outside the gym Jellal was hugging Erza, his hands that little bit too low down on her back for the gesture to be purely friendly. My step faltered. In my rush to get away from Juvia I'd walked to within ten feet of the very girl I'd been trying to avoid in the first place. Abruptly, Erza jerked out of his arms and stormed off, her face nearly the same shade of red as her hair. Jellal looked bemused after her, then caught sight of me and shrugged, "Sometimes I just don't understand her."

"Well, women are like that," I said, thinking of all the bat shit crazy things I'd been subjected to by Juvia this year.

"Hey, Juvia," he said and I felt more than saw Juvia appear at my elbow.

She waved brightly, "Jellal, are you and Erza okay?"

"Yeah. We're cool. She's just stressed about prom and graduation."

"Prom..." Juvia murmured with that dreamy voice all girls used when that particular topic came up.

I didn't see what the big deal was. I'd already learned the hard way not to dwell on that topic too much unless I wanted an hour long discussion of the pros and cons of sequins. I quickly changed the subject, "Any plans this weekend?"

"Dojo. Revision for the exams. Not much. You want to come round mine tonight? I think the girls are doing some girly stuff."

"Alright. If you're free Saturday night this girl I know is throwing a party. Her parents are out of town."

* * *

"Can Juvia come?" I interrupted. I tried, as much as possible, to always find out what Gray was doing on the weekends.

"Was I even talking to you? Give me a break Juvia!" He whirled to face me, "Listen carefully, you are quite literally the only girl in the world I wouldn't want to spend the weekend with so stop fucking asking."

"Oi Gray," Jellal said, his voice full of disapproval but I'd really pissed Gray-sama off and he stomped into the gym. "He doesn't mean that. Not really." Jellal's smile was kind and not for the first time I envied Erza for loving a man who would never hurt her.

I nodded and gave him a tiny smile back. It was all the response I could muster as disappointment and pain flooded my heart. All these months but the rejection never got any easier. I'd love to be closer to Gray-sama but what I wanted and what was reality were more than a million miles apart. Even worse, every day the gap seemed to grow that much bigger. I hung around outside the gym for a bit. Maybe, if I was lucky, I'd find out where this party was tomorrow and I could go with Gray-sama. Well, maybe not exactly _with _him, but close enough. I sighed and tilted my head back so the sunlight warmed my face. My heart felt heavy yet I couldn't give up, would never give up. I'd be the only girl in Gray-sama's world someday.

He just didn't know it yet.


	3. Who's That Girl?

_A/N: My original characters are for the purpose of background only. If they become Mary Sue-ish someone be kind enough to let me know. I do not own Fairy Tail. _

_Chapter Two – Who's That Girl?_

"I need a girlfriend."

"Oh, god. Don't you start that too." I resisted the impulse to roll my eyes at the closest person I had to a brother. Lately, it seemed like everyone had gone relationship mad. I couldn't blink without one of my friends falling into some hardcore romance as if love was a contagious disease. One person got tied down and suddenly everyone was signing up for a voluntary prison sentence. The way I saw it, a cage was a cage, no matter how pretty the jailor may be.

Lyon looked at me over the top of his coke, "I'm serious. I feel like having a summer fling, you know, one last steady girlfriend before we go to college."

"Or you could just carry on as you are and to hell with going steady. Why get with a girl you know you'll dump the first week of college anyway?" Everyone knew that the combination of drunken parties and the chance to meet literally hundreds of new people with similar interests made college a graveyard for most high school relationships. Statistically, it was also an amazing place to meet 'The One'. If you believed in that crap. Which I didn't.

"You're missing the point," Lyon insisted, "It won't be _serious_, serious. Just exclusive."

This time I did roll my eyes, "When you find a girl to commit to that be sure to not let me know."

Lyon sighed, "When did you become such a cynic? You've never even had a serious girlfriend so I don't know where this aversion to relationships came from."

I shrugged. Lyon and I went way back but I wasn't about to explain_ that_ to him. We'd had our fair share of being rivals when we were fostered together, followed by a short time of being more enemies than anything else when our foster-mother died, but in hindsight, we'd been more angry at the injustice of the world than at each other and had eventually outgrown those feelings. Still, we weren't as close now as we used to be. The rift that had formed at that particular funeral had never truly healed but we didn't talk about that and carried on much as we always had.

It was usually Natsu that I considered to be my best friend, if I had to pick one. Not that'll I'd tell him any of my private thoughts. We had a lot of fun together but he was still an idiot and a pyromaniac. Thinking about it, I'd hardly spent any time with him lately. We had the occasional fight now and then but Lucy had changed the dynamic of our friendship. I didn't mind her. In fact I quite liked her. She was pretty and fun to be around, and if she hadn't been so obviously into Natsu from the first week of school I probably would have talked her into bed with me. Numbskull that Natsu was, he'd missed all her subtle hints and it'd taken New Years Eve, a bottle of vodka and her tongue in his mouth to get the point that she liked him across. They been together ever since, which was cool, but she was always there. Constantly. Boys night had become a relic of a long forgotten time. Then again, if I had the choice, I'd probably spend my weekends banging a girl like her anyway.

I grinned at the thought. That was exactly the kind of weekends I _did _tend to have, minus all the commitment bullshit. All the fun, none of the hassle. I couldn't understand the compulsion my friends had for actual relationships. Why work so hard for something plenty of girls were willing to give away for free?

"Where are we going tonight anyway?" Lyon asked.

"The house of this girl I know. Her name is Risley and her parents are away this weekend."

"Sounds epic. Is this Risley hot?"

"Uh... She has her moments."

Lyon laughed, "Is that the polite way of saying no?"

I grinned and shook my head, "She's big into feminism and all sorts of other campaigns. Kind of flip-flops between being a health conscious, save the planet, vegetarian or a hell raising, bra burning, slightly crazy fanatic. I'm never sure which side of her I'll get. Vegetarian Risley is hot. Bra burning Risley thinks big is beautiful and is not so hot." There was nothing wrong with a few curves but Risley took the idea that two (or twenty) cheeseburgers too far. It was a shame because she had such a pretty face. I'd met her a few months ago and we'd started an ongoing idle flirtation, then she'd gone all supersize on me and relegated herself into my friend zone. The invitation to her party had found its way onto my Facebook page a few days ago. I'd initially planned on ignoring it but I had nothing better to do except revise and I was bored to death with that. As an added bonus, Risley attended an exclusive all girl school on the outskirts of Magnolia. At the very least not all of her friends would have the same yo-yo weight issues that Risley did. "She's cool though."

"Then why haven't I seen her around before?" Lyon looked sceptical.

"Relax man, have I ever led you astray? She goes to Mermaid Heel."

"An all girl school?"

I winked at him, "This party will be like shooting fish in a barrel." Lyon could look for a girlfriend all he wanted, I was out to get laid tonight and what better place than a house party full of girls starved of male attention?

* * *

"Does Gajeel-kun think Juvia is pretty?"

"You're kidding, right? Why the hell would you ask me that?" Gajeel glared up at me.

I shrugged, "Who else is Juvia supposed to ask?"

"Of course I think you're pretty," he said with a sigh that was quickly followed by a mumble that sounded suspiciously like 'attention seeker'.

"Juvia heard that!" I cried indignantly but Gajeel only laughed at me and I couldn't help smiling back at him. We were outside the school auditorium, feeding the fish in the massive tank that always wowed visitors. It was pretty impressive, taking up a third of the hallway so that students had no choice but to walk around it like a river flowing around an immovable rock. Its width was matched by its height which was why Gajeel held the ladder steady while I sprinkled the little brown food pellets across the surface of the water. "There you go," I murmured as the fish rushed to the top of the tank. I watched them for a moment, light playing off their scales as they swam effortlessly around.

"Are you nearly finished? This is our last task for today and I have plans for tonight."

I could hear the impatience in his voice so I started making my way down the ladder. By rights we had paid back the debt we owed Makarov-sensei many times over by now but we still spent every Saturday afternoon at school doing odd jobs for him anyway. We might have compensated for what we'd done to him but what he'd given us in exchange had no equivalent. I'd probably make a point of stopping by the school even after I graduated. I mean, if it wasn't for Makarov-sensei then right now I'd probably be...

"Don't think about it, Juvia" Gajeel said as I stepped off the bottom rung of the ladder and turned around to face him.

He was always so good at reading me, "Juvia can't help it sometimes, and Juvia thinks we shouldn't ever forget how lucky we are not to be there anymore."

He nodded, "Of course, but don't let it get you down. We're not those people now and we never will be again."

Gajeel was right so I pushed the memories down and smiled instead. "That's my girl," he said as he folded up the ladder. He threw one arm over my shoulders and we set off down the hall. I don't think people understood just how close Gajeel and I were. We weren't obvious best friends the way Jellal and Erza were. Gajeel would never put his arm around me on a normal school day but he was different when it was just the two of us. "So what plans does Gajeel-kun have?"

"Levy and I are going to study."

I don't think college had ever factored into Gajeel's life plan but it was a definite fact that Levy was going, probably with a full scholarship too, so the guy I'd known who flunked classes simply because of non-attendance had quickly been replaced with someone who actually gave a damn. I'd never tell him but I thought bumping into Levy was one of the best things to ever happen to him. They'd had a bit of a rough start but had somehow converted dislike and mistrust into a solid relationship I couldn't help being a tiny bit jealous of. Where had I gone so wrong with Gray-sama? I elbowed Gajeel playfully, "Sure. 'Studying' alone in Levy-san's room on a Saturday night."

As expected Gajeel didn't rise to my bait, a glimmer of a frown the only indication that he didn't approve of my teasing. If you didn't know them personally it'd be incredibly difficult to tell they were dating at all. Levy was so shy and Gajeel was an intensely private person. The combination meant that even me, his best friend who also happened to live in the same house as her, had only seen them kiss a handful of times all year. "We're going over world history. You can join us if you want."

"Thanks Gajeel-kun but if it's okay with you, Juvia needs a ride to a party."

"Whose?"

"Uh, just a friend."

Gajeel slowed down, his hand on my shoulder forcing me to keep pace with him. "Who?"

"Does it matter?"

He groaned and tilted his head back to look at the ceiling as if appealing to a higher power, "Juvia, you need to stop doing this shit."

"What," I said defensively, "Is Juvia not allowed to go out and have fun?"

"Don't play cute. You know I'm talking about you showing up to places you're not invited to just because you know Gray is going to be there."

I blushed, "It's a house party. Lots of people will be there."

"But you're only there for him."

I tapped my index fingers together, "Yeah, but if Gajeel-kun were Juvia wouldn't you go too?"

"No! Ugh, we are not having this conversation again." Gajeel's arm dropped from around my shoulders and he stalked ahead of me, opening the storage cupboard with enough force to rattle the door in the frame. That was another thing about him. Gray probably had no idea how angry Gajeel became thinking about us. Or the lack of us. Or more like my unrequited, never-ending love for Gray-sama. I got the impression the only reason Gajeel hadn't gotten into an argument with Gray about it yet was because Gray only ignored me. It kind of sucked that even my best friend didn't support my love but I wasn't giving up. "Even if Gajeel doesn't take Juvia, Juvia will go anyway."

"I know. You're too damn stubborn by half. At least he has the sense not to encourage you."

Ouch. I bit my lip, "Gajeel-kun is friends with Gray-sama so Juvia doesn't see why Gajeel doesn't like the thought of Juvia dating Gray-sama."

Gajeel closed the cupboard door, a good deal softer than he'd opened it. "It's because I'm friends with him. If I had a sister, he's exactly the kind of guy I wouldn't want her to get involved with. He'll fuck you over Juvia. In a heartbeat. And be with some new girl the same damn day."

Double ouch. I didn't need to be reminded of the never-ending cycle of girls that flitted in and out of Gray-sama's life like it was a revolving door. But that was half the reason I had to be wherever he was. Getting with Gray for the night was like playing the lottery. You had to be in it to win it. One day he'd look at me and realise I was the most beautiful girl in the room but not if I spent all my time avoiding the competition. I couldn't deny how soul destroying it was to see him leave with someone else but no pain, no gain, as the saying went.

We stopped by the office long enough to say goodbye to Makarov-sensei. The slightly uncomfortable silence between us stretched on until Gajeel handed me my helmet. "Let's go for a ride," I suggested. Gajeel's only reply was to put on his own helmet and motion for me to get on. I climbed on behind him and resigned myself to his quiet disapproval. Beneath us the Suzuki purred to life and we coasted to the school gates. Gajeel flicked up his visor just long enough to tell me to hold on and I knew I'd been forgiven. He looked dangerous but underneath his rough and tumble facade Gajeel was a true friend. Besides, anyone who went to our old school knew appearances were often deceiving. I was the dangerous one. Well, I used to be. What Makarov-sensei's kindness and understanding had started, falling in love with Gray-sama had finished. That girl was dead and gone. I laid my head against Gajeel's broad shoulders and told myself I was a good girl now. Still, my heart leapt as the powerful bike surged forward. I guess some things never changed.

* * *

"Ah damn! Why do you keep beating me?" Lyon threw down his controller as 'Game Over' scrolled across his half of the screen in time to the 'Winner' banner strewn across my half.

"Because you suck at this and I don't," I smirked. That made it four-nothing to me. _Need for Speed_ was clearly not one of his strong points.

"Whatever. Hey, my parents said if I ace my finals they'll buy me a new car for college." Lyon went from looking sulky to smug in three seconds flat.

"Great. That makes you the designated driver. I'll get drunk, you'll drive my ass home."

"Haha. Very funny."

A faint female voice called from downstairs, "Boys?"

"Yeah?" We replied in unison.

"Dinner is ready. And Gray?"

"Uh huh?"

"Remember to put some clothes on!"

Lyon burst out laughing and I opened my mouth to make a smart comment back but the voice beat me to it, "You too Lyon! Never mind that you're too young and scrawny to interest me anyway."

Lyon's laugh cut off in a strangled gasp and it was my turn to laugh until tears leaked out of the corners of my eyes. As it was, we'd both managed to take our shirts off without realising it so the reminder was a valid one. We trooped downstairs, suitable clothed for dinner. In the kitchen Grace was pulling a roasted chicken from the oven. "Smells great Mrs B," Lyon said, his hand snaking out to steal a roast potato off a baking tray on the counter.

"Don't try it, if you value those fingers," Grace said with that no-nonsense tone of hers.

Lyon's hand froze then made a hasty retreat. A wise decision. I knew from experience that Grace knew of at least one more use for a wooden spoon that had nothing to do with serving food. Needless to say, the results were surprisingly painful.

"Make yourselves useful. Lay the table," she ordered and we fell into line immediately. Amazing how such a tiny woman could run circles around us better than a drill sergeant.

Dinner was much the same as always. Lyon voiced his objections to being described as scrawny. Julian was loud and chatty, his deep voice booming across the table. Grace plied us with far more food than we could ever hope to eat. She loved to cook and her husband loved to entertain. It was a potent combination that meant family dinners had been revolutionised for me since I'd come to live with them. I think Lyon would have stayed there half the night talking to them if I hadn't manhandled him out the front door. As was their custom Grace and Julian lingered on the front step, hand in hand, watching me leave. "Be safe," Grace called after me and I waved, knowing she'd worry until I was back home tomorrow.

"They are so awesome. I think Mr B just about broke my arm," Lyon said waving his arm in my face.

"That's what you get for challenging a retired lumberjack to an arm wrestling contest."

"Mrs B said I was scrawny! I had a point to prove."

"Yeah. You proved she was right!"

"Aw shut up. He has an unfair advantage."

"It's called good, old-fashioned, honest work. He earned those muscles." Lyon was hardly scrawny but after forty-five years of felling trees, Julian was built like a mountain. He was more than three times our age but you wouldn't think so.

"I earned mine too. This year I'll kick Natsu's ass at nationals. Shame you won't be there for me to thrash you too." He punched my arm, "Not that you'd be a challenge. You've gone all soft since you quit anyway."

I might have quit the dojo but that was an insult I couldn't let slide. "Come on then. Let's see who gets a thrashing?"

Lyon's eyes lit up with that familiar sense of challenge. Julian cleared his throat, "Now Gray, not in front of your mother." The warning was subtle, but there. Even when I'd been at the dojo, Grace had never come to a single competition of mine. She hated fighting. I knew she put up with it since martial arts had been such a huge part of my life from way before I met them. Still, she was the only person not to nag me about quitting.

I eased out of my stance. Lack of practice couldn't erase years of muscle memory. It was as natural as breathing to me. "I wouldn't want Grace to have to watch you cry."

Lyon scoffed and relaxed, "Really? Cause I was thinking it'd be a shame to have to embarrass you in front of her."

The moment passed and we climbed into Lyon's beat up car, trash talking each other the entire time. We were pulling out of the drive when Lyon suddenly changed tack. "Hey Gray," he asked, his voice turning serious, "Why don't you call Mr and Mrs Belair Mom and Dad?"

I gaped at him, "What the fuck? Are we playing twenty-one questions or something?" Lyon looked surprised but really he'd already wandered into dangerous territory with the girlfriend shit and now that overly personal question?

"Dude, calm down. I'm just asking. No need to go all kamikaze on me. Chill out. Damn." His eyes flicked between the road and my face, confusion at my harsh response all over his expression.

I turned away and looked out the window. "They're not my fucking parents. That's why."

"Whoa. That's cold. They adopted you so, technically, they are."

"Let it go alright. I just don't want to."

Four years I'd been living with Julian and Grace. In all that time I'd never called them by anything but their names. They'd tried of course, in the beginning, to get me not to. I'd been the last in a long list of foster children to enter their lives and, for some reason I couldn't understand, they'd taken to me. The overactive fourteen year old who couldn't keep a shirt on for more than two seconds. There was no accounting for taste. I sure as hell wouldn't have picked me but they'd made up their minds. So they asked if they could keep me. Forever. I guess I was lucky to have them. I could have ended up being shuffled from place to place like Lyon had. Julian and Grace were older than most people's parents, could have easily been my grandparents, and were really traditional about a lot of things, like being properly dressed at the dining table. Don't get me wrong, I liked them a lot but, they weren't... It was just different. I couldn't call them _that_. Just couldn't. I think it bothered them a little but they didn't let it show.

We stopped at a red light. Lyon was probably staring at me so I kept my eyes resolutely on the view outside. "Sorry," he mumbled and the whole situation was incredibly awkward. So I flicked the radio on and decided to pretend like the whole thing hadn't happened.

* * *

The dorm was unusually quiet for a Saturday night. I guess everyone was busy revising or at least pretending to revise. Another two months or so and not only would exams be over, but both prom and graduation would be in the past. Two months. It didn't seem long yet it was all I had left of high school. The thought was exciting and depressing all at the same time. Tonight, though, was just another party.

One last look in the mirror and I climbed the stairs of the dorm to Levy's room, my heels dangling from my left hand. I liked living in the dorms. We had a lot of fun and the occasional moments of bitchy drama but I'd never had close girl friends before so both the good and the bad were a novelty to me. Upstairs, Levy's door was partially open and I could hear the quiet murmur of her voice. I peeked around the door.

Gajeel was sprawled across Levy's bed, for all appearances fast asleep, but Levy was sitting cross-legged next to him, reading out loud so I figured he must be awake. As I watched, Levy leaned forward and poked Gajeel's side, "Hey! Are you listening?"

"Yes. And no."

Levy frowned, "What's that supposed to mean?"

A rare smile crept across Gajeel's face, "I'm listening to the sound of your voice. No clue what you're talking about though."

Rather than annoy her, his reply made Levy blush. She set the textbook aside and shifted position until she was lying on her stomach next to him. "The sound of my voice alone won't help you pass the exam."

"Hmm."

"Ga-je-el," Levy said in a fake whine, "This is important."

"Hmm. I think you should kiss me."

"I think you should revise."

"I think a kiss would help."

"I think you're being ridiculous."

"Funny. I'm still thinking of that kiss."

"Fine! One kiss."

Even from the door I could tell her lips barely skimmed his cheek. "Is that it?" Gajeel demanded and Levy giggled. "Miss McGarden, I believe you're in desperate need of a revision lesson on kissing."

"Oh, so now _you're_ tutoring _me_?"

Gajeel's only response was to start his 'lesson'. I turned away from them and leaned against the wall. I was embarrassed. Not for them, for me. What was I doing? Following Gray around all year had turned me into a voyeur and a spectator in my own life. I was even spying on my best friend now. Cana was always telling me I had to get a life. Maybe she was right. I crept quietly back down the hall then made a big show of loudly dropping my shoes so by the time I got back to her door and asked Levy if I could come in, the scene in her room was perfectly innocent. Apart from Levy's blush, you'd never guess they'd been doing anything other than studying.

"Ready to go?" Gajeel asked, swinging his legs off the bed.

I patted my hair down. I'd made the decision to go all out tonight after my little almost argument with Gray yesterday. He wouldn't forget the way I looked tonight. "Juvia is ready."

* * *

"Get the fuck out of my house!"

"Alright, alright, we're going," I told Natsu. I was a little drunk so I didn't really care what he wanted. I might have turned eighteen a few months ago but, like most parents, Julian and Grace didn't really understand the concept of pre-drinking. Anyway it was more fun to meet up and get drunk together. Problem was, Lyon and I had started our night but Natsu was stone cold sober. And being boring. "It's fine. You've got time."

"Lucy will be here in twenty minutes. I actually bothered to clean up today. Not that anyone can tell because you guys came around and wrecked the place!" He gestured at the coffee table which was strewn with beer cans, a half empty bottle of vodka, and what was left of the coke.

I shrugged, "Why is she coming here anyway? Her apartment is much nicer."

"She just is! So make like a tree and leave."

I burst out laughing, "Are you twelve or something?" I hadn't heard that expression in such a long time.

"Let's just go," Lyon said shrugging on his jacket. "I'll come get my car tomorrow, Natsu."

"Yeah, sure, whatever, bye!" He all but slammed the door behind us.

I shoved my hands in my pockets and wandered down the front path, "Whatever happened to bros before hoes?"

"Uh, you have seen Lucy before right? I'd tell my friends to fuck off too."

It was the same thing I'd thought earlier but it didn't seem half as relevant now. I jerked my head to the right, "Risley's house is this way."

* * *

"This is the house?" Gajeel let out a low whistle, "Damn."

The house was impressive. It sat at the end of a long drive, its style distinctly modern. All sharp angles and walls of pristine glass. This was an exceptionally nice part of Magnolia, towards the outskirts of town where all the houses had massive gardens and the neighbours were far enough away to be almost forgotten. The party was already in full swing, light and music reaching down to where I'd asked Gajeel to stop. As I took off my helmet a group of giggling girls swarmed up the drive. They looked really young, probably only just the right side of sixteen. I felt a little overdressed compared to their skinny jeans and crop tops but it was too late to worry about it now. "Can you hold my bag a second. I need to change."

First things first. I took my hair out of the French braid. There'd been no point curling it when the helmet would only ruin the style. I used my fingers to fluff my hair out and was quietly pleased with the result. It framed my face in soft, effortless waves. Gajeel patiently waited while I checked my make up but when I reached for my leggings he started. "Whoa, you cannot just strip in public like that!"

"It's fine," I said kicking my sneakers off and removing the soft black leggings.

"That's a dress?" He looked aghast. "I thought it was a top."

"Yeah," I smoothed the fabric down and rested one hand on his shoulder to steady myself as I put on my heels.

"It's short."

"Yup."

"And tight."

"Wow Gajeel, your deductive skills would rival Sherlock."

He scowled at me, "Juvia..."

"Thanks for the ride." I shoved my discarded clothes and shoes into the bag, tossed my jacket on top and left him holding everything. There was a moment of quiet behind me, then Gajeel started up the bike and rode off. He wasn't the big brother, overprotective type. He didn't need to be. I more than knew how to take care of myself. I smiled at some random girls at the door. Jeez why were there so many girls here? Didn't this Risley person know any boys? Well, she knew at least one and he was the only one that mattered. I grabbed a cup of something off a table and immediately started looking for Gray-sama.

* * *

As I expected the place was rammed with girls. It was almost too easy. I already had four new numbers in my phone and it wasn't even midnight. I loved chicks from all girl schools. They were either freakishly innocent or they were whores. There didn't seem to be many in the space in between which worked for me because they were either down to fuck or they weren't. There was only one downside to a party like this...

"Oh my god. That girl I was just talking to," Lyon said to me. "In the black jeans and the pink top. You see her?"

I looked casually over his shoulder, "Yeah. What about her?"

"She's fourteen! Fourteen!"

"She looks way older than that."

"Exactly! That is so fucked up."

In my experience girls didn't seem to factor age into their friendships much and it didn't help that they seemed to grow up so fast. It wouldn't surprise me if Risley had simply sent a blanket invitation out to everyone she knew regardless of which grade they were in. It was all the same to her. "Look, avoid anyone wearing sneakers, ribbons in their hair or giggling with a group of their friends and you'll be alright."

"Sneakers? That's half the girls here."

"Exactly. Any girl old enough to go clubbing will own heels and wear them."

Lyon sighed, "I think you should add 'and be able to walk in them' to that list."

We both watched a pretty girl ruin all the effort she'd put into her make-up and wardrobe by wobbling her way across the patio. Her clumsiness was cute. In a little sister kind of way. "That's how I imagine Chelia being in heels," Lyon said.

"I think Chelia would break an ankle or her neck, or possibly both, within two seconds of putting on heels." Chelia was fourteen, clumsy to a degree only matched by Wendy and actually managed to both look and act her age. I only knew her because her older cousin was always hanging off Lyon much like Juvia hung around me. "Sherry still following you around?"

"No," Lyon said looking pleased. "She's chasing after some guy that goes to your school actually."

"Really?" Now there was an idea. Instead of ignoring Juvia, I could try setting her up with someone else. I shook my head. Why was I even thinking of that girl? She had nothing to do with me.

"Yeah. A few weeks ago we went to this open mic night and..."

"Lyon?" He just randomly trailed off and wasn't even looking at me anymore. I followed his line of sight trying to figure out what or who had caught his attention. There were too many people. It could have been anyone. I tried again, "Lyon?"

"Did you see that girl?"

I could barely hear his reverent whisper over the music. "There's a million girls here. You need to be more specific."

"The most beautiful one. She was... I... Just... Wow. I've got to go talk to her."

Interesting. I wanted to know who this girl was that had left Lyon virtually speechless. I trailed behind him as he made his way across the crowded patio and into the house. We passed through the open plan kitchen, grabbing fresh drinks on the way, wove our way through the overheated living room where an enthusiastic _Just Dance _competition was descending into chaos and exited into the foyer.

"Where'd she go? Man, you've got to help me. She was just so..."

I took one look at his expression and knew he was whipped. By a girl he hadn't even met yet. What the fuck? If a girl that beautiful was wandering around here then I definitely wanted to at least see her. "Describe her to me."

"She's wearing a strapless blue dress and heels. She's got killer legs. Beautiful pale skin. Her hair is loose and wavy to her shoulders. I have to find that girl."

People were streaming in and out of the open front door, forcing us to stand on the side. In a house this big, with everyone wandering around, it'd take forever to find one girl. I was going to tell Lyon that when he gripped my arm and shook me, "There! Right there!"

This time it was immediately obvious who he was talking about.

* * *

"Juvia! I love your dress!"

"Thanks, Millianna. Those cat ears are cute. What are you guys doing here?" I was trying to go upstairs but everyone had come to a standstill. By some strange coincidence Meredy and Millianna were squished onto the step below mine. Meredy lived with Jellal and Millianna was good friends with Erza. Most of my friends considered them as little sisters.

"Risley goes to my school," said Millianna.

"And Millianna invited me," Meredy added, her hand sliding into mine and squeezing, "But you absolutely cannot tell Jellal you saw us here."

"Why?"

"Well, I told Ultear I was staying at Millianna's house to revise and Millianna told her parents she was sleeping over at mine to revise and, as you can see, we're here instead!"

"Ah. Got it. You're sneaking out. Don't get into any trouble okay?" I could understand wanting to have fun and, unlike Gajeel, Jellal was definitely the overprotective older brother type but I'd feel bad if anything happened to either of them. They were safe enough at a house party full of girls they, or at least Millianna, knew. "Has Meredy seen Gray-sama?"

Meredy choked on a sip of her drink, "He's here? Oh my god! He cannot see me! I'm toast if he tells Ultear. Excuse us!" She forced her way past the other people on the stairs and since she was holding my hand I was dragged along with her.

* * *

Lyon's mystery girl was standing three-quarters of the way up the stairs. All I could see of her were her legs, which true to Lyon's description, were indeed killer. The combination of high heels and short dress made them seem endless. She probably could have been a model. "Is her face pretty?"

"God, yes. I'm going to talk to her."

"Wait up a second."

Lyon glared at me, "I saw her first. Pick someone else."

"Relax. You can have her," I said, even though I was secretly annoyed that he had spotted her first. The girl half turned to say something to one of her friends, showing off more of her amazing figure. I could just imagine peeling that tight dress off those curves, running my hands over those thighs. Damn. Who was that girl?

"You can have one of her friends," Lyon said, putting me firmly in my place as wingman.

"Her friends..." I narrowed my eyes at the figures disappearing upstairs. "Hold up. I know those two girls."

* * *

Meredy dragged me outside onto the balcony with Millianna fast on our heels. They both looked anxiously around. I figured three sets of eyes looking for Gray-sama were better than one, even if our reactions to seeing him would be completely different. From up here I had a good view of everyone on the patio below but it took only a few seconds to realise Gray-sama wasn't there. I'd already been at this stupid party for an hour. How was I supposed to find him? There were people literally everywhere. I leaned against the balcony and sighed. All that effort getting dressed up and I couldn't find the one person I wanted to impress.

Next to me, Meredy's phone was ringing. She looked at the screen and groaned, "It's Gray. He never calls me. He must have seen me. I'm so screwed."

"Gray-sama?" Why the hell wasn't she answering then? "Juvia will talk to him."

Meredy brightened immediately, "Arigato onee-san."

Apparently I'd been promoted to sister status. "Hello?"

* * *

I was confused for a fraction of a heartbeat, "You?"

"Gray-sama! Hi, Juvia has been looking for you. Where are you?"

I felt a flicker of irritation, "Why the hell are you here?"

"Juvia is watching over Meredy and Millianna so they don't get into trouble. Don't worry. They're fine. Does Gray-sama want to come meet Juvia, uh Juvia means, us?"

I had to hand it to her. The girl was good. She always turned up wherever I was no matter how hard I tried to keep my plans a secret. "Where are you? Do you know that girl with Meredy?"

She sounded far too excited, "Upstairs on the balcony. Millianna?"

"No, the other girl. The hot one."

"Gray-sama..."

That one little comment had her voice filling with disappointment. It was cruel but it felt kind of good to annoy her. She needed to understand that I wasn't at all into her. "Stay where you are. We'll be there in a minute."

"Wait! Don't hang up. Juvia brought a new dress and thinks you'll like it, Gray-sama."

"Uh huh." I led the way up the stairs. Lyon was going crazy next to me like every second away from his dream girl was killing him. I'd let him have a chance with her first but if she shot him down then all bets were off. "Left or right?"

"Go left and straight down the hall. Gray-sama, you know Juvia-"

"Not here, not now Juvia. Give it a rest. Harass me on Monday, if you must, but I'm planning on going home with a new girl tonight and it won't be you."

Silence. A short sharp breath. She obviously didn't know what to say. That might have been a little too harsh. I felt bad. I didn't really want to hurt her. She was a nice girl and in my group of friends. She just needed to get the fuck over me. Lyon and I reached the end of the hall and a welcome rush of fresh air came through the open sliding glass door. There was Meredy, Millianna and the mystery girl leaning on the railing with her back to us. I felt a rush of desire. She had a tiny waist and a classic hourglass shape. Why the hell hadn't I noticed her first? "I thought you said you were with Meredy and Millianna?"

"Juvia is."

"Where? I'm looking right at them."

The hot mystery girl turned around. Familiar blue eyes looked at me with a mixture of sadness and pleasure. My phone slipped from my numb fingers and clattered to the ground. This could not be fucking happening. I blinked but the face didn't change.

Fuck my life.

"Juvia?"


	4. Complicated Love Shapes

_A/N: Lyon's eye colour is something of a mystery to me so I chose brown. Just go with it. _

_I do not own Fairy Tail._

_Chapter Three – Complicated Love Shapes_

There was something wrong with me. I must be drunk. No, that was a lie. I might have been tipsy but definitely not drunk enough to make this kind of epic mistake. _Juvia? _The mysterious hot girl was her? Oh god. I must be ill. A brain tumour maybe or temporary blindness. Mavis help me. Fuck. Was I dreaming? I pinched my arm. It hurt. I blinked. Juvia was still standing there. In _that _dress and _those _heels. Did she have a twin? No, Meredy's phone was still in her hand. Juvia and the hot girl were the same fucking person. How did something this messed up manage to happen to me? My brain felt like it'd been put through a blender. A snowstorm of thoughts were swirling around in there but I couldn't make sense of a single thing. It did occur to me that my mouth was hanging open so I snapped it shut and bent down to retrieve my phone.

* * *

Gray-sama seemed really surprised to see me. I ran my hands over my dress. He mostly saw me in our school uniform. Was I that unrecognisable? Maybe he hated the dress? Was it too much? No way. I definitely looked good tonight. Was he pleasantly surprised? That'd be perfect if it was true. Maybe I'd finally managed to make an impression on him. I handed Meredy's phone back to her and she sent me a grateful smile. As it was, I felt like I should have been grateful to her. I didn't quite understand her relationship to Gray but he sure as hell wouldn't have been ringing my number if he saw me across the room at a party. Yet here he was. Taking forever to pick up his phone. Weird.

* * *

I took a few deep breaths and tried to get over the shock. The sensation was like receiving one of Erza's punches. Disorienting and painful. Of course I knew Juvia was pretty. I saw her every day, way more than I wanted to really, but had I truly looked at her since that first day of school? Obviously not, if I couldn't even recognise her in heels and a dress. One hell of a dress. It was sinfully tight. Absolutely nothing was left to the imagination. Was she wearing anything under that? Oh man, the mental images that thought brought to me. Fuck, fuck, fuck! I'd taught myself not to see Juvia that way and the whole process was coming unravelled in seconds. What the hell was going on with me?

A pair of heels appeared in my line of sight and I made the rookie mistake of looking up. Having just had the entirely inappropriate thought of whether Juvia was the kind of girl to rock up to parties commando or not, the new angle of those perfect legs had my mouth going dry. Hot damn. What I wouldn't give to undo seeing Juvia like this. Against my will and better judgement, she was having the most potent affect on my body. I couldn't even begin to control it. Her mouth was moving. I forced my brain to restart, "Sorry. What?"

* * *

"Gray-sama, are you okay?" I repeated. He was being completely spacey and not like himself at all. "Did you break your phone just now?"

He looked blankly between me and his phone, "Oh, uh, no. Juvia?"

"Yes, Gray-sama?"

He swore softly, "So it _is _you."

I tilted my head to the side and gazed down at him. What a bizarre thing to say. Who did he think I was? So strange. I crouched down in front of him and laid my hand on his forehead. Maybe he was sick.

* * *

I forced my gaze off Juvia's thighs and tried concentrating on her face. No good. The curse of seeing Juvia as a real girl was still on me. She had pretty deep blue eyes. Her lips looked soft... "Does Gray-sama feel okay?" she asked and I could smell her perfume on the inside of her wrist. Fresh rain. I'd forgotten that. Or gotten use to it. I felt a crazy, intense urge to kiss her and knew I was in serious trouble.

I wasn't a player. I just didn't see a problem with getting with a girl I thought was pretty. _Any_ girl I thought was pretty. I didn't mess them around. They always knew it was a temporary, physical thing. Problem was, right now, I was finding Juvia way more than merely 'pretty'. I needed to get a grip. I reminded myself that surely this too was only temporary. Any second now my brain would catch up, take control and put an end to this ridiculous yearning I was having for the one girl in the world I never expected to feel this way about.

"Gray-sama doesn't have a fever," she was saying.

"I'm fine. You surprised me that's all." At least I was back to using full sentences.

"Was it the dress? Do you like it?" Her hand dropped away from my forehead and came to rest on the hem of the dress. I couldn't help but follow the movement. Her skin was like milk. Flawless. It looked so soft. I ached to touch her. My fingers twitched. I needed to get away from this girl _now _before I did something regrettable. Like haul her off into Risley's bedroom and find out one way or another exactly what she had under that dress, if anything.

* * *

Gray-sama stood up so fast that he startled me. I'd been resting back on my heels but now my centre of gravity had shifted and I found myself tipping backwards. I had a horrible image of me sprawled on my ass in front of Gray-sama in this teeny tiny dress. Not a good look. I reached out and for an awful moment there was only air, then strong hands were gripping mine, holding me steady before pulling me smoothly upwards. I recognised the dark brown eyes that were gazing intently into mine. I racked my mind for the boy's name but it wouldn't come to me. Not surprising, considering we had never been properly introduced. I'd seen him often with Gray-sama, of course I wasn't meant to be there so I'd made sure they hadn't seen me. They went paintballing together, to the movies, kicked around a football for an afternoon. Sometimes they didn't seem to do anything but play video games and fight with each other all weekend. Or they went out and picked up girls together which I really hated but it wasn't like I could stop Gray from ever speaking to any other girls. Actually, now that I thought of it, the two of them were constantly stealing time to be together. On weekends, bank holidays, school breaks. Like secret lovers.

Whoa.

The boy was still holding my hands so I couldn't be falling but somehow my entire world was tilting. I'd just had a revelation and not the good kind. Gray-sama never formed any kind of permanent attachment to the girls he went out with. They were there one weekend and gone the next, with few exceptions. But this boy, this boy...

Oh. My. God.

The grip on my hands tightened and I stood frozen, stunned with all I'd just realised. Then the boy looked right in my eyes and said something that literally blew my mind.

"Is this what it means to fall in love at first sight?"

* * *

Lyon had just said the stupidest thing I'd ever heard and with a completely straight face at that. In the midst of my personal meltdown, I'd completely forgotten about him, never mind his obsession with finding the mysterious hot girl. Which was Juvia. I was still having problems adjusting to that but Lyon had gone from zero to one hundred in a matter of seconds. Love at first sight? If that was meant to be a pickup line, it was a terrible one. Thing was, he looked genuine. Or as genuine as you could, professing your love to someone who's name you didn't even know.

Juvia's eyes darted frantically between Lyon and I. I could practically see her drawing all kinds of twisted conclusions. I shut my eyes and couldn't help mumbling, "This could get complicated."

* * *

"Eh?!" Complicated? Gray-sama thought this was complicated? That had to be the biggest understatement ever. I loved Gray. So did half the girls I knew or at the very least they were attracted to him. That wasn't really the issue. I could deal with other women. Gray liking the guy who just confessed to me out of nowhere was a huge problem. How was I supposed to compete with that? "Gray-sama!" I wailed. A love triangle! Could things get any _more_ complicated?

"You two know each other?" The boy was still holding my hands and showed no sign of wanting to let go.

"Lyon, Juvia. Juvia, Lyon." Gray said. He moved until he was leaning on the railing with his back to us. He probably didn't want to see us holding hands. I tugged uselessly but Lyon's grip only tightened more.

"It's not what you think!" I cried at the same time that Lyon said, "Juvia? That girl you're always complaining about?" He had the good grace to look embarrassed by his outburst but all I could think was that Gray-sama talked about me to other people when I wasn't around. That was a good sign right?

* * *

I didn't need to turn around to know that Lyon would be giving me a strange look. He probably couldn't understand how I firstly, hadn't recognised my own stalker and secondly, had never told him she was hot. I couldn't fucking explain it either. Behind me Lyon had switched focus and was talking all kinds of crap to Juvia about how beautiful she was. The words 'gorgeous', 'angel' and 'love' were flying around like a Valentine's day planning meeting for the card writers at Hallmark. Dude was straight tripping. Equally annoying was Juvia's reaction. Poor girl didn't have a clue what to say in the face of Lyon's gushing other than 'ano ne' and 'eto'. He was coming on way too strong. It was vaguely amusing to me because it felt like she was getting a dose of her own medicine. Maybe now she'd know how it felt to be the focus of someone's intense unwanted feelings. I didn't doubt that Lyon's attention was unwanted. Juvia was so into me it was like other men didn't even exist. He could recite a million love poems. It'd be a waste of words and breath. She would never be his.

"Gray-sama..." She said for the third or fourth time and I relented a little. Annoying or not she was still a schoolmate and part of my circle of friends. Plus I'd be a horrible friend if I didn't let Lyon know he was barking up the wrong tree. "Alright, alright. Enough of that. You're traumatising the girl and making me nauseous," I interrupted Lyon and wrapped one arm around Juvia's waist to pull her away from him. She couldn't disguise her look of total relief nor could he hide his disappointment. I could only hope that my new found interest in her body wasn't quite so obvious. I nudged her in the direction of Meredy, careful to keep my eyes on hers and resist the urge to pull her to my side. "You're supposedly watching them right? So go watch." She fled gratefully across the balcony and despite my best intentions I couldn't resist watching her walk away.

"You're looking at my girlfriend's ass," Lyon said bluntly.

"Oh fuck off. She is not your girlfriend and no, I wasn't." I totally had been.

"You moaned all year about that total hottie following you around? I always knew you were mentally unstable."

"She doesn't look like that at school," I said defensively. That was probably a lie. I just didn't look at her this way at school. "Anyway, she's crazy. Like proper crazy. I've told you about her."

"You neglected to mention a lot of rather important things. She's amazing, so sweet and innocent." A dopey grin spread across his face. "I'm going to wife that someday."

I groaned, "Okay, you're both crazy. Could be a match made in heaven but trust me, she isn't interested in you and never will be. That girl thinks the world revolves around me."

"Hmm, so her only bad trait is terrible choice in men. I can fix that."

I took a good look at him and realised he couldn't be reasoned with. He'd fallen hard and there was no cure for that. Hell, maybe, if I was lucky, he'd actually manage the impossible and get her to return his feelings. I risked a glance in Juvia's direction. I still found her insanely attractive. When the hell was this going to wear off? I needed something, or better yet someone, to distract me from these twisted thoughts. I scanned the party below, searching for a girl I could lose myself in, but my eyes kept returning to one place only.

* * *

"I can't believe he just came out and said it. Just like that," Millianna said, shaking her head in amusement. "Way to go Juvia."

"Juvia is not happy about this." The only emotion I could link to being confessed to in that fashion was anxiety. "Juvia doesn't want to be in a love triangle."

Meredy gave me a strange look, "You're not in one. It's more like... a love conga line. But even that's wrong because the only person Gray loves is himself so he's off in his own little love circle with you chasing him and Lyon chasing you. You'd be better off forgetting Gray and hooking up with Lyon."

"Datte, Juvia doesn't want anyone but Gray-sama."

This statement triggered rolling eyes from both girls. "Reality check. Gray doesn't have girlfriends. He has notches in his bedpost," Meredy said.

"Harsh," Millianna winced.

"But true," Meredy added and took a gulp of her drink.

"You shouldn't talk that way about Gray-sama. He's like your brother right?" It was a hunch more than anything. I'd been living in Magnolia for almost the entire school year but still couldn't make heads or tails of the complicated mess of relationships between my friends. Jellal was definitely Meredy's brother, even though they weren't blood related. She called him onii-san at school, not sempai, and he flipped into full on 'Dad'-mode if she mentioned any boys. To seal the deal they lived in the same house with Ultear. I didn't think she was literally related to either of them and seemed to fall halfway between older sister and mother to both of them. Just those three people were complicated enough but both Lyon and Gray spent a lot of time at that house too. Erza once told me that Lyon and Gray used to live there but that was before Jellal or Meredy did. Like what the hell? I guess if you were an orphan you got shuffled around a lot but when you added all the stories together the overlap was a bit much. How did anyone keep track of who was what to who?

Meredy burst out laughing, "Brother?" Oh god no! Jellal-nii-san is the only brother I have. Lyon and Gray are like... distant older cousins. At least to me. Ultear probably thinks differently."

"Didn't you use to hate them?" Millianna was leaning dangerously far over the balcony and I had to resist the urge to pull her back.

"Yup. It was like Mortal Combat every time they came around the house. Just, you know, family drama with Ultear and what not because of what happened..." She trailed off and I wanted to ask but knew it wouldn't be polite since it was clearly not something she wanted to go into. "We're cool now but I won't ever be as close to them as I am to Jellal. Jellal is different." Her face split into a huge grin, her affection for him written clearly in her expression.

"Hmm, Jellal-nii-san is really cool," Millianna agreed. She giggled, "I asked Erza-nee-san if I could be a bridesmaid when they got married and she blushed so much! It was funny."

"They're so cute. I wish they'd make their relationship official. They're always sneaking around. I mean seriously, they are _all _over each other _all_ the time and constantly denying that they're more than friends when it's so obvious they're in love."

Millianna nodded vigorously, "I know. Why- Oh no!" Her cat ears slipped off her head and she reflexively reached for them but she was already leaning so far over the railing...

* * *

My fingers looped into the back of Millianna's shorts just in time. There was a sickening moment where her weight was counterbalanced against mine and time seemed to stop. Then her feet found the floor and the instantaneous panic was replaced with relief. "Are you out of your mind?" I yelled at her but she'd badly scared herself and clung to me, burying her face into my chest. I'd been watching her, okay, watching Juvia but that was hardly the point, leaning further and further out over the edge of the balcony until she was balancing precariously on her tiptoes. Then she'd practically thrown herself off the second floor for a furry accessory. "Silly girl. Think about what you're doing."

She mumbled something, probably an apology, that I couldn't hear but could feel as her warm breath tickled my bare skin. Where the hell had my shirt gone? Typical. Everyone crowded around, asking if she was okay. I patted her back and she relaxed enough to turn her head and say, "I thought I was going to die!"

"So did I!" I snapped, still half-angry with her.

"Thanks for saving me Gray-sempai." She looked up at me, tear drops dampening her lashes.

I froze. "Please don't cry." I could not stand tears. It was the ultimate weapon in a woman's arsenal and completely slayed me every time. That easily made crying near the top of the list of reasons why I didn't have a girlfriend. I was not the shoulder to cry on type.

"I can't help it," she managed to choke out. "I was so scared."

I ruffled her hair, "But I caught you. You're fine. So don't." But her lower lip trembled and I figured I had about thirty seconds before I would be willing to sell my soul to get her to quit it with the waterworks. I grasped for something, anything, to distract her, "We should go find your car ears before they disappear."

That did it. Millianna let out a tiny gasp, her hands reflexively reaching for her head. "I have to get my ears!"

"I'll help you," Meredy said, intertwining her fingers with Millianna's as she squirmed out of my arms, fear replaced with a new sense of loss. "Sorry to ask but it'd be great if you didn't mention seeing us here, Gray."

The two girls glanced at each other nervously when I didn't respond straight away. "Please?" They chimed in perfect unison, eyes wide and innocent like they weren't drinking under-age and at a party when we all knew they should have been at home doing their homework or something.

Honestly, kids these days...

"See who?" Jellal probably would have marched them both straight home but that wasn't my style. "Do me a favour and don't leap off any more second floor balconies. I don't have a hero complex."

Meredy leaned up and kissed my cheek, "You're the best!"

"Yeah, yeah. Beat it before I change my mind."

* * *

My heart had literally been in my throat. I'd been standing inches from Millianna but my brain couldn't react fast enough to what was happening. Which was completely unlike me. Those kind of slow reactions were what got you beaten up at my old school. The people I used to know would probably laugh at how soft I'd become. "Gray-sama that was really cool."

"You think so? I thought I was going to have a heart attack." He ran a hand casually through his hair and it'd be another few moments before I could get my pulse to return to normal. He liked to play it down but Gray was one of the most loyal, trustworthy guys I knew. His friends were his life. Nothing was too much for anyone he cared about. The callous _I-don't-give-a-damn_ attitude was just an act. He had a reputation for sleeping around but not for breaking hearts. I wasn't so naive or blinded by jealousy as to not see the difference. He wasn't a bastard and I guess that's why, despite everything, I still loved him.

Millianna and Meredy were stepping back into the house and the balcony was all but deserted. I turned to Lyon and told a tiny white lie, "Would you go with them? Juvia is worried about them." It wasn't completely untrue but my motives were impure. I wanted to be alone with Gray-sama.

Lyon took my hand and kissed it, his lips lingering that second too long. Awkward. "Anything for you, ma chéri." Oh dear, it was from the wrong guy but heat still managed to flood my cheeks. A convoluted and complex image of various love connections formed behind my eyes. Meredy was right. Triangle was way too simple of a shape for what was going on.

* * *

It might have been my imagination but I swear down Juvia had just hustled Lyon into leaving us alone on this balcony. She probably hadn't realised she'd done it though. That slight blush, the way she blinked at him, a small enchanting smile to seal the deal. The perfect damsel in distress. He went off content to be doing something for her, none the wiser to having been played. In any other girl I would have thought she had good game. Yet, Juvia was too innocent for that kind of trick. Right?

The music was loud. Some old school R&amp;B track I vaguely remembered the lyrics to was playing. Something about falling in love with a stripper. I wasn't really listening. The rise and fall of a multitude of voices and bursts of laughter from below us faded away to nothing. Because I was standing alone on a balcony with a hot girl and there was nowhere left for me to look but right at her.

Apparently my mind had given up on adding gorgeous legs to familiar face to equal Juvia. I knew it was her but it was almost like being in a dream. It was too surreal. I watched her raise a hand to tuck some of her hair behind one ear. The bracelets on her wrist jangled softly. Slowly, one by one, all the finer details that I'd initially missed were becoming clear to me. The facts were undeniable.

Juvia was a beautiful girl.

* * *

Gray-sama was staring at me again. I blushed harder as his eyes ran slowly over me. From his expression, it was like he was seeing me for the first time, and maybe he was. I stayed silent, conscious of my seemingly infallible ability to ruin good moods. When he finally spoke I was too surprised to formulate an answer.

"Were you always this pretty?"

* * *

It was a genuine question. I could remember being attracted to her on the first day of school but surely I couldn't have ignored her so much as to completely discount everything appealing about her. I suppose her bizarre habit of following me around had cancelled out any physical attraction I'd felt for her. I walked a slow circle around Juvia. Her blush deepened and I was tempted to explore how much she would let me get away with. "You changed something, didn't you." It was meant to be a question but it came out sounding like an accusation.

"G-Gray-sama, Juvia is not wearing her school uniform and Juvia also changed her hair a little bit. Doesn't Gray-sama like it?"

She was nervous, her voice wavering on my name. I couldn't resist playing a game with her. "Hmm. No."

* * *

Absolute worst nightmare come true. "Really?" I'd never looked better than I did tonight and he still didn't like me? I couldn't help feeling dismayed and more than a little defeated. How could he infer that I was pretty in one breath yet still deny liking the way I looked in the very next one? That didn't make any sense.

"Yeah. You don't look like yourself. It's all wrong."

"Gray-sama-"

"Like this," he said and twirled a strand of my hair around one finger. "Is your hair naturally straight or curly or what? Make up your mind."

I bit my lip, "It's naturally wavy but..."

"Then leave it wavy. Stop throwing me off."

"Okay."

"And this dress is... distracting."

"Distracting?"

"You're such an airhead sometimes. It's obviously," he put both his hands on my waist and squeezed gently, "Too tight. Some guy might get ideas."

Gray-sama pulled me towards him until our hips bumped. Reflexively my hands landed on his shoulders and I felt that rush of excitement from being so close to him. His voice was a low whisper by my ear, "I might get ideas."

I think I stopped breathing.

Gray-sama was flirting with me.

With me. Not some random girl. Not some half-teasing moment in the cafeteria at school. Properly flirting with me like I was one of the girls he'd chosen to hook up with.

My brain wasn't getting enough oxygen to process thoughts fast enough to think of a response so I just stood there while his hands skimmed over my hips and down my thighs. Of course it didn't take long for his hands to run out of dress and reach bare skin. His gentle caress sent tendrils of fire racing straight to my core. I leaned into him and arched my back. He was holding me, finally, and if felt amazing.

* * *

What the hell was I doing? Some part of me wanted to stop but it was swiftly shouted down by the part of me that recognised that Juvia's skin was even softer than it looked. I was assaulted with the sensation of her, so warm and supple in my arms. Before I could even think about it, I was spinning us around, pushing her up against the wall and nuzzling her neck. A lot of girls wore perfume but none of them were quite like this. That sense of yearning was back, stronger than ever. This balcony wasn't anywhere near private enough for what I wanted to do to this girl.

"And it's too short. See," I let my thumbs slide under the hem of her dress and Juvia's breath caught in her throat. I was getting way too much amusement out of teasing her but I couldn't seem to stop. One kiss on her neck had her tilting her head to the side, an unspoken plea for more. I paused, my lips the tiniest fraction away from her skin, "Don't you have anything to say?"

"Oh... umm... Gray-sama?"

I pulled away from her. She was so confused. It was cute. "No one told you to look this damn good. I think you should apologise to me." I watched her lick her lips and could only wonder what she'd taste like.

"Juvia is sorry...?"

I nipped her bottom lip, not quite a kiss but damn close. We were heading for dangerous, uncharted territory in our previously platonic relationship. "Say it like you mean it."

The demand was like flipping a switch. Gone was the soft girl who was letting me feel her up on a shadowy balcony. This girl looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Gray-sama, do you want to punish Juvia?"

Hold up. Things had just taken a turn for the bizarre. There was a dark, hungry look on Juvia's face that said she'd probably enjoy it a little too much if I did punish her and just like that I was back to seeing Juvia as Juvia.

* * *

"What?"

"Do you want to-"

"I fucking heard you the first time. Calm the hell down. Why'd you even have to go there?"

He pushed off the wall and suddenly there was a chasm between us so much greater than the actual two feet. "Juvia wouldn't mind. Gray-sama could spank-"

"Whoa! I am _not _into that! Oh god," he pressed his hands against his ears, "Save me from virgins with over-active imaginations who think they know shit about sex."

Okay, this was going classically wrong. What had I said? "What? What did Juvia say wrong?"

"Don't 'what?' me. Look, Juvia, I'm really drunk. Just forget the last five minutes. I didn't mean none of that shit."

First off, I'd seen Gray drunk. He might not have been sober tonight but he sure as hell knew what he was doing. I recognised a cop out when I heard one. Secondly, _didn't mean none_? A double negative. So... He had meant it? Of course he meant it. I'd seen that look in his eyes and, despite his insistence to the contrary, I wasn't as innocent as he thought. I couldn't be misinterpreting the sparks flying between us. I'd had him right where I wanted him. Only now he was slipping through my fingers like silk. "Juvia is sorry. Really." I didn't know what to do, other than backtrack to the moment when everything started going wrong.

He sighed, "It's not you." Which every girl knew meant the complete opposite. "I just need to stay away from all of that," Gray-sama gestured vaguely in my direction. _That? _What? I didn't get it. He wasn't even looking at me any more.

* * *

Apparently craziness was contagious. In one night Juvia had managed to infect not only Lyon, but me, with her own particular brand of madness. I don't know what his excuse was but I knew that if not for that dress she wouldn't have gotten more than a passing glance from me. That blue swath of clingy fabric was poison for sure but fortunately I knew the cure. I turned sharply and walked away from her. The quicker I got Juvia out of my system the better.

I heard Juvia's footsteps trailing behind me and I could easily visualise the sexy way she walked in those heels. She was in my head now, in the worst possible way. I just wanted to forget her. Was desperate to forget the way she looked tonight. Back in the hallway a familiar pair of violet eyes met mine. The girl kept walking down the hall towards me, while from the fingers of one hand dangled my shirt, "I knew it was you. You're the only guy I'd know who'd throw his clothes off a balcony."

I grinned. She looked nothing like Juvia. Different eyes, different hair, different skin. They were as different as day and night. What better antidote?

She held my shirt out to me. I ignored it and grabbed her wrist instead. Seconds later we were kissing. Her surprise was obvious. A natural reaction considering I hadn't even said hello before putting my tongue in her mouth. I belatedly wondered if she might have gotten a boyfriend in the months that we hadn't seen each other and if I could expect nothing more than a slap from this, then she was kissing me back and the thought was gone. Good because I didn't want to have to think at all.

* * *

What. The. Fuck.

Two seconds after coming on to me Gray-sama was making out with some random bitch. Just who the fuck was this girl? I'd never seen her before in my life. Usually I felt dismayed when Gray went off with some other girl but right now I only felt irritated. Had he just been messing with me? That was too cruel. Even for him.

* * *

"Whoa. Uh, hi! For someone who never called me, sure seems like you missed me," the girl said when she could finally take a breath.

"You never called me either."

"Yeah, well, I'm busy."

"Are you busy right now?"

She gave me an appreciative look, "I guess I could spare some time after a greeting like that."

"Great. Want to dance?"

"Do you even need to ask?"

I laughed. That was a stupid question. When did this girl ever _not _want to dance? I let my hand rest on her exposed lower back, thankful to whatever fashion designer had thought up halter tops. Her skin was soft too but tanned, not creamy and pale. I half-listened as she launched into everything she'd been up to for the last year or so. Her hair was shoulder length but dark purple and perfectly straight. Figure wise I guess the two girls were equals. Still, with the perfect solution to my problems tucked snugly against my side, I couldn't resist looking back.

Mistake.

Juvia looked angry as hell. It was not an emotion I'd ever associated with her. She always seemed to take whatever I dished out to her with a degree of long suffering that would have been admirable if it wasn't so annoying. This anger from her felt weird. She was supposed to love me no matter what right?

Wait. That was dumb. I didn't want her to even _like_ me at all so she could get as angry as she damn well pleased. It wasn't like I cared.

But it was undeniably strange. For some reason, faced with the reality of her falling out of love with me because I'd pushed her that little bit too far, I felt profoundly uncomfortable.

We reached to landing and turned to head down the stairs. "Who's that girl? She's trying to kill us with her eyes."

Juvia hadn't moved from the doorway that lead to the balcony. Even pissed off she was still a sight to behold. I felt that flash of attraction and forced it down. It might have been coincidence or it could have been fate but when I replied it was into that tiny moment right between the end of one song and the start of the next. I wasn't expecting it so my voice came out unnaturally loud in the sudden quiet, carrying right down the hallway.

"Nobody. She's nobody."

It took a heartbeat but Juvia's face crumpled from steely anger into that pathetic _I wish that girl was me _look I was use to.

And as I walked off with another girl, I couldn't help feeling relieved that she was still so into me. How fucked up was that?


	5. Favourite Love Rival

_A/N: This chapter contains a few short flashbacks. The girl with Gray isn't an OC. She's from the OVA Memory Days. _

_Also, thanks to everyone who has written a review. _

_I do not own Fairy Tail._

_Chapter Four - Favourite Love Rival_

Sometimes this place was busy and hectic, fuelled by adrenaline and the drive to win. Once in a while it would get so intense that my heart would feel like it was about to stop and my lungs would burn from pushing myself too hard. This morning was not one of those times. No, it was cool, dark and quiet down here, which suited my frame of mind. I didn't want to race anyone. I just wanted to take one smooth stroke after another and forget the world existed. I reached the end of the lap and executed a lazy flip turn. My feet hit the side of the pool, pushed off effortlessly and I was ready for lap sixteen, or maybe seventeen. I wasn't really counting because I would keep going until enough was enough. I couldn't say when that would be but with so much to think about I'd probably be here awhile.

Apart from me, the school pool was deserted. I wasn't surprised. Dawn on a Sunday was not set aside as training time for the team or designated as being open to the public. This solitary, quiet time was what I craved though. Sometimes a girl needed to be alone in her head with her own thoughts. Especially after last night.

Last night had been a lot of firsts for me. The first time Gray-sama had shown any kind of interest in me, albeit very short lived. My first taste of what it'd be like to be in a relationship with him, which could be summed up in one word - Wonderful. The first time I'd looked at Gray-sama and felt anything but love... No, that was wrong. There was no way I'd ever be angry at him for leading me on. I'd just been so annoyed at that girl showing up out of nowhere and stealing my Gray-sama away that the feeling ended up being misplaced. I think... What was her problem anyway? Even now, the thought had me picking up the pace and driving hard for the last few meters to the wall. I forced myself to slow down. Right arm, left arm, right arm, breathe. Steady. Controlled. No need to lose it over some whore.

Standing there at Risley's party, having gone from the focus of Gray's temporary desire to being 'nothing' had shook my confidence more than I would have liked. He'd caught me off guard, pulled on the strings of my heart and then left me stranded in a sea of complex emotions, feeling like the punchline of a bad joke. So there'd been another first. I'd chosen to avoid torturing myself watching him flirt with another girl like I normally would and decided to go home instead. Well, not home. The girls had been blowing up my phone for awhile with texts inviting me to Cana's house. I'd said I was busy but since I clearly wasn't...

_I rang Gajeel, half expecting to not get a reply since he was probably "revising" with Levy. To my surprise he answered on the second ring. "Hey."_

_"Hey, Gajeel-kun. Could you give Juvia a ride to-"_

_"Cana's house? Jellal must have really fucked up."_

_"What?"_

_"I had to drop Levy there too. Totally fucked up our plans for tonight. Something about Jellal being an idiot but I wasn't about to get into details, not once she pulled that stupid love movie off the shelf. You probably know more about it than I do."_

_Stupid love movie? Jellal? I really regretted not reading all the way through those texts. "Yeah, so could you?"_

_"Sure. I'll be there in ten."_

_"That fast?"_

_"I'm at Natsu's. Got nothing better to do. He's pretty pissed that Lucy skipped out on him. Won't quit moaning."_

_Natsu was like a kid with candy when it came to Lucy. That was understandable. Lucy-san was bright and funny and an all around great girl. Less understandable was how Natsu's ramshackle house shared a postcode with virtual mansions like Risley's house. I guess it was set back from the road and surrounded by so many trees that most people didn't realise it was there. The odd one out. Strangely suiting to Natsu-san. "Thank you, Gajeel-kun."_

_"Hey," he dropped his voice down a level and I had to strain to hear him over the music, "You could always go back to using your bike. I've been keeping it in really good condition."_

My motorcycle. I executed another flip turn and changed to the back stroke. It'd been so long since I'd seen it, never mind rode it. I couldn't though. Unlike Gajeel's rather innocuous black bike, mine had distinctive bodywork, instantly recognisable by anyone from the wrong side of town. Gajeel had offered to re-spray it for me months ago but I'd turned him down. I couldn't say why. I'd ripped away every shred of my old life but for some reason I couldn't let that go. It was nice to know that Gajeel was at least keeping it well maintained and cared for.

I passed the string of brightly coloured flags that let me know I was approaching the end of another length. My fingertips grazed the wall. What number was this? Twenty eight? Flip turn, deep breath, more. My muscles weren't burning yet. The ceiling above me was strung with pendants and banners. Magnolia High was a powerhouse of sport, consistently bringing home national titles from archery right through to wrestling. I wondered if Gray-sama knew, or even cared, that one of those up there was mine.

I'd always had a natural affinity for water. Swimming was easy for me in a way that a lot of things weren't. Things like making friends with girls. Or anyone. True to his word Gajeel dropped me at Cana's within half an hour of my call. I'd walked into the middle of the impromptu slumber party to be met with a pretty shocking realisation. Jellal and Erza really _weren't _dating.

_"Wait. So... all this time Jellal hasn't been Erza-san's boyfriend? But Juvia thought..."_

_"That's what everyone thinks," Cana said. We were in her bedroom. Cana, Lucy and Erza were sitting with their backs against the massive bed. Levy was sitting cross legged in the middle of the rug and I'd stretched out on my stomach next to her to complete a misshapen circle on Cana's bedroom floor. It would have been just as easy for us to hang out at the dorm but inevitably the younger girls would want to get involved so whenever we wanted to talk about guys or simply hang out without censoring ourselves we came to Cana's. Her dad was never home but the house was always stocked up with enough food to survive a zombie apocalypse. And of course, this being Cana's house, enough alcohol to fuel an epic party before said apocalypse occurred. Tonight, however, the sustenance of choice seemed to be bags of chocolate, tubs of Ben &amp; Jerry's and plenty of white wine._

_"Everyone except us. I guess now it's everyone except him." I'd never seen Erza look so down. She jabbed her spoon listlessly into her ice cream. Strawberry Cheesecake. Her favourite flavour but she'd barely touched it._

_"Juvia doesn't understand." I really didn't. I'd heard what she'd said but it was so unbelievable. Jellal and Erza acted more like a couple than anyone I knew. They were constantly flirting with each other. He was always putting his hands on her and she acted different around him. Gentler, more girly, still badass but soft around the edges. They finished each other's sentences so naturally it was hard to find it weird. I'd never seen them argue about anything. As far as I was concerned their relationship was perfect. Hadn't I seen them hugging at school on Friday?_

_Erza sighed, "I confessed and he ignored me. What is there not to understand? He doesn't like me that way."_

_"I can't believe he ignored your confession letter. At the very least he could tell you what he thinks. Even a text would do at this point. To just ignore you is... really bad," Levy tipped a handful of chocolate into her hand and passed the bag to me._

_"Maybe he's not ignoring me. Maybe he's thinking about it," Erza said hopefully._

_There was a long, quiet heartbeat and then we all erupted with comments confirming that he was most definitely, completely blown away by a confession from such an amazing girl as Erza. Because he'd have to be an idiot not to be interested in her._

Things had gone on like that for awhile. I'd seen Erza this morning as I was sneaking out of the house. Standing on the back porch, wrapped up in a blanket, watching the sunrise by herself. She looked as lonely as I felt. It hadn't been easy trying to reassure her that Jellal wasn't being a total jerk in the face of such overwhelming evidence to the contrary. He'd fallen down a good few pegs in my esteem of him after this little stunt of his. I hadn't seen any tears from Erza yet but I had no doubt that Jellal was the only guy in the world who could get a woman as strong as Erza to cry over him. If he didn't call her soon I think we'd probably end up watching Levy's copy of _The Notebook _and bitching about how all men were selfish, arrogant pigs and nothing like Noah in the film.

Was it bad that Erza's problems were distracting me from mine?

I hit lap forty-four and decided to take it up a notch. I still hadn't faced the issue of what exactly had happened between Gray-sama and me last night. Probably because I had no clue where to even start. I pushed the thought to the back of my mind and concentrated on timing my breaths right. Here, under the water, there were no complications and everything made sense.

* * *

I woke up feeling slightly disorientated, in a bed that wasn't mine. Not a completely unfamiliar feeling. I blinked at the ceiling and slowly figured out what had happened last night. I'd danced a lot and drank even more. Partly because I'd forced myself to take a shot every time I caught myself looking for or thinking about Juvia.

Every time Lyon mentioned 'his angel' and I thought of how her legs looked in that dress.

Shot.

Every time a flash of blue at the corner of my eye had me twisting my head around to see who it was.

Shot.

When Meredy and Millianna told me they hadn't seen her in awhile and asked if I knew where she was.

Three shots.

It'd been a lot of shots.

I felt pretty rough this morning but it was self-inflicted so I didn't expect any sympathy. No one told me to suddenly decide to take an interest in that hot mess. It was only Juvia. I hoped that by Monday she would have worked her way out of my system. As it was, there was only one thing that had successfully kept her off my mind. I rolled over but my searching hand only met soft sheets. The bed wasn't even warm any more. It was unusual for me to still be in bed when the girl wasn't but with this girl I didn't mind. I knew she wouldn't get any weird ideas. I climbed out of bed and went to go find her.

There was no need to search. I knew where she'd be. I pulled on some clothes and snuck down the hall past her parents' bedroom. I didn't really need to. They were the kind of cool parents who didn't seem to freak out about things. I'd bumped into her dad in the kitchen, early one morning last year and had expected the whole 'what are your intentions with my daughter' chat. Instead we'd ended up talking football scores. The only reference he made to knowing what I was doing in his house at that ridiculously early hour was a throw away question as I walked away.

_"Oh and Gray?"_

_"Yeah?" I turned at the door to the kitchen, not quite believing I'd gotten off without a grilling from her father._

_"Are you two being safe?"_

_Shit! He knew. He definitely knew. He sure as hell wasn't asking if we wore seatbelts every time we got in a car together. Lie! Lie now! I opened my mouth, all ready to act innocent and spill some story about a project due Tuesday. Panic making me forget that she went to an all girl school and that an excuse involving school work would be beyond unbelievable. But he'd looked me square in the eye with an expression that said clear as day 'don't bullshit me'. So I swallowed the lie and simply nodded._

_"Every time?"_

_"Every time."_

_"Good. Unless you're planning to put a ring on my little girl, keep it that way." He snapped his newspaper open and went back to reading the round-up of weekly sports scores. And I escaped with a burning red face but otherwise intact._

Julian and Grace would go mental if I brought a girl home. I was sure of it but what they didn't know couldn't hurt them and if they wondered where I disappeared to on weekends they didn't ask and I wasn't telling. I made my way downstairs and opened the door to the basement. Immediately the soft strains of an orchestra came drifting out. I closed the door swiftly behind me and quietly walked down the narrow stairs. I peeked around the corner and there Enno was. Dancing with her at a party was one thing but watching her perform was quite another. I was far from an expert yet even I knew raw talent when I saw it. She was amazing. I stood there for awhile watching her execute flawless turn after flawless turn and wondered how anyone could doubt that dance was a form of art.

The music stopped and Enno slid to the floor in an effortless split. "Morning Gray."

"Hey, new routine? It looks amazing."

Enno pulled a face at me, "I upped the difficulty for my next audition but I keep missing the timing for the attitude into the fouette."

"The attitude into the fouette," I nodded sagely like I understood any of that and she laughed.

"I'm speaking dance. Sorry."

"It's okay." I liked Enno a lot. She was beautiful, sweet, a great flirt, a better kisser and the complete opposite of clingy. Best of all she was already in a committed relationship. I don't mean with another guy. I'd already learned the hard way that messing with a girl that has a boyfriend was a bad idea. I definitely was not going there again. No, Enno was in love with training, with expensive pointe shoes, with pushing her body to its limits and sometimes beyond them. She didn't have a boyfriend because dance was her relationship. Which suited me fine. If I popped in and out of her life she didn't mind because she had more important things to do than try and tie a man down. We were as close to perfect friends with benefits as anyone could hope for. I crossed the smooth wood floor and tried to steal a kiss off her but she shot me down, as expected.

"Gray, I'm stretching."

"I could help stretch you," I winked but she only rolled her eyes.

"Honestly, you're insatiable. Sit. Not there. Out of my way."

I scooted back along the floor and ended up leaning against the huge mirror. To be fair, watching Enno stretch wasn't such a bad deal and I knew her well enough to not push my luck when she was this focussed. "So when is the audition?"

"Saturday. There's a dinner and drinks planned afterwards since it's the last one of the season. Want to come with me?"

"Hmm. I have to revise sometime. Don't you?"

Enno shrugged and leaned forward until her stomach was flat on the floor, her legs still in a split. How the fuck could she do that? I mean, damn.

"I only applied to one college and that's a fall back plan if I don't get accepted into a professional company. Dancing _is_ my revision."

"You'll get accepted. They'd be crazy not to want you."

"Thanks. I sure hope so. What about you? I feel like we haven't talked in ages."

It had been a few months. We chatted for a while about what we'd been up to and our plans for the future. Back in freshman year it'd felt like high school would never end yet here we were, a scant few months away from walking out of our respective schools and never looking back. Everything was going fine and I'd managed to forget about last night until Enno dropped a bombshell on me.

"So... that girl last night. Was she your ex?" She had one hand resting lightly on the barre bar for balance while she rose up onto her toes and then back down. Her eyes briefly met mine in the mirror.

"My _what?_" I didn't have any ex-girlfriends. I'd never had a girlfriend, period, and the fact that Juvia had been mistaken for one grated on my nerves but was also so ironic I couldn't help laughing.

"Well she didn't act like the other girls."

That stopped me laughing. "What other girls?"

"You know, the girls you've slept with."

"Wait, what?" I did not like where this conversation was heading.

"Gray, you're not exactly monogamous. It's an all girl school. Girls talk."

"You talk about me?"

"I don't. But the others do."

I wasn't sure what to feel about that. I always thought girls didn't kiss and tell. The idea of an entire classroom of girls discussing... Discussing what? How I was in bed? Comparing me to other guys? Did girls do things like that? I assumed they talked about make-up or fashion or relationships, but on an emotional level. More 'he never listens to me' moaning than 'he rocked my world' bragging. Of those two categories there was only one the girls I'd been with could talk about. "What do they say?"

"Secret." A flirty smile played across her face.

"Oh come on. You can't say something like that and then leave it there." I was curious now.

"Anyway, so that girl isn't your ex?"

"You can't change the subject."

"She looked really upset with you. Who is she?"

Apparently the subject had changed and was not going back. "Juvia. She goes my school. Can we please not talk about her?" Images of last night were floating back to me, not entirely unpleasant but certainly unwelcome.

"Ah, she is an ex then."

"No. I just don't...ugh fine. What about her?"

"Is something going on between you and her?"

"God no. She likes me, I don't like her."

Enno frowned, "You're not messing her around right? That's mean."

"Believe me. I've done absolutely everything I can think of to put her off but nothing works."

Her expression cleared. "That's alright then. You randomly kissed me yesterday so I thought maybe I was in the right place, at the right time to make her jealous or something. I like that what we have isn't complicated. I don't want to be used in some weird love triangle thing."

My conscience prickled. I had kind of used Enno to distract me from Juvia. The desire I'd felt to be back in bed with her faded a little. It was okay when we hooked up because it was what we both wanted but she had literally been who I'd seen first and I'd grabbed onto her like a drowning man. She was one of the few girls I'd slept with who I actually considered a friend and I didn't want to take what we had for granted. "It wasn't like that," I said carefully and resolved myself not to treat Enno like an easy booty call.

Enno crossed the floor in more of those turns, these ones lazy and slow, more for fun than part of her practice and leaned down to kiss me. I couldn't resist placing my hands on her waist and pulling her down onto my lap. She settled there, warm and soft, almost instantly making my resolve waver. "I'm going to take a shower, want to join me?"

It was tempting, real tempting. My fingers skimmed along her exposed collarbone. I wanted to peel this leotard right off of her. "Your parents will be up soon."

"Oh, didn't I tell you? It's their anniversary. They went to Crocus for the weekend. We have the house to-"

That was all I needed to know. I stood up, sweeping Enno along with me and making her sentence cut off with laughter. I'd never think of her as easy or just another girl, and as long as she kept the same sweet personality I'd always be attracted to her. "We can shower later. I definitely think you haven't been stretched anywhere near enough."

* * *

I stood in the shower letting the warm water rinse off the chlorine from the pool. I felt down. I kept trying to force myself to think I hadn't been upset with Gray but the truth was I had been. He'd played with me. There was no other way to think of it. And that made me depressed. What was I supposed to do when the person who stopped the rain was threatening to start a new downpour? The water hitting my skin started to remind me of bad memories and the skin on my fingers was getting wrinkly so I quickly finished and got out. In the locker room, I was trying to comb out the tangled mess of my hair when my phone started ringing. "Hello?"

"Hey, are you coming back to mine any time soon?"

Cana. "Juvia was thinking about it."

"Great. Can you bring some more ice cream? We're definitely going to be watching _The Notebook."_

"Jellal didn't call Erza?"

"Nope. She's putting on a brave face but I can tell she's super down about it. I feel really bad since it's kind of my fault."

"Cana-san, Juvia doesn't think you have anything to do with it."

"It kind of is. Lucy and I really pushed her to confess to him. We both thought it was a done deal. You know they already act all loved up so we figured it was only putting an official label on what they already were. Apparently not. I don't know what his problem is but I'm going to annihilate him at school tomorrow. Stupid boy."

I could practically feel the waves of anger coming off Cana. Scary. "Cana, can Juvia ask you a question?"

"I think you just did."

"Ano ne..."

"I'm kidding Juvia. What is it?"

My finger traced a path down the fogged up mirror, "It's about Gray-sama."

"For goodness sake. As I've said a billion times, stop trying so hard! If you gave him two seconds to breathe maybe he'd change his mind about you. You're smothering him with-"

"Cana," It was rude to interrupt but honestly, I'd heard that particular lecture so often I more or less had it memorised, "Juvia saw this girl with Gray-sama last night."

Cana snorted, "Nothing new about that."

I gave a brief description of the girl from last night, "Do you know her? Juvia never saw her before." It bugged me that they seemed so familiar with each other. Even Gray didn't just walk up to random girls and start frenching them.

"Sounds like Enno. I met her once or twice. She's like his favourite or something."

My finger froze right in the middle of adding my name under Gray-sama's in the heart I'd drawn on the mirror.

"Juvia? Hello? Hello? Okay, why do I get the impression that you're doing that scary thing you do when you think you've found a new love rival? Honestly, Enno's really nice. She's not a whore or a bitch like most of them. Juvia?"

"Favourite?" Cana had _not _just used that word in a sentence involving _my _Gray-sama and a girl who _wasn't_ me. Why the fuck hadn't I found out about this sooner?

"Maybe I shouldn't have said anything..."

"No, Juvia wants to know." I ground the words out between clenched teeth.

"Well, okay." Cana's hesitation was clear but when I didn't say anything she filled the silence. "They hang out a lot, in a platonic way. She's not like his usual one night stands. They're friends who happen to sleep together once in awhile. Enno's probably the closest thing Gray's ever had to a proper girlfriend."

A long pause stretched on.

"Juvia understands."

"Oh god. Why do you sound like a soulless robot? Please don't do anything reckless. I don't want to be an accomplice to murder. I know what you were like with Lucy and that was only a stupid misunderstanding."

Reckless? Me? Never.

Murder? Now that was a definite maybe.

This Enno bitch had just had herself bumped up to love rival numero uno and that was not something I could let slide. "Do you know where this skank, Juvia means girl, lives?"

"Okay, no. Just NO! Don't even think about it. The only thing you're doing today is helping to cheer Erza up. Go on your little personal vendetta on Monday. Actually, don't go on it at all! Enno's never done anything to you. And no, before you ask, I will not tell you where she lives. You need to calm yourself the fuck down alright? I can practically feel that creepy aura thing over the phone."

I wiped my hand across the mirror, obliterating the love heart along with the steam. My face did look a little scary. Nothing pissed me off more than thinking a girl was more than an easy lay to Gray-sama. I couldn't do anything about his crush on Lyon. Boys love was a little beyond me but a favourite girl? Oh. Hell. No. I breathed in deeply, trying to find some balance within my inner turmoil. I took my eyes off Gray-sama for one night because of some stupid sad feeling and look what happened. I wasn't about to lose to anyone, never mind some slut who appeared out of nowhere and tried to upstage me. "Juvia will bring some ice cream over."

Cana sighed with obvious relief but my expression in the mirror never wavered. I'd been rejected by Gray-sama enough to know how much it hurt so I'd give this day to Erza and my friends. But Monday? Personal vendetta wasn't even the half of it. We'd see exactly who was whose favourite.

* * *

Mondays are no one's favourite day but this morning I was feeling pretty damn good. Other than the time we'd spent in her bed and the equally amazing hour spent in the shower exploring just how flexible Enno was, Sunday had been filled with nothing but pure simplicity. We'd chilled in front of the TV, watching football. By 'we' I mean I watched the game while she painted her nails and flipped through a glossy magazine. That was cool though because I didn't have to explain any of the rules while she faked an interest in a sport she really didn't give a damn about and as an added bonus, she didn't seem to mind my hands wandering under her shirt during every commercial. She was so uncomplicated and non-stressful to be around. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out why I didn't hang out with her more. I whistled as I walked down the hall and entered my homeroom right on time to hear Jellal moan, "Fuck. I swear I haven't done anything. Maybe it was Gray?"

Not ready to take the fall for something that would probably mean getting my ass kicked by Erza I instantly denied it. "Not me, man. I spent all weekend banging this awesome girl from Mermaid Heel. Seriously, chicks from all girl schools are the best." I had a rock solid alibi so I relaxed and tried to find out what was going on. It wasn't hard to figure out from the conversation that the girls were seriously pissed off. Natsu was whining like a bitch about Lucy not sleeping with him because Jellal had fucked something up. I kind of felt bad for him when Gajeel confirmed it was Erza who was angry. She was fucking scary on a good day, never mind if she was in a bad mood. I didn't worry about it though. Jellal and Erza hardly ever fought. I guess they knew each other so well that it wasn't hard for them to see each other's point of view even when they disagreed on things.

Scorpio-sensei walked in, dead on half past eight, and tried to get us all to shut up. A few half hearted detention threats later and everyone finally settled down. The scattering of empty seats didn't go unnoticed. "We seem to be missing a few students this morning," he said as he set the register down on his desk. It was highly unusual for any of the girls to be late but here it was, 8.35 and...

The girls did not walk into the room. They _arrived _like a sudden downpour on a previously sunny day. I swear down the temperature in the room dropped ten degrees. It's a wonder Jellal didn't drop dead from all the evil stares he got. Whatever he'd done, a simple apology was clearly not going to cut it.

"How nice of you to join us, ladies. Can we try to be on time? You're all final year students and are preparing to become productive members of society..."

Ah, sensei's typical act your age, not your shoe size lecture. I don't think anyone was listening. Everyone seemed pretty caught up in the soap opera occurring in the middle of the room. Erza was ignoring Jellal. Flat out blanking him. Not even a hello for her best friend. Poor guy. He looked horrified. The whole thing was very interesting and slightly funny. I leaned back in my chair, curious as to how this would all pan out. It always fascinated me how Jellal could take Erza from moody to laughing seemingly without effort. It would have been a handy trick to know for when Natsu and I pissed her off with our constant bickering but Jellal was the only person I'd ever seen do it.

Homeroom dragged on through announcements about exam timetables and revision sessions. I really needed to start revising or I could kiss college goodbye. Of course that thought lasted for only ten seconds before I moved on to wondering what Enno was doing tonight. Probably practising. The sharp tone of the bell cut through the air and snapped me out of a damn good daydream about more shower sex with Enno. Normally when the bell rang, especially on a Monday, everyone went back to discussing all the crazy things that'd happened over the weekend. It might have been me, but it felt like all the conversations were subdued, everyone hopeful for some new ground breaking gossip. It was stupid. Everyone got all hyped up if someone confessed and got rejected or got mega drunk and stripped on a table at some random party but that was nothing compared to when a long standing couple broke up. Trouble in paradise? People loved all that angst and drama. Some couples were infamous for breaking up and making up but Jellal and Erza were infamous for denying being a couple when all evidence pointed towards contrary. They were the most obvious of high school sweethearts. As usual there was no point in anyone holding their breath. Into the semi-quietness Jellal said, "You're hair looks pretty like that." Erza blushed, one hand subconsciously reaching up to touch one of the soft curls she must have spent at least an extra hour doing this morning, and the whole thing was over. Normality achieved in typical anti-climatic fashion. Jellal was a lucky bastard to have a girl like Erza wrapped around his little finger. She couldn't even stay mad at him for the twenty minutes of homeroom.

I followed them out of the classroom and headed for my locker. I think Juvia had been really upset at the start of the year to find out she wasn't in the same homeroom as the rest of us but no amount of begging or pleading could convince the teachers to swap her with anyone. So she'd done the next best thing and begged or bribed different students until she got the locker next to mine. That's where she met me, every morning almost like clockwork. I pulled my maths textbook out of my locker and hesitated. I had everything I needed for first period. I could walk away. Juvia met me here, if she was lucky. I never fucking _waited_ for her but for some reason I lingered, casually re-arranging my other books into organised chaos instead of just random mess. Alright, I'll admit it. I wanted to know if I'd been cured of my Juvia-is-pretty-ism or not. So I waited while crowds of students moved behind me and feigned interest in smoothing out the bent pages in my beaten up copy of _Romeo &amp; Juliet. _

"Gray-sama."

I jumped. For all my curiosity, Juvia had still managed to sneak up on me. I took a deep breath and nonchalantly turned around.

Fuck.

* * *

I'd been one hundred and ten percent ready to accost Gray-sama about this 'favourite' whore of his but my prepared speech died on my lips. He was looking at me. The same way he had at Risley's party. Like I was something he wanted to devour. It hadn't been a one off moment or a fluke. This was unmistakable. There was something about me that he liked. A lot. My face flushed and my heart pounded that little bit harder. With all that was going on in the crowded hallway it still felt like it was just the two of us standing here. I tried again with a much gentler tone, "Gray-sama-"

The door to the student council room swung open and slammed shut with enough force that a nearby locker opened and a landslide of books, papers and pens fell out. Erza. An extremely angry Erza. "Go to class!" She barked. She did not have to say it twice. The hallway emptied out in record time, kids tripping all over each other in their desperation to get out of her way. Gray-sama suddenly decided to re-tie a shoelace that definitely was already tied and I found my timetable fascinating despite the fact that it hadn't changed since the Easter break. Erza stomped down the hall, leaving nothing but curious onlookers and grateful survivors in her wake.

Okay...? I guess her first meeting with Jellal post-confessing had _not_ gone well.

* * *

Erza's temper tantrum notwithstanding, I was having major deja vu. Here I was, yet again, eye level with Juvia's flawless legs. She was still hot as hell to me. Absolutely nothing had changed since Saturday. She shifted her weight to one hip and the grey folds of her school skirt swished across her thighs. I knew without a doubt two things right then.

Firstly, I'd never be able to see her as a plain, no consequence girl ever again.

Secondly, I was fucked. Royally fucked.

I'd spent nearly the entire weekend in bed with a great girl, who I could probably easily see again without any hassle yet here I was, literally speechless and on my knees, in front of a girl who'd take one night of meaningless fun and twist it into a declaration of undying love.

Irony was a bitch.

There was only one thing to do. I'd have to act like nothing had changed. I absolutely could not get involved with Juvia in any way. She'd take any sign of encouragement completely the wrong way and I'd never get rid of her. The gears in my brain went into overdrive, trying to formulate a way out of this awkward situation.

Alright, starting now, I had to stop acting so obviously awestruck every time I saw her. At the same time I had to make sure she didn't suspect that I was mentally undressing her.

* * *

He was undressing me with his eyes and it was _so _obvious. My whole face flared even redder than before. I was tongue-tied and couldn't think of anything sweet or flirty to say. I'd been so far off his radar for so long that now I was completely unprepared for the change in our relationship. I sent a silent thank you to the shop assistant who'd insisted to me that the blue dress wasn't too short. I owed her a lot. Gray-sama finally saw me as a girl!

He stood up, "Have you got a felt tip pen?"

_Huh? _I'd almost expected him to grab my hands and confess that he loved me like in one of my daydreams but I guess that was too far-fetched. "Juvia thinks so." I dug through my bag and pulled a blue pen from my pencil case. Gray took the pen, then my hand and started writing down numbers.

I almost fainted. I already had Gray-sama's number but I hadn't gotten it from him and, despite what the girls said about me being shameless, I wasn't about to be constantly calling and texting him when he clearly didn't want me to. But now I was getting full permission! Lucky! This had to be the best day of my life. I'd have to mark it down on my calendar so I wouldn't forget our anniversary. Ah, I could see it already. Gray-sama and I, a year from now at college. He'd buy flowers, and I'd cook all his favourite foods, and we'd laugh about our high school days from before he realised I was perfect for him in every way. It'd be wonderful. Gray-sama finished writing and tucked the pen back into my bag. I admired his handiwork, already determined to keep the number there as long as-

"This isn't Gray-sama's number." I recognised the differences immediately.

"Well obviously. Why would I do something stupid like that?" He gave me a cool look and none of the heat I'd seen in his eyes before was there. "It's Lyon's. He thinks you're hot, for some bizarre reason, and wants you to call him."

My little fantasy had moved on to playing Gray-sama's incredibly sweet marriage proposal in the back of my mind. In an instant, the image froze and shattered into a million pieces. "Lyon's number? But Juvia doesn't like him. Why can't Juvia have Gray-sama's number?"

"Because I don't want you annoying me any more than you already do." He closed his locker and started walking away from me.

The situation was far too much like Saturday for my liking. My Gray-sama was turning into a total tsundere. One moment he was checking me out, then he cast me aside again. What the hell was going on? I frowned, "Is this about Lyon? Or that girl? Because Juvia won't lose to any stupid love rival! Juvia will be Gray-sama's favourite for sure."

* * *

Juvia was talking nonsense again. All that love rival crap that made no sense to anyone but her. I ignored her and kept heading down the hall. I needed some space and time away from this girl to adjust to the new way she looked and make sure I had defences in place so I didn't do anything stupid. Like check her out, or try to steal a kiss, or insinuate in any way that I wanted her. I let out a short, sharp breath. How had this happened to me? It was irrational but I decide to blame Lyon. It was his obsession with Juvia's legs that'd got me all twisted up and confused. I was musing over how I could get him back for shoving Juvia on me when the door to the student council room opened again. "Wow. Erza's really mad, huh?"

Jellal leaned against the door frame and wiped a trickle of blood from the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand, "Yeah."

"You look like hell."

"Mmm." He held one hand to his stomach and I'd been on the receiving end of enough of Erza's uppercut punches to feel sympathy for him. The girl was hardcore and when she beat you up, she did it thoroughly.

"Oh I assure you, he deserves it," Cana said, coming to stand next to me, arm in arm with Juvia. "What'd you say to Erza anyway? She was already upset enough."

Jellal tried to shrug, winced and cut the movement short, "I didn't say anything. I have no clue why she's so mad."

"Are you an idiot or something? He is in idiot right Juvia?"

Juvia nodded, "Jellal-san is definitely acting stupid."

"What exactly have I done? I wish someone would just tell me."

Cana scowled at him, "Don't you have anything to say her? Any answer at all? She waited all weekend for you."

"Waiting for what? She didn't say anything important to me on Friday."

Cana's look turned murderous, "Nothing important? You are the most insensitive jerk ever! What the hell were you doing all weekend anyway?"

"Chill out. Why are _you _mad? I went to the dojo on Saturday and then the astronomy club asked for my help on Sunday. I was busy. Erza could have called me if she wanted something."

Cana's mouth fell open, "I'm speechless. Literally speechless." She clearly wasn't but whatever. "You wasted all weekend fighting one bunch of stupid sweaty guys, then went stargazing with a different bunch of stupid nerdy guys? You couldn't give Erza five fucking minutes of your time?"

"Bros before hoes," I said, expecting a fist bump from Jellal but his eyes only darted from mine to Cana's and I realised a second too late that a statement like that in this situation was an epic mistake.

Cana rounded on me, "What'd you just call us?"

"Uh, not you specifically! I meant girls in general and stuff..."

"So we're all hoes now? Just because you run around with a bunch of easy skanks does not give you permission to put down an entire gender. What the fuck is your problem?"

"It's a saying..." I mumbled but Cana was on a roll now.

"Don't think we don't get what's going on here. You," she jabbed a finger into Jellal's chest and he swayed unsteadily, "Are an idiot and a coward! There is no excuse for your disgusting behaviour. Better watch your back because you're on my black list starting now. So help me, if Erza hadn't already beat your ass, I sure as well would have! And you," she grabbed my shirt and shook me, "Have serious maturity issues. Not only can you not even get a girlfriend but you're so immature you treat the girl you actually like as if you're both ten!"

"I what?" Me and my big mouth. Why didn't I just shut up? Cana's eyes burned and she took a deep breath. I braced myself for a tongue lashing but what she said was so fucking ridiculous...

* * *

I thought Cana was being a little too harsh, especially towards Gray-sama. I thought Jellal kind of deserved it though. He was completely ignoring Erza's feelings when she'd gone through the trouble of confessing to him. Best friends or not, that was a low blow. Cana had her arm looped with mine but she pulled away and shoved me forward. Surprised, I managed to throw my arms out but I still ended up pressed against Gray-sama chest.

"You know who I'm talking about!" Cana said. "You want to hear another 'saying'. I'll give you a good one. _Treat them mean to keep them keen. _News flash! You're fucking overdoing the whole 'I hate you' thing! You act like you're such a baller but the truth is, you fucking love having Juvia trailing after you and it's not just because it strokes your already overinflated ego. You're like an immature little boy on the playground teasing the girl you like because you can't admit how you really feel. It's pathetic! Grow a pair and man up!"

_What? _Really? Now that I thought about it, Gray-sama was extra mean to me for no good reason. Was that to hide how he really felt about me? I'd never considered it before but that made perfect sense. "Gray-sama!"

"No way! Don't look at me like that! I can see fucking love hearts! I _do not _like you!" Is what he said but his face was turning red. So cute!

I beamed up at him, "It's okay Gray-sama. Juvia understands everything and will wait until Gray-sama is ready to admit it."

"Let's go Juvia. These two are a waste of space." Cana took my arm again and dragged me down the hall. I twisted around and waved excitedly at Gray-sama. He stood there looking shell-shocked but I couldn't have been happier. All the confusion and anger of the weekend faded away. This Enno 'favourite' love rival bitch could kiss my ass. Gray-sama liked me!

Hell yeah!


	6. Mean Girls (Part I)

_A/N: 'Storm in a teacup' is a saying for when something small has been exaggerated out of proportion. Kind of like the saying 'a mountain out of a molehill', if that makes more sense. Nieve is Spanish for snow (like Lluvia aka Juvia is Spanish for rain). _

_I do not own Fairy Tail._

_Chapter Five - Mean Girls (Part One)_

I was officially on cloud nine. I felt like skipping down the hall and probably would have if Cana hadn't been hauling on my arm so hard. We made our way down the hall, Cana grumbling under her breath the whole way. A few steps from our first class, World History, she noticed my great mood.

"Why are you smiling like that?"

"Juvia is so happy. Gray-sama likes Juvia!"

She forced me to stop walking, her expression serious. "Juvia, look, don't take what I said to heart. Gray does act like an idiot around you but the truth is, I was angry and said all that to annoy him. I didn't mean to get your hopes up. Sorry, I should have thought about your feelings before I spoke."

"But Cana said..."

"Yeah, I know. I do think he likes you more than he admits but Gray is still Gray. He's not going to suddenly become your dream boyfriend and whisk you away on his white horse to live happily ever after. Especially if you keep acting like such a..."

"A what?"

"Never mind. Point is, you could wait forever and he wouldn't change. He's not cut out for serious relationships so don't get too excited."

I bit my lip. Some of the exuberance I'd been feeling trickled away, even as butterflies continued to float around in my stomach. "This weekend..." Cana looked at me expectantly but I hesitated. She'd probably say I was overreacting, or imagining things. What had happened on Saturday night had been so far from the usual even I felt like it might have only been a hazy dream. Still I couldn't help but want to continuing believing that those moments on the balcony had meant something. It probably wasn't her intention to rain on my parade yet that was exactly what would happen if I told Cana I thought Gray-sama really did like me a little. So I held my tongue and simply nodded instead.

During class, I put on my best attentive face and thankfully, the teacher never called on me. She no doubt thought I was busy writing revision notes on the mottled past of the various royal dynasties. Instead my notebook was covered with love hearts and my favourite phrase, _Mrs. Juvia Fullbuster. _The other girls couldn't understand the way I felt about Gray-sama. Sometimes I think they thought it was just a schoolgirl crush. I knew better. I'd never felt this way about any other guy before and I was willing to overlook so many of the negative aspects of my relationship with Gray-sama because I loved him.

After the disaster that was my first relationship, and the massive fallout triggered by that bad breakup, I'd moved on with my life and dated another guy. To be fair, that other relationship had been doomed to fail from the start because my heart was never truly in it. I'd put up an invisible shield, a protective wall around my heart that made sure I didn't get hurt again but also never let anyone too close. A shield that expanded to everyone except Gajeel-kun and even with him I'd only ever been myself when we were alone.

Oak Town High and Phantom Lord had been a perfect fit for the old me, my reputation just another layer to keep people at bay. Truth be told, what I'd thought of as a shield, had been nothing more than a hiding place. From my past, my parents, my feelings, my real self. To everyone else I probably seemed really bad ass but I'd been nothing more than a coward, hiding behind a mask of cold indifference. Putting my heart out there, knowing it could be broken, was ten times braver than any of the fights I'd been in with my old gang.

I sighed. It'd been over a year since I walked away from that life. I'd changed so much, made so much progress. That girl standing in the February snow last year was unrecognisable from the me of today. Still, I didn't hate my old self. After all, when offered a way out by a complete stranger on that freezing cold day, she'd made the absolute right decision. I could remember how it felt, shivering in that dark driveway with Gajeel-kun, feeling surprised that this tiny man wasn't intimidated by us at all.

_"You've got two choices. You can carry on with what you're doing, I'll call the police and the two of you can stay on the path you're on which will end with you either dead or in prison wondering when exactly you threw your life away. Or... You can come in from the cold, I'll make us some hot chocolate and we'll talk about how we can get you out of this mess you made for yourselves and maybe make something of your lives instead."_

We chose the hot chocolate.

I think it was a definite case of right place, right time _and _right person. Gajeel-kun and I were tired of that life, of the hustle, of the fighting, and Makarov-sensei was so down to earth and no nonsense. He didn't treat us like lost causes. He saw something in us no one else did but he didn't take crap from us either. It took a lot of time and effort and it could have backfired in a real bad way but by the time he'd put us through summer school we'd had enough of our rough edges smoothed over that we could blend in with the other kids like normal transfer students. And then of course, Gray-sama had taken a sledgehammer to the wall around my heart and my life would never be the same.

"Juvia!"

I jumped, "Yes!"

Cana was staring down at me, "What are you doing? The bell went like ten hours ago."

I could hardly say I was reminiscing about the time Makarov-sensei caught Gajeel-kun and I trying to hotwire his car in the middle of a snow storm so I mumbled a hasty apology, collected my things and walked with her to our next class.

* * *

_...You fucking love having Juvia trailing after you..._

_...Teasing the girl you like..._

_...You can't admit how you really feel..._

_...Grow a pair and man up!_

I added another angry stoke of black to the canvas. Cana's words kept spinning around and around in my head. She was wrong of course, extremely wrong. I didn't like Juvia. I couldn't think of any girl I liked _less _than Juvia. I'll admit being attracted to her but Cana made it seem like Juvia was my secret crush of something. No fucking way! I dipped the brush into the cup of water with enough force that I nearly spilled the entire thing.

"Gray..." a timid voice said from the other side of the canvas. I leaned around to see who it was, not bothering to hide my scowl. The girl's eyes went wide, "S-s-sorry!" I forced out a sharp breath and fixed my face. I'd been in an mood all day because of Cana and it was spilling over into my every interaction. I don't know why I couldn't just shrug her stupid opinion off. "What's up Katja?"

"Nothing. Sorry."

I'd scared her. Katja was an incredibly shy freshman. When she joined the art club she'd scarcely said a word to anyone. I'd kind of taken to her. I guess her blue hair and brown eyes reminded me of Wendy and it was hard to dislike a kid that was so kind-hearted and sweet. "No, it's fine. You need some help?"

She nodded, "Can I see yours? I don't even know where to start."

This afternoon, by some quirky twist of fate, the theme we'd chosen was 'strong emotion'. I hadn't even had to search for inspiration, there were plenty of things for me to use in my art. I waved her over and she came to stand next to me.

"Wow. It's amazing."

I relaxed on the stool and had a good look at what I'd created. The edges were still nothing more than the rough sketching but the focus of the canvas was more or less done. A giant teacup took up most of the space. Inside the teacup, an ocean of tea swirled around into a mini whirlpool and a tiny boat complete with two sailors fought to stay afloat. The background was black storm clouds, flashes of lighting and I was contemplating how to add in the illusion of rain.

"Thanks. It's called A Storm in A Teacup."

"It feels really angry and kind of desperate. I wish I could get emotion into my art like that."

Angry and desperate. Why couldn't I get Cana's words out of my head? They were stupid, nothing comments. I shouldn't care about them yet here I was, sitting in the club room, a full eight hours later, still fuming mad. "Let me see what you got."

Katja blushed but flipped her sketchbook open. A rough sketch of a kids bedroom with all the toys hanging out together, kind of like a scene out of Toy Story, with one lonely teddy in the foreground. The teddy had a band aid plastered over where it's heart would be. "I thought I might do loneliness," she said.

Poor kid. I knew she was finding it hard to make friends. "That's a great idea Katja. I can feel plenty of emotion in this. Are you going to use watercolours? It'd be more dramatic if the toys in the back were in bright colours and the bear was faded."

"I was going to use oil pencils and leave the bear black and white... or greyscale..."

"Perfect. You can blend the colours out too. Ask Reedus to show you, if you need help. He's the best at that, well at everything."

Katja shook her head, "Reedus is the best at drawing but I think Gray does the best sculptures."

She was so earnest and forthright, I couldn't help but smile. It was more or less true. Reedus slayed everyone when it came to most art techniques. Oil, acrylic, pencil, every canvas he touched turned into a masterpiece. We hadn't even done our exams and he'd already received full scholarship offers from three different colleges. I had no doubt people would be willing to pay big money for his artwork some day. Hopefully, one day they'd do the same for mine. At least I didn't have to worry about having Reedus for competition. Our favourite mediums were completely different. I practised sketching, painting and all the other traditional art methods but Katja was right. Sculpting was my real passion and what I was best at. It made me feel closer to... someone I still missed every day. "I'll help you get started," I told Katja, hoping it'd help me relax.

* * *

I couldn't relax. Gray-sama had been avoiding me all day, even more than usual. I wanted to talk to him so badly. I'd had plenty of time to re-evaluate exactly what happened on the weekend and I thought I had the gist of it. Gray-sama liked me, even though he expressed it in a really weird way. I just had to convert more of his meanness into flirting. Then, instead of it exploding in my face like when he'd walked away with that Enno bitch, I had to find a way to keep him interested in me. I was so close to getting him, I could practically taste it.

I sat on the steps, waiting for Gray-sama to come out of the art room. I used to watch him paint but apparently I was a 'distraction' to everyone and they kicked me out. At least it guaranteed me an uninterrupted hour of homework or revision time every week. So I flicked through my Biology notes and tried to convince myself that Krebs cycle was more interesting than thinking up a plan to entrap Gray-sama.

* * *

She caught me. I'd been semi-successful at avoiding Juvia all day, knowing that she'd taken Cana's words to heart but she glued herself to my side the moment I stepped out of the art room. "Gray-sama, let's study together!"

"Let's not."

"Oh Gray-sama, you don't have to act anymore. Juvia understands," she said with a smile and a wink.

I couldn't even begin to put my frustration at her actions into words. Juvia hung onto me all the way to the school gates. She had my arm wedged right against her breasts. Fucking hell. I didn't know how to react. If I was mean to her, Juvia would think I secretly liked her. If I was nice to her, Juvia would still think I liked her...

I was going to murder Cana in her sleep.

Juvia was so caught up in talking to me about revision timetables and the cookies she was planning on baking for me and blah, blah, blah I think she would have walked right into a wall, if not for me watching where we were going. So I don't think she noticed Erza and a girl wearing the Mermaid Heel uniform talking by the gates. I noticed because the girl was hot. "Hey," I called out as we got closer, "Who's this?"

The girl turned towards me and her blank expression turned into the tiniest of frowns before returning to neutral. "This is-" said Erza but the girl cut her short.

"Fullbuster. Do me a favour and keep out of my school."

I laughed, "I've never been in your school. The uniform would look ridiculous on me." I studied her face. She knew my name but I didn't know hers. Her dark hair and hazel eyes did seem a little familiar but I couldn't place her.

She didn't so much as smile, "Keep away from the girls at my school. You're a distraction and an annoyance."

"Funny. That's not what they say."

"Are you an actual idiot? Or are you just trying to irritate me?"

Juvia's grip on my arm tightened, "Gray-sama is not an idiot!"

The girl's eyes flicked from my face to Juvia's. "You're obviously one of his pathetic groupies therefore your opinion is invalid."

Juvia opened her mouth again but I shushed her. "Look princess, I don't know you and whatever you think you know about me is clearly second-hand. Maybe I should take you out, show you a good time, I'm sure your opinion will change."

Her eyes flashed and Erza decided to intervene. "This is Kagura, the student council president from Mermaid Heel."

Ah, that explained a few things. It wasn't unusual for the council members of different schools to have meetings together once in a while and it also made clear why she felt it was her right to demand I stay out of 'her' school. "You look kind of familiar."

"It's Kagura," Erza repeated but she must have noticed the blank look on my face because after a heartbeat she added, "_Mikazuchi."_

Mikazuchi, as in Simon's little sister. We'd all gone to the same primary school together. I had vague memories of a whiny five year old obsessively clinging to her brother. "Well damn princess. You sure grew up well."

"And you never grew up at all," she said coolly.

I took a moment to check her out again. She must be what, sixteen now? I didn't bother hiding what I was doing and she snapped, "Stop that!"

"Gray." Erza said, a warning.

"Gray-sama..." Juvia said, looking reproachfully at me.

Man, what was it with the women in my life? The sound of running footsteps made us all look back towards the school. Jellal joined our impromptu reunion, bending over with his hands on his knees to catch his breath. "Erza, why didn't you wait for me? I said I'd walk you home," he complained.

His lip was still swollen from the beating he'd taken from Erza earlier. I was pretty sure this was the record for the longest time Jellal and Erza had ever been in a fight. A whole day. They were usually all over each other within five minutes of an argument. He'd really fucked up but none of us guys knew how and the girls weren't telling. He was officially screwed until Erza calmed down.

"I don't need you to walk me home."

"Obviously, but I said I would. We need to talk."

"So _now _you want to talk? Well too bad. I'm going home with Juvia."

* * *

"Eh?" From being dragged away by Cana, to being dragged away by Erza. I just couldn't catch a break today.

"Are you two fighting?" Kagura asked. I'd already decided that I did not like her and was debating adding her to my list of love rivals. To me, all the mean things she said to Gray-sama had sounded like jealousy at being ignored.

"Yes," Jellal replied at the same time that Erza said, "No."

He stared at her, "What the hell Erza?"

"Don't worry Jellal. I got the message okay, so no, we are not fighting."

Jellal looked confused. Gray-sama looked confused. I was definitely confused. Kagura looked... happy? "You broke up? I have to tell my brother about this. Bye," she said with something suspiciously like a smile on her face as she walked away.

Okay, she wasn't _my _love rival but she might be Erza's. Why else would she look so happy about a fight between Erza and Jellal? "We're leaving," Erza declared, "Don't follow us." And, for the second time today, I was dragged away from a confounded Jellal and a not so shell shocked Gray-sama.

* * *

_Two days later..._

My plan was not working out. It was all but impossible for me to go back to treating Juvia the way I had before. Every time I saw her my eyes wandered from her eyes to her lips, from her breasts to her hips. I caught myself having thoughts about her, in and sometimes out of that blue dress, more and more often. It was pointless. There was no way I could get with her. I couldn't think of a single time I'd ever wanted a girl this much and not pursued her until I got her, especially a girl who would clearly be more than willing to hook up with me. Yet at the same time I knew Juvia would never let me off with a casual fling. So I tried being colder to her but just like I thought, Cana's words meant that the more distant I tried to be, Juvia only clung to me harder. It didn't help that Lyon was constantly texting me, demanding to know why Juvia hadn't called him yet. He thought I was intentionally keeping her away from him and every message he sent only reminded me of how she had looked on Saturday night. How she looked every damn day...

I was stuck. Literally trapped between an intense desire for her gorgeous body and an equally strong desire not to be involved with a girl who defined the term clingy. I had no clue what to do about it. So I did the one thing I knew would keep my mind off Juvia. I filled all my spare time up with other girls. Which was why I was in the back row of the cinema in town with one of the girls I'd met at that ill-fated Saturday night party. My tongue was fully occupied but for some reason my brain wouldn't switch off.

This thing I had going with Juvia was just a storm in a teacup. It'd blow over. I wouldn't keep lusting over a girl I knew I couldn't have. I couldn't keep imaging running my hands over her soft, warm thighs, sucking on her neck, slowly removing her clothes, one teasing layer at a time, sliding so deep inside her...

"What'd you just call me?"

I blinked at the girl. Why the hell weren't we still making out?

"You just called me by another girl's name."

Even the darkness, I could tell she was annoyed. "No, I didn't." Had I? I wasn't sure but I had a sinking feeling what name it might have been.

"What's my name?" She demanded and someone a few rows ahead of us said in a loud whisper "Shut up!"

"Hana. I didn't say anything. You think I don't know your name?"

"Yeah, whatever," she said and sat back in the seat with her arms crossed over her chest.

Well, there went my plans for getting any tonight.

* * *

I wandered into the dorm, a few minutes after ten. I don't know what happened with Gray-sama and that girl he'd taken to the movies but she'd stormed off as soon as the ending credits hit the screen and he'd gone home alone. Unusual but I was more than happy with that. I paused by the table at the bottom of the stairs and leafed through the mail. A pale pink letter with familiar handwriting leaped out at me. I picked it up and smelled it. Apple blossom. Honestly, she wrote letters to me the same way she wrote them to her boyfriend. I'd never admit it but secretly it made me happy that she considered me worthy of the expensive stationary and the extra effort. I headed for my room, curled up on my bed and started reading.

_Dear Juvia,_

_How is my favourite little sister?_

I smiled at the running joke. Nieve always started her letters that way and I always replied that her favourite and _only _little sister was fine. We were six years apart which in my eyes was perfect. Too far apart to grow up fighting over each other's clothes, yet not so far apart that we couldn't be best friends. Still, it was enough of an age gap that I'd spent most of my childhood looking up to her. When I was twelve, she'd been eighteen, beautiful, confident and everything I could ever wish to be. Everything my parents wanted me to be. Everything I'd failed to be.

I shook my head to clear that thought and went back to the letter. It was four whole pages of nothing but wedding plans. I wouldn't say she'd turned into a bridezilla over the last few months but her looming nuptials did seem to overshadow everything else in her life. As usual there were the subtle reminders that she'd decided on a style for my bridesmaid dress, that I had to come and try said dress on, that she'd also arranged for one of her fiancée's brothers to be my date if I couldn't find one and a reiteration of the wedding date which was... next year. She was definitely overexcited. I couldn't blame her though. She was marrying a great guy.

Reaching into my desk I got out the expensive stationary set she'd brought for me and started crafting a response. No, I didn't think a veil was old fashioned, yes, she'd look fabulous in pearls and, equally as subtle as her hints, I let her know that there was no way I'd be there next year. Our parents would be there so by default I wouldn't. I hadn't been in their presence since I'd walked out of the family home three years ago. They'd thought I was returning to boarding school. I hadn't known where I was going as long as it was far away from them and even further away from my ex-boyfriend. I'd been fifteen. If they wanted to they could have had the police bring me back home. But they didn't and I'd ended up with Phantom Lord instead. They were done with me and I was done with them. Not even my sister's wedding would get me anywhere near them.

I knew it was mean, and a little selfish, to let our mutual hatred spill over onto her wedding day but I couldn't back down on this. So she kept dropping hints that she wanted me there and I kept dropping hints that it wasn't going to happen. Nieve probably expected to wear me down over the next few months. As the day drew closer eventually she'd have no choice but to ask me point blank and I'd have to refuse her. She'd cry and I'd feel like a total bitch. I could only hope that she wouldn't let my absence ruin her big day.

I ran out of things to say about the pros and cons of an ivory dress over a pure white one and wrote two pages about Gray-sama instead. Then, I sat at my desk, twirling my fountain pen around and around, and wondered what Gray-sama was doing right now.

* * *

I'd been staring at the same maths problem for the last five minutes. Not because I couldn't do it but because I was too distracted to try. I laid the pen down and gave up. Juvia was on my mind. I'd much rather she was in my bed but that wasn't going to happen. Not unless she had a complete personality change and fell out of love with me. The chances of that were about the same as me having a complete personality change and falling in love with her. Pigs would fly first.

I got up and opened my door. The hallway was dark, the house quiet. Julian and Grace tended to go to bed early and rise early. They never noticed if I disappeared for the night as long as I was back in bed before they got up. I snuck down the stairs and out the house. I had no specific destination in mind but I wasn't surprised to end up standing outside of Enno's dance school. The buildings on either side were shrouded in darkness but light still blazed from the studio windows. I checked the time. 11.14. She told me once that she danced at least five hours a day. With school and homework, I didn't know how she managed it but if Enno was anything, she was driven.

She wasn't expecting me but I didn't have to wait long for the lights to go out and a group of five girls to descend the stairs. I was standing in the shadow of a doorway across the street. They couldn't see me and it would probably scare them if I just appeared from the darkness so I waited for them to go their separate ways. They talked for a few minutes then four of them laughed and walked away. Enno was the only one left.

She was wearing baggy sweatpants and white top that was so loose it had slid off one of her shoulders. Completely casual but I didn't mind. As I pushed off the door I was leaning against, she reached up and let her hair down from the bun it was in. "Enno," I called softly so I didn't freak her out too much. Her head whipped around and I only got a glimpse of her face before she'd thrown her arms around me. Still those few seconds were long enough for me to register the tears in her eyes.

I immediately tensed up. I'd never seen Enno cry. Ever. We weren't friends like that. We had a lot of fun and a lot of sex but anything serious just didn't factor into our relationship. I patted her back awkwardly. What the hell was I supposed to do?

"Can you take me home?"

"Sure," I said, "Did you hurt yourself or something?" I could probably deal with tears caused by a sprained ankle or some other kind of injury.

Enno pulled on the edge of my t-shirt and used it to dry her eyes. "No, I'm just being melodramatic."

I scoffed, "You? Never." I hesitated, because I didn't want to start her off crying again, then asked a loaded question, "What's wrong?"

Her only answer was a kiss. A kiss that went on and on. Her fingers played with my hair and I couldn't stop my hands running down her back, squeezing her ass, pulling her against me. "Take me home," she breathed when we finally pulled apart and I knew she wasn't telling me to walk her to her front door.

I wasn't good with touchy feely emotional crap but if I could sleep with Enno to forget Juvia then she could sleep with me to forget whatever was bothering her. "Okay."

* * *

I woke up just after midnight. My letter to Nieve was spread out over my desk and I had a mark on my face from my pen. I must have fallen asleep while thinking about Gray-sama. I yawned, stretched and heard what must have woken me up. Hushed, excited semi-whispers in the hallway. Peeking out my door, I saw Cana and Erza talking. "What's going on?"

"Sorry, did we wake you up?"

"It's okay," I leaned against my door and they walked over.

"There's a party at Mira-sempai's college on Saturday. I can't go, but do you want to Juvia?" asked Cana.

"Mira-sempai?"

"Oh, I don't think you know her," Erza said, "She's the older sister of Elfman and Lisanna."

"Never mind that," Cana said, her excitement making her voice loud. "Erza's got a surprise for Jellal."

Erza blushed, "Quiet! This is so embarrassing. Everyone is going to know."

"Everyone already thinks you two are doing it so it hardly matters!"

"Cana! Shut the hell up!"

"Girls," Ruchio said from behind them, "It's after midnight on a school night. Go to bed."

"Yes," we all chorused, not wanting to annoy the dorm owner.

Cana and Erza left, arm in arm and I shut my door quietly. It was nice to see Erza back in good spirits. She'd been so down the last few days and it didn't suit her to be unhappy. I had wondered if she'd give up since Jellal had rejected her but of course she wouldn't. Erza never quit anything. I smiled, if she was going to keep trying for the boy she liked then I had no excuse. I wasn't going to let Gray-sama avoid me any more. He'd been so hard to tie down these last few days. It'd been like I was Peter Pan chasing my own shadow. I nodded, my mind made up. The first chance I got I was going to confront Gray-sama about Saturday night. It kept replaying in my head. The way he looked at me, the words he spoke, his hands on my skin... He couldn't almost kiss me and think I would just forget about it.

"Goodnight Gray-sama," I said blowing a kiss at the picture I had of him on my wall. I hoped he was prepared because I was coming for him one hundred and ten percent.


	7. Mean Girls (Part II)

_A/N: __I do not own Fairy Tail_

_Chapter 6 - Mean Girls (Part Two)_

I lay in the darkness of Enno's room and let my hand stroke over the contours of her back. She was fast asleep, her problems seemingly forgotten. I wish I could say the same. Every other thought I had centred around Juvia and my problems with her. I was confused about how I should treat her now that her automatic reaction was that anything I said or did was a 'good' sign. Most likely, even if I said 'I hate you' to Juvia's face she'd probably think it was a secret confession. But I wasn't so worried over her reaction as I was to my own.

Had I really thought she was pretty all this time and just ignored it? Was I doomed to always be attracted to her now that I'd re-noticed her? If those kind of questions weren't enough, a tiny voice in the back of my mind was telling me that if Cana's words were completely untrue then they wouldn't bother me so much, or at all. That was one particular train of thought I was _never_ going to explore. Talk about fucked up. I was not into all this emotional bullshit. I almost wished I could fuck Juvia, get her out of my system, and move the hell on.

But I obviously couldn't do that.

Even if I did manage to cut Juvia loose afterwards, I'd only end up replacing Jellal as the girls number one enemy. I had a feeling Gajeel and I wouldn't feel eye to eye about that situation either. We were cool but I had the distinct impression that if I crossed the line with Juvia he wouldn't keep quiet. The exact location of that line was kind of vague. He obviously didn't give a damn if I gave Juvia the cold shoulder and he'd yet to pull the 'she's like my sister' crap on me...

Why was I thinking about this? I didn't want to be a jerk and hurt Juvia. I didn't want the girls to hate me, quite possibly, for life. I didn't want to screw over my friendship with Gajeel. Even if, by some crazy combination of her persistence and a lack of self-control from me, we did hook up, it'd be shit. That girl had innocent virgin written all over her. She'd probably be dead boring in bed, and ridiculously clingy afterwards. I was not dealing with that.

So why was Juvia still on my mind? I sighed and placed soft kisses all over Enno's bare shoulder. I should stick with what I knew. Nice, fun girls with no foolish ideas about making our 'relationship' last longer than one night. Enno stirred and rolled onto her side so my hand ended up resting on her waist. "Sorry, did I wake you?"

She yawned, "Mmm, it's okay. Can't you sleep?"

No, I realised I couldn't. I'd been lying here with thoughts of Juvia going around and around in my head. What was I? A thirteen year old girl with a crush? Oh crap, that only reminded me of Cana's words. I buried my face in the crook of Enno's neck, "It's nothing."

I heard the smirk in her voice, "That means it's definitely something. You can tell me."

"I'm a man. Men do not _discuss _their problems."

She laughed, low and soft, and I felt that familiar desire for her. She was so bubbly and kind and easy going. And totally had been crying earlier. "What's up with you anyway?"

Her laugh faded away, "Just some silly girl drama."

My brain dredged up the memory from earlier and noticed something I'd missed. Those four girls laughed and walked away. Enno hadn't been laughing with them, she'd been getting laughed at by them. "Are those girls being horrible to you?"

"You can't ask me about my problem and not tell me about yours. It's unfair. I'll only tell if you do."

I wasn't about to start talking about one girl when I was in bed with another one but I decided to humour her, "Deal. Ladies first."

Enno took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "Alright. It all started in October..."

Her story was one I'd heard before. Typical one girl starts doing something good with her life and all her so called friends get jealous and bitchy about it. I hadn't seen these other girls dance but if Enno was chosen for the lead role in the winter showcase then it was because she was better than them. If scouts from the various dance companies singled Enno out for extra attention then instead of being bitter and horrible these other girls should have worked harder to be noticed too. It was hardly Enno's fault that she was more talented than them. What was she supposed to do? Bring herself down to their level to boost their self-esteem? "They're just jealous," I told her.

"I know, my mom said that too. It's just that... We used to be such good friends. They obviously weren't real friends and I can take it if they want to ignore me, but I really hate the negative things they say. Especially the rumours."

"They talk about you behind your back?"

She nodded, "Mia, the one you saw earlier with the dark hair, was dating the boy who played the Prince. That's the main male lead in The Nutcracker so we danced together a lot. Plus, we had to work on the lifts and that takes extra time. Anyway, you know how late we tend to finish on normal practice nights, never mind when we have rehearsals to run through. He got into the habit of walking me home. He was only being nice, making sure I got home safe. You can imagine how Mia took that. Then he broke up with her in January and she blamed me. She said I'd been sleeping with him when I absolutely was not. Ever since then it's become almost like a game of theirs to add new names to the list of guys I've supposedly slept with."

"Don't they have anything better to do with their lives?" Girls could be bitchy at the best of times but throw the guy they liked into the mix and it got so much worse. As far as I knew, Enno wasn't a slut and even if she did sleep around I was confident it would never be with someone's boyfriend. That kind of behaviour didn't match her personality at all.

"They seem pretty content to ruin mine. At least we don't go the same school," she said softly.

I squeezed her into a tight hug. "Wont they feel stupid when you're accepted into a professional company and leave them all behind in the dust."

Enno shrugged and I knew she wasn't totally convinced. "Right, I'm done. So spill. What's keeping you up at night Gray? I know you weren't cruising past my dance studio by accident."

I understood a hint to change the subject when I heard one. To my surprise, sometime during her story I'd gotten over not wanting to tell Enno anything. She was hardly going to freak out about me thinking about another girl and for some reason the vibe between us felt really good. I wanted to tell her about Juvia. Her reaction was a little surprising though.

"She does what to you?"

"Follows me around and-"

"Oh I heard you! I'm just shocked," she seethed, "What kind of self-respecting woman does that kind of thing? I don't care how much she claims to love you. That is weird. Doesn't it annoy you?"

"Well yeah but-"

"Why haven't her friends told her to stop? Oh my god. I wish I knew this on Saturday. I would have given her a piece of my mind!"

"I think they have told her," I said, vaguely amused by the idea of Enno and Juvia meeting. I had no doubt sparks would fly if that ever happened.

"And you like this girl?"

"Whoa, hold up. I didn't say I _like _her. She's pretty, funny and sweet when she's not freaking me out. I actually consider us friends, in a way. If she wasn't so clingy..." _I'd fuck her in an instant _I thought but didn't say. "Forget the stalking stuff. The real problem is I don't know how to act around her anymore."

"It kind of sounds like you might be a teeny tiny bit interested in this girl."

I thought about denying it but this was Enno. She was hardly going to run and tell all the other girls about what I'd said. "I might be. Strictly physically of course."

"Of course," Enno said and there was absolutely no doubt in her voice which made me feel a lot better. If she'd pulled a Cana move on me I'd have considered my life officially over. "If you want my advice then you need to keep telling her it's not okay for her to stalk you. It's creepy and sounds more like an unhealthy obsession than love."

"I guess."

"Why do you sound so cavalier about this?"

I shrugged, "I'm use to it. Sure it annoys me, sometimes I feel angry about it and other times I wished she'd just go away but it's gotten to the point now that I notice more when she's _not _there. Because she's usually always there. It's like when you purposely set your clock five minutes fast so that you won't be late and someone comes and changes it to the correct time. All of a sudden you're late to everything because your normal sense of time has been thrown off." I wasn't making any sense, even to myself, but that was how it felt. I'd been thrown off centre by Juvia on Saturday night and every day since then I'd been struggling to regain my sense of balance. I had never thought about how peculiar it was to have Juvia following me around. It was just something that happened all the time. Enno reached out and turned her bedside table lamp on and gave me a quizzical look.

"You do like it," she said accusingly.

"No I don't. I said I'm use to it. That's different."

"But if she stopped, you'd miss it. It would 'throw you off'."

I shrugged, "I suppose I'd get use to her not doing it, eventually."

Enno laughed, "Oh my gosh. I was wondering when this would happen to you."

"What?"

"No-th-ing," she said a singsong lilt in her voice that said 'I know something you don't know.'

"Enno."

"Okay," she said suddenly serious again, "I will help you out. Whether you like it or not, I stand by the statement that she needs to cut that stalker crap out. As for you, treat her the way you feel like treating her. If her reaction is the same anyway then don't force yourself to act around her. If she's being too clingy and annoying you, say so but if you feel like being nice to her than be nice to her."

"But-"

"No buts. You always pretend that you don't care about any girl but you're so careful to only hook up with ones you know you won't hurt. If you've met someone who makes you feel something then you should go after her."

"I don't feel anything for Juvia," I said, slightly annoyed. This was beginning to sound like a watered down, nice version of Cana's speech.

"Yes, you do. Even if it's just lust, that's still a feeling."

How exasperating. "But if I treat her the way I am with other girls... What I mean is she won't react like you. She won't think it's just for fun."

"Then don't do it for fun."

I let out a long breath, "You know I don't get into relationships and if I was going to it definitely wouldn't be with Juvia. She's a pain in the ass."

"Things change. I think you might find yourself thinking differently if you stop fighting the inevitable."

"The inevitable?"

Enno shrugged, "Nobody chooses how, when or with who they fall in love."

I groaned, "Not you too. I am never, ever, falling in love with Juvia or anybody. Especially Juvia. Ever."

Enno only smiled and flicked the lamp back off. "I know you'll do the right thing," she said cryptically and snuggled into me.

I sighed and pulled her closer. Treat Juvia how I wanted to. That would make my life even more complicated than it already was. It seemed like my only option though. I really couldn't see myself faking disinterest in her. The last few days it'd been hard enough trying to ignore her. Before last weekend, my apathy towards her would have been genuine but now, I found myself watching her all the time. Damn her for becoming so fucking pretty!

* * *

_Two days later_

It was early Friday morning, there was a bright yellow butterfly clip in my hair and I felt glorious. Gray-sama and I finally had a normal conversation yesterday! He still seemed reluctant to be near me and his eyes rarely met mine but it was such a relief after days of being ignored and avoided. I spent ten seconds making sure the bow on my present for him was perfectly straight. I'd been so happy I couldn't resist putting my love for Gray-sama into some chocolate chip cookies. They were safely packaged in a mason jar so they wouldn't crumble to pieces. All I had to do was give them to him. I breezed into his homeroom and promptly bumped into a younger girl.

"Sorry sempai," she said giving me a slight bow. Her dark blue hair reminded me of Wendy for a second but the colour of this girl's school ribbon identified her as a freshman whilst Wendy was still in middle school so my confusion was only momentary.

"Don't worry," I replied cheerfully and continued on my way. I stopped in front of Gray-sama's desk and the smile that had seemed permanently plastered on my face faded instantly. There was a gift already there. It was beautiful wrapped in thick, gold cloth with a perfect bow on top. Obviously done by a girl and not just any girl. One with steady hands and a great eye for beauty. My good mood evaporated instantly. My simple gift looked boring and plain next to this extravagance.

Who _dared _make a move like this on my Gray-sama?

I stared mutinously at the box but it didn't spontaneously combust like I would have hoped. A card was tucked under the bow. My hands moved of their own accord, rotating the present around so I could read the message. _Thanks for everything Gray. Love, Katja. _My eyes registered the round, curvy letters written in delicate cursive, the little heart instead of a dot over the letter J. I sucked in a sharp breath. Every five seconds I got another love rival. It was so annoying. "Who left this?" The question was out of my mouth before I could stop myself.

In all my excitement, I'd rushed ahead of all the other girls to get here super early so the classroom was all but deserted. Lucy was there though, completely absorbed in her phone to the point that she hadn't even noticed me. She looked up at the sound of my voice and shrugged, "Morning, Juvia. There was a freshman here earlier looking for Gray's desk. I guess someone has a little crush."

I saw red. Took a deep breath. Told myself she was only a little kid. Not real competition. Breathe Juvia, breathe. I tried counting slowly to ten. I made it to four then abandoned reasonable thought, picked up the box and chased after that girl. The hallway was filling up and I was going the wrong way, trying to get down the stairs while all the other seniors were coming up them. I leaned over the banister and saw short, blue hair two turns below me. "Hey, Katja!" I yelled and she looked up at me with wide brown eyes. "Don't move," I ordered her and a look approaching panic flitted across her face.

* * *

Surprisingly, yesterday hadn't been so bad. Enno's advice seemed to be working. I'd avoided eye-fucking Juvia for most of the day and since I wasn't over thinking every word and action I felt a lot less stressed. Juvia was being Juvia. She hadn't changed. I had. For some reason, knowing she'd always be her same self made me feel a lot more in control. I had, however, ignored some of Enno's advice. I was never going to tell Juvia to stop following me around for one simple reason. No matter how much I lusted after her, she'd always do something stupid or annoying and effectively shoot herself in the foot. As long as she kept being quirky, even if more situations like the one at Risley's party cropped up, I could always trust her to turn me off in some way before things got too far. The plan was foolproof. I could subtly check her out, dabble with the thought of maybe giving in to this stupid craving I had for her body and then be jerked back to reality whenever Juvia did something outlandish. At worst I might succumb to kissing her but I figured that'd be okay. Surely, I wouldn't be her first kiss. She was eighteen for goodness sake. A kiss might be a big deal to her but it wasn't serious enough that I'd feel like a bastard and if I convinced her not to tell anyone... Yeah, I felt much better than I had before.

I'd more or less resolved my problem, other people weren't so lucky. I looked to my left at Jellal and then to my right at Erza. I'd bumped into them at the bottom of the stairs. There was nothing but anxious silence from him and equally silent smugness from her. Erza had that expression on her face a woman wears when she knows she's got you by the balls and you can't escape. On the average woman it spelt bad news, with Erza it was a omen of impending disaster. The tension between the two of them was ridiculous and there I was, sandwiched between them. I loosened two more of the buttons on my shirt and prayed all three of us made it to our homeroom in one piece.

* * *

"Look kid, Juvia knows Gray-sama is the most amazing, wonderful guy in the whole world but Juvia would really appreciate it if you kept your schoolgirl crush to yourself. You know, observe him from a distance or something. Gift giving to Gray-sama is patented by Juvia."

Katja blinked. When I'd caught up to her she'd been full of apologies for bumping into me, as if that was the issue. I don't know what there was for her to be confused about but she had nothing to say about imposing on my Gray-sama. She seemed vaguely familiar too, now that I was getting a better look at her. I sighed and shoved the box into her arms, "Here, take it."

She looked down at the box and then up at me, even more confusion spreading over her face. "But this is for Gray."

"No," I said patiently, "It's not."

"Yes, it is."

Persistent little thing. "He doesn't want it. He won't be interested in a lolita."

"L-lo-lolita," she stammered, turning an alarming shade of red.

"Morning, Katja, Juvia," said Gray-sama turning the corner of the stairs with Jellal and Erza. His shirt was almost completely unbuttoned and he had his hands casually shoved in his pockets. So hot!

* * *

Katja looked down at me with wide eyes and a tomato red face. She let out a raspy little cry, dropped the box she was holding and crossed her arms over her chest. The box hit the top stair and flip-flopped down several more like a slinky I remembered owing as a kid. Above the noise in the hallway there was the obvious sound of broken glass, made worse by each revolution of the box. A few students dodged out of its path, trying not to step on it, and I rushed up a few stairs to halt its progress. A card had come flying out of the box and Jellal handed it to me. "Sorry, I startled you and now your gift sounds broken." I didn't know why she was so jumpy today. It was weird. "Thanks anyway. Is it something we could fix?"

Katja's bottom lip trembled and a single tear rolled down her cheek. Fucking hell. Every time I showed up somewhere a girl was crying. They were really out to get me this week. Erza went into full on mother mode. She denied it, and hide it well, but she was an older sister to all the girls in the younger years. They more or less worshipped her as their idol. Violent tendencies aside, I figured she was a pretty good role model. She whisked Katja away down the hall, one arm over the younger girl's shoulders, saying something low and soft to her.

"What the hell was that about?" Jellal asked.

I looked down at the box and shrugged. "No idea."

Juvia smiled and waved at me. I let her take my arm as we walked up the rest of the stairs. Pretended not to notice her shoving cookies into my school bag. I always claimed not to want the things she made but the truth was she was a great cook. "Your hair clip is pretty," I said and Juvia glowed.

* * *

"So for the exam don't just write down everything you remember but make sure your answer is relevant to the question. Natsu, I'm talking to you." There was gentle laughter and our biology teacher started writing a list of revision topics on the board. It was the last day of classes for the seniors. After today we'd be on study leave. A few busy weeks of revision, a few tense days of exams then it was nothing but prom, graduation and one last fun packed summer before we went to college. My mind couldn't help wondering if I'd be Gray-sama's girlfriend by then. If I played this right, if I kept pushing this change in our relationship, maybe, just maybe...

A whirlwind of brown hair and uniform erupted through the door of the classroom. Our teacher sighed, "Coco, how many times do I have to tell you not to run. And knock!"

Coco executed a flawless salute and whipped out her notebook, "Sorry!" The teachers complained about her running but that didn't stop them using her as the schools unofficial messenger. "Juvia Lockser," she announced.

I raised my hand, slightly surprised. "Erza-sempai wants to see you." There was a low murmur and I felt everyone's eyes on me. Being summoned by the student council president in the middle of class was usually a bad thing. Especially since Erza and I were such good friends. She could talk to me whenever she wanted to. "Okay," I flashed an easy smile, even though butterflies danced in my stomach.

Keeping up with Coco was impossible so I made my own way from the science block over to the student council room. Erza was behind her desk, twirling a pen around and around. She gave me a serious look which confirmed my suspicions that this was not a casual girly get together. I instantly feared the worse. All year I'd been worried that someone would find out about my past. Makarov-sensei had said it was unlikely but unlikely didn't mean impossible.

"Erza-san..."

"Sit," she said and sighed. "I'm use to telling the boys off. I've given up reforming Cana's drinking. I didn't think I'd ever have to talk to you."

"If this is about Oak Town, Juvia can explain. Please don't tell Gray-sama," I said in a rush.

"Oak Town? This is about this morning. With Katja."

Oh. "That girl with the crush on Gray-sama?"

"No, the girl who was traumatised when you called her a lolita," Erza said with her usual point blank abruptness.

I opened my mouth to deny it, at least the traumatised bit, but Erza continued. "I know it's funny when we tease Levy about being one. Still, you have to remember that other people outside our circle of friends won't know it's a joke. Katja is fourteen and very shy. She used to be home-schooled, has made hardly any close friends and one of the few people she's opened up to this year is Gray. You come along and tell a sensitive girl that she's acting like a lolita. Is it any wonder she freaked out? She's more or less convinced herself that Gray's been nice to her all year because she acts flirty around him. Which, for your information, she doesn't. I had to send her home, she was crying so much."

Shit. I felt horrible. I hadn't thought Katja would react like that. "Juvia is really sorry," I tapped my index fingers together, "Juvia doesn't like other girls giving presents to Gray-sama."

"It was only a thank you gift for how he's helped her in the art club this year. Juvia, we all know how much you like Gray, but if your feelings for him turn you into a mean girl then you need to check yourself."

I nodded, thoroughly ashamed. I'd known at the time that Katja wasn't real competition for me. I just couldn't help myself. "Juvia will try harder to not get jealous." I could admit it. Jealousy was a feeling I'd become very familiar with this year. All the girls Gray flirted with and slept with had made me insecure about myself.

"Good. You can start this afternoon by writing a letter of apology," Erza said pushing a red slip across the desk at me.

"Eh? Detention? But it's Friday! Juvia has never missed watching Gray-sama train!"

"First time for everything."

"Erza, please." This was the absolute worst.

"Sorry Juvia. This is the last day of term for us so there's no other time for you to do it anyway. Remember what I told you on your first day? Magnolia High has a zero tolerance policy on bullying."

"Juvia wasn't-" Ah, _that_ look from Erza. In the interest of self-preservation, I shut up.

* * *

Lunch was a quiet affair. Down one end of the table, Lucy and Natsu were lost in their own little world, sharing a set of earphones and listening to god knows what. Across from them, Levy was tutoring Gajeel, as usual. There'd hardly been a moment over the last month that I hadn't seen their heads together over some book. Her voice was soft as she pointed out how to rearrange one of our maths equations. His forehead was furrowed with concentration. If Gajeel didn't make it to college it wouldn't be for lack of trying.

Next to Levy, Erza was eating sushi. She still had that same look on her face from this morning and was humming to herself between bites. Her legs were crossed and she was swinging her top foot. Every few seconds her shoe bumped against my leg under the table. It was slightly annoying but kind of cute too. Juvia was sitting next to Erza, picking at her lunch. She seemed down. Which made two of my friends since on this side of the table Jellal, who was sitting next to me, had spent most of lunch staring at Erza like a lost puppy. I was wedged at the end of the table with Mr. Lonely, Miss. Pensive and Miss. Smug. I should have snuck away for a drink with Cana.

I resisted the urge to sigh and smoothed out the sketch Katja had given me. A pretty good likeness of her and me in soft charcoal. The frame had been broken beyond redemption. A wreck of shattered glass and twisted wood. I'd gone looking for her, to check she was okay, but been told she'd gone home. Erza kicked me again, yanking me from my thoughts. I caught her shoe in my hand and pulled it off. Within seconds I was tickling her foot. She squirmed and laughed, "Gray! Stop it!"

"Quit kicking me girl!"

"I'll stop! I'll stop! Gray, please! I can't breathe!"

I pulled off her sock, freeing her toes, determined to keep it up until she begged for mercy. Everyone on our table was laughing. Well, not everyone. Jellal looked horrified and Juvia was giving me a look that sent a shiver down my spine. It was the same one from Saturday night. That look of total anger, directed straight at me. I stopped tickling Erza, her foot resting in my lap. Erza was still laughing, trying to catch her breath. Her hair tie had come loose sending her crimson hair cascading over her shoulders. She looked outrageously pretty and truly happy for the first time all week.

Jellal took Erza's ankle in one hand, and her sock in another. She slowly stopped laughing as he eased her sock back on. "I guess flirting with Gray makes you happy," he said softly.

Erza jerked her foot out of his grasp. Her voice was caustic as she said, "I can think of things that would make me happier."

Damn. What was up with these two?

Juvia propped her chin up on one arm and gave them a bored look, "You call that flirting? On Saturday Gray-sama almost kis-"

Oh hell no.

* * *

I'd never seen Gray-sama move so fast. He grabbed my arm, jerked me out of my chair and literally marched me out of the cafeteria. I heard someone, maybe Natsu, asking where we were going but Gray wasn't stopping for anyone. He dragged me down the hall. I didn't care. I'd been trying so hard this week, this month, this year, for his attention. What had I gotten out of it? I'd become so tangled up in him that I was willing to pick a fight with a freshman over a silly little gift. Katja went home crying and Gray ended up with her present anyway. For the first time I wondered if maybe I was a little over the top when it came to Gray-sama. I mean, really, what had I been thinking this morning?

Gray jerked open a random door. It was some kind of storage cupboard, rammed with mops, brooms and other cleaning supplies. Bizarrely, he shoved me in and shut the door. "What is Gray-sama doing?"

"What am I doing? What the hell are you doing?" He hissed at me. In the confined space our bodies were close, chests touching every time we breathed. I had to tilt my head back to look into his eyes. The deep blue orbs pierced me, pinning me where I was even more than his hands gripping my upper arms.

This was why. Because I'd do anything for him to always look at me, only me. Literally, anything.

* * *

Juvia looked unbearably sad. Her anger had gone so fast I wondered if I'd imagined it. The bare light bulb above us swung slowly to and fro, giving off a weak yellow glow and casting eerie shadows. I wasn't thinking when I dragged her in here. I just knew I wanted to get her out of sight before she spilled the truth about Saturday but now we were alone and she was so close to me. Too close. I could smell her perfume, feel her trembling. I ran my hands gently up and down her arms, "What's wrong with you?"

"Juvia is sad."

"Yeah, I got that." I didn't want to ask why. It'd probably be something like 'Gray-sama is ignoring me'. I didn't care, not really. Well, maybe a little if I was honest.

Treat her how you want to, Enno's words echoed in my head.

* * *

Gray's hands travelled down my arms again but this time his fingers found mine. He leaned into me and we were face to face, chest to chest, palm to palm. I stopped breathing.

"Don't cry. I hate it when girls cry." Gray's forehead came to rest against mine. My lungs burned and for a moment we were sharing even the same air. I had to wonder if this was an elaborate dream.

"Gray-sama do you think Juvia is a mean girl?"

"No. I'm not friends with any mean girls."

I squeezed his hands and felt a thrill when he returned the gesture. "So... We're friends?"

"Of course."

"Really? You kiss all of the girls you're friends with?" It was a leading question. Gray was a flirt but there was an obvious line between girls he'd get with and girls he wouldn't. I had a suspicion that I was on the edge of switching groups.

He leaned back from me, "I didn't kiss you."

True enough. "Gray-sama _almost_ kissed Juvia."

"Almost never makes it, as Grace would say." He flashed me his signature smile and my knees went weak.

"Gray-sama wanted to kiss Juvia?"

* * *

I shrugged, "Maybe, maybe not." Unsurprisingly, Juvia was cheering up fast. Nobody lasted this long with an unrequited love without a certain level of resiliency. I wiggled my hands free of hers but in this small space there was no way to escape her nearness. Yet again I was slapped in the face by how pretty she was.

The how, where and when was a mystery to me but going by my now textbook reaction to her it was only a matter of time before Juvia would get her kiss. Which meant I had to lay down the ground rules now. "Juvia."

"Yes, Gray-sama."

"I don't like girls that kiss and tell." She nodded automatically then her eyes widened with understanding.

"Juvia will remember from now on but Gray-sama, Juvia's only been _almost_ kissed. Perhaps Gray-sama should finish the job. You know, so Juvia has something to not tell about."

I _almost_ laughed. "Alright. Close your eyes."


	8. Mean Girls (Part III)

_A/N: Let's get the New Year started with a bang._

_I do not own Fairy Tail. _

_Chapter 7 - Mean Girls (Part Three)_

_Friday_

"Hey Gray, your biggest fan isn't hanging about outside today."

I smirked and laced my boots tighter, "She's probably still recovering."

Gajeel's eyes met mine across the changing room. "Relax," I said, "Juvia's perfectly fine."

* * *

"Earth to Juvia. Anybody in there?"

I snapped my eyes open to see Cana trying to hand me a glass of something cherry red and no doubt alcoholic.

"What's up with you? You've been acting strange all day. Especially since lunch."

Lunch. Gray-sama's kisses. I'd stood there in that dusty closet, eyes closed, patiently waiting for my kiss. I had and hadn't gotten it. A shiver ran down my spine at the memory. "Juvia is fine," I told Cana as I accepted the glass. It was a lie. I was anything but fine.

Gray-sama had placed a single kiss in the centre of my right palm. I'd felt disappointment first, then he'd kissed my wrist, right over my racing pulse. The soft skin on the inside of my elbow was next. One kiss on my shoulder, burning through my school shirt as if I was naked. Three in a row up my neck. By then his arm around my waist was the only thing keeping me on my feet. My cheek was next. Followed by my forehead. Both my closed eyes. Nose. I was desperately trying to control my breathing, conscious of how loud it sounded in this tiny box of a room. My lips parted, eager, wanting, craving him and he'd skipped them. Jumped straight to my other cheek and back down my neck, retracing an equal but opposite path to the centre of my left palm.

I think my system overloaded and went into shock then. By the time I got a hold of myself, Gray-sama was halfway out the door. He'd smirked at me and held a finger to his lips, "Shh."

Wait. What? Had he really done that to me?

He had. My skin tingled with the memory of his touch. Heart raced every time I thought of it. I ached for him. Secret longing sent sparks through my body. I wanted his kisses. On my lips, my breasts, my thighs. Every sensitive spot he'd missed. Oh god. This was somehow worse than being ignored by Gray-sama. I was wound tight as a spring, anxious for more.

Straight after detention, I'd fled down the halls but it was too late. Gray-sama was gone. Leaving me with nothing but empty promises of what could be. I shifted uncomfortably on Cana's bedroom floor. Images of Gray and I tangled in bed together were making my facade of normalcy nearly impossible to maintain. I kept spacing out. After all, I had no fucking clue what I was doing here.

The girls, Levy, Lucy and Erza, were going to a party tomorrow. It'd taken me two seconds to conclude that Gray-sama wasn't going and therefore neither was I. There was a perceptible buzz of excitement in the air and I doubted anyone but Cana had noticed my lack of involvement. I forced myself to refocus on the conversation.

"Jellal is going to go crazy," Lucy was saying.

"That's the plan," said Erza. She'd been doing something with a pair of scissors. A handful of denim cut-offs was piled at her side. "Tada!" She held up the tiniest shorts I'd ever seen in my life.

Levy gasped, "Your ass is going to be on show."

"Yup," said Erza, unperturbed. I guess she was fearless in more ways than one.

In, what seemed to me, a sharp twist of the conversation Lucy asked, "Are you a virgin Juvia?"

Nani? I'd obviously missed something important while I busy fantasising about Gray-sama sneaking into my dorm room in the dead of night.

"Oh my God, Lucy. You can't just ask that," Cana said, dumping a load of nail polish on her rug.

"Why not? We're all friends."

"Juvia doesn't mind. I'm not one."

"Erza's last then," Lucy said clapping her hands excitedly.

"Not for much longer," Erza stripped off her clothes and pulled the shorts on. Levy was right. Her ass was hanging out. She looked good though, in nothing but the denim shorts and her black lace bra. "This is what I'll wear tomorrow. It'll be my bikini, not my bra of course."

"I totally just fell in love with you!" Lucy squealed. "You have to tell me the whole story on Sunday. I want to know _everything_."

Cana sighed and Levy rolled her eyes. Lucy's interest in gossip, especially anything about love or sex, was legendary. Lucy turned to me, "Juvia, what was your first time like?"

Four sets of eyes stared at me, "Uh, well, you know..."

"No, I don't know. That's why I'm asking. So?"

"Umm..." It wasn't a very good memory of mine.

"Just tell her," said Levy. "She won't shut up until you spill everything. She nagged me for three days straight until I caved."

Lucy nodded enthusiastically, "Me with Natsu, Levy with Gajeel, Cana with-"

"Stop! That name is not to be mentioned in my house," Cana said turning red.

"It wasn't Gray-sama right?" I had to ask, mild panic fluttering through me.

"Hell no! You don't know the guy. I was young and stupid and I think it's time for more alcohol and a change of subject." Cana went around topping up everyone's drinks.

"Anyway," Lucy persisted, "It can't be any worse than Levy's story so tell us Juvia."

It was Levy's turn to blush. "It wasn't that bad," she mumbled.

"He made you cry."

"Gajeel-kun did what?" I hadn't heard that story. It wasn't exactly something Gajeel and I would have talked about.

"Don't say it like that. You make it sound worse than it was. It wasn't his fault." Levy covered her face with her hands, "This is not about me. I agree with Lucy, let's hear Juvia's story."

_Let's not, _was all I could think. Thankfully Erza chipped in with, "Did it hurt that much?" Something clicked in the back of my mind, adding up everything to make a complete picture. Erza was planning on sleeping with Jellal at the party this weekend. Hence, the revealing shorts and the first time stories.

Levy groaned, "It was... I was really nervous and... Ugh... He's like..." She waved her hands vaguely in the air.

Cana started giggling, "He's pretty tall."

"His feet are big too," Lucy started giggling as well.

"Maybe all of him is-"

"Ah! Leave us alone!" Levy picked up a pillow and the fight was on. Five minutes later we tumbled onto the floor together, all out of breath and laughing. "Don't worry about it Erza," Levy said. "Our first time was a little awkward but it's great now."

"I'm not worried. I just don't get why Jellal won't answer my letter. I think he feels something for me, I mean, I hope he does, but he's been acting like an ass all week."

"Well, he'll be speechless for a completely different reason tomorrow," Cana said poking Erza in the stomach.

A party, tiny shorts and Erza's singular determination to get the man she wanted. I had no doubt that by Monday Jellal and Erza would be a couple. For real this time. I felt a little flicker of jealousy. Gray-sama had gone from ignoring me to toying with me. This whole week I'd been up and down, not sure if I was coming or going, did he like me or not, want me or not. One moment I was sure, the next I hadn't a clue. He was probably with some random girl right now, not thinking of me at all. I separated myself from the pile of warm arms and legs, and reclaimed my drink. I'd been at a party, worn my tiny dress and had plenty of determination. After nearly a year of effort I'd finally made it onto the endless list of girls Gray-sama was willing to flirt with. I should have been happy but somehow it wasn't enough. All the excitement from Monday was gone. This was a tease. I wouldn't be happy until Gray-sama was mine alone. I sipped my drink and tried not to imagine Gray's body over mine, his kisses on my neck, tongue on my skin...

* * *

_Saturday_

"Have a good time. Be safe dear."

"Okay Mom, bye!" Enno took my hand and dragged me down a set of stairs. I'd sat quietly through her audition, made small talk with her parents while we ate posh looking canapés and sipped champagne at the after 'party' Enno had invited me to and now we were at the _real_ after party. It was in a seedy, underground club with the unoriginal name of 'The Crypt'. I'd never been before but I could see why the artsy set of people Enno hung out with would party here. The decor was questionable, the music the wrong side of mainstream and, in a word, the place was quirky. It was also crammed with people from Enno's studio. Mainly girls. Every five seconds Enno was hugging some new friend and getting all excited over someone's hair or dress or shoes. At this rate we'd never make it to the bar. I slid my arm around her waist, told her I'd be right back and extricated myself from all the batting eyelashes and suggestive looks. I'd always thought it was bad form when I showed up somewhere with a girl and all her friends promptly began checking me out but it happened all the time. Tonight was no exception.

I elbowed my way to the bar and ended up shoulder to shoulder with an okay looking redhead. Most guys probably would have said she was way better than okay but knowing a redhead like Erza meant I set the bar higher for girls with that particular hair colour. She smiled at me and I noted her green eyes, the sprinkling of freckles. A classic cutie but I wasn't interested. Unfortunately she'd decided she was most definitely interested in me. She struck up a conversation and since I had nothing better to do while I waited to catch the barman's eye, I talked back.

Her name was Aurora, like Sleeping Beauty, or so she told me. She was eighteen, had been dancing ballet and jazz since she was four and in two minutes flat I knew she was a total airhead. Every other word out of her mouth was 'like' or 'totally' and she giggled a lot. She squeezed my bicep and asked if I worked out. I was bored out of my mind. I grabbed my drinks, turned around and bumped straight into someone I never would have thought to see here.

* * *

The bouncer at the door had leery eyes that followed me as I walked down the sticky steps. Inside, I thought the skulls on the walls were bizarre and the scattered fake candles a little tacky. Not my kind of place but it's not like I was here for my own amusement. For the second weekend in a row I was at a party full of girls, looking for Gray-sama. Hopefully this time I'd be stealing him away from Enno instead of the other way around.

Last night, having successfully dodged the bullet that was Lucy's curiosity, I'd found out some things about Enno that made me dislike her even more. Apparently Gray-sama had spent all of last summer with her. The whole three months. What the fuck? I'd never known him to spend two weeks with the same girl. Cana's claim that Enno was the closest thing Gray ever had to a real girlfriend seemed true. I finally had some of Gray-sama attention. I wasn't about to be railroaded by anybody. I figured it was time Enno and I had a little conversation.

"Excuse me, do you know where Enno is?"

* * *

"Where's Juvia?"

I stared, "Lyon, what the fuck are you doing here?"

He tilted his phone at me revealing a Facebook status update from Enno with me tagged in it. "I asked around. Apparently my angel really does go wherever you go. So where is my sweet?"

For fucks sake. He had to be kidding me. "Look man, I haven't seen her." Although she probably was here somewhere.

"Why hasn't she called me?" Lyon took my beer right out of my hand and I turned back to the bar, biting back a sigh.

"Maybe she doesn't like you."

"What's not to like?"

Cocky bastard. Aurora giggled and waved at him. "Sorry, I'm engaged," he said.

This was going to be a long night.

* * *

It was surprisingly easy. The first girl I asked replied, "Enno? I just saw her in the dungeon room. The one with the red flashing lights and the big bar."

The dungeon room was aptly named. There were shackles and chains hanging from the ceiling. Cobwebs in every corner. The DJ was dressed as Dracula, black cape and all. I felt like I was at a Halloween party. I paused at the edge of the dance floor, waiting for each pulse of the red lights to search the crowd. A hand closed around my wrist, spinning me around.

"Juvia, darling!"

"L-L-Lyon?" All the air in my lungs was being hugged out of me.

"Why haven't you called me? I missed you," he said leaving one arm firmly around my shoulders.

"Juvia was, umm, busy? Gray-sama..."

"Hey, Juvia. Fancy meeting you here."

Gray's sarcasm wasn't lost on me. Neither was his wink. My heart jumped. Then an unfamiliar redhead popped up from behind him, "Hi! I'm Aurora. This place is like, totally amazing tonight!"

Oh great. Another love rival. "Juvia thought Gray-sama was here with Enno."

Aurora's pretty face morphed into something scary. "That bitch is here? Oh. My. God. Mia is like, going to freak out." She whipped out her phone and started texting like crazy.

Gray frowned, "Mia."

"There you are," Enno appeared and kissed my Gray-sama full on the mouth.

* * *

Well, this was going to be fun. Lyon would be hitting on Juvia. Juvia and Enno, I didn't even know what was going to happen there, and on top of that I suspected Aurora might be one of the girls who disliked Enno. Talk about intertwining fates.

I gave Enno a quick kiss then handed her the drink I'd brought for her. Avoided looking at Juvia. I didn't want to see her reaction. In fact it was a little hard to be near Juvia at all. She'd looked so hot yesterday. Eyes closed, out of breath, blushing from all the tiny kisses I'd given her. Her skin was so pale, blue veins easily traceable from her wrist right up to the point they disappeared under the sleeve of her school shirt. I'd felt like taking advantage of her in that stupidly small closet. Follow that map of blue lines and kiss every place they led me to. Every place. Yet, Juvia was so innocent, so trusting. Probably had no clue at the wicked thoughts that went running through my mind when the soft curves of her body were in my arms. She'd given into me so easily yesterday but that only meant more pressure for me to know when to stop. I only wanted to have a taste of Juvia, not break her heart into pieces. I was walking a thin line with her and I knew it, but I wasn't able to completely control myself.

"Like, what are you doing here?" Aurora pouted.

"It's the end of season studio party. Everyone is here," Enno rolled her eyes.

"Mia told you to like, not come!"

"Mia is not the boss of me."

"I'm totally telling."

"How old are you? Grow up already."

Aurora tossed her hair and flounced off. Enno gave me a tiny smile, "Why does it feel like she's going to be back?"

"We could leave," I suggested.

"No way. They can't tell me where I can and can't go."

* * *

So Enno was disliked by more girls than just me. I wasn't surprised. She was definitely a bitch. "Juvia wants to talk to you."

Enno smiled at me. Smiled. Like we were friends. "Juvia. I want to talk to you too. About Gray."

"Enno, please..."

"Oh relax Gray. I'll be nice," she stuck her tongue out at him. Such a brazen flirt.

I wasn't going to be nice. "Gray-sama belongs to Juvia!"

"Okay, nice talking to you all. Lyon, why don't you take Juvia to the bar, buy her a drink. Make it a double. We're going this way." Gray grabbed Enno's arm and pulled her away.

"Gray-sama!" I was so annoyed but Lyon's arm was heavy around my shoulders, guiding me in the opposite direction.

"This is like a double date," Lyon said cheerfully and his happiness at being with me was so obvious. I wiped the scowl off my face. None of this was his fault.

* * *

"Are you crazy?" I demanded.

"I was only going to tell her to chill out a bit," Enno said with a laugh.

"Juvia will go mental. She's over the top about everything. Trust me, she won't want your advice." It'd been an amusing thought a few days ago but now I desperately didn't want Enno and Juvia to spend more than five seconds in each other's presence. "Juvia and I are fine. We've come to an... understanding. Kind of."

"Understanding huh? I guess I'm going home alone tonight."

"Well, I wouldn't say that."

"Oh Gray," Enno placed a hand on my cheek, "I'm going home alone tonight. I don't need any more drama in my life and," her voice changed, "Gray-sama belongs to Juvia!"

I laughed, "She always says stuff like that."

"Sounds like she means it. Is she nice? I mean when she's not being possessive. I want you to be with a nice girl."

Enno still had this ridiculous notion that I actually liked Juvia. "I suppose she- Hey, watch it!" It was too late. The girl walking towards us tripped and spilled her drink all over Enno.

The dark haired girl gave a gasp, "Oh my, I'm _so _sorry." She sure didn't sound sorry.

"Mia. I see you're tripping over air now," Enno sighed and held the wet fabric off her skin.

Mia. Long dark hair, almond shaped eyes, a typical dancer's body. One of the mean girls spreading rumours about Enno. "You did that on purpose, didn't you?"

"Who me? Of course not. What's the problem? An easy girl like her should be use to feeling wet."

My mouth dropped open. How could a girl so pretty say something that crude? I couldn't even come up with a response. All I could think was that Enno must have played the whole situation down. If this Mia girl had the nerve to say that kind of shit to Enno's face then I could only imagine what was said behind her back.

"So who's this?" Mia jerked her thumb at me, "The son of one of today's judges? I know that's how you like to get ahead. On your back, not your pointe shoes."

"I never-" Enno started but I'd heard enough. "Don't fucking talk to her like that. Who the hell do you think you are?"

Mia smirked, "I know who I am and what she is." She walked away throwing a single word over her shoulder, "Slut."

I made it two steps before Enno tugged me to a halt, "Let it go, Gray."

"No fucking way, Enno. That bitch has been talking to you like that all this time?"

"Its fine."

"It's not fine!"

"It is! Please, you'll only make it worse. One more month and I'm out of here. Please, Gray, for me?"

I couldn't say no when she was looking at me like that, "Why didn't you tell me? You made it seem like it wasn't a big deal."

"I just... I'll handle it."

"You shouldn't have to, Enno."

"Can we not fight please? We always have fun together right? So let's have fun. Please."

Enno shifted anxiously and even though I felt like doing otherwise I backed down. "Okay. Fun." If that's what she wanted then that's what she'd get.

"Good," she said with relief. "Um... sit there," Enno pointed to a red booth at the side of the room, "And I'll go dry off."

I watched her head for the bathroom and then ignored the booth in favour of following Mia. I was going to put an end to this stupid bitchiness.

* * *

Lyon-san was charming, funny and sort of reminded me of Gray-sama. I couldn't really be mad around him. We sat on stools by the side of the bar and I let him distract me with stories of his childhood. He and Gray had been rivals since they were seven and had been placed in the same foster home. I secretly thought that they only fought so much because they were so similar. Or maybe it was a guy thing. Natsu and Gray fought like cats and dogs but were the best of friends. Men sure did express their friendships in a weird way.

"I really like you, Juvia. Could I take you out some time?" His fingers raced across the table to play with mine.

I smiled, "Sure, Lyon-san. Juvia would like to be friends."

He shook his head, "Baby, I don't want to be _friends _with you."

Oh. I guess his confession last weekend had been real. "Eto, Juvia likes Gray-sama so Juvia really couldn't date Lyon."

"Maybe I could change your mind."

"Juvia doesn't think so," I said firmly.

"Well, do you mind if I try? I want to get to know you."

"We can be friends."

"Hmm. Friends."

For some reason, it was then that I blushed. I sipped my drink and glanced away from his intense gaze. Enno walked right past us. Chance! "Juvia will be right back."

* * *

I couldn't find Mia anywhere. It was like she'd dropped off the surface of the planet between one room of the club and the next one. In Mia's place I'd found Aurora who clung to me worse than Juvia ever did. For a girl with the name of fairytale princess and the look of a pixie she was annoying as hell. She giggled for the hundredth time, "So are you like the captain of the football team or something? I'd totally make a great cheerleader."

"Like totally," I deadpanned and she giggled even more.

* * *

Enno was in the bathroom drying her hands. No, drying her dress under the dryer. It was a light shade of pink composed of a body hugging bodice and layers after layers of thin, sheer fabric to make a full skirt. I had a little speech prepared but the sight surprised me enough that the first thing I said was, "What happened?"

"I spilled my drink. I wanted to meet you but I get the impression Gray thinks that's a bad idea. He's not here though, so let's have a girl talk."

What was up with the friendliness? "Enno wanted to meet Juvia?"

"Yeah, of course. Gray told me about you. I get that you like him a lot but you should quit following him around. It's weird. Just talk to him. I think he might-"

"Don't. Don't act like you know him." I hated her smiling face, her cheerful tone, how she acted like she was trying to help me out. "Enno is only sleeping with him, like all the other girls. Juvia is not like you or any of them. Juvia loves Gray-sama."

"Okay," Enno dropped her dress and the loud sound of the dryer shut off. "This is what I'm talking about. You can love him without being crazy about it. I get that its weird to talk to someone who's slept with the guy you like but I'm not-"

"Juvia-"

"Will you stop interrupting me? I'm not your enemy. You can't hate every girl Gray's ever been with. The list is far too long."

We stood there in silence staring at each other. A group of girls came in the door, crowding in front of the mirror, fixing their makeup and talking excitedly. Enno grabbed my arm, dragging me around the corner where there were more cubicles but less people. "I was really annoyed at you a few days ago but I know better than anyone not to judge someone based on second hand knowledge. I'm willing to talk to you nicely and come to my own conclusion about what kind of girl you are but if you want to be mean then..." She dropped my arm, shrugged and took a step back.

_...I'm not friends with any mean girls..._

_...if your feelings for him turn you into a mean girl then you need to check yourself..._

Enno was right. I'd decided to hate her for no reason other than her relationship with Gray-sama. Jealousy was a bitch. I wasn't or at least I didn't have to be. I took Erza's advice and checked myself. "Sorry."

Enno smiled again. Was she always like this? Under different circumstances I might have actually liked her. "This will only take a minute so just listen, please. Gray's a really amazing guy and we always have a lot of fun together but he can't keep living like this. I think it'd be great if he had a proper girlfriend but she has to be the right person."

This was strange. I'd been prepared to have an open mind but I wasn't expecting Enno to say that. She talked like she was a true friend of Gray's. "Juvia is definitely that person."

"Are you?"

I tensed, "What-"

"Don't get mad." Enno waited while some girls left and then said, "He stays awake at night thinking about you."

I could feel my face heating up, "Gray-sama does?" Then a suspicious thought came to me, "While he's in bed with you?" What was this girl playing at? Did she really think I wanted to hear that?

"That's irrelevant. The point is, you stress him out. Which is great because I don't think he's ever worried about another girl the way he worries over you. But it's terrible because the things you do are putting him off just enough that he'll never move forward. He'll just procrastinate over what he really wants."

"Wait. Juvia doesn't understand. Why are you telling Juvia all this?"

Enno sighed, "Because Gray is... Not okay. He acts like he is, but he's not. I think the right girl could help him but that girl isn't me. What I have with Gray is great but you love him right? I mean, really love him?"

"Yes. Juvia loves Gray-sama more than anything."

"Then stop being selfish."

"Eh?" I'd been warming up to this girl and then she had to say harsh something like that.

"You follow him around, you throw all your feelings on him. You're a burden to him right now. An annoyance. Sure, he kind of likes you but if you stay the way you are you're no good to him. You'll only convince him relationships are a bad idea and make it that much harder for the next girl."

Nope. I didn't like Enno after all. "Stop talking like you know Gray-sama! Jumping in bed with him every now and then does not make Enno the expert on how Gray-sama feels about things."

"And you are? The expert? Has he told you about his parents?"

I was silent. Of course he hadn't. Gray-sama and I never really talked. I vaguely knew the story. Gray's birth parents had died in some kind of accident. In fact, most of my friends at Magnolia High were orphaned. They didn't talk about it but it was hard not to notice when the school held a two minute memorial silence and half the class was missing because they had the day off to visit their parents graves. Most of them had been back in class the next day, sombre and subdued but present. Gray had disappeared for three full days. Even I couldn't find him. Jellal had told me to let it go. Apparently Gray-sama disappeared like that every year.

"I don't want to be mean and I'm not trying to show off like I know him better. Gray tells me things because he trusts me. I want to make sure you know what you're getting into." Enno's eyes burned into mine, "His father and mother are dead. He stood in the snow and watched them die."

I gasped. I hadn't realised Gray-sama had actually been there. "But Gray-sama was only seven."

Enno nodded, "That kind of shit messes a kid up for life. If that wasn't bad enough a few years later his foster mother died too." She paused, "Don't think I go around telling everyone Gray's personal business but I think you're special to him even if he won't admit it. I guess it's the way he talks about you. Don't tell him I told you all this."

I shook my head, "Juvia won't." I was curious. What exactly had Gray said to Enno to make her tell me all this? Did he really lie awake at night talking to her about me? By now Enno and I had our heads together, whispering conspiratorially. My opinion of her kept swinging back and forth. It was becoming clear to me that Enno cared about Gray a lot. The feeling was no doubt mutual. Gray-sama didn't just sleep with her. He told her things. Things he wouldn't tell me or at least hadn't told me yet, because our relationship wasn't like that. There was a reason Gray liked her enough to keep her around. I was still a little jealous of her but I was finding it hard to keep believing Enno was bitch. Anyone who cared this much about Gray-sama couldn't be that bad.

"Gray doesn't like forming attachments to people. He can't even call his adoptive parents mom and dad," she said.

I at least knew that about him, "But why?"

"They're old enough to be his grandparents. He must know they won't be around forever or even as long as your or my parents will be around. He doesn't want to get too close, but that's dumb because any idiot can see how much he cares about them, no matter what he chooses to call them." She raised an eyebrow at me, "You think you can handle all of that?"

I wanted to. I'd always known Gray wasn't a jerk. Most, if not all of it, was just an act. He formed temporary relationships to avoid the heartache that came with permanent ones. Everyone he'd ever loved had left him. Despite my misgivings, it seemed I'd misjudged Enno. She wasn't a real love rival. "Juvia would never leave Gray-sama."

"Good. But you're taking it too literally. Stop stalking the poor boy," Enno said with a smile and then she was laughing and I was laughing and somehow we became friends just like that.

* * *

"And then I was like, oh my god no way!"

I'd abandoned trying to find Mia. The club was too dark and people were constantly moving in and out of the various rooms. All I wanted at this point was to get rid of Aurora. I found Lyon where I'd left him, by the bar in the dungeon room, and sent him a desperate look.

He returned my look, "Where's Juvia?"

"I thought she was with you."

"I thought Enno was with you."

"No," Aurora piped up, "Enno's with Mia."

* * *

"Juvia wanted to hate you," I said. I was standing next to Enno, helping her dry her dress.

"That's understandable. Don't worry. Gray is a one woman kind of guy. If he's with you, then he's only with you."

"Does Enno really think Gray-sama likes Juvia?"

"Yeah, you should see the look on his face when he talks about you. Even the stuff that's annoying about you he still likes. I've never seen him like that before."

Butterflies danced in my stomach. "Juvia is not annoying."

"Trust me. You _were_ annoying but I've reformed you. Right?"

I didn't know about reformed. Enno had reinforced some things Cana and even Erza had told me over and over again about the way I acted around Gray-sama but I'd been too stubborn to listen. I guess I never felt like they really understood. But while Enno had Gray-sama dishing out his deepest secrets within weeks, my way of doing things had gotten me no where near that point with Gray-sama and it'd taken months. I swallowed my pride and accepted the advice. "How did Enno do it?"

"What?"

"Get Gray-sama to like you so much?"

"How did Natsu, Jellal or Erza do it? It's not like Gray doesn't have any friends."

That wasn't really the answer I was looking for. Gray had told me I was his friend. He almost kissed me. Twice now. To mimic Lyon, I didn't want to be _friends _with Gray-sama.

"Alright, I think I'm dry enough. Shall we swap boyfriends? I'll take Lyon, you talk to Gray," Enno said with a cheeky grin.

"Wow. I think I just heard you reach a whole new basic level of whore." A dark haired girl said coming into the bathroom and leaning against the edge of the sink. She took out her lipstick and applied a fresh coat.

Enno sighed, "Give it a rest Mia. I don't feel like doing this with you again tonight."

Mia. Hadn't I heard that name somewhere before?

"We wouldn't be doing this if you weren't here. I thought I told you I didn't want to see your ugly face at this party?"

"I thought I told you it was a free country and I can do what I want. You don't scare me."

"Maybe I should." The girl seemed oblivious to the scene she was causing. Other girls were pausing to stare at us. "Admit it. You slept with my boyfriend behind my back."

"I did not-"

"Save it for someone who'll believe your lies! You're a whore and we both know it."

"Takes a whore to know a whore," the words slipped out my mouth before I could stop them. I didn't regret it. Enno seemed a million times too nice for something like that.

The girl blinked at me, "Who are you?"

"Juvia. Who are you?" I had a bad feeling about this girl.

"Mia. This doesn't have anything to do with you, Juvia. Mind your own business."

"You're being rude to one of Juvia's friends. That makes it Juvia's business."

Mia laughed, but there was no lightness or fun, "Oh come on Juvia, don't rain on my parade."

* * *

I stared at Aurora who was sucking on the straw in her drink. "What'd you just say?"

"Enno's with Mia. Mia is like, going to teach that bitch a lesson."

* * *

_Juvia, don't rain on my parade._

_Don't rain on my parade._

_Don't rain._

I stood frozen. Transfixed by memories that I'd suppressed deep down, way deep down, for year after year. Because I wasn't that scared little girl anymore. I wasn't. I wasn't. I'd changed. I'd gotten away from that place, from _them_. I'd been accepted in Phantom Lord. I'd found a place for myself. But I'd been gloomy and cold even then. I... I...

_Nieve is delightful. Graceful as a butterfly. Juvia, on the other hand, has as much grace as an elephant. I fear these dance lessons are of no use to her._

_A B+? When Nieve was your age her report cards were straight A's. I don't know how we ended up with a silly daughter like you._

_You're such a downer, Juvia. Don't sit with us. It always feels like it's raining when you're around._

_Don't pick Juvia for our team. We'll lose! She's no good at anything._

_What's up with all these strange dolls? Juvia is so weird._

_You're pretty but boring. I'm breaking up with you._

_Why are you always so depressing?_

_Can't you do anything right?_

_Drip, Drip, Drop_

_Ame-onna_

My chest felt tight, vision blurry. I hated remembering that. I hated thinking about that. My parents, those kids I grew up with, my first boyfriend. Phantom Lord was a choice, a bad one, but it'd been mine to make. No one had dared bully me then and no one had bullied me since but one phrase brought it all back to me.

_Juvia, don't rain on my parade._

Mia was yelling things and Enno was saying things but I heard nothing but that phrase repeated over and over like a broken record. I didn't hear anything until Mia grabbed hold of the pink frothy layers of Enno's dress and ripped it.

* * *

Shit.

"Where? Where are they?"

Aurora giggled, "Mia is like, so clever. Did you know Enno's mother makes all her clothes? She always has original stuff that you totally can't buy anywhere. Mia hates that."

It all fell into place. Mia had thrown her drink over Enno's dress but that wasn't enough. She knew Enno would have no choice but to go to the bathroom and dry off and she'd be there. Waiting for her.

I left Aurora giggling by the bar and text Enno. "What the hell is going on?" asked Lyon.

"Something bad."

* * *

It sounded horrific. The shear fabric tore in Mia's hands to hang off in strips from the sash around Enno's waist. Everything was happening in slow motion. Enno's mouth formed a perfect little circle of shock. I could hear other girls gasping but no one was moving except Mia. She kept grabbing more handfuls. It was like she went mental or something. It was only when Enno's skin started showing that I realised Mia wouldn't stop unless someone made her.

I snapped out of it. I wasn't that lonely little girl, any more than I was the troubled teenager from a year ago. But sometimes being in a gang came in handy. I placed one hand on Mia's shoulder and then...

"Stop it! What's wrong with you?" Mia blinked up at me from her new place on the floor. She probably couldn't figure out how she'd ended up there. I'd been fast but fairly gently. I doubted any of the girls knew what had happened. "Don't get up. Juvia wouldn't want to have to put you on your ass twice. You're a bully and a mean girl! Come near Juvia's friend Enno again and Juvia will-"

I wanted to say _'fuck you up' _like I would have done if this was a proper fight but I didn't use language like that anymore and Mia was hardly on my level. It'd be a waste of breath. "Juvia will not be happy."

The silence was absolute. Maybe I'd gone too far. Then Enno started sobbing. I turned to her but she only picked up the scattered fragments of her dress and ran out the door.

* * *

I collided with Enno as she came out the bathroom and instinctively pulled her against my chest. She was crying, not slowly leaking tears but an outburst of raw emotion. "Hey, slow down. Breathe. What happened?" I tried talking to her but Enno was inconsolable. Between the hiccups and sobs I couldn't understand a word she was saying. I didn't know what to do. I hated this out of control feeling. I hated watching her cry.

Ul used to cry. In the middle of the night when she thought Lyon and I wouldn't hear her. It was worse on the days we went to the hospital. She'd smile in front of Ultear, put on her brave face, smile brightly like every thing would be okay. Like Ultear wasn't wasting away right in front of our eyes. And then at night, she'd cry and cry, and I'd lie in my bed down the hall, helpless. I couldn't stop Ul's tears. I couldn't make Ultear better. I was just a useless kid then and I couldn't undo what was making Enno cry now.

"Not such a Little Miss Perfect now." It was one of the few sentences to leave Aurora's mouth that wasn't completely inane. It was probably the final straw. Enno struggled out of my arms and I couldn't catch her fast enough to stop her from disappearing through the crowd. Whatever happened, it'd really gotten to her.

"I'll get her," Lyon said, "She can't run around looking like that."

That was true. Enno's dress was nothing more than tattered shreds. I went to follow them but fingers tugged on my sleeve. Juvia.

"Did Gray-sama see Enno?"

"Did I see her? Did I fucking see her? What the hell happened?" I went from stunned to angry in seconds. The girls I knew should never cry. Ever.

"Juvia and Enno were talking-"

"Talking? Do I look stupid to you? I know you hate her, you fucking hate any girl I talk to but this? Damn it Juvia! Why are you even at this party? To talk to Enno and plan a sleepover? I fucking doubt it! Why would you do that to her?"

"Juvia didn't! It was Mia. Juvia-"

"What? Watched? Laughed? This is a fucking joke. You know what Juvia, I changed my mind, you're not a mean girl. You're a bitch!"


	9. Down & Out

_A/N: Thanks for the reviews. __Lucy and Juvia fought Vidaldus in the Tower of Heaven Arc._

_I do not own Fairy Tail._

_Chapter Eight – Down &amp; Out _

My trip down memory lane had not been pleasant. Growing up, my parents had constantly compared me to my sister Nieve, and always found me lacking in some way. I wasn't so young as to have not realised that the pressure they put on me for my failures was the same pressure they put on Nieve to maintain her status of 'perfect' daughter. We'd both had it rough in one way or another. At least we'd had each other. A lot of the children I'd grown up with had an uncanny knack for being viciously cruel to anyone who didn't quite fit in. But I moved away and found places to fit in. They might have grown up to be the beauty queens and the football captains but I was comfortable in my own skin and that was enough for me. As for Bora... well, he never really loved me anyway. That was one bastard I'd gladly tell to go fuck himself because he sure as hell wasn't getting another chance to fuck me.

Those were the burdens of my past. The negative voices in the back of my head that reverberated loudly whenever I felt down. Telling me I couldn't do it, saying that I'd never make it. I squashed them down. Ignored them mostly. Fought the demons when they decided to creep up on me like they had in that bathroom when Mia mentioned rain. I could handle it. Been there, done that, got the battle scars to prove it.

But those three words from Gray-sama were my complete and utter undoing.

I'd been called that word before. At Oak Town High it happened a lot. Usually not to my face, unless that particular person had a death wish. Everyone knew not to mess with one of the Element Four. Still, it was whispered in hushed tones behind my back. Sometimes the connotation was derogatory but it was just as likely to be some kind of twisted compliment. _Juvia is one bad bitch. _I didn't pay it any mind. I was ice cold and the shit people said about me didn't mean a damn thing.

I wasn't ice cold anymore.

My heart beat, loud and strong, sending warm blood rushing through my body. Filling every cell with love. Love for one person more than all others. The person who'd just looked me in the eyes and said _"You're a bitch!". _It wasn't, by any stretch of my imagination, a twisted compliment.

Gray-sama's words didn't merely hurt me. They obliterated me. It must have been a good five seconds since he'd said it and, although there were a lot of things I could have been thinking of, my foremost thought was to wonder how I was still standing. Surely, if your heart was ripped out it was impossible to go on living. I actually glanced down to make sure I wasn't gushing blood all over the dance floor. I wasn't. Imagine that. When I looked back up, Gray-sama was gone. It occurred to me that I should have explained better. That I should have done something, said something, anything!

Then it hit me that I shouldn't have had to. All these months we'd spent in the same circle of friends and Gray-sama thought I was the kind of girl to stand by and watch someone else get bullied. He didn't know me. He didn't know the first thing about me. And I loved him. Loved him more than life itself.

It hurt. It hurt so bad. Worse than my parents, those kids and my ex-boyfriend all rolled into one. Worse than months of Gray-sama ignoring me, telling me I annoyed him while he ran around with a bunch of easy girls. Or nice girls like Enno, as the case may be. Girls he didn't think were bitches.

The music was still thumping through the speakers, people were moving around me, laughing, dancing. Life kept happening. Time had only stopped for me. Gray-sama hadn't ripped my heart out after all. He'd wounded me just enough to make sure I bled out slowly, a drop at a time, a tear at a time, a breath at a time. I pressed my hands over my heart. It didn't help.

Nothing would ever make this better.

* * *

I caught up with Lyon outside the club. He was trailing after Enno who was still crying. I ran a hand through my hair. This was not my idea of a fun Saturday night. In fact, I couldn't remember the last time I'd been this stressed. "Why don't you stop her?"

"She told me to go away! I don't know what to do."

I couldn't blame him. Lyon was as useless around a crying girl as I was. Unsure of how to make this better, I watched Enno walking in front of us. She had her arms crossed over her chest, hugging herself. She looked cold but that was hardly the worst problem. Enno was a pretty girl walking half-dressed down a dark street in a not so nice part of downtown Magnolia. That was bound to attract the wrong kind of attention.

"We have to get some clothes on her, like now," Lyon said, voicing what I was already thinking. It was the one thing that made sense to do and it was a vast improvement over doing nothing.

As if to confirm that, some idiot wolf whistled at her. "Enno," I called.

"Go away!"

Lyon sent me a look and gestured towards her, "She's sleeping in your bed, man. You fix it."

That statement should have been in the past tense but I wasn't about to start a debate with Lyon about who I was currently sleeping with. "Hold up. What are those?"

"These?" He held up the patent black pair of heels in his other hand, "Her fucking shoes. She lost one on the stairs like some remake of Cinderella, then kicked the other one off and kept going. Prince Charming I am not, but I figured she'd want them back eventually."

No, no, no, no. This was bad. I took the shoes from Lyon and caught up with Enno, "Enno, babe, can you put your shoes on please? There's trash and broken glass and god knows what else out here."

"Just leave me alone!"

I grabbed her arm and yanked her to a stop, "You can be mad. You can be upset. Lyon and I will follow you home if that's what you want or need to do to calm down. But you need to put your damn shoes on before you hurt your feet. Tonight was horrible. Don't make it worse by fucking up your dance career forever." Enno wasn't thinking clearly right now but if she hurt herself walking barefoot there'd be a lot more to cry over than a ruined dress.

Enno looked up at me. Her mascara was running and her voice trembled when she spoke, "Gray..."

I pulled her into a hug, "I know, I know. It's okay now. I've got you."

* * *

I was sitting on the same stool that I'd sat on before with Lyon. I couldn't remember walking here. Surprisingly my drink was still on the bar. I downed it. Lyon's half-finished beer was there too so I downed that. I stared at the empty bottle. I never got drunk. I'd never hurt like this either. Rumour had it alcohol was pretty good at dulling the senses. Cana always seemed pretty happy.

Fuck it. There was nothing else for me to lose except my memory of tonight.

* * *

Since Lyon was obviously playing the role of the less than helpful sidekick, I played the role of Prince Charming and helped Enno put her shoes back on. She'd finally stopped crying much to my relief. "I feel naked," she whispered.

"Here," Lyon and I replied in perfect unison.

Enno looked between both our proffered shirts and took Lyon's, "Synchronised stripping. How long have you guys been working on that?" Her smile was wobbly and my heart wrenched, listening to her trying to make a joke out of this terrible situation.

"Are you okay?"

She tugged on the hem of Lyon's shirt, trying to pull it further down over her thighs, "Not really. That girl hates me something fierce."

"What happened?"

"I don't know. I was talking to Juvia-"

I jumped in, "I apologise for anything she said to you that was out of line. Juvia can be a bit-"

"Lovely with a dash of obsession. I know. I've most likely cured her of that or at least strongly persuaded her to turn it down a bit so don't worry about that."

Lovely with what? Did that even make any kind of sense? In a weird way it kind of did.

"Anyway, Mia came in and was saying all the crap she always does and usually I ignore her but she was really pissing me off. So we got into an argument and then she flipped out. I never thought she would actually hurt me." Enno's bottom lip started trembling, "I was so scared. I couldn't even do anything. And Juvia... Juvia..." Tears pooled in her eyes, threatening to spill over again.

Damn. "Don't start crying again. Please."

"Hey, is everything alright here?" A gruff voice called out from a car that had pulled up next to us. A police car.

Lyon's shirt wasn't that much shorter on Enno than most dresses a girl might wear clubbing and it was a million times better than the tattered remains of her dress but she still looked distinctly out of place. When we'd caught up with her, Lyon and I had instinctively placed Enno between us, away from any prying eyes but that probably wasn't how it looked to the casual observer. What we looked like was two topless guys corning a half dressed crying girl on the street. Not good.

"Everything's fine," I said.

"I'll be the judge of that. Miss, do you know these guys? Are they bothering you?"

Enno wiped her face, took a deep breath and stood up straighter, "I'm fine, thank you."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. This is my friend and his brother. They're taking me home." The cop didn't look convinced but he nodded and pulled off slowly. "I have to go home," Enno said.

"I'll take you," I said automatically.

"I need to do something with my dress before that. I look a wreck. My dad will take one look, assume the worse and have a heart attack." She picked up one of the trailing pink shreds and ran it through her hands. "My mother made this. It's the first time I've worn it."

"I could fix it." Lyon had finally decided to say something and in typical fashion it wasn't remotely helpful.

"Don't be an idiot. You walking around with a needle and thread, Martha Stewart?"

"What'd you call me? I don't hear you coming up with any ideas!"

"Your idea is stupid!"

"Boys!" Enno managed to glare at both of us. "Lyon, I don't think-"

Lyon threw his hands in the air, "I obviously can't fix it! I know someone who could though. Sherry owns a sewing machine and I brought my car. It'll take a while to drive you there and back but your parents aren't expecting you until late or at all right?"

I shook my head, "Its Saturday night. Sherry won't be home."

"She will be. Lately she's been making moon eyes at Ren. She told me his band is doing some live internet streaming thing tonight. She's probably locked in her room glued to her laptop."

Ren and his friends formed a more than half-decent band, the Trimens. They were popular with a fairly large proportion of the girls at our school. I hadn't realised they'd become well known enough to have fans from other schools. "Do you think she could do it?" Enno asked hopefully.

Lyon shrugged, "I don't know about this girly stuff but it's worth a try."

Enno nodded slowly, "Alright. I'll go with you. Sorry. I've ruined everyone's night." There was the threat of tears again. She'd calmed down but there was still a lot of emotion under that thin layer of composure Enno was showing us.

"Don't be sorry. None of this was your fault. I call you tomorrow."

"Aren't you coming with us Gray?"

"No," I sighed, "I need to go talk to Juvia. I said something I shouldn't have to her." I didn't think Juvia was a bitch. Crazy about me, sure, but she genuinely wasn't a mean girl. She might have said some things to Enno that were a little strange but not in my wildest dreams could I see her being a bully like Mia. I needed to apologise because, knowing Juvia, she'd have taken what I said to heart and I hadn't truly meant it. Stress brought out the worst in everyone and I was no exception. Still, I never should have snapped at her like that. It was out of line, and regret was already niggling my conscience.

"I'll go get her. Then we can all leave together," Lyon said.

"You won't get into the club without a shirt," I pulled mine back over my head, "Go on. I don't think Enno wants to see Juvia again anyway."

"I'd love to see Juvia. I need to thank her."

Thank her? Enno was a really nice girl but she was taking the whole forgiveness thing too far. "You don't have to do that. I'll deal with her."

"Deal with her? Gray, I think you're misunderstanding something. There were a dozen girls in there from my studio. Girls I've known for years. Girls who stood and watched Mia call me all sorts of horrible names and practically strip me naked. Juvia's the only one who stood up for me."

* * *

"Are you okay?" The barman asked as he slid my drink across the bar.

I had no doubt that I looked utterly miserable but I only nodded and handed him some money. My hand was nudged out of the way and a guy said "I'm buying this one." I didn't even glance at him. The last thing I wanted was some boy to buy me a drink and expect to have a conversation or more with me. Why did men think a woman's company could be brought this way? I still held my money out but the barman ignored it. He probably saw this happen all the time. Whatever. I wasn't in the mood for this crap.

* * *

"Of course she did. Juvia is an angel," Lyon declared.

"Whoa. Time out!" I used my hands to form the letter T. "You're going to have to run that by me again. Juvia did what?"

"I don't know. She's like a secret ninja or something. I was really surprised," Enno said.

I took her face in my hands and stared into her eyes, "You hit your head on something, didn't you?"

"I'm being serious! She had," Enno's forehead furrowed with concentration, "One hand on Mia's shoulder and then she did something with her foot and then Mia was falling. I'm pretty sure Juvia also caught Mia with her other hand so she didn't hit the ground too hard. It happened really fast so I can't be sure but I was standing right next to her. And then Juvia told Mia she was a bully and said to leave me alone. It was amazing! I was too upset to thank her though. I mean, everyone was just staring at us. I couldn't stand being in there for another second." Enno shivered at the memory but something ice cold was sliding down my spine too.

Lyon grinned, "A new side to my future wife. I wonder where she learned to do that?"

"She went to a rough school. I think Gajeel taught her some self-defence moves." I could hear myself saying the words but my mind was racing a million miles an hour in a different direction. "You didn't argue with Juvia?"

"With Juvia? No. We had a rough start but, how was it that you put it earlier? We have an understanding. I like her. I think we'll be good friends."

Good friends. Unlike me. Shit. I'd read the situation completely wrong and royally fucked up. My statement to Juvia repeated in my head and I winced. I was such a jerk. If I'd felt bad about yelling at her before I had a double dose of regret and shame now. "Damn it! Make sure Enno gets home safe. I'll catch you guys later!"

* * *

I left the drink untouched at the bar and walked away. I would go home. Saturday night at the dorms meant a late night for the younger girls but they'd probably be playing games or watching a DVD together. It'd be easy enough to sneak in. All the older girls, my close friends included, were off doing their own thing. Erza, Lucy and Levy weren't even in Magnolia tonight. I didn't mind. I wanted to be alone. Maybe I'd grab my swimsuit and head for the school pool. I'd have to jimmy the lock to the gym open but that was immaterial. I had to do something, _anything. _Because I could feel it_. _The rain. I'd thought it was gone for good when I met Gray-sama but I guess I was wrong. Tears were starting to fill my eyes, making it hard to see. I bumped into something, no someone.

"You didn't take the drink."

The guy from the bar. I opened my mouth for words but none came. I was splintering into pieces and this guy was shoving his unwanted attention on me. I blinked away the tears and had a proper look at him.

He looked like he belonged in this kind of nightclub. Or maybe a heavy metal band. His hair was jet black and long, way longer than any other boy I knew. Way longer than the hair of any of the _girls_ I knew. He was also wearing more makeup than most of the girls I knew, which was saying something. It didn't improve his looks, what with the nose that'd obviously been broken before and the scraggly eyebrows. To top it all off his clothes were covered with spikes and skull motifs. Oh boy.

"I get it," he said, "You don't want to rock with me but at least take the drink. It's already paid for." He held the glass out to me.

Maybe I should just drink it. Would that make him leave? Would it numb this pain? I hoped so. I reached out and our fingers brushed. I couldn't help but noticed he'd painted his nails black. I tossed the drink back, felt the burn in the back of my throat and the rush of dizziness from the alcohol. Moments later a weird after taste flooded my mouth making me gag. What the fuck was in this drink?

"Well, that was easy," he said and lunged at me.

* * *

There was a queue to get back in and despite having seen me leave ten minutes ago the idiot at the door insisted on checking my id again. I tapped my foot while he made a big show of comparing my face to my photo. I had to be quick about this. Juvia had no reason to stay here any longer if she thought I'd gone. I only hoped she hadn't left already.

* * *

The guy slammed me up against the wall. His forearm across my neck forced my head up and my airway closed. For the briefest of moments I thought about doing nothing. Fuck it. I didn't care if I blacked out. Loss of consciousness would be a relief right about now. That's what I thought but my body wasn't listening. I choked, desperate for air and my old survival instincts kicked in. The broken hearted girl I felt like right now would have been happy to quietly fade away but the girl who'd risen through the ranks in Phantom Lord would never go down without a fight.

I didn't even have to think about it. He was taller than me, weighed more than me and had most likely just drugged me so he was cocky, over confident. I let my body go slack and as expected he eased off. First mistake. I lashed out and felt my fist connect with his face. I expected it to end there. Most perverts ran away scared if the girl fought back. I didn't want to scream if I didn't have to. With a record like mine, any run in with the police, even as the victim, was not in my best interest. I only wanted this guy to go away, and quickly. The club was dark but any second now someone would notice what was going on.

He didn't run. He recovered faster than I expected and caught my wrist pinning my arm over my head. He forced one knee between mine. His close proximity disgusted me. "Feisty as expected but I've got you now," he sneered down at me, his right eye already swelling from when I'd hit him.

I took a deep breath and found my voice, "Juvia thinks you'll find that Juvia's got _you_."

* * *

I couldn't find Juvia. I saw Mia and her group of loser friends. They took one look at me and fled the other way. Good riddance.

* * *

He might have pinned me to the wall but I wasn't some wide eyed naive little girl. I'd grabbed his other wrist with my left hand. I increased the pressure, twisting his arm in a direction it wasn't meant to go and he winced, "Juvia is warning you. Juvia will break your wrist. Gladly."

He leaned in close to me, warm breath on my ear, "It'll be worth it. How long can you keep fighting? I'm guessing your vision is already fuzzy. It's getting harder to concentrate. The room is spinning. Did you really think I'd pick a fight with one of the Element Four if I didn't know I was guaranteed to win."

Shit. I should have known. This wasn't some random creep in a club. He was specifically after me and worst of all his words rang true. Whatever had been in that drink, it was working. My limbs felt heavy, the music was being overcome by a driving pain in the back of my head and my tongue felt weird. I couldn't keep this up. I needed him to make a move so I could counter it and get away from him but of course, if he knew me, then he knew better than to give me the chance to do that. With my back against the wall I had no real leverage, no room to manoeuvre. All this guy had to do was keep me contained until the drug did its job and I blacked out. We were at a stalemate. "Who are you?"

"Vidaldus Taka, hardcore rocker from Trinity Raven. I'm your personal guide to the lowest pits of the ultimate hell."

* * *

I let out a long breath. Maybe Juvia had already left. I would probably find her at the girl's dorm. I looked around one last time and decided to leave.

* * *

Trinity Raven. Part of Death's Head Caucus. I tried to concentrate but words and almost remembered facts jumbled around uselessly inside of my head. I swallowed hard. My tongue and lips felt numb, making it harder to talk, "Phantom Lord doesn't have a quarrel with you."

"Is that a joke? We've been warring over territory for seven weeks."

I didn't keep up with what was going on in Oak Town. Perhaps I should have, but what he said didn't make any sense. Trinity Raven were hired thugs. They took money for jobs. There shouldn't be a hit out on me. "Juvia is out."

"Please. I heard a rumour like that but we both know there is no such thing as 'out'. Falling into hell yet?"

I'd known this would happen someday. The first few months I'd spent every second looking over my shoulder. Makarov-sensei said we were far enough away, that Magnolia was a safe, quiet place. Gajeel said we'd watch each other's back and everything would be fine. But I'd known. I'd known this day would come. A gang wasn't like a book club you joined for a few weeks and then gradually drifted away from when you became bored. A gang was like family. It was forever. I could cut my ties with my parents but that didn't mean they were no longer my father and mother. The tattoo on my back was testament enough that I'd never truly escape from Phantom Lord. Breathe. I had to think. Once I blacked out it'd be all too easy for Vidaldus to pass me off as his girlfriend who'd had too much to drink. He'd take me god knows where and then I'd be in real trouble. Because even if I wasn't out, I wasn't in either. No one from Phantom Lord would come to help me. Gajeel, the only person I could trust in this situation, wouldn't know where to find me. He wouldn't even know I was missing until late tomorrow when he finally got back from the party at Mira-sempai's college.

"You know, I wasn't even looking for a fight tonight. I was at the bar across the street when you waltzed by. Bold as brass. No one's seen you in months, Ame-onna. Where you been hiding?"

In plain sight, under the illusion of safety created by attending a good school, surrounded by friends. What a fool I'd been. My vision was turning black at the edges. I couldn't think. My throat burned with unshed tears. It was hard to breathe. I'd been through a lot of shit in my life but rarely alone. Nieve had comforted and consoled me whenever my parents were too harsh. Even after she left for college we wrote letters to each other. Of course it wasn't the same and if she'd been home maybe I wouldn't have run away but I didn't resent her for that. She had to follow her dreams too. I'd been on the streets two weeks before I ran into Gajeel. Me, a dirty, tired kid who was out of options and knew next to nothing other than the one truth that my so called home was not the place I wanted to be. Gajeel, who'd spent half his life on the streets and actually had orders to steal anything of value off the girl in the expensive dress who so blatantly had wandered into the wrong side of town. I don't know why but he hadn't mugged me and we'd hit it off instead. He taught me how to survive, introduced me to Jose and never once wavered in his quiet friendship. Even if nobody noticed anything special about our relationship, through thick and thin we'd been there for each other.

I wished he was here now.

"You know," Vidaldus was saying, "I'd get good money for turning you in but I've been thinking... You're smoking hot and would look even better as a rock chick. Want to be my groupie?"

Nausea rolled through me. I didn't want to be this guy's plaything. Anything but that. I was out of options and out of time. I twisted harder, his muscles and bones protested and he cursed. I would have much preferred to make this quick but I didn't have a good enough grip on his wrist and I couldn't risk letting go. I closed my eyes, swallowed the bile that rose in the back of my throat and hoped the pain would be enough to make him relent and give me an opening.

* * *

I walked right by the couple making out against the wall.

Stopped.

Looked back.

It was dark but I'd recognise those legs anywhere. They'd haunted my dreams all week. What the fuck was Juvia doing? There were some things I might temporarily forget about her in the heat of the moment but one thing I'd never doubt was her unwavering adoration of me. It was cocky and narcissistic but true. She would not be making out with a random guy in a club. Period.

Which left me with only two, very different, options. Best case scenario, it was mistaken identity and on closer inspection the girl would be revealed to be a stranger. Worst case scenario, it was Juvia and I was going to kick this idiot's ass for putting his hands on a friend of mine who wanted nothing to do with him.

Pure rage filled me but I forced myself to take a calming breath and walk towards them. It might not be Juvia. For his sake it sure as hell better not be.

* * *

Almost there. Vidaldus was sweating now, pain written all over his face but this had become a battle of wills and his grip hadn't loosened one bit. I couldn't do this. Even if I snapped his wrist he'd won. He'd won the second I drank that stupid concoction. Alternative choices were now non-existent. I hated having to do this but I recognised that I was out of my depth and in serious danger.

I sucked in a deep breath and opened my mouth to scream. Reflexively Vidaldus clamped a hand over my mouth, inadvertently freeing my pinned right arm in a bid to keep me quiet.

His second mistake.

* * *

The good news. He wasn't kissing her.

The bad news. It was definitely Juvia.

The even worse news. This creep was using his body to keep her trapped against the wall. I thought trapped because if you wanted a friendly conversation with a girl you didn't put your hand over her mouth. Surprisingly, I didn't feel angry. A cool, silent stillness took over my mind. I knew with absolute clarity exactly what I was going to do. I hope this bastard had enjoyed feeling my girl up. It was the last thing he'd do on this planet because I was about to kill him.

* * *

I hadn't thought the plan all the way through. Above all else, I wanted to create some space between us. After that, I wasn't sure because the world was sliding away and I figured I had less than a minute before I blacked out. As it was I didn't have a chance to do anything.

A fist slammed into Vidaldus's face, more or less exactly where I'd hit him, but this person had a lot more room to take a proper swing and really put their weight behind the throw. Vidaldus stumbled to the side, his weight no longer on me, and he might have been only dazed if that was all that happened but I still had a grip on his wrist. I felt the pop as he fell sideways, the force of the punch moving him one way while my grip kept him partly stationary. Two equal yet opposite forces, it was more than anyone's body could endure. He screamed in agony and I released my hold on him. Vidaldus crumpled to the floor with what must be at least a dislocated shoulder for sure. The way I'd been twisting his arm he might have fractured something too.

I didn't have time to ponder his fate or the identity of my would be 'rescuer'. The world went black and I was slipping down the wall. Warm hands caught me, lowered my body slowly to the floor. I wanted to open my eyes. It was impossible. I surrendered to the darkness and hoped I wasn't trading one pair of cruel hands for another.


	10. The Other Gray

_A/N: Juvia's parts of this chapter will make almost no sense. Please remember she's been drugged therefore her thought process is not lucid. Her memory of recent events not only comes and goes, but is vague at best._

_I do not own Fairy Tail_

_Chapter Nine - The Other Gray_

Consciousness returned slowly. Little bits and pieces of information flittered into my brain but I couldn't put everything together to make a complete picture. I was slumped on the floor. Not quite lying down, not quite sitting up. My head was a hazy mess. What happened? I couldn't remember. Where was I? I didn't know. Forget that then. Maybe I should get up. The thought was there but my body was staging a revolt against my mind. I thought sit up, stand up, move! My arms and legs refused to obey. Something simpler then. I tried to open my eyes. My body ignored even that command. I felt sick. Maybe lying still was best after all. There was a loud banging in my ear. What was that? Oh, my heart. No, my heart was beating real slow. Felt like ten beats a minute or something ridiculous like that. So this sound was... someone else's heart?

* * *

I'd had two seconds to make a choice. Continue beating the shit out of that guy or catch Juvia before she hit the floor. It'd been a no brainer.

So here I was on the floor of the club with a very unconscious Juvia in my arms. Quite frankly, she was scaring me to death. My aversion to tears was only the tip of the iceberg. I had a healthy dislike of doctors and illnesses too. I'd spent far too many years watching Ultear bounce in and out of various hospitals. Some were planned visits to yet another specialist, some were 3am trips to A&amp;E but none of them were pleasant. I didn't even want to think about the last hospital bed I'd stood by. That memory was a raw wound and might always be that way. "Juvia, can you hear me?" I brushed the hair out of her face and squeezed her gently. _Please wake up, please, please..._

* * *

Someone was calling me. Holding me. Their heart still beat in my ear. I must be leaning against their chest. Weird. What was I doing here? Parts of my brain were waking up and warning bells were starting to ring. I had to get up. There was an important reason why I couldn't be lying here. Think, think...

* * *

"Is she okay," a girl asked, handing me a glass.

"I don't know. She fainted. Is this water?" Enno's comment that Juvia was a ninja girl was obviously a gross overestimation of her abilities. Not that any of this was her fault, but I'd have really appreciated it if she could have held off on fainting for a minute or two more. Two bouncers were manhandling that wannabe rock star lookalike out the door even now. I still wanted to kill him but my chance was gone.

"Yeah. I thought it might help. She probably didn't eat. It's a bad habit. Most of us forget that not eating before a performance is totally different to not eating before a night out."

We were attracting a crowd but no one seemed particularly perturbed. Enno was always quick to deny having any kind of eating disorder but I'd seen her obsess over the scale if it dared move an ounce in the wrong direction. Dancers like her felt the pressure to look a certain way. If you had to faint to get that look, so be it, or so went the unspoken rule. I didn't bother correcting the girl's assumption. I accepted the water and turned my attention back to Juvia. Her eyelids were fluttering. "Juvia, wake up. I've got water for you."

* * *

Vidaldus. The drugged drink. I remembered. I had to get up now, right now.

It was like swimming through molasses but I fought through the confusion and forced my eyes open. Shit. The world spun around me, flashing lights making my eyes burn. Where there had once been only a heartbeat, now the sound of some terrible song assaulted my ears. It was sensory overload at its worse. I couldn't help reclosing my eyes, at least until I could adjust.

Someone was pressing a glass to my lips. Instinctively, I struggled away. The last thing I wanted was more of that drug in my system. The grip on me tightened and a familiar voice in my ear said, "Juvia, its Gray. Please drink this. It's water. You'll feel better."

Gray-sama. What was he doing here? I managed to open my eyes a tiny bit and his face swam into focus above me. "Drink this," he said again and I took a tiny sip. The liquid was warm and bland but definitely just water. It slid down my throat like the sweetest champagne. I took greedy gulps, trying to rid myself of the terrible aftertaste left by the drug.

* * *

I let out a sigh of relief. Juvia was awake. She was obviously a little disorientated, but awake nonetheless. I pulled her up so she was sitting properly and she finished off the glass of water in record time.

"Alright, nothing to see here. Break it up!" The bouncers were back. The one on the right pointed at us and said, "You two, out now."

Typical. "Give us a minute."

He reached for Juvia and I pushed his hand away, "She fainted. She needs to sit for a bit."

"Fainted? Passed out more likely. Look kid, I've been doing this for years. I've got one idiot outside with a dislocated shoulder and a black eye. You and Miss Party Hard are in here playing at being lovers. You want to fight over a girl? Knock yourselves out. Just don't do it in my club."

"She's not drunk! She's had like one drink." This guy was such an ass.

"I don't care if she's a lightweight. You both need to leave now. You can explain what happened to the police outside."

Juvia tried to get away from me again, "No. No police. Juvia doesn't... Juvia can't... No!" Her words slurred and ran into each. I could barely understand her.

"Okay, okay," I said trying to soothe her but it was like Juvia couldn't hear me. She tried to stand up but her co-ordination was completely gone. The bouncer shot me a look and I held back another comment on how little Juvia had to drink that night. It was hard to deny that she was acting drunk. I slipped her shoes off because it was obvious she wasn't going to be able to walk in her heels. I pulled her to her feet and readjusted my evaluation of her state. I doubted she could walk at all. She was really unsteady. Most of her weight was on me. If I let go of her she'd probably fall right back down. What the hell? I'd seen her fifteen minutes ago and she'd been perfectly lucid. Not even tipsy.

* * *

The world was still spinning. I hardly knew which direction was up. I had to lean on Gray-sama because my legs felt like jelly. My body wouldn't do anything I told it to. One part of my brain was telling me I had to find Vidaldus and deal with him before things got out of hand but most of my brain was screaming about how much was going wrong with almost every part of my body. There was nothing I could do until this drug wore off. I let my head rest on Gray-sama's shoulder and gave up trying to do anything other than hold down the bile that rose in the back of my throat. I'd just have to trust him.

* * *

The bouncer helped me half walk, half drag Juvia to the door. I'd never seen anyone get this hammered in so short an amount of time. In fact, it was virtually impossible. I had a growing suspicion that putting his hand over her mouth and pinning her to the wall wasn't all that bastard had done to Juvia. Or all he had planned.

I swept Juvia up, bridal-style, because that was the only way to get her up the seven steps at the club entrance. She hung limp in my arms, like a rag doll. She'd all but blacked out again. Fucking hell. When I found that creep I was going to finish what I'd started and make him regret leaving his house tonight. A disgusting lowlife like him didn't deserve to see the light of another day.

At the top of the stairs the bouncer dropped Juvia's shoes in her lap. I supposed I should have been grateful he'd bothered bringing them at all. "Here's the other one," he said and nudged me in the direction of a police officer.

"You again?"

Crap. It was the same officer that'd driven by Lyon, Enno and me earlier.

"I thought you were taking your friend home?"

I nodded, "Yeah well, I had to come back and get this friend."

The officer leaned over Juvia and frowned, "You seem to be 'friends' with quite a few girls in difficult circumstances."

That was one way of putting it. What could I say? I was having a shit Saturday night.

He sighed, "Young girls don't realize how much danger they put themselves in getting this intoxicated. You know where she lives?"

I was about to reply when Juvia's eyes re-opened.

* * *

The only thing I knew for certain was that I kept drifting in and out of consciousness. I had no clue what was happening. I opened my eyes to see a police officer looming over me. Long ingrained reflexes kicked in. Teachers could be intimidated, fellow students were usually worthless wasters of space, someone from a rival gang was a target but if you saw an officer of the law you did whatever it took not to get caught.

I fought against the arms that held me and was placed hastily on my feet. I made it two steps before my legs gave way and I ended up on the pavement.

Fuck. My hands smarted and I felt a trickle of warm blood on my face. My reflexes were far too slow.

What happened? Where was I? Why couldn't I walk?

* * *

Mavis, help me. Juvia just about scratched my eye out trying to get away from me and then face planted the sidewalk the second I set her down. Her arms trembled but she managed to push herself onto her hands and knees. I knelt next to her and put my hand on her back, "Juvia-"

"Don't touch Juvia!"

"Okay. I won't." I rested my hands on my knees instead. "It's Gray. I'm trying to take you home."

"Gray...sama?"

"Yeah, that's me. Can I take you home please?"

"Does she need to go to the hospital?"

I turned back to the officer, "I don't know. Maybe. I think her drink was spiked. I've never seen her like this before."

"No! No hospital. No police. Away. Not here..." Juvia started slumping forward. I instinctively caught her and we were back in a position not too dissimilar to how we'd been before, back on the floor of the club. Her skin was clammy to touch and she'd scraped her face when she fell. She looked a hot mess.

"I think you should go get checked out by a doctor," I said and felt her forehead.

Juvia shook her head vehemently, "No!"

The officer gazed suspiciously down at us. "Spiked? That's a serious accusation. Any reason she's so desperate to avoid the police and medical attention?"

"Her parents will freak out," I lied. I don't know why. It just seemed like the best thing to do. Juvia was acting like the police were her worst enemy. Another split second decision to make... I lied again, "Maybe she had more to drink than I thought. I'll take care of her."

The officer grunted. "Kids. The information I received from security is they don't know who started it, and they don't care. All they wanted was the three of you out of their establishment. The other guy wasn't too keen on a trip to the hospital either and disappeared real quick. Anything you'd like to add to that?"

I had a hell of a lot to add to that. About illicit drugs and guys who forced themselves on unsuspecting girls. They just let that creep walk away? No questions asked? I opened my mouth and then shut it. What more could I add that wouldn't get me in a hell of a lot of trouble for starting a fight? The only person that could say for a fact what happened was Juvia and not only was she totally out of it but she was also giving off the impression that she had something to hide. Which I doubted, but her behaviour would sure seem suspicious to anyone else, spiked drink or not. In any case, that creep was long gone. I got us both up off the pavement, wrapped one of Juvia's arms around my neck for balance and managed to collect her shoes. "No, sir."

"Fine. I bet none of your parents know what you're doing out here. Take her home and give her some water. I don't want to see either of you out on this street again tonight."

* * *

My body was swaying, gently side to side. I opened my eyes just a crack. The world was no longer spinning and there was no loud thumping of music or hearts. I watched, confused, as legs that weren't mine took one step after another. I was still moving forward though. How was that possible? Wait, my legs were there too, dangling uselessly, angry red scrapes on both my knees. Ah, someone was carrying me. The person paused and hoisted me higher. My chin banged against their shoulder. I guess there was a reason my last piggyback ride had been when I was ten. I opened my mouth to find out who I was with and the nausea I'd been fighting decided enough was enough.

* * *

"Down."

"We're not there yet," I said, a little surprised to hear Juvia's voice. I'd tried finding a taxi to take us back to the girls' dorm but no one was willing to take a girl who looked like she'd be sick any second. I'd thought about texting Lyon to find out if he could turn around and pick us up but that would just have been more drama. What with Lyon freaking out about his "wife" and Enno feeling guilty, like any of this was her fault. Thanks, but no thanks. So I'd settled Juvia on my back and started walking. She'd come around a few times, mumbled incoherently and then gone quiet again. In the last half hour or so I'd heard everything from "The sea monkey has my money" to "Gajeel-kun, we need to neutralise the threat." I always knew Juvia had an overactive imagination but inside her head seemed like a crazy place. "Down" was the first word she'd spoken that, given our situation, actually made any sense.

"No. Down. Please. Juvia feels sick."

Oh. I set Juvia gently on her feet not a second to soon. She stumbled to the side of pavement and threw up in the bushes. I rubbed her back in soothing circles. Poor girl. On a positive note, she was able to stand on her own two feet and maybe she'd feel better once she got it out of her system. "Are you okay?"

* * *

I didn't know who this boy was. I didn't know where I was. I couldn't remember anything. Panic welled up inside me. What the hell was going on?

Calm down. Think. What was the last thing I remembered? School. No, school was yesterday. Today was Saturday. Gajeel-kun and I helped Makarov-sensei like usual. After that... A club. The Crypt. Enno. Gray-sama calling me a bitch. The memory was like a punch in the stomach.

I started crying.

* * *

Ah shit. "Don't cry Juvia. It's okay. You're fine."

"Juvia is... not fine!" She gasped out. It sounded like she was on the verge of hyperventilating.

"Just breathe okay?"

"Juvia hates this! Juvia doesn't want to feel this anymore!"

"Okay. Fine. Look, I know you probably don't feel that great right now but you need to calm down." I looked up and down the street. There was a bus shelter not too far from us. "Come on. Let's sit down for a bit."

I took her arm and guided her to the bench inside the shelter. What was I supposed to do with her? Juvia was damn near hysterical. I begged, I pleaded, I tried to reason with her. The tears kept coming no matter what I said. At a loss, I scratched my head, paced anxiously up and down, finally sat down next to her, and pulled her into an awkward one arm hug. What else could I do?

* * *

I cried until there was nothing left. Eventually, the tears stopped and my breathing evened out. I felt like a wrung out washcloth. On top of that, I was still dizzy, my stomach was threatening to be sick again and now my throat hurt from all the crying too. The boy with me had sat in silence and kindly let me blubber all over his shoulder. I wiped my face and finally had a proper look at him. I was surprised, "You look like Gray-sama."

"I am Gray-sa- I mean, I am Gray."

"No," I shook my head slowly, "Gray-sama would not be here with Juvia. Gray-sama hates Juvia." He'd called me a bitch and left me in that club. After that... I didn't know. The next thing I remembered was this boy carrying me. Now that I'd calmed down, I instinctively gave him a good once over. He kept fading in and out of focus which made my stomach roll so it took me longer than usual to figure him out. No obvious tattoos, no weapons, no signs of aggression. Not a gang member. I switched to scoping the street. No recognisable landmarks, a blurry mix of residential and business properties. Probably on the border of downtown Magnolia. As for myself... My head was fuzzy. Vision unreliable. Body uncooperative. The scratches on my knees and palms smarted. Had I fallen over and hit my head? There was a huge gap in my memory but I sensed that this boy didn't want to harm me. That'd have to be good enough for now.

"I don't hate you."

"Gray-sama does. He called Juvia a... a..."

"I absolutely did not mean that."

"You didn't say it. Gray-sama did."

* * *

What the fuck? "Juvia, I'm Gray. Don't you recognise me?" This was weird. One moment she seemed to remember what had happened and the next she was acting like she didn't even know who I was.

Juvia ran a hand over my shoulder and smoothed the damp patch on my shirt. "Gray-sama is not the shoulder to cry on type."

"Yeah well, there's a first time for everything. Are you feeling okay?" Did she really think it wasn't me? As if this night couldn't possibly get any more stressful...

"Juvia is thirsty."

Right. At least that was something I could fix. "Can you walk?"

She nodded but once we stood up it was obvious she was still wobbly. Okay, piggyback round two.

* * *

This 'Gray' looked uncannily like my Gray-sama. That is, when he stayed still long enough for me to actually see him. He had the same broad shoulders, the same facial features I knew so well but I wasn't fooled. Gray-sama was always cold to me. He ignored me a lot of the time, told me to go away most of the rest of the time and tonight my worst fears had been confirmed. Gray-sama called me a bitch. He hated me. Everything good that had happened this past week was immediately nullified. We might have been on the verge of something special before. Yo-yoing back and forth over some invisible line. Usually, it was something stupid I said or did that drove Gray-sama away. This time I'd done what I thought, no what I _knew_ was right, stood up for a girl who couldn't do it for herself and for what? I didn't regret helping Enno. No one deserved that, but as the saying went 'no good deed goes unpunished'.

Gray-sama thought I was a mean girl. A horrible person. There was no way Gray-sama would be so caring with me after saying something like that. I wasn't sure what was going on, how I'd ended up in the middle of nowhere with this perfect doppelgänger of the man I loved but the scar left on my heart was real enough. I laid my cheek on the boy's shoulder and let him carry me away. I hardly cared any more. I didn't want to think or remember or feel. I was done with this.

* * *

Juvia had gone quiet again. I was thinking that maybe I should have let that cop take her to the hospital after all. I didn't know the first thing about taking care of someone after they'd had their drink spiked. She was clearly feeling unwell and, although her motor control now was a huge step up from before, she was still unsteady on her feet. To top it all off, she was delusional. How could she not recognise me? She'd kept her eyes on me all year for goodness sake. I bit back a sigh and kept walking.

We had finally made it to a part of Magnolia I was familiar with. I set Juvia down on an old wooden bench outside a tiny 24-hour shop. "Juvia, Juvia?" I shook her gently and she blinked up at me. "Don't move, okay? I'll be right back." I waited for her to nod then went to get her a bottle of water. Or three.

* * *

Something sharp stung my knee, startling me out of a muddled dream of a boy with long hair and vicious eyes. I lashed out, grabbing the shirt of the person hurting me, "What are you doing?"

"Damn it Juvia! It's Gray. Let go of me."

"Gray-sama?" My eyesight was blurry, but a familiar face swam in and out of focus. It finally settled down into not one Gray-sama but two of him. Both on their knees in front of me. Had to be a dream. Unless... "Which one's the real Gray-sama?"

"It's only me here Juvia." His fingers curled around mine, coaxing me to release him. "I guess this ninja girl thing comes and goes."

"Ninja girl?" I mumbled and flinched away when the stinging pain returned to my knee.

"Just something Enno said. Sit still, I'm trying to clean you up."

My brain was so slow. "What happened to Juvia?"

He hesitated then replied, "You tripped. I'm taking care of you. Just relax, okay?"

* * *

Juvia didn't seem convinced but she did let go of my shirt and I went back to cleaning the scrapes on her knees. It was only a small convenience store so my options were somewhat limited but I had managed to buy water, band-aids and a tiny tube of antiseptic cream. I'd also spent two minutes on my phone looking up the symptoms of a spiked drink. Loss of balance, visual problems, memory loss, confusion, paranoia, hallucinations and nausea just to name a few. The whole thing seemed rather grim and Juvia's behaviour fit the bill. Physically, she seemed to be getting better but mentally she was all over the place. Maybe I should take her to a hospital after all? I poured more water over her knee and she flinched again, "Sorry. Are you sure you don't want to go to a hospital?"

"No. Juvia can't. They'll know Juvia was in a fight and ask questions Juvia doesn't want to answer."

"You weren't really in a fight." I paused for a second. Now that I wasn't brimming over with aggression a few things weren't adding up right. The black eye I could claim but the bouncer had said something about that guy having a dislocated shoulder. I sure as hell didn't remember doing that. I tried to think harder. What really happened in those ten seconds between me seeing Juvia with that guy and her passing out? "Did you…?" I started to ask but stopped myself. That was a ridiculous idea.

Juvia had her eyes closed, her head tilted slightly to one side. She looked tired, unusually pale, and fragile as a gossamer strand of a spider's web. I squeezed her thigh lightly, "Don't worry. I'll take good care of you."

Now that her knee was rinsed clean I had to apply the cream, but her skin was still wet. I hadn't thought of that. I didn't remember seeing a towel in the store and I didn't want to use tissue because it'd stick to the wound. I leaned back on my heels and thought for a moment.

* * *

It was Gray-sama. I knew because he stripped off his shirt. Both of him. At the same time. It was a little overwhelming actually. I mean, one Gray-sama was enough for me. Two was... some kind of fantasy turned into reality. I tried not to stare too much as he tore his shirt into strips and dried my knee.

* * *

Juvia occasionally flinched away, but for the most part she let me get on with my spontaneous first aid treatment. I finished both her knees, treated half a dozen tiny cuts on her hands and moved on to the scratch on her face. I obviously couldn't pour the water directly over it without getting her soaking wet so I dampened one strip of my shirt and dabbed gently. She winced and jerked back.

"Sorry, it's just a little more and then we're done." I gently cupped the back of her neck and held her still as I wiped off the smear of dried blood. "I hope you don't scar easily."

A tiny smile flickered across her face, "Juvia has had worse than this."

I didn't like the sound of that statement but didn't push her. For all I knew Juvia still thought I wasn't the "real" Gray and was imagining herself in some fantasy world. I let out a sigh and my breath stirred her hair. "I'm sorry Juvia. This shouldn't have happened to you."

* * *

This. What this? My mind struggled for memories. Why was I here? Why was Gray-sama being so gentle, almost tender, with me? He patted my cheek dry and smoothed a thin layer of cream on. I watched him rifle through the box of band-aids, trying to choose one the right size. There was something off with this scene. Something barely remembered...

* * *

"There we go," I pressed gently and the adhesive took, "We're done. I brought you some water to drink too."

Juvia accepted the bottle with trembling hands and took a long swallow. I sat down next to her and placed my arm across her shoulders. "We can sit here for a couple minutes and then I'll carry you the rest of the way home." It felt like I was getting the hang of this caring thing.

"Why?" Juvia asked softly.

"You need to be in bed. I promise you'll feel better tomorrow."

She shook her head and glanced at me with tears in her eyes, "Why are you being so kind to Juvia? You don't even know Juvia."

So we were back to that. "Juvia, it's me, Gray."

"No, it's not. Gray-sama would never be this nice to Juvia. Juvia remembers. Juvia knows what Gray-sama said." Her lower lip started trembling, "Gray-sama called Juvia a bitch and left Juvia all by herself and then... then something bad happened."

Fuck. Guilt slammed into me. This was my fault. "Juvia, I'm so sorry. I never meant to say that to you. I know you're not a mean girl or a bitch. I got the situation all wrong and I apologise for that. Enno explained everything to me. I feel like an idiot. I... I'm sorry this happened to you. Maybe it wouldn't have if I hadn't freaked out like that. I shouldn't have left you alone. Did that guy buy you a drink? Do you remember drinking anything?"

It was like I hadn't said a word. "Gray-sama said... Gray-sama thinks..." One gasping sob escaped and Juvia was back on the brink of tears.

Quite frankly, I'd had my share of crying girls for the night, the month, the year. On top of that, the one thing I hated more than a girl I knew crying was knowing I was the cause of her tears. I had to be the biggest bastard in Magnolia tonight. "Please don't start that again. You're killing me here Juvia. I'm really sorry okay? I'll make this up to you. I don't know how, but I will okay? What do you want? Anything. I'll give it you. Just please don't cry. Please?"

* * *

"What Juvia wants no one can give." I took a shaky breath and managed to hold back all but a few of the tears. My head was already throbbing and I knew crying would only make it worse. Plus this other Gray had done so many kind things for me and all he'd asked for in return was for me not to cry. I remembered him now. He'd been carrying me for awhile I think. "Are you Juvia's friend?"

"Yes. Gray. Come on Juvia. I know you'd never forget me."

I nodded, "Because you look like Gray-sama." There was only one person here now which meant that before both Gray-sama and this other Gray had been here. But Gray-sama had left. Again. He must really despise me.

The boy sighed, "Juvia, I am Gray."

They not only looked identical, they had the same name. I fumbled with that idea for a moment but I couldn't imagine myself saying the name Gray out loud without the appropriate honorific so I simply nodded. I drank more of the water, trying to soothe my aching throat and ease my headache.

* * *

We sat in silence for awhile. I don't know what Juvia was thinking but I was racked with a sense of guilt that was almost too heavy to bear. Juvia would never have been at that club if I hadn't been there. I took it for granted that she'd be wherever I was and never gave it a thought that a lot of the time she went places where the only person she knew was me, and I usually spent all night pretending she didn't exist. I should have kept a better eye on her from the get go. Instead I'd palmed her off on Lyon. A guy she only met a week ago. Little wonder she'd found some excuse to give him the slip and track down Enno. Mavis only knew what they'd talked about but long story short - Juvia had gone out of her way to do something unbelievably brave and kind for Enno who must, at least in Juvia's mind, tick all the right boxes for being a legit love rival. How many people would stand up for a stranger, never mind someone they had reason to dislike?

I ran a hand over my face and barely managed to suppress a groan. I was such a jerk to Juvia, on so many levels while she was proving herself to be every bit the angel Lyon thought she was. "Juvia, I'm so sorry. Truly, I am. I promise I'll take good care of you tonight and get you home safely. Tomorrow… You'll probably want to sleep this off actually, so maybe sometime next week instead, I'll make this up to you. How about I spend a day just with you? You'd like that right? We could catch a movie or go to lunch or revise together or whatever. You decide."

My offer sounded like what it was. A badly concealed consolation prize or, even worse, a bribe in exchange for her forgiveness. I didn't know what else to say though. Juvia had said no one could give her what she wanted and that was beyond a doubt true. Because what Juvia wanted most was no secret. Her one true desire was to own my heart. That was something I couldn't give her. Would never give her or any other girl. I could give her some time though, a little common courtesy, enough respect to stop acting like such a dick around her. At the very least try to be friends with her like I always claimed we were. "What do you think? Juvia?"

* * *

The night sky above us was full of stars. I thought that maybe the view from this rickety old bench described my relationship with Gray-sama perfectly. He was distant, silent and cold. Sure, I knew that in reality a star burned warm and fierce and bright. But from down here on earth? Unreachable, untouchable, a pinprick of light without heat. I could love Gray-sama to the moon and back but it wasn't enough, would never be enough. By the time my feelings reached him, if they every did, I'd find that his star had burned out a millennia ago. Catch his heart? I'd have better luck trying to catch the wind.

"Juvia wonders if being emotionless is really such a bad thing." I used to be like a star. Nothing could faze me, nothing could hurt me because I'd damn near been through the seven circles of hell and hit rock bottom already. No one came close to me. I was aloof, quiet and wore the bone chilling dampness of the rain like a coat of armour the entire time I'd been in Phantom Lord. I'd been close to burning out too, until Makarov-sensei helped me.

When I moved to Magnolia I'd been planning to be, at best, platonic about my relationships with fellow students. I'd be polite, unassuming and try not to draw too much attention to myself or Gajeel-kun. This was our fresh start and a chance to make myself over as a sweet girl, a nice girl. The girl I might have always been if my parents hadn't squeezed the joy out of everything good about life and Bora hadn't made me feel tarnished and worthless. I don't know when my new start had been corrupted.

Never mind. I knew. It started the moment I bumped into the boy with the dark hair and piercing blue eyes. The boy who'd stolen my breath and my heart in one fell swoop, and given me nothing but pain in return.

"Juvia is tired of hurting so much. Maybe Juvia should just stop caring again."


	11. The Truth About Us

_A/N: Juvia's still under the influence of the drugged drink._

_I do not own Fairy Tail_

_Chapter Ten - The Truth About Us_

I wasn't sure what to say. For a start, it sounded like Juvia was talking more to herself than she was to me. I couldn't even imagine her being emotionless. Everything she thought or felt always showed up on her face. She was probably terrible at keeping secrets.

"It was love at first sight," Juvia said abruptly. She'd let her head fall back so that it rested against my arm. "It was like… something out of a fairy tale."

"Juvia, what-"

"Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was different. Not a typical prince but confident, a flirt, with a little bit of that bad boy charm all girls like. And there was a girl. A girl in an ivory tower built by her own hands."

"Juvia-"

"And then there was the rain but Juvia doesn't want to talk about that. It doesn't make for a good story."

I let out a breath. Should I just let her talk this thing out? When someone was caught in a delusion were you supposed to bring them back to reality or just let them believe what they wanted? "Why don't you have some more water?" I nudged her elbow gently and she did take another few mouthfuls of water. Hopefully she'd start feeling better soon.

"When we met, Juvia felt this connection, like electricity, lighting up the air between us. Juvia thought he felt it too. It was so… real. On a different level from everything, anything. It was fate."

I wasn't sure about _that _but I did have a feeling I knew exactly who and when she was talking about. "Juvia, why don't you rest quietly? I'll take you home soon." I felt bad enough already. The last thing I wanted to hear was Juvia confessing how torturous her unrequited love with me was.

"Juvia never meant to stalk Gray-sama. Things just ended up that way. You believe Juvia right?"

"Yes, of course. Let's talk about something else." My mind went blank trying to think up an alternative conversation topic and Juvia was all too willing to fill the silence.

"It was just that, Juvia was so shy. You see, Juvia only had Gajeel-kun before and then suddenly Juvia had everybody. All the girls at the dorm were so friendly and people at school were falling all over themselves trying to meet Juvia and include Juvia and help Juvia. It was nice, but so intense. Juvia felt like saying 'One at a time please!' but Juvia couldn't. That would've been rude. So Juvia smiled, and smiled, and secretly wished she could have five seconds by herself. The one person Juvia truly wanted to talk to never even glanced Juvia's way. And for some reason, that was okay because he was that little bit of quiet in a world full of noise. Juvia got the same feeling watching Gray-sama as when she swims. So it was okay, you know, just to watch him for a little bit. Stolen moments when no one was asking _'Is Juvia okay?'_ or _'Is Juvia settling in?'_ or even worse _'What was Juvia's life like before Juvia moved here?'_. Juvia could be herself, not worrying about if anyone would discover the truth and simply admire Gray-sama."

Oh God. "Juvia please don't tell me this. I think this is stuff you'll regret saying once you're feeling better."

"Please, Juvia feels like telling someone and you've been so kind to Juvia."

This was getting out of hand, "Juvia. I _am _Gray."

Juvia lifted her head, looked me dead in the eye and said, "Don't be ridiculous. The real Gray-sama is never this nice to Juvia."

"Yeah, I am. Sometimes. Right?"

"Wrong. Gray-sama is always mean to Juvia. Always."

I could admit being a little cold to her sometimes. Maybe a bit harsh when I tried to push her away or maintain some kind of distance between us but _always _mean to her? That was an over exaggeration. The bitch comment had definitely been a one time thing. It wasn't like I said that kind of shit all the time to Juvia. "I-, I mean, 'Gray-sama' is not always mean to you." It was weird talking about myself in the third person but I wanted Juvia to admit I wasn't that bad of a guy. After my massive fuck up tonight, I _needed_ to hear her say it.

* * *

The other Gray obviously had a high opinion of the real Gray-sama. That made me like him that little bit more but he was mistaken about the real Gray-sama. "Just listen. Juvia will tell you. For three weeks Juvia watched, too shy to say anything but Juvia was always going to talk to Gray-sama. And Juvia did. Once everybody calmed down and the appeal of 'the new girl' wore off a little. Juvia finally said 'Hi' and-"

"Then tried to talk his ear off. I remember. You went from being virtually speechless to talking non-stop. I was really surprised. I had you pegged as this shy, quiet girl."

I felt my face heat up, "Juvia was nervous! Gray-sama is really popular and handsome. Any girl would have a racing heart talking to him!"

The other Gray grinned, "What can I say? It's a gift and a curse."

I glared up at him and he gestured for me to continue. I took a deep breath, "Gray-sama put a finger to Juvia's lips and said-"

"That's nice bae but I've got tryouts." The other Gray shrugged and my head moved to. I couldn't remember but I'd ended up with my head resting on his shoulder and his arm was holding me lightly, his fingers rubbing gently up and down my arm. "I was busy that day and I thought you'd never stop talking."

"This is Juvia's story! And don't be so familiar with Juvia." I tried to sit up properly but the world tilted and my head ended up back on his shoulder.

"Relax Juvia. I've got you, okay."

"Don't tell Gray-sama about this," I mumbled but in truth this boy was so like Gray-sama I was getting confused.

"Gray-sama won't mind." He winked at me, "Trust me, I know."

* * *

Juvia made a non-committal noise like she didn't really believe me. She didn't move though. I wasn't sure if I should take that as a good sign because she trusted me or a bad sign because she still had enough drug in her system not to mind a 'stranger' touching her.

"So Juvia tried again. And again. And again to talk to Gray-sama but every time he shot Juvia down."

I scoffed, "No, I didn't."

"Not now, Juvia. I don't have time for this, Juvia. Look Juvia, you're not my type. Gray-sama said all these things."

"They were true!" I wasn't impressed with her attempt to mimic my voice and was beginning to feel a little defensive. Whatever happened to her blind admiration of me? I felt bad about tonight but I wasn't some kind of creep.

"But all Juvia wanted was to talk to him! Juvia wasn't asking for flowers. Juvia liked Gray-sama so much. Juvia thought if Juvia could simply talk to Gray-sama he might understand but Juvia never got the chance. After a month of trying Juvia couldn't even get near Gray-sama to say hello. He saw Juvia coming and went the other way." An unhappy frown appeared on Juvia's face, "Juvia was sad."

I let out yet another long breath and reeled in my frustration. Obviously Juvia and I would see our interactions differently. "I'm sorry you were sad but you're really not Gray-sama's type." Truth be told my 'type' was pretty, fun and single which covered a fairly large proportion of girls. Juvia was unlucky not to be included but that's the way things were.

Juvia shook her head, "It's more than that. Gray-sama talks to lots of girls who aren't his type. Gray-sama has many friends that are girls. Juvia does love Gray-sama, but Juvia would have liked to at least be one of his friends."

"We are friends," I said without hesitation.

"Gray-sama always says so but then he does not treat Juvia like a friend. At the harvest festival he said, _'Wait here, Juvia. I'll be right back.' _Gray-sama never came back. Juvia stood there for four hours watching everyone else have fun while Juvia waited."

I scratched the back of my head, "I don't remember that and if I'd known you were actually waiting I would have come back. Four hours, really?"

"Hmm, the janitor had to send Juvia home because Juvia was still there when everyone else had left."

My bad. I probably hadn't expected her to take my instructions literally and simply fed her those lines as an excuse to escape. I hadn't known Juvia well enough in October to worry over how she'd interpret anything I said or did. Back then I still thought she had a temporary crush that would fade with time. "Sorry," I said and really meant it. That was a stupid thing to have done, but I never would have told Juvia that if I'd known she'd take it so seriously. "But that was only once though. I'm definitely not _always _mean to you."

Juvia sent a sad smile my way. "No, that was just the first time. The same week Gray-sama laughed at Juvia's Halloween costume."

The memory bounced into my head. I hadn't really dressed up. I'd spent five minutes smearing some fake blood on and ripped up an old t-shirt to wear. Instant zombie. The girls had gone all out though. Mira had been visiting that weekend from college and convinced everyone to go to this stupid party. I still remember her and Lisanna dressed as witches. Juvia had gone as the Queen of Hearts. I _had_ laughed at her, not because she looked silly but because she looked hot, and I'd been so tongue tied looking at her. I hadn't been able think of anything remotely nice to say so I'd made fun of her instead.

Funny, I hadn't remembered doing that until just now. I guess last weekend wasn't the first time Juvia had stunned me into silence or acting like a jerk because of how she looked. "That was…" I frowned. It had been a little mean and immature too. Would it have killed me to tell her she looked good?

"And then the next week we were assigned to be partners for the geography projects. After class Gray-sama corned Sensei and demanded to switch partners because he didn't want to 'do it' with Juvia. Juvia only misunderstood that double entendre the first time. That time Juvia got it right away. The guy with the reputation for sleeping around didn't want to be alone with Juvia, even for school work."

I bit my lip, "Umm..." That was a such a small thing to have made a fuss over. I'd ended up paired with Lucy and now that I was putting two and two together I realised I was probably responsible for the animosity that Juvia had felt for Lucy the entire first term of school. I'd more or less nominated Lucy for the role of love rival. "That was juvenile. Sorry." Juvia seemed to have a way of making me lose my cool and act like a little kid. Thinking back, I had a lot more to apologise for than just my bad behaviour tonight.

* * *

It was never my intention to annoy Gray-sama. I simply couldn't figure out why he disliked me so much. Surely we should have at least been able to be real friends? I'd never told anyone about all these things. Even my letters to Nieve censored out the worst of my interactions with Gray-sama. Besides, sometimes Gray-sama was lovely to me. Especially when we hung out in a big group with everyone else. He could be charming and funny when he wanted to, even to me, if the place and time was right. So, I constantly tried to ignore or excuse the way Gray-sama treated me when we were having an off-day. Which happened more often than not. But he'd crossed some kind of line tonight that I hadn't even known existed. The floodgates were open and I found myself unable to stop talking.

_"And the time when…"_

_"And then he said…"_

_"Once Gray-sama did…"_

* * *

I could have figured it out for myself if I spent less time avoiding Juvia and more than five minutes considering how I actually treated her. Unfortunately, Juvia had decided here and now was a great time to get everything off her chest. She went on and on, recounting every time I'd ever been unkind to her. The list was extensive and each example of my cold heartedness compounded all the guilt I already felt about tonight. Juvia hadn't even made it to the events of the winter break when I'd put a snowball down her back and I felt about two inches tall. Every example she gave was another weight on my shoulders and a scale falling away from my eyes. I _was _mean to her, had been since almost the day we met, and for the life of me I couldn't figure out why. It wasn't like I hated her. Plenty of girls that I wasn't interested in came on to me. I'd never dream of doing half of this stuff to them. But I'd done it to Juvia. I swallowed hard, "Why didn't you give up? This guy is treating you like crap and yet you keep trying."

"Gray-sama is Juvia's calm at the centre of the storm, the noiseless place at the bottom of the pool. Gray-sama stops the rain. It's not something anyone could have done. Juvia couldn't give up trying to talk to Gray-sama but Juvia started watching him from a distance again. Because being too close to Gray-sama hurt and it seemed like the harder Juvia chased Gray-sama the faster he would run away."

Whatever she saw in me, I sure as hell didn't. I didn't think it was possible to hate myself more than I did right now but I had a suspicion that needed clarifying. "So if… if I, I mean if Gray-sama had just been nice to you, treated you like a real friend, then… you never would have kept following this jerk around?"

Juvia shrugged, "Juvia wouldn't have had to follow Gray-sama around."

Shit. This was some heavy stuff. If Juvia was being honest, and despite her drugged state I had no reason to think she wasn't, then it was my own actions that'd made her resort to trailing after me like a lost puppy. I'd given her every reason to want to put some space between us and watch me mostly from a distance. Maybe another girl would have simply called it quits. I didn't know anything about rain or being a quiet place for her but Juvia obviously wasn't a quitter. Even with a bastard like me treating her like crap. So instead of giving up she'd come up with a way that at least offered her heart a little protection from my coldness. I guess, a safety buffer of physical distance was as good a shield as any.

Of course I hadn't realised that was what was happening. I'd been blind to anything but wanting her to stay away from me. Somewhere along the way Juvia and I had become trapped in this vicious cycle where the harder she tried to get close to me, the more I pushed her away which only made her more desperate, which in turn only made me act like a bigger jerk. She had her reasons for wanting to be near me but what was my excuse for not only trying so desperately to keep her at bay but acting like an idiotic twelve year old in the process?

I was friends with plenty of girls. Turned down others left and right when I wasn't interested in them and cut a girl loose the second I had an inkling that she was getting too attached to me. But I was always nice. Charming even. Not to brag but I was pretty good with women. They easily could have seen me as simply using them for the sex, and in a way I guess I was, but I didn't have any vengeful ex-lovers. There was no trail of broken hearts, no sea of tears left behind me… Alright maybe there were a _few _girls who wouldn't mind if I dropped off the surface of the planet but in general the only thing I ever left behind was a series of half-empty beds. I was careful about that. No matter what my reputation might suggest, I didn't intentionally fuck around with anyone I thought I would hurt.

Yet, somehow I'd fucked it up with this one girl. In a big way.

_You're like an immature little boy on the playground teasing the girl you like because you can't admit how you really feel._

Out of nowhere Cana's words popped into my head. Fuck! That was _not _the reason!

* * *

The other Gray was so sweet. He'd let me cry all over him and then unburden all my troubles with Gray-sama on him. He was a good listener, once he'd stopped protesting Gray-sama's innocence. I wasn't really complaining about the last few months. I'd gotten use to the routine I had with Gray-sama. It was just so frustrating, not knowing what I was doing that was so wrong as to make him be so mean to me. Sometimes, we'd have a normal conversation and then he would switch on me, practically mid-sentence, as if he only just remembered he was meant to be mean to me. It was bizarre and immensely annoying.

In any case, our relationship had been on a slow downward spiral for months now as I thought up new ways to be close to him and he thought up new ways to avoid me. It was like some twisted cat and mouse game we played with each other. I'd tried literally everything I could think. Even changing my hair and the way I dressed as if being prettier would help but nothing had made one bit of difference. If anything, our interactions had only became worse until half the time before I could even open my mouth Gray-sama was saying something to warn me off him. I suppose I could have stopped trying but it wasn't in my nature to be a quitter. Add in the fact that Gray-sama was extremely inconsistent with how he acted around me, always giving me just enough hope to think that maybe the next time would be different and we had a recipe for disaster. The truth was, Gray-sama and I had a very complicated push and pull, one step forward two steps back kind of relationship.

Until last weekend. That had been different. A huge step away from the ordinary for both of us. He'd been acting weird since then and I'd been through just about every emotion possible. The last seven days had been nothing short of a complete rollercoaster. One moment we were fighting, then Gray-sama was kissing me in some stupid cupboard. He looked at me with lust one day, and spite the next. I convinced myself he liked me because of one event, then talked myself right out of believing it because of an abrupt 180 turn in his behaviour. And then there was tonight. I swallowed hard to force the tears down. This was ridiculous. Why was I doing this to myself? For what reason was I giving up everything, literally everything right down to my self-respect for a boy who didn't love me, would never love me? A guy who barely bothered to learn anything about me all year other than the things he didn't like. Why? Why did I have to fall in love like this? I was so tired of this. If this was fate... Then I'd had enough. "Juvia thinks-"

The other Gray jumped up suddenly. I instantly missed his warmth and having him as a pillow for my head. He began pacing in front of the bench, "There has to be a different reason!"

Eh? What was he talking about?

"It's not that. It can't be that! I would never, ever feel that way," he mumbled under his breath.

I tried again, "About last weekend and this weekend Juvia thinks-"

"That's it!" The other Gray froze and pointed at me, "Last weekend! Halloween. All those times you wore something nice. Of course. It all makes sense now."

"Ano ne…"

"I'm physically attracted to you," he declared. My mind went blank and I could only stare at him.

"Don't you see," he said and grabbed my shoulders, "I was attracted to you the first time I saw you. But I always knew you were way too innocent and too interested in me for things to ever work out. But that doesn't mean I stopped wanting you. Oh my God. It all makes sense." He let go of me and went back to pacing, "I want to… but I can't… and so… Why didn't I realise this sooner? It's because it's you!"

"Umm…" This was weird and I was starting to get freaked out. Never mind that his ceaseless pacing was making me dizzy. Maybe this Gray was the real Gray-sama's mentally unstable twin that nobody knew about.

He stopped again, leaned over with his hands resting either side of my shoulders on the bench behind me and stared down at me. For a long moment everything was perfectly still. I blinked back at him, hardly daring to breathe. What was going on?

"It's because you're beautiful."

I blushed. It was hard not to. For a crazy moment I could almost pretend that it was really Gray-sama saying those words to me.

"You've been driving me insane. So slowly I hardly even noticed it myself. I've done so many stupid things to try and keep you away from me. I even forced myself to stop noticing how pretty you are." His left hand moved to cup my face, "I got a little carried away with everything but my intentions were good. Someone like me can't be too close to someone like you." He laughed softly, "At least not without ruining everything. You're too much of a good girl. I never meant to hurt you Juvia." I watched him push off the bench and walk away from me. "This is fucked up."

I stayed silent. I was more than a little confused to be honest. Things seemed to be happening in fast forward around me while my brain was stuck in slow motion. The other Gray shoved his hands in his pockets and kicked a pebble. He seemed lost in thought.

* * *

I was a bastard. I could not believe I'd spent practically the entire school year intentionally being cold to Juvia just because I knew I couldn't sleep with her. This revelation was the final straw for me. It was one thing to realise I was unnecessarily harsh towards Juvia, it was quite another to know it was for entirely self-serving reasons. I glanced over my shoulder. Juvia was looking at me like I was the one under the influence of a drug but really, I don't think I'd ever seen things more clearly.

In my own messed up way I'd been trying to keep us from falling into an awkward situation. I couldn't sleep with Juvia for all the obvious reasons but I couldn't stop wanting her either. Those two wishes of mine were completely incompatible. Because I hadn't dealt with the issue head on, or even admitted that was the problem at all, it was inevitable that things had become twisted over time. Being cold to Juvia was a defensive mechanism I'd subconsciously come up with to ensure I didn't give in and mess around with a girl that was serious about me. It had backfired massively and only succeeded in making things between us worse. Instead of convincing her to give up on me, I'd driven her to try harder so we'd ended up in a tangled mess of our own design. I guess it was our personalities. Neither of us were willing to back down on what we wanted but our end goals were at cross purposes to each other.

For me, Juvia didn't fit into any box. She was too pretty for my thoughts of her to be strictly platonic yet she was also too much in love with me for a casual fling to work. I couldn't label her as a friend and seal her away in a neat 'no touch' category because she simply refused to stay there. Any other girl would have taken the hint and eased up a bit the first time I was a little distant but not Juvia. She kept trying, so in desperation I'd set her adrift in no man's land and tried to ignore her. The elephant in the room finally had an identity. I'd met a girl I simply could not handle.

"We need to fix this." I said, more to myself than to her. I at least hoped we could. Somehow. I couldn't leave things the way they were now that I knew the truth about us. The problem wasn't Juvia. It was me. It sounded like she'd be okay with being friends with me. Well, not okay, but at the very least I could probably convince her to quit following me around and talk to me normally. But that all hinged on me. I was the one that had to find a better way to cope with the fact that I was attracted to a girl I could in no way touch. Being a bastard was obviously not the answer. Especially now that I could no longer ignore how attracted I was to her. I had thought over the last few days that as long as Juvia kept annoying me that'd be a good enough way to police my lust for her but that was a cop out and perpetuated the circle we were trapped in. I needed to think about this. We had to find some kind of healthy balance that kept us as friends but also kept me out of her bed.

If I had both of us figured out correctly then the basic plan was for me to grow up, stop being such a dick and deal with my physical attraction to Juvia like an adult and not a brat. Easier said than done of course, especially since I had a feeling both her and my bad habits would be hard to break. I didn't want to keep treating Juvia badly but if I was too nice she'd get the wrong idea and Mavis knew all hell would break loose if I was stupid enough to actually sleep with her. Not that I would. Ever. But, Juvia was hot and definitely wouldn't say no to me if we happened to be in that situation… And I'd nearly made out with her twice in the last week alone. Shit. This was playing with fire for sure. How could I actively be a good friend to Juvia without crossing that line? I hadn't a clue, which is of course how this whole problem started in the first place. I bit back a sigh. Before I started thinking about solutions for a seemingly unsolvable dilemma, I owed one very pretty girl an epic apology. I sat down next to Juvia again and she slumped against my shoulder. All her talkativeness was gone and she whispered, "Can we go home now?"

I guess the drug was still playing havoc on her mind, jerking her in and out of the moment. I was almost grateful. I needed to have a serious talk with Juvia but I couldn't while she was like this. I figured I had at least the rest of the night to think all of this new information over. It was a lot to take in. "Sure. Want me to carry you?"

"Juvia can walk."

"It's okay. You don't have your shoes on and I think walking in heels might be asking a little too much."

Juvia looked down at her bare feet as if noticing for the first time. "Oh."

"Yeah, oh." I knelt down to make it easier for her, "Come on then. We're almost there."

* * *

Someone was calling me gently. My mouth tasted like sand paper and I struggled to open my eyes, "Gray-sama?"

"Hey Juvia. Sorry to wake you again. I brought you home. Where are your keys?"

Home. I looked around at the familiar front porch of the dorm. Keys. "Umm. Juvia left them… in the potted plant."

"Seriously?"

I shrugged, "We all do. All the time. Whenever we don't feel like taking a bag out with us."

"Good to know," Gray-sama murmured. "I'm going to put you down now. Try not to fall over."

The wooden decking was rough under my bare feet. I swayed a little, watching Gray-sama retrieve my keys and tried to figure out why he was here. "Juvia is drunk?"

"No baby, you're not drunk. Don't worry about it. Tomorrow this whole night will seem like nothing more than a bad dream."

Baby? I blushed, "G-G-Gray-sama!"

"Oh hey, you're back," he said as he went to the front door. The lock clicked and Gray-sama held out a hand to me, "How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Three."

"It's two but that'll have to be close enough. I'm Gray-sama right?"

"Yes," I said confused, "Who else would Gray-sama be?"

"Wouldn't you love to know. Come on. Let's get you to bed."

I hesitated for a heartbeat then figured everything out. This was clearly a dream. There was no other explanation for Gray-sama calling me baby and offering to put me to bed. I managed two shaky steps before Gray-sama took my elbow and steadied me. "Lean on me. I've got you."

What a bizarre dream. Everything felt almost too real. Including my pounding headache, sore throat and queasy stomach. I'd never dreamt anything like this before that's for sure.

* * *

Juvia was as wide-eyed as a baby lamb and nearly as unsteady on her feet. I wrapped my arm around her waist and we took slow steps into the foyer. "Where's your room?" I whispered the question, conscious of how quiet the house was. Juvia pointed out the way to a room at the back of the dorm on the ground floor. Her steps seemed to become steadier as we went but I had to open her door after she managed to drop her keys three times trying to put the key in the lock. The room was pitch black but Juvia reached out automatically and with practised ease snapped the light on.

I was surprised.

Juvia's room was… normal looking. I won't lie. I'd half expected her room to be a shrine to me. She had my name on her school bag and pictures of me all over the inside of her locker so I'd been bracing myself for the worse. Of course after the revelations of tonight I should have figured out that wouldn't be the case. Juvia was more of an accidental stalker. She was only obsessive because I'd pushed her to be that way. Of her own accord, she was probably only slightly more extreme than anyone else's average unrequited love. As it was, there was only one picture of me on her wall and a plushie version of me nestled in among her pillows on her bed. I could live with that.

Juvia disappeared into her bathroom. I was a little worried that she'd fall over and hurt herself again but within a minute I heard the sounds of her brushing her teeth and decided not to worry about it too much. I wandered further into her room, mildly curious. Everything was neat and tidy, impeccably organised. She had a bookcase full of textbooks and novels. All in alphabetical order of course. From the top right corner of the bookcase hung a _teru teru bozu. _On a small table rested a box of sewing stuff which made sense. I was pretty sure they didn't sell 'Gray-sama' dolls in any shops so both it and the _teru teru bozu _had to be handmade. Two flowerpots rested on the windowsill. I didn't know what the flowers were but they smelled nice. On her desk was a revision timetable, a hefty stack of flashcards covered in her neat handwriting and a letter written on expensive looking pink stationary.

I had a quick skim of one paragraph at random. Someone named Daisuke was doing a rotation in the emergency medicine department. Apparently the hours were strange and the author of the letter hardly got to see him. I skipped to the end of the letter, a whole four pages later. It was signed - _Lots of love, Nieve_. No idea who that was. I don't think Juvia had ever mentioned having a pen pal or anything like that. A friend from her old school? I really didn't know anything about her. Had actively tried most of the year _not _to know her. I guessed that might be about to change.

* * *

I looked at myself in the mirror. My face was pale, eyes glossy and there was a random band-aid stuck to my cheek. I touched it gently and the hidden wound throbbed. Maybe this wasn't a dream. I tilted my head to have a better look at the faint bruise that was spreading across my throat. Definitely not a dream. It felt like someone had tried to choke me. I took a deep breath and tried to remember.

Nothing. I got nothing. My image in the mirror wavered, blurred and settled back down. My eyes weren't working properly. I felt shaky and weak. Three minutes of brushing my teeth couldn't quite get rid of the weird taste at the back of my throat. Gray-sama had said I wasn't drunk but he'd also had to bring me home. A journey I couldn't remember. From a place I couldn't remember. Not good. I pressed a damp cloth to my eyes. Gray-sama was acting so protective, treating me like a fragile figurine that would break if handled too roughly.

Truthfully, I felt a little breakable. My body was sore. My head ached. Trying to concentrate only made it worse. All I really wanted to do was lie down.

* * *

Juvia came out of the bathroom and flopped onto her bed. I watched her for a moment then got up from my seat at her desk to check on her. She was staring blankly at the ceiling. "Juvia?" No answer. Okay then. Her legs were still dangling off the edge of the bed so I grabbed a hold of them, placed them on the bed then rolled her onto her side.

As soon as I had her settled, Juvia asked, "Gray-sama, what happened to Juvia?"

"I'll explain in the morning. Try to sleep."

Juvia frowned at me and started tugging on her jewellery. What she had on tonight wasn't anywhere near as sensational as what she'd worn last weekend. The top half of the dress was plain black and the bottom half was plain white. There wasn't anything special about it but she'd jazzed it up with various gold accessories. She gave up wrestling with the thick bangle on her wrist and simply held her left arm out to me.

I put one knee on her bed and pulled it off for her, "I'll put it on your desk."

"Thank you. And this," Juvia said pointing at her chunky necklace.

* * *

Gray-sama's fingers brushed against the skin at the back of my neck sending shivery tendrils of excitement that I couldn't control down my spine. Did he know? Could he tell? Of course he could. My love for him wasn't exactly subtle. I felt a wave of sadness and loneliness sweep through me. Even with Gray-sama so close to me, I was alone.

"Did Gray-sama mean it?" I asked softly and he froze.

* * *

I didn't need to ask to know that Juvia was talking about my stupid comment from the club. My fingers slipped on the clasp of her necklace for the third time. She was looking up at me, eyes like deep pools of spring water. I had serious doubts about Juvia remembering anything about tonight with any sort of accuracy which is why I'd deflected her earlier question but this one deserved a straight answer.

"No. No, I didn't mean it."

She closed her eyes and a single tear started the slow slide down the left side of her face. I caught it with my thumb and braced myself for another waterfall of tears but no more came. Instead Juvia rolled away from me, onto her stomach, and buried her face into the pillows. She was hurt. Or mad. Probably both. I didn't blame her.

Her shift in position meant I was finally able to undo her necklace. I tugged on it gently, "Juvia, let me put this away." For a second I thought she would ignore me but she rolled over again, freeing the necklace and putting half the bed between us. It might as well have been an ocean separating us.

"Gray-sama," Juvia said, her eyes were focused on me, clear as crystal with not a tear in sight, "Somehow, that doesn't make it better."

I couldn't help flinching at her words, her careful deliberate tone. I'd known, within minutes of the word 'bitch' leaving my mouth, that'd I would regret saying such a horrible thing to Juvia. What I hadn't counted on was her not being able to forgive me for it.


	12. Someone To Watch Over Me

_A/N: __I do not own Fairy Tail._

_Chapter Eleven - Someone To Watch Over Me_

My reaction to Juvia's words was complex. I was temporarily surprised but that was short lived because deep down I knew I deserved her harsh comment and so much worse than that for what I'd put her through since she'd moved to Magnolia. What followed next was the expected intense wave of renewed guilt for my terrible behaviour but also a deep sense of unease. There was something awkward and off balance about Juvia being annoyed at me. It made me feel… uncomfortable. It almost hurt. I had no right to covet her affection but faced with its loss I was distinctly unsure of how to proceed.

On one hand this was perfect. Juvia was pissed off and might have finally had enough of me. Therefore, our 'problem' was solved before I even had to bring it up with her or think of a practical solution. Tomorrow, once she'd fully sobered up, Juvia would tell me to fuck off and that would be that. I'd never have to admit how attracted to her I was or acknowledge that I was completely incapable of acting like a decent human being around her. For all intents and purposes this was the easy way out. After all these months of following me around Juvia had unintentionally given me a flawless exit strategy. It just happened to be an incredibly cruel twist of fate that Juvia was giving up on me the same night that I realised that all the crap between us needed to stop. Still, this was probably for the best. It required no effort on my part to simply let her continue to believe I was an ass who didn't give a damn about her. All I had to do was let her walk away.

Just let her go.

Easy, right?

Hadn't I been trying for months to reach this exact outcome with her?

The truth of that was undeniable. Yet, something about it felt so wrong. Simply letting Juvia waltz out of my life with the impression that I was an unfeeling bastard was not a situation I could stomach. From her place on the bed, Juvia was still staring at me. Uncomfortable with her close scrutiny I eased off her bed and placed her jewellery on her desk. Took a few deep breaths as I struggled with this bizarre feeling for a moment, trying to pin down the precise emotion behind my reasons for wanting Juvia to leave me alone, whilst also wanting so keenly for her stay exactly where she was. With me.

* * *

I don't know what I was expecting. An apology I suppose. It wasn't enough to know Gray-sama hadn't meant those words. That didn't undo that he'd said them. It hurt. Enough that I wished I'd never felt this way for him. Of course it wasn't just the pain from that one comment. It was the culmination of everything. His coldness, the way he kept me at a distance and flaunted his involvement with other girls yet somehow managed to keep me dangling on. Did Gray-sama enjoy playing with me or something?

Right now he was standing across the room from me playing with my necklace. I sighed and the soft sound filled the quiet between us. What was I supposed to do now? How was I supposed to go on? As much as I hated feeling this way, it was equally undeniable that Gray-sama occupied a special place in my heart. Cutting him out was an impossibility. I'd made the statement like it was easy but being emotionless wasn't natural for anyone. There was a reason for why I'd acted that way before and an compelling reason for why I'd changed.

Gray-sama made me feel things I'd been denying myself for years.

But was the pain worth it? He'd made it unequivocally clear that, while he wasn't above flirting with me, he definitely didn't want me as a girlfriend or even as a casual hookup. I'd been deceiving myself all this time thinking something would happen between us if I just held on a little longer. I couldn't simply tell myself to stop loving Gray-sama but ultimately I was in control of only my own actions, not his.

* * *

What exactly did I want from this girl? I didn't have a clear answer and I suspected it wouldn't come to me quickly. Mavis knew it'd taken me months just to acknowledge the power Juvia had over me. Some kind of virgin sexy voodoo. One of those you want most what you can't have things. I needed more time to figure out what I wanted relationship wise with Juvia but she'd already made up her mind. Then again she wasn't thinking straight right now. I couldn't be certain if she actually meant any of this. Even if she did, once we managed to have a rational conversation maybe I could convince her to give us a second chance at being friends. At least until I figured out if it was even possible for us to be friends.

* * *

The mattress shifted as Gray-sama joined me on the bed. He left a few inches of space between us but his hand snaked out to run through my hair. Despite my confused feelings about him that little bit of physical contact soothed me. I was so tired. My eyelids were heavy and I could feel myself edging towards sleep.

"I'm sorry Juvia. For everything. When you wake up, we'll talk about it. And things will be different. I promise."

"No they won't," I murmured, struggling to hold on to consciousness. "Everything will be over or it'll be more of the same."

"No, I-"

"Juvia knows Gray-sama." The last week aside, he was fairly predictable in his interactions with me. I couldn't change him. All I could do was change myself. Maybe.

"How can you? Apparently, I don't even know myself that well."

A smile was beyond me but the corners of my mouth couldn't help curving ever so slightly upwards. "Gray-sama is too busy being Gray-sama. Juvia's watched over Gray-sama for a long time. Maybe Juvia doesn't know all of Gray-sama's secrets or how he feels, but actions speak louder than words."

He sighed, "Then surely my actions tell you I'm a jerk. I don't get it Juvia. Why do you love me?"

* * *

Juvia had been drifting off. I should have let her rest. It'd been an eventful night and I couldn't think of anything better than a good nights' sleep to help her feel better. Tomorrow, or rather, later this morning was the time for the heavy conversation but I couldn't stop myself from asking. It was the obvious million jewel question. I didn't know much about love but it was pretty obvious that it wasn't the kind of thing that should hurt. Yet, somehow, it always did. That one particular emotion was powerful stuff. Made people do all kinds of crazy things. We'd studied _Romeo and Juliet_ in English Literature last term and I'd thought it was the stupidest story ever. Who the hell went around killing themselves like that for love? It was ridiculous. And irresponsible. And just plain dumb. So I'd written exactly that in my assignment. Scorpio-sensei had said I was missing the point and given my essay a C, but I got the point. Loud and clear.

Love fucked people up.

Not just romantic love either. I mean, parents did all kind of stupid shit for the kids they loved.

Like die to save them.

My thoughts were taking a dark turn for a place I didn't want them to go. I don't know why this thing with Juvia was making me think of _them. _Probably because I felt kind of down and depressed. Memories had a way of sneaking up on me when I was least able to deal with them. Fortunately, Juvia saved me from myself with her typical jaw dropping, out of the blue, shocking behaviour.

* * *

I felt cold and shivery; restless but drowsy all at the same time. The answer to Gray-sama's question about love was bubbling up inside me. Some logical part of my brain was telling me not to tell him but it was like I couldn't help myself. I didn't feel entirely in control of my body. I still wasn't quite sure if I was awake or dreaming. I rolled closer to Gray-sama and rested my head in his lap. He at least felt real.

* * *

Juvia had clearly decided I would make a great pillow. My hand froze but Juvia immediately mumbled a complaint so I went back to stroking her hair. This was so surreal. If someone had told me at the start of this night that I'd end up in Juvia's bed, with her head in my lap, stroking her hair until she fell asleep I'd have died laughing. Yet, here we were.

"Gray-sama is kind and loyal. He loves his friends very much."

For a moment I was confused, disorientated and distracted by Juvia's close proximity, then I clocked on to what she was talking about. Why she loved me.

"You should see him when someone he cares for is in trouble. Juvia thinks he'd do just about anything to protect his friends. Gray-sama never wants anyone close to him to be hurt or in pain. Especially Erza and Natsu. Maybe Jellal too. Oh and Lyon. And all the other girls at the dorm. And… Actually, the list is pretty long now that Juvia thinks about it."

Juvia's words embarrassed me. I think we'd pretty much established that I treated her like crap yet here she was talking about how I was a good, loyal friend. Hypocritical much? I guess I was. I couldn't help noticing Juvia had gone back to talking _about _me instead of _to _me. Was it the drug again? Or was she just sleepy? Her voice certainly had that drowsy not quite awake quality to it.

"Juvia's never met someone who acts so laid back on the surface but cares so much underneath it all. Gray-sama is like an iceberg. There's a lot more under the water than what meets the eye. Juvia wonders if anyone really knows him. Of course Juvia figured all this out later. In the beginning it was because he stopped the rain."

I frowned slightly. Juvia kept mentioning rain. I had no clue what she was talking about or how I could possibly have anything to do with it. "What rain?"

"Juvia's. Here," she added tapping her chest lightly. "One silly Eskimo kiss and it started to disappear. For years it was always gloomy. Juvia couldn't keep it away. Those kids. Juvia's parents. Bora. Phantom. Layers and layers of clouds. Gray-sama took them all away. He didn't treat Juvia like she was a failure. "

"Why would anyone do that?" Juvia's list of people who had caused this mysterious rain seemed disproportionately large. Not for the first time tonight I realised I knew next to nothing about her. Were her parents still back in Oak Town? If so, it was strange that she'd moved here. I knew that Gajeel parents were dead. Unfortunately, that was not a rarity amongst my friends, and without asking I'd assumed the same about Juvia's. She never did talk about them but I'd gotten the impression just now that they were still around. Maybe she'd fallen out with them the way Lucy had with her parents? An interesting thought. 'Bora' and this so called 'Phantom' were mysteries too. Just who was this girl?

Juvia trailed off in the middle of a confession about how much she liked my abs and her breathing evened out. She was asleep. I was none the wiser as to why she loved me and instead had a dozen new questions about her. So what if I was nice to my other friends? I hadn't been kind to her. What kind of person could endure that for months on end? I tried to read between the lines and figure out her motivation but it was like trying to look through frosted glass. Was it possible to fall in love with someone just from watching how they were with other people? I didn't know. Juvia had never made much sense to me and love in general made even less sense than she did. Maybe I'd understand her better if I actually got to know her a little bit more. If I got the chance to. Right now that was a big 'if'.

I let out a long breath. Our conversation in the morning was going to be awkward as hell. I waited a few minutes to make sure Juvia was really asleep then shifted her off my lap. A little tugging and I could pull the covers over her. I walked back to her door and switched off the light. For a moment I hesitated, then I thought to hell with it and got under the covers with her. If we were going to have a massive falling out in the morning I'd rather it was in the relative privacy of her bedroom without any interference. Mavis knew, Cana would have more than her fair share of an opinion if she caught wind of the massive shift occurring in my relationship with Juvia. I definitely didn't want to hear that.

I lay on my back and stared at the ceiling, wondering if I'd ever fall asleep or if all these thoughts would just keep circling around in my head. Juvia twisted over in her sleep and I wondered if she was dreaming. I hoped it was something nice.

* * *

_"One month."_

_"Two."_

_"One month. That's my final offer Juvia."_

_I pouted but Nieve had that stubborn look on her face that said I wouldn't be able to push her any further. "Fine. Juvia won't mention seeing Daisuke sneaking out of your room this morning and you'll give Juvia your allowance for the month." It wasn't a bad deal. I was only twelve so my weekly allowance was measly but Nieve was less than a month away from turning eighteen and had the bigger allowance to match. "What was he doing with you anyway?" _

_Nieve blushed and tucked a stray strand of hair behind one ear, "Never you mind about that. Just don't tell Father."_

_I eyed her suspiciously. There was something fishy going on. "Juvia knows what you two were doing."_

_Her eyes widened. I pointed an accusing finger at her, "You were kissing!"_

_She laughed, "You caught us. We were definitely kissing."_

_"Gross," I pulled a face at her even though I didn't mean it. When I first met Daisuke two years ago I hadn't thought much of him. He'd worn thick rimmed glasses, had a mouth full of braces and was a total nerd. He was like a walking encyclopaedia the way his head was full of useless snippets of information. He sure had changed since then. The glasses and braces were gone. He was as clever as always but now when he smiled at me some weird tingly feeling came over me. I didn't know what it was. I didn't tell Nieve because I suspected she wouldn't be happy about it. To be honest, I'd been feeling differently about her too lately. My gaze wandered down. She was wearing a tiny blue and white polka dot bikini. It just about covered what it needed to. I felt a stab of envy and wondered if I'd ever have a chest like hers. It didn't seem likely to happen any time soon. I was as flat as a board. I wished I could grow up faster and be more like her. Maybe then Father and Mother wouldn't always be so disappointed in me._

_"Come on then. We can go for a quick swim before Daisuke gets back with lunch."_

_That cheered me up instantly, "Only if you race Juvia."_

_Nieve groaned, "What's the point when we both know you'll win?"_

_My grin felt likely to split my face. Swimming was the one thing Nieve had never been better than me at. "Juvia will give you a head start."_

_"How generous." Nieve rolled her eyes but didn't resist as I dragged her up off our picnic blanket and down the pier. _

_The lake was calm, sparkling as the rays of the sun hit it. I loved summer. We spent almost every day down here, after we finished with our tutors of course. School might be out but that meant nothing to our parents. A bitter memory of this morning surfaced. My piano teacher announcing I was hopelessly bad at reading notes and she despaired of me ever learning. Father had barely blinked. He'd become accustomed to my failures and his silence spoke so much louder than any words could. Or maybe it wasn't the silence he wanted me to hear but the hauntingly beautiful sounds of Nieve practising her cello in the room down the hall._

_"We'll swim to the other side and back," I announced, "Juvia will let you get halfway before Juvia starts."_

_Nieve made a big show of rolling her shoulders and pretending to limber up. She flicked her long braid back over her shoulder, "Go easy on me."_

_I laughed and shook my head. Nieve was so perfect at everything. The story of my life was constantly being compared to her. She was the standard set by our parents yet Nieve was always telling me not to be like her. To just be myself. But 'myself' was never good enough. I don't think she understood that. Still she was always helping me with my homework or wiping my tears when I came home from school crying because of the things the other kids said to me. Sometimes I got confused and accidentally called her 'Mom'. She always laughed at that. Especially since Mother was 'Mother' and never, ever 'Mom'. _

_I watched Nieve dive under the water and set off at a brisk pace. She was leaving for college next month, two days after her birthday. I'd miss her something fierce. She said she'd write me. Every day. It wouldn't be the same. She was my buffer against the rain, against the world. I loved her._

_But not so much that I'd let her win. After all, it was nice to be better than her at something_. _The water was cool as crystal against my sun warmed skin as I took off after her. Even with her head start, Nieve was only a few meters ahead of me when I reached the other side and had a quick check of the gap between us before kicking off the other pier. By the time we'd made it back to the middle of the lake Nieve was flagging and I breezed past her, confident of my win. I pulled myself up the ladder on the pier, exhausted but happy, and turned around to tease Nieve for her slowness._

_She wasn't there._

_Erratic ripples were spreading across the previously calm lake. I scanned the water, confident she was pulling some kind of prank on me. Sure enough within seconds her head popped up in the middle of the lake. And promptly disappeared again. An icy shiver ran down my spine. She was kidding, right? This was a joke, right?_

_Nieve resurfaced, her face panicked, "Juvia! Help-" The rest of what she wanted to say was cut off as she swallowed a huge mouthful of water and sunk back below the surface._

_I stared at the spot where I'd last seen her. Seconds might have ticked by but it felt like hours before it finally clicked in my head that I was standing here watching my sister drown. I jumped back into the lake. The water that had once seemed cool and inviting, now fought against me with every stroke. I took a deep breath and dove below the surface. Nothing. I couldn't see anything. "Nieve! Nieve!" I screamed when I came up for air but she wasn't there. Another deep breath. I dove deeper this time, desperate to find her. Something, a flash of pale skin maybe, caught my eye but I needed air. A hasty breath then once more, I dove down, kicking hard, and there she was. Her long braid floating out behind her as she sunk lower and lower. Her eyes were shut but her mouth open. I wanted to cry or scream or both. My lungs were burning but I kept swimming after her until I could grab her arm. I tried to pull her up but Nieve didn't respond or help me. We kept sinking. I couldn't swim with her. My lungs ached and I had to let her go to swim back to the surface. I was certain some of water on my face were tears but I didn't think about it. I had to save her. I dove again. Nieve had settled on the bottom of the lake, a cloud of disturbed sand surrounding her. I wrapped my arms around her and tried pushing off the ground. We rose but not enough before we started sinking back down again. It hit me then that Nieve would die down here. All because I wanted to win a race against her. Be better than her at something. I screamed, air bubbles rushing out of my mouth in a mad rush. Some stupid survival instinct kicked in forcing me to let her go and head for the surface. My head spun, lack of oxygen making me dizzy. A voice in the back of my head told me it was pointless. She was too heavy for me. There was no way I'd be able to pull her to the surface but I had to keep trying._

* * *

I woke up to the sound of Juvia crying. Not inconsolable heartbroken sobs like before but soft, quiet tears that shot me straight through the heart. Thing was, she was still asleep. I was a little surprised to have fallen asleep myself. Sort of figured I'd be awake all night, thinking. That was hardly relevant now. Juvia was clearly having a very bad nightmare. I hoped it wasn't about me. I fumbled around blindly for a minute before my hand found the switch for the small lamp by her bed. The pale yellow light skimmed over the room creating twisted shadows. I shook Juvia gently and called her name a few times trying to wake her in the least startling way possible.

* * *

_I wasn't how sure how much time had passed. How many times I'd swum down to the bottom of the lake to try and do the impossible. One moment I was alone, tugging on Nieve's arm and the next Daisuke was there, his arm around Nieve's waist, pulling me along with her back to the surface. He wasn't athletic. Preferred books to sports really, but he was still nineteen and certainly stronger than I was. Nieve's body was a heavy burden slowing our progress as we kicked for the shore. It seemed to take forever. I was borderline hysterical by the time we made it there. Nieve's lips were blue, her body cold. She was dead. I knew it. I'd as good as killed my sister._

_"Go get help," Daisuke demanded, shoving me in the direction of the house. I stumbled, grazed my knee and clambered up the grassy slope. I looked back only once to see him start CPR and then-_

* * *

Juvia's tears stopped which was great but she still hadn't woken up. I was getting a little worried. What if she never woke up? Shit. I really regretted not taking her straight to the nearest hospital. Who was I to say that this was the kind of thing she could simply sleep off? I wiped her damp cheeks and shook her again, still trying to be gentle but really hoping she came around, "Juvia, wake up."

* * *

_We were lying on the couch that I hated. It was old, ugly and worst of all there always seemed to be a wayward spring digging into some sensitive part of my body. Right now it was determinedly poking a hole in my shoulder. I ignored it and instead focused on something else that was travelling in a wayward direction. Namely the fingers currently trying to undo the buttons on my school shirt. Without breaking the kiss I guided his hand back to my waist. The subtle move was wasted because his hand only started inching its way under my shirt, across my stomach, grazing my ribs, the underside of my bra... So I moved it again, with a bit more force, back to my hip. For a minute everything was okay and I could relax back into the kiss. And the stupid spring. _

_Of course I should have known better because now his hand was stroking my thigh, slipping under my skirt and this time when I grabbed his hand he didn't let me move it. I turned my head but with his weight on top of me there was nowhere for me to go, "Bora."_

_He didn't stop kissing me, just switched his attention from my lips to my neck. At least his hand stopped. Kind of. His fingers trailed dangerously close to a place I wasn't quite ready for him to explore yet. Having an older boyfriend had its perks. The looks of jealousy on the faces of those stuck up snobby bitches from school when he picked me up in his car was priceless. He paid for everything when we went out, even convinced people I was the same age as him and had simply forgotten my ID so I could drink. I really liked the way champagne tingled on my tongue even if it made me feel dizzy too. I also liked that my parents liked him. How could they not? They'd picked him out for me from amongst the sons of Father's business associates, the same way they'd picked Daisuke for Nieve. Finally, at last, this was something I couldn't mess up._

_Except I did seem to be messing this up. All because having an older boyfriend had its drawbacks too. _

_"Can you stop. Please."_

_Bora let out a frustrated growl and pulled back just enough to scowl at me, "What now?" _

_I blushed, "Juvia doesn't... About that... Eto..."_

_"Exactly how long do you expect me to wait?" He demanded and I blushed harder. _

_We didn't see eye to eye about this. It obviously wasn't a big deal to him but when I thought about losing my virginity it wasn't on some grimy couch. A girl could wish for more than a quickie after school and a bruise from that damn spring, right? But that wasn't the full truth of the matter either. I just wasn't ready. I couldn't fully explain why and that annoyed Bora. A lot. _

_I clutched at a straw he couldn't really argue with, "Juvia is still fifteen..." I didn't know what I'd say on my sixteenth birthday if I still didn't want to sleep with him and was officially no longer 'jailbait'. I wondered what onee-sama would do in this situation but the gap between her and Daisuke was only eleven months, nothing like the three years between Bora and I. I'd wanted to ask her but it was bizarrely embarrassing writing those words in a letter. Not that I'd get a response. God, I wished I could see her but our parents had kept us apart for the last three years. They'd never forgiven me for nearly killing Nieve that day at the lake. Couldn't have the useless daughter permanently scarring the perfect one. So I kept writing letters that got no answer. I doubt Nieve even knew about them._

_"Who cares?" Bora said, interrupting my thoughts. "You know what, forget it. I guess I'll have to add 'frigid' onto the list of words that describe you. It'll fit right next to 'gloomy'. I bet your sister isn't a tease like you."_

_I couldn't help flinching. Frigid. Gloomy. Not as good as Nieve. Bora climbed off me and I could imagine the look on my mother's face when she found out I couldn't even keep a boyfriend for longer than two months. "Juvia is sorry!" I couldn't fail at this. I refused to. "Juvia will do something else."_

_"Something else?"_

_I nodded earnestly, eager to please him. Bora reached out and ran his thumb over my bottom lip, "You've got a pretty mouth. Think it can do more than make empty promises?"_

* * *

Juvia's whole body tensed up, rigid as a board. Her hands crumpled the sheets. I could see her trying to physically shrink away from whatever haunted her dreams. This was crazy. What was it going to take to snap her out of this?

* * *

_I could smell the alcohol on his breath. His team had lost an important match to their biggest rivals and he wasn't happy. I didn't want to be here with him. I wasn't supposed to be here, but his promise to drive me back to my boarding school was obviously long forgotten. Then again the drive to his apartment had been scary enough. I'd been terrified that we would crash and die in a blazing inferno of twisted metal all because he insisted he wasn't too drunk to drive. I was still scared. Of him. Of what he might do. That hungry look in his eyes made me nervous. I wasn't an idiot. I knew he was getting bored of messing around with me. No matter what I did for him Bora wouldn't stop wanting more until I gave him everything. The worst part was, that after all the things he'd convinced me to do the last few months there was only one thing left. Only one. Fighting something close to panic, I backed away. Right into that couch I hated so much and stumbled. Fell onto it like some clumsy virgin offering. There was nothing wrong with Bora's motor skills now. Faster than I could react his hands were on my shoulders pinning me down and-_

* * *

I grabbed Juvia's shoulders and shook her. She was mumbling things and freaking me the hell out. The way this night was going I shouldn't have been surprised that what happened next was even freakier.

Juvia's eyes snapped open like a scene out of some horror movie and before I could say, "You're having a nightmare," the world was in motion. I blame the sense of shock for why I was completely incapable of doing anything to stop Juvia reversing our positions in a flawless judo move that would have made Erza proud. No way in hell was something this high level considered self-defence. What the hell had Gajeel been teaching this girl?

The bed complained at us moving around but I was grateful to have landed on soft pillows and not the hard floor. Honestly, I'd never been so taken aback in all my life. I'd known Juvia was stronger than she looked. This, though, was on a different level. Ninja girl indeed. Juvia glowered down at me like some kind of avenging angel, "Don't touch Juvia. Ever." Her voice was laced with venom and steel.

It was sexy.

I felt a pulse of lust for her so strong it took my breath away. This was one fucked up Saturday night and it kept getting weirder by the minute. It felt like we'd become strangers all over with a second chance to form first impressions and the one I was getting from Juvia took me right back to our first meeting. A sweet girl with those dangerous undertones that promised so much. Excitement. Fun. Crazy sex. Whatever it was it bubbled out of Juvia sending good vibes straight to the part of my brain that decided a girl was worth my time. Zeref, I was going to go crazy trying to figure her out. Where had this attraction been hiding all this time? I needed to get these feelings on lock, fast. I had so much to sort out with Juvia and this raw physical yearning for her was not helpful. Never mind the fact that I could never, should never, give in to that craving.

* * *

I was disorientated. It took me a couple seconds to decode the shadowed shapes in the room into my bed, my desk, my bookcase. I was at home, but not alone. "Did I scare you? Sorry. You were having a bad dream," said a deep voice I knew so well.

Gray-sama. In my bed. The implications escaped me as the full force of those memories hit me. I could still remember the look of horror on Mother's face as I dripped water all over the polished wooden floor and screamed, "Nieve's dead!". The utter chaos that followed. Being packed off to boarding school while Nieve lay silent and pale in a medically induced coma. Week after week of not knowing if she was alive or not because they wouldn't tell me anything. And then Bora. Oh god. I hadn't thought of that in years. The overwhelming sense of relief I'd felt when he'd passed out in a drunken stupor and I escaped with nothing more than a really bad hickey from that night. Not like there weren't other nights when I wasn't so lucky. It all felt so real, so raw. Like it had happened yesterday and not all those years ago. I pressed my hands to my eyes trying to ease the pounding ache in my head.

* * *

It must have been one hell of a dream. Juvia was trembling. Again, I hesitated before thinking 'fuck it' and pulling her down into my arms. I wasn't sure where we stood but she obviously was in need of a hug and I was fed up with watching her be unhappy tonight. And, it must be admitted, I simply wanted to touch her. Oh man, I was in so deep it wasn't even funny. "It's okay. It was only a dream."

"Not a dream," she said taking a shaky breath, "A memory."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Unfortunately, I knew a thing or two about memories that haunted dreams. The first few weeks after my parents death I'd woken up screaming every single night convinced that the burning heat of the flames in my dreams were real. A shiver ran through me. The covers had become tangled around our legs from all the twisting around we'd been doing. I kicked them off. I hated feeling warm.

* * *

I took deep, slow breaths and tried to slow my heart down. Hard to do with the conflict of emotions I was feeling. The panic of the memories was fading and in its place an acute awareness of Gray-sama's nearness was coming over me. He was shirtless, wearing only his boxers actually, and holding me far too closely. I could feel the muscles in his arms, taunt and firm. He'd quit the dojo but you definitely couldn't tell. A sense of how weird this situation was prompted me to question reality. Was it possible to have a dream within a dream? "Is this real?"

"Yeah. How do you feel?"

I decided to stick with the unabashed truth, "Confused." Little hazy bits of recent events flitted through my mind, the fractured pieces of the night a kaleidoscope of moments that didn't quite make sense but some things were falling into place.

* * *

Juvia tried to pull away from me. Instinctively, my arms tensed, keeping her where she was. "Don't."

"Why is Gray-sama here? Juvia doesn't understand. Doesn't Gray-sama…? Gray-sama said…"

"I've said a lot of stupid shit tonight. How much do you remember? Because you and I need to talk." I was far from ready for this conversation but Juvia sounded more or less lucid and damn if the only way I knew how to handle this was to jump in the deep end and see if what remained of our friendship would sink or swim.

* * *

How much did I remember? Enough to make me want to pull away from Gray-sama. The memory of him calling me a bitch was fresh and clear at the front of my mind but so were other memories. "Enno…?"

"She's fine. Well, as fine as she can be. Lyon texted me so don't worry about her. Why don't we worry about you?"

"About Juvia?" In the lamp light it was easy to see the concern on Gray-sama's face. He was worried about me. That didn't mesh well with what I'd come to expect from him. His hold on me loosened as he trailed two fingers across my neck. Against my will a sliver of lightning zinged down my spine. Even now, with everything that had happened, a simple touch from him excited me.

"You're getting a bruise." His voice was quiet but his eyes flashed. The absolute last thing I wanted was for Gray-sama to start asking questions about Vidaldus. That would lead to Phantom Lord and I was not going there with him.

* * *

"It's nothing," Juvia said, her eyes sliding away from mine. What was that? Guilt? Was she hiding something from me? "Don't worry about it," she added and I couldn't help feeling annoyed. I'd decided to get to know her and I damn well wasn't backing down now.

"It's not 'nothing' and I am going to worry about it. That shouldn't have happened to you. I shouldn't have left you there by yourself. I never should have said what I did either. I didn't mean that Juvia. It just slipped out. I know you're mad and you said it wasn't okay and maybe you can't forgive me but tonight… Tonight… Shit. Where do I even start? So much has changed tonight." I couldn't believe I'd fallen asleep when I should have been thinking and now I was bumbling around like an idiot trying to figure out what to say to this girl so she didn't unceremoniously kick me to the curb.

What could I say to fix this? The solution came to me then, like the figurative light bulb going on that everyone always talks about. The relationship I had with Juvia had hit its breaking point. It was almost certainly unsalvageable. There was no undoing the things that'd gone on between us all these months. There was only one thing for it. "Look, can we start over?"

"Start over?" A tiny indent appeared in Juvia's forehead as she frowned and I had to fight down the urge to kiss it. What the fuck was wrong with me?

"Yeah. From the very beginning. But this time instead of you watching me, I'll watch over you."


	13. Starting Over With Lies

_A/N: Thanks for all the reviews. This chapter marks the end of the first arc and the start of a new shift in Gray/Juvia's relationship. _

_I do not own Fairy Tail._

_Chapter Twelve – Starting Over With Lies_

I blinked slowly at Gray-sama, then responded the only way I knew how to such a ridiculous statement. I laughed. It started out as a small disbelieving chuckle and ended up as a deep belly laugh that had me clutching my sides and gasping for air. Gray-sama wanted to watch over me? That had to be the joke of the century. Was it April Fools' Day or something?

Gray-sama, however, looked less than amused at my outburst. "Why is that so funny?" He demanded and I could only laugh more. He scowled at me and I tried to control myself by smothering the laugh behind my hands. The odd stray sound slipped out but I did regain some sense of composure.

"Gray-sama," I couldn't hold in one tiny snicker, "Isn't that terribly ironic?"

He had the good grace to look uncomfortable, "Well, yeah but in my defence a lot has happened tonight."

You could say that again. The last of my laughter faded away, "Gray-sama called Juvia a-"

Gray held up a hand to stop me, "I know. I'm sorry. Truly, I am."

I bit my lip, "Juvia is not okay with that."

He sighed, "It just slipped out. I'm real sorry Juvia, honest. I don't think of you that way at all. I promise that will never happen again."

Gray-sama had released his hold on me when I started laughing but now that I tried to roll away he grabbed me again."You don't know Juvia," I said thinking of how he'd looked at me in the club. As if I was the kind of mean girl who'd stoop so low. Poor Enno. I felt bad for her. Gray-sama had said to worry about myself but I was fighter. I'd been through so much. Hardly anything phased me any more. Still, I knew other people didn't feel that way. Spirits could break from much less than one bully. Of course, they could handle so much more too but everyone had their breaking point. I'd stood at the edge of mine once. Only Gajeel and the strict rules of Phantom Lord had pulled me back from the brink.

"I know. I don't know much about you, but I want to. I... Shit, this is hard to get right. What I'm trying to say is... I don't fucking know."

I watched Gray-sama run his fingers through his hair in a movement I recognised. He was stressing about something. Confusion was etched on his face as he paused and seemed to mull over what he wanted to say. I let my eyes close and tried to make sense of the last few hours.

* * *

Where to start? What to say? I was terrified of fucking this up. I knew we were balancing on a knife edge. This night, this conversation, it could end so many ways. Most of them bad. I didn't want to lose Juvia. I didn't want her to hate me. The solution had come to me. A new start. A normal friendship that wasn't so obviously one sided. Yet, after her laughter, the words I needed to say had stuck in my throat. The idea _was _laughable with the way I'd treated Juvia all these months. Worst of all, the words that might undo some of the pain I'd caused would sound like some kind of perverse confession that I actually wanted her in my life when all this time I'd been trying so hard to push her out of it. Never mind the fact that I was realising just how much I _did _want her around. I wasn't anywhere near ready to start contemplating that, much less voicing it. Mavis knew, I sure as hell had zero experience in explaining how I felt to a girl. Mainly because I tended not to _feel _anything. Or at least I convinced myself I didn't feel anything. Unfortunately, I'd blurted out a few stupid comments earlier, when I'd first figured everything out, and now I was desperately hoping Juvia didn't remember them. Would never remember them if possible. I bit back a groan as I remembered calling Juvia beautiful right to her face. Juvia would never let me live it down if she recalled that. So far she seemed to be focussing on the bitch comment. That, while undoubtedly a low point in the night, was at least something I could handle.

"Okay. Why don't we start with that and see if we can sort this out?"

Juvia shot me an irritated glance, "Sort what out? Gray-sama is not making sense and is confusing Juvia."

* * *

Really, what the devil was he talking about? Gray-sama was saying a lot of words but nothing that made any sense. As the memories of tonight clicked into place I had a lot more to worry about than simply being upset with Gray-sama.

Vidaldus. Trinity Raven. The invisible thread connecting my past deeds right up to the moment Vidaldus decided to make me his target. The skeletons from my past were no longer content to remain hidden away.

I needed to talk to Gajeel as soon as possible. We had to nip this in the bud before it spiralled out of control and our past lives came crashing into Magnolia with a bang. Vidaldus hadn't been specifically looking for me which was the one advantage we had right now. If we could deal with him then our current location wouldn't get back to Phantom Lord. I could only imagine what Jose would do with that kind of information. Come after us no doubt. How he would do so was a different question entirely. He could take the open armed approach. Welcome Gajeel and me back like recalcitrant children who had strayed from the path. Of course once he realised we weren't so keen to fall back in line his attitude would change. In the end, whether it was delayed or not, Jose's response would be an iron fist. We'd broken from the gang. Left with no word or warning and never looked back. It was a betrayal that would not be easily forgiven or forgotten. Vengeance would be swift. Retribution guaranteed. With a small tremor I realised that if we didn't get this situation under control it was only a matter of time before those skeletons in my closet materialised into flesh and blood.

* * *

I felt Juvia tremble and couldn't resist pulling her to me, fitting her against me. We lay facing each other, our legs tangled together, lips mere inches apart. I ignored the voice in my head that pointed out how well she fit here, in the hollow of my arms. I also ignored how easy it'd be to kiss her right now. The side of me that liked to fool around was going mental. If I made it through this night without putting some kind of move on Juvia I'd count it as a personal achievement of excellent self-restraint. I wasn't use to holding back around a girl as hot as Juvia was, especially not when I was lying half dressed in that girl's bed. _Friends_, I reminded myself, _that's all we'll ever be. _All we ever _could _be.

Juvia seemed to be having a different problem all together with our proximity to each other. She made a small sound of protest and fisted her hands against my bare chest. Now that I knew to look for it, I could sense the power in her arms as she tried to push away from me. For a moment I contemplated which of us would win if we ever sparred together than immediately dismissed the thought. That wasn't going to happen.

When she opened her mouth, probably to demand I unhand her, I shushed her before she could utter a single word. Juvia looked even less happy about that but really this conversation wasn't going at all as well as I'd hoped. My indecision was confusing Juvia and annoying her more. Time to switch tactics.

* * *

"Why are you being like this? We both know you love me. You'll forgive me in two days anyway so don't act all pissed off now."

My mouth dropped open. _This _was Gray-sama's idea of an apology? He'd seemed genuinely contrite literally seconds ago but he'd also seemed really confused. Looking at him now it was obvious he'd come to a decision. A decision to be insufferably cocky. "Gray-sama!"

"Well, you do love me don't you? Admit it. You're crazy about me. You want me."

He matched the words with a suggestively arched eyebrow and I knew my face was heating up but this was just too audacious. "Juvia is really mad at Gray-sama right now. What Gray-sama said hurt Juvia."

"I apologised already. Several times actually. We need to stop playing these fucked up games with each other. As in, right now. From this minute on, no more stupid shit is going to happen between us."

Something in me bristled. Gray-sama was in the wrong. Not me. He couldn't talk to me like this. He'd called me a bitch and then- A jumble of memories came flooding back to me. Gray-sama picking me up off the ground. More than once if I could trust these hazy memories. Holding my hair and rubbing my back when I was sick. Patiently, cleaning all my little scrapes with his ripped up t-shirt. A rush of embarrassment and gratitude changed the heated words on my tongue into a question. "Did Gray-sama carry Juvia all the way home?"

* * *

Juvia's question threw me off but I guess I wasn't the only one who could switch up the tone of our conversation without any notice. Still, being indecisive and apologetic hadn't gotten me anywhere. Faking confidence apparently was. "Of course I did. I told you I care about you. Things are not going to be like they were before."

Quiet settled between us. Juvia looked torn. Probably deciding if my one off act of kindness was enough to cancel out months of coldness. I knew it wouldn't so I pressed my advantage while I had her attention.

* * *

Gray-sama's arms spanned the length of my back, one hand between my shoulder blades, the other on my lower back, pressing me closer and closer. If I moved just a tiny bit I could kiss him. I wondered if he'd let me. Then I tried to squash those thoughts but it was pointless. I was still mad at him but the subdued spark of affection I felt for him flickered back into life thinking of him carrying me all the way home from downtown Magnolia. _I care about you. _He'd never said anything like that to me before or asked to know anything about me. A part of me thought it was too little, too late but another part of me was craving this new start Gray-sama was offering me.

"I don't think you're a bitch," he was saying and my eyes were riveted on the shapes his mouth made. "And I don't think you're a mean girl. I could apologise a million times but I can't take back those words. Don't be angry. Please. I hate it when you're mad at me."

Some of the arrogance was gone and I was again facing a contrite Gray-sama, albeit one who clearly expected me to forgive him easily. It was a weird way to ask for forgiveness but his attitude had snapped me out of wallowing in self pity and forced me to face some of the facts. He _had _called me a bitch but he'd also come back to find me when he could've stayed with Enno and if he hadn't been there my night could have gone much worse. I could have been sobering up from the drugged drink in whatever hellhole Vidaldus called home which was basically the epitome of 'worse'. Gray-sama had avoided me all year but whether it was intentional on his part or an act of providence it couldn't be denied that when I'd really needed someone, he'd been there. "It hurts," I murmured, still not ready or willing to completely let it go.

"I know. I'm sorry. Let me fix it."

"How?"

"I told you. I want to watch over you. Get to know you. The real you."

The thought didn't seem quite so funny now that Gray-sama was repeating it so earnestly. Did he really mean it? I'd been so close to pulling away from him tonight. To have this kind of reaction made me wonder if everything the girls had said to me all year was true. If I eased off a bit Gray-sama would come to me. With startling clarity my conversation with Enno rushed back to me. I'd told her without a shred of doubt that I'd never leave Gray-sama. Here he was, in my bed, practically begging to get to know me in this weird half-assed apology and I was basically telling him no. Wasn't this what I wanted? Okay, so it was happening in a shit way but I'd fought so hard all year and _now _I wanted to give up? I was no quitter.

The pain was real but I also felt a glimmer of hope stirring deep in my heart. Like a flower growing towards the sun I was drawn to this boy so strongly. He'd stopped the rain, unknowingly at first and then grudgingly as I persistently followed him around. Maybe now he'd do it because he wanted to. Because maybe, just maybe, Cana was wrong and Gray-sama really did treat me unkindly because he secretly liked me. Maybe, just maybe, Enno was right and Gray-sama lay awake at night thinking about me because I was exactly the kind of girl he needed in his life, even if he'd never admit that. Maybe, I could still capture his heart.

"Come on Juvia. Just give it a shot. I swear down, it'll be different this time around," Gray-sama said and we were so close I could feel his breath on my cheek.

I opened my mouth to tell him I was willing to give him a second chance but Gray-sama interrupted me before I could say anything.

* * *

"Remember, I said I'd take you out this week. I meant that. We'll do whatever you want. You'd like that right?" Hopefully if I focused Juvia's attention on only the things I wanted her to remember we could get through this night and be remade as friends with as little drama as possible. I wouldn't admit it out loud but honestly I couldn't stand the thought of her leaving me. I hated it enough to bargain almost anything for her to stay.

"Juvia thinks a day-"

"Is not enough?" Who was I kidding? Of course it wasn't enough. "Alright, a week. I'll spend a whole week with you."

Juvia frowned at me, "Gray-sama-"

"Two weeks." Damn, before tonight Juvia would have exploded with joy at me saying yes to going out with her once but I guess she knew she had me in a tight spot. I might be the one offering the pseudo-bribe but apparently Juvia wasn't above taking advantage of my guilt to get what she wanted. I normally balked against being manipulated by a woman but I owed Juvia big time. So I caved.

"That's-"

"Fine! A month! I'll spend the whole month with you," I didn't even try not to sound desperate. My time and the promise of change were all I had to convince her not to leave me. It was a small price to pay after I'd behaved so badly towards Juvia.

* * *

I gaped at Gray-sama. I'd been trying to tell him he didn't need to force himself to hang out with me. It was nice that he seemed pretty keen to be friends with me all of a sudden but contrary to popular belief I wasn't completely without self-respect. I understood that he felt bad about ignoring me, terrible about calling me a bitch and also partially responsible for tonight but I wouldn't use any of that to manipulate him into anything. He didn't have to barter time with me. I knew a bribe when I saw one. I suppose I had told him I'd stop feeling anything… Did he really care about me loving him?

No way. Could this be real?

As hurt as I was, and despite what I'd said, it was impossible for me to stay angry at Gray-sama forever. I just didn't have it in me to truly fall out of love with him. My heart would always bounce back, even if sometimes it felt like it wouldn't. I was resilient like that. But maybe Gray-sama didn't realise that. Whoa, Cana and Enno really was right about this playing hard to get thing. The hasty promise had surprised me but now I felt a little rush of power. Could I possibly get Gray-sama chasing after me?

"Gray-sama will spend a month with Juvia?"

"Yeah. I mean it when I say I want to get to know you and make all this up to you. I'm sorry Juvia. Please let me do this."

A whole month with Gray-sama. Thirty full days. I blinked and couldn't resist snuggling further into Gray-sama's arms. This was too good to be true. It was almost too easy. Why hadn't I trusted my friends all this time? I could have done this months ago minus all the Vidaldus drama. "For real?"

* * *

She was definitely giving in. I grabbed onto that slim chance and ran with it. "Yes. We can revise together and hang out and I promise I won't be a jerk to you. We'll start over. It'll be great."

I didn't mention how hard it'd be for me to keep my hands off her. Even now I found my left hand staying from her lower back, over the curve of her ass, under her dress to stroke the soft skin of the back of her thigh. She didn't mention it and I couldn't convince myself to stop. What was I getting myself into?

* * *

"Gray-sama will revise with Juvia? And take Juvia out? And talk to Juvia?"

"Yeah, of course. Whatever you want."

"Like... Dating?"

"No. Definitely _not _like that. Like friends. Good ones, but still just friends."

Uh huh. Cause he really thought I didn't notice his fingers trailing along my thigh? I might have been drugged tonight but I couldn't miss Gray-sama reverting back to his behaviour from last weekend. I didn't want him to mess with me anymore but could I really turn a chance like this down? No. Ill begotten bribe or not, I couldn't refuse. Especially since prom would fall within this one month Gray-sama was giving me and I'd yet to convince him to be my date. That little rush of power I'd been feeling became a tidal wave washing away all my previous doubts and negative thoughts. All this time Gray-sama always had the upper hand in our relationship but now it was my turn. So I'd take this month and own it. Show him how totally awesome I was and how perfect we were together. And of course, completely avoid showing him anything to do with Phantom Lord or my mottled past. Gray-sama could chase me for awhile and see if he liked it. I'd make him like it.

I'd make him love me.

"So what do you think?" Gray's eyes burned into mine, promising everything and nothing all at once.

"Maybe," I finally said because I was too stubborn and still a little too mad to give in and say 'Yes, Juvia would like that'.

* * *

Maybe definitely meant yes. I almost breathed a sigh of relief. Almost. The urge to kiss Juvia was getting out of hand so I half gave into it and skimmed my lips over her forehead. Her fists uncurled and flattened against my chest. It felt nice. Too nice. I knew I should move away but I couldn't. I wanted to get away from all the bad vibes that had been surrounding us and scrambled for a good conversation starter.

"So ninja girl, rumour has it you gave Enno's bully quite a set down."

"Ano ne, it was nothing."

"Stop saying that. Enno says you're her hero." The faint blush on Juvia's cheeks deepened. "Did Gajeel teach you all that?"

"It's just a little self-defence."

I narrowed my eyes at her, "Sure. Tell that to the guy who's spent more than half his life training at a dojo. Don't be so modest. I've seen Gajeel fight. It's cool that he taught you take care of yourself."

I'd never sparred with Gajeel. I'd quit before he joined and Sensei wholeheartedly disapproved of fighting outside of the dojo. He was real old school like that. Of course that never stopped Natsu and I beating the crap out of each other every chance we got.

"Gray-sama," Juvia's eyes searched my face, "doesn't think its unladylike?"

"Course not. I know Erza." Erza was a lot of things. Scary as hell when she wanted to be but also surprisingly feminine. People assumed she was a tomboy but I knew her better than that. She made chocolate chip cookies to die for and there was absolutely nothing tomboyish about the way she acted around Jellal. "All those gender stereotypes are stupid anyway."

"Careful Gray-sama," Juvia said with a teasing lilt to her voice, "A playboy with a feminist streak. Gray-sama will ruin his reputation."

I laughed. For all my worrying, this new start friend thing was turning out surprisingly easy.

* * *

It was uncanny. How natural it felt. Gray-sama and I were having a conversation. Like normal people. Like everything tonight hadn't happened. Crazy. Part of me wondered how long it would last. The past week since the party at Risley's house had been a series of ups and downs. One minute Gray-sama noticed me, then he was back to ignoring me. Tomorrow morning would all this be forgotten? I hoped not and if he stuck to his promise then things would never be like they were before. I had one month to revolutionise the way he thought of me and as always I wasn't aiming for the title of 'friend'.

"Now that I think about it, where did Gajeel train before?"

"Huh?" How'd this conversation come to be about Gajeel?

"Well, he must have trained somewhere to get to his level but I've never seen him at any of the tournaments."

I thought fast, "There was a club at our old school."

"Then I would have at least seen him at regional's. Didn't your school compete?"

Damn. "No, it was…" Okay, my brain was officially not up to lying-on-the-spot speed quite yet. Gajeel and I always made a point of not discussing our past. We had ready made stories for most of the more obvious questions but it wasn't like we'd bothered to fabricate an entire fake past.

Gray-sama's hand stilled on my thigh, "There wasn't a club, was there?"

"Eto…"

* * *

"I'm sorry Juvia. I don't mean to be so dense. Oak Town is pretty rough. I guess you need to know how to take care of yourself around there." Minus ten points for a total lack of suaveness. Fighting at Oak Town would never be a hobby. My thoughts of Juvia and Gajeel's past had always been little more than a superficial acknowledgement of Oak Town's notoriety. I couldn't imagine what it was like to go to a school where you were more likely to drop out with a criminal record than you were to graduate with honours.

Juvia nodded, "It's not the greatest place."

"Did you grow up there?"

I sensed some hesitation before she replied, "Gajeel did but Juvia didn't."

"It's okay. I mean, I won't judge you. I'm just curious." Maybe she thought I would look down at her because of where she was from but I wasn't a snob. "Where are you from?"

"Oh, here and there."

"Here and there?" Okay...

"Around, that way, by Oak Town but a little further east. It's a small place. Gray-sama wouldn't know it."

Damn right I wouldn't. Not with that vague explanation. "Do your parents still live there?"

Juvia flinched. It was only a subtle jolt of her shoulders. I would have missed it if we hadn't been so tangled up in each other. Parents were a touchy subject for a lot of people around here, me included. I changed the subject before she could get upset.

* * *

We were in dangerous territory. I hadn't remembered how much I loathed to talk about my past until Gray-sama started asking me questions like everyone else had when I first moved here. Was there anything I could talk about that had happened prior to me moving to Magnolia that wouldn't explode in my face? Off the top of my head I couldn't think of a single subject. Thankfully, Gray-sama wasn't as oblivious as Natsu and tactfully changed the subject.

To an equally bad topic.

"So this guy from the club," Gray-sama said softly, "Do you remember what happened?"

I licked my lips, debating how much to tell him. I had to handle this the right way. Certainly I had to answer better than I had been. "He brought Juvia a drink and Juvia knew she shouldn't but Juvia drank it anyway."

"I guess Gajeel forgot to teach you about stranger danger." It was said lightly but I could see anger smouldering in Gray's eyes and his arm tightened even more around me. "You should have kicked his ass. _I _should have kicked his ass."

"Juvia started feeling dizzy almost right away," I said grasping onto the excuse. Oh man. How could I explain my supposed knowledge of self-defence yet my inability to protect myself when it mattered most? Truth was I'd been too soft. A year of living in safety and the shock of Gray-sama's words had made me drop my guard. Taking that drink had been beyond stupid. Gajeel was going to be pissed. Of course, drugged or not, if Vidaldus had been a typical pervert I probably could have kicked his ass. But he wasn't. I'd never fought him before but rumour had it he was about on my level. In the top team of his gang much like I'd been one of the Element Four. Dealing with him was going to be a pain in the ass. Still, I didn't want to talk about this, "Juvia's really glad Gray-sama came back."

"You and me both. That guy is bad news. You ever see him again you tell me right away. I'll deal with him."

I bit my lip and resisted rolling my eyes. As if I needed a man to fight my battles for me. Not only was Gray-sama's offer unnecessary but it would only cause more problems for Gajeel and I. If Gray-sama got involved it would only be a matter of time before Natsu was and then Erza with her sixth sense for sensing trouble would find out and by that point the whole thing would spiral out of control and my sordid past would come spilling out. I reiterated to myself that this situation needed to be contained and controlled as soon as possible. "Juvia doesn't think he'll come by again. Gray-sama should forget about it." Vidaldus wouldn't be able walk much less do anything else by the time Gajeel and I were done with him so this whole night would be nothing more than a tiny blip in my new, peaceful life.

If only Gray-sama would let it go.

* * *

There was something about the way Juvia talked that suggested a hidden agenda. Something was going on. She'd been dodging most, if not all, of my questions so far and seemed far too eager to brush the whole incident under the carpet. Her parents were her business. If she was embarrassed about Oak Town then fine. But no one, and I mean no one, could put his hands on a girl I knew and expect me to forget about it. If I could find him, I would finish the job and make sure he got the message loud and clear that drugging girls in clubs was socially unacceptable. Of course that was putting it politely. Juvia was acting like she knew something and was holding it back so I pushed her a little bit. "Was that guy Bora?"

It was like I'd asked if she was willing to sell her soul to me for twenty jewels.

Juvia's face drained of colour and her eyes widened. "Where," she breathed in a shocked whisper, "did Gray-sama hear that name?"

"You said it in your sleep." I knew immediately this was the wrong thing to say.

Juvia's shocked expression disappeared. Her entire face shut down. She surveyed me with cold eyes and a guarded expression I'd never seen on her before. If I hadn't faced down an angry Erza more times than I was willing to count I would have thought it intimidating. Juvia's tone was careful when she asked, "What else did Juvia say?"

I'd clearly stepped into an emotional minefield. Juvia still hadn't answered but I hesitated to keep up this line of questioning. Not only was I clearly wrong but I'd already asked her once if she wanted to talk about her nightmare and she'd deflected that question with a question too. This was obviously yet another no go topic. Personally, I had plenty of those and apparently so did she. My parents, my foster mother, why I'd never had or would ever have a serious girlfriend and so many other things all tied up with the deaths that framed my childhood were things I simply did not talk about. I realised with a start that maybe my lack of knowledge about Juvia's past was intentional on her part. Everyone had secrets and against her will I'd stumbled across at least a few of hers. Her parents, where she was raised, Oak Town, Bora. In fact there was precious little I knew about Juvia before she turned up in Magnolia and she wasn't keen to fill in the details. Getting to know her might prove more difficult and more interesting than I'd initially thought. I kept my tone as careful as hers when I replied, "You didn't say much. You were kind of mumbling. I just got that one name really."

* * *

Tonight, I was lurching from one disaster to the next. Gray-sama was asking damn near every question I couldn't, shouldn't or wouldn't want to answer. I sucked down my rising panic and tried to calm down. There was no way Gray-sama could know anything about Bora other than the fact that he gave me nightmares. Thank God I'd only dreamed of Nieve and Bora tonight. What if I'd been mumbling about Phantom Lord? The dream flooded back to me. I could have said a lot of incriminating stuff. Things that would hint all too clearly to Gray-sama about what had happened between Bora and me three years ago. "Juvia doesn't know anyone by that name and Juvia didn't know that guy tonight. Juvia was just talking nonsense." The lies came easily but tasted bitter on my tongue. I didn't want to lie to Gray-sama or any of my friends but it had to be done. This was all getting too close for comfort.

"If you don't want to talk about it just say so. "

I flushed, embarrassed to be caught in the lie. Gray-sama didn't call me out on it but he made it obvious he didn't buy it."There's nothing to talk about. Ano ne, Juvia is really tired so..."

* * *

Well damn. My sweet innocent Juvia was without a doubt a keeper of secrets. Secrets she would lie to keep, even from me. Instead of being annoyed, I was even more curious. I'd always thought that a little mystery was sexy in a woman yet at the same time, if Juvia and I truly became friends I'd want to help her. The fact that the guy tonight and Bora weren't the same person was not a relief. If anything it was more of a worry. Had this sort of thing happened to Juvia before? Coming from Oak Town it might have. I hated that thought. My list of guys to beat up was growing longer. Over the next month I'd try and crack a few of Juvia's secrets. Not to pry, but to keep her safe I needed to know more about her. With one exception my ghosts of the past were all dead. If Juvia's were alive and kicking I wanted to know about it before they reappeared in her life.

This girl had more depth than any airhead stalker had the right to have. Then again I'd established that she wasn't an airhead stalker at all. What exactly was hidden behind that good girl aura? Perhaps my first impression of her as a good girl with a dark side hadn't been completely wrong. I'd have to find out a little more about Oak Town and Juvia's life before she moved to Magnolia. Maybe it was about time Gajeel and I had a little chat. For now, I'd let Juvia keep her secrets. "Alright, go to sleep. We can talk in the morning."

Reluctantly, but knowing it was for the best, I disentangled myself from Juvia's warm softness and shifted a safe distance away from her. I didn't want any awkward surprises in the morning. Juvia flicked out the light, "Goodnight Gray-sama."

"Night Juvia." I fell asleep still thinking about all of Juvia's mysterious quirks and when they would all be revealed.

* * *

The morning was full of revelations for me.

First of all, my memory was still hazy but a lot clearer than it had been. I knew I might never remember everything that had happened last night yet some of the gaps had been filled in. Which meant I was utterly mortified by my behaviour last night and utterly baffled by Gray-sama's.

I'd been so stupid. Incredibly short-sighted, caught up in the emotional maelstrom caused by Gray-sama's words. In the cold light of day the situation with Vidaldus was much worse than I thought. At best, I'd dislocated his shoulder, at worst, I'd broken his arm. Either way, he'd be out for blood. I could only hope he'd keep it as a personal grudge and not use Phantom Lord to get his pound of flesh from me. Forget damage control. I'd have to crush him. There was no other choice.

After that epic mistake the night had only gone downhill. I could hardly bear to think about it. I'd been a hot mess. I couldn't believe all the ridiculous things I'd said to Gray-sama. I had a sinking feeling I'd given away more than I wanted to about myself. But it couldn't be helped. I'd been drugged so there was no choice except to play it down and hope Gray-sama would dismiss my odd behaviour.

Ah Gray-sama… He'd called me beautiful. I think. I wasn't terribly sure. It was fantastic enough that he'd offered to spend a whole month with me. Surely for him to also admit that he thought I was beautiful was too much. Even with doubts about what was real and what was part of an elaborate drug induced dream, I got all tingly thinking about it possibly being true. He might have said that I drove him crazy! Oh god, if Gray-sama really was attracted to me I would die of happiness. My face burned. The combination of events over the last week hadn't been a fluke or a series of one off moments, those times when I caught him staring at me weren't meaningless. Gray-sama liked me. Okay, maybe he still didn't _like _me but he was definitely interested in me. He'd said so himself! I was getting way over-excited especially since Gray-sama had also said he wanted to get to know me. I tried reeling in my expectations but my imagination was already running full throttle dreaming up a beautiful fairy tale future for us. I wanted to jump up and down and squeal with joy but I couldn't because of my second revelation about Gray-sama.

He liked to cuddle in his sleep.

I mean _really _cuddle_..._


	14. Sparks

_A/N: Thanks to muffin-dragon for breathing life into every chapter._

_The quote Juvia can't remember is from __Marianne Williamson._

_I do not own Fairy Tail_

_Chapter Thirteen - Sparks_

I didn't want to wake up. I was far too comfortable. Still, I was kind of awake. Conscious enough of the warmth that filled my arms. Not that unbearable heat from my nightmares but the slightly familiar sensation that came from sharing someone's body heat. Usually I didn't even like that. I absolutely hated waking up with some random girl draped all over me but this particular girl was soft and comfortable. Unusual but not weird enough that I could be bothered to get up. So I stayed put, halfway between wakefulness and dreaming.

* * *

Gray and I had somehow become all wrapped up in each other, just like we'd been last night before we fell asleep. Scandalous as it was, our current positions were not the real surprise. It wasn't really Gray-sama's lips on my neck or his leg wedged between mine or even the possessive hand grasping my breast that made me wonder. It was how tightly he clung to me, like I was his life-sized teddy bear. It was unbearably cute but we weren't five so it could never be entirely innocent. Of course the fact that Gray-sama was stark naked pretty much obliterated any chance at innocence.

It didn't take a genius to guess that Gray slept naked. He could hardly keep his clothes on while conscious. _Knowing _Gray-sama slept that way was quite different from _actually _waking up with him naked in my bed. He'd kicked the covers off us last night so there was nothing to stop me from admiring the defined bicep in the arm that was thrown over me. Unfortunately, the same arm that held me tight also blocked my view. I craned my neck a little bit trying to get a glimpse of the rest of him and Gray-sama shuffled restlessly, pulling me closer and squeezing my breast. Okay, great, he was feeling me up in his sleep. I suppose it was a step in the right direction but I suspected it was also the kind of situation that'd have Gray-sama forsaking his promise and running a mile from me. So lovely as it was, I needed him to wake up to a and not be fondling my breast. At least not today.

Gently, slowly, I guided his arm down so it was slung around my waist. I had to freeze a few times when it seemed like Gray would wake up but this was definitely progress. I could see his legs now, dusted as they were with dark hair. There was something crazy sexy about the way his leg between mine forced my dress to bunch around my hips, even if the layers of fabric hid what I really wouldn't mind stealing a glance at. Gray-sama shifted slightly, not entirely happy with our new position and his thigh rubbed against me. That subtle friction in the right place had me biting my lip.

Yup, innocent snuggling was a landmark we'd passed a long time ago.

"Gray-sama," I whispered. No response. Gray-sama was still taking deep, regular breaths, his body completely relaxed. His eyelashes fluttered but as far as I could tell he was still fast asleep. I had the slightly bitter thought that he was probably used to waking up with a woman in his arms and dismissed it almost instantly. Before today none of those girls had been me.

I ached for him but this was epic bad timing. I tried lifting Gray-sama's arm off me but he grumbled unhappily, clamped his hand down on my hip and hauled me even closer to him. Oh damn there went his thigh rubbing against me again. Mavis help me, he was seducing me in his sleep.

Gray-sama's hand trailed under the bunched fabric of my dress, swept down my thigh and then back up. He mumbled something incoherent then two of his fingers curled under the edge of my panties. My resolve to stop him wavered, nearly broke. So I forced myself to think of last night and all the things I remembered about him. About us. We needed this new start. Badly.

I took his hand again, once more moving it back to my hip, but Gray-sama still wasn't happy about it. He grabbed my ass and I couldn't help yelping in surprise. There was a long heartbeat when nothing happened then a cute little frown appeared on Gray-sama's face. His breathing changed and my heart thumped twice as fast watching his face for any more signs. Sure enough, Gray-sama's eyes fluttered again. This time I caught a glimpse of blue and knew for certain that he was waking up.

I somehow doubted Gray-sama had intended to 'get to know me' this intimately. I had seconds to disentangle us before he woke up, freaked out and ditched me like usual. So I forgot all about sneakily removing his wandering hands, planted a hand of my own in the centre of his chest, gave a good shove and hoped to God Gray-sama would forgive me.

* * *

The soft warmness was torn from me and in my dream I was falling. Correction. This was no dream and I _was _falling. Right off the edge of the bed. I flung my arms out, reaching for something, anything. Unfortunately what I found was Juvia's arm and then we were both falling. All I could see were her wide blue eyes as we toppled over, seemingly in slow motion. I probably could have saved myself but if I moved she'd face plant the floor and I think she'd done enough of that yesterday so I pulled her tight to my chest and let gravity do its thing.

* * *

This was not quite what I'd had planned.

We landed with an almighty thump that had me grateful my room was on the ground floor. Otherwise half the dorm would have heard us. As it was, our fall was followed by a string of curses from Gray-sama that would have made a sailor blush. I wasn't hurt, thanks to Gray cushioning my fall, but he'd landed flat on his back and managed to smack his head against the floor all at the same time.

Gray-sama released me to grip his head moaning, "Fuck, fuck, that fucking hurts!"

"Gray-sama! Gomenasai," my conscience was giving me dirty looks. Why was I such a dunce around him? It wasn't like I didn't know my own strength. Somehow, I'd still managed to overdo it and hurt him. I pulled his hands away and replaced them with mine. There was already a bump forming on the back of his head. "Juvia is so sorry."

* * *

I lay still and let Juvia massage my scalp. It hurt like a bitch. I was pretty sure I'd have a collection of bruises along my back later as well. "Are you trying to give us both amnesia?"

"No. Juvia was just… Gray-sama was… Ano ne…"

I heard the panic in her voice and circled her wrists with my hands, "Did I scare you?" It was probably the first time in Juvia's life that she was waking up with a guy in her bed. Painful as my wake up had been, I couldn't really blame her for freaking out. She was just too damn innocent. I hadn't thought of that when I'd been feeling her up last night. Or was it really only last night? I had a feeling I hadn't been lying casually next to Juvia all this time. In fact, if memory served me right...

Damn. The warm comfort from my dreams was her body. My palms tingled remembering the softness of her breast and the smoothness of her skin. What the hell? When had I started cuddling the girls I slept with? Never. Jeez, why was it always this girl that bizarre things happened around? Heat flooded my face. Was I blushing? Oh my god. What the hell was going on?

Think of something else, anything else. Was Juvia okay with all this? I felt a fresh wave of guilt. Way to go, Gray. Just traumatise the virgin after some other dick already tried taking advantage of her not even twelve hours ago. Juvia was shaking her head but I'd been making all sorts of promises to her last night and this was hardly the ideal start. I loosened my grip and Juvia went back to running her fingers through my hair. "How do you feel?"

"Juvia is okay. Gray-sama, Juvia is so sorry. Does it hurt?"

"Mmm. I'll live." I gave her a quick once over. The bandaids I'd patched her up with were still in place and the colour was back in her cheeks which was good. I felt a stirring of anger looking at the bruises left on Juvia's neck. They were only faint, would properly fade in a few days but damn it she shouldn't have them at all. "Are you sure you're okay?"

She tilted her head to the side in that cute little way she had and said, "Yes. Juvia is with her favourite person. Of course Juvia is okay."

Favourite person. I couldn't quite suppress a shudder. I knew Juvia wasn't as crazy as I'd first thought but old habits die hard. This girl was going to be clinging all over me for the next month. Worst of all I'd not only given her permission to do it but had agreed to actively participate in our little 'love fest'. Zeref help me.

* * *

A fresh frown was creeping across Gray-sama's face. Part of me was abuzz with excitement, yet part of me was also hesitant. I didn't know how this whole thing with Gray-sama would work. He already was looking less than happy. "So, Gray-sama what should we do today?"

"Today? We're not doing anything today. Can you get off me please?"

It was my turn to frown."Gray-sama promised!"

"I know. I'll keep it too. I just think you need to rest today and," his gaze dropped down to my neck, "I've got some things to take care of today."

Uh oh. We were back to that. Again. I absolutely could not have him asking around about Vidaldus. Gray 'caring' about me seemed like a catch twenty two. I was reaching out for him with one hand and building a wall between us with the other. "Gray-sama, please don't do anything rash. It's not a big deal."

"When do I ever do anything rash?"

"Anytime Gray-sama and Natsu-san are together."

* * *

I opened my mouth to deny it and found that the words wouldn't come. Natsu and I did have an uncanny knack for finding trouble. In fact, I was planning on talking to him first. He'd help me find that guy and kick his ass, no questions asked. I sat up and Juvia moved with me. It struck me then how intimate our positioning was. Those now infamous legs of hers were straddling mine, her dress all bunched around her hips. Sitting like this the difference in height between us was immaterial. We were eye to eye, her fingers still in my hair. Almost unconsciously my hands settled on her waist. I let the girl be on top sometimes, if I was in the mood.

I shouldn't have had that thought. It triggered off a chain of other thoughts. Memories of other moments with other girls. Good memories which so easily sparked my imagination. Vivid images of Juvia and I getting to know each other in the most physical of ways crowded in my mind.

Yeah, this girl needed to get off my lap right now.

"Don't worry about anything. I'll take care of it. Now, get off me."

* * *

As usual, Gray-sama was eager to get rid of me. Apparently not that much had changed except he now thought he had the right to interfere in the one part of my life I didn't want him to have anything to do with. "No. Gray-sama, Juvia can take care of herself."

"Don't be ridiculous. Just get off me."

I was a little fed up with this. I didn't need a knight in shining armour to rescue me. Gray-sama would only make things worse."Juvia said no!"

* * *

I was surprised. This was not a side of Juvia I'd seen before. She was stubborn to a fault but only about me. Then again we'd never talked much, much less disagreed about anything other than her trailing after me. In the last two weeks, and definitely the last twelve hours or so, I'd learned there was a whole lot more to Juvia than what showed on the surface. "What do you mean no?" I demanded, still trying to squirm out from underneath her.

"Ano ne, Juvia thinks it's unnecessary," Juvia peeked up at me through her lashes, all traces of her momentary defiance gone. Oh god, she was so damn cute. That wasn't new about her. Changing hairstyles aside, she'd arrived in Magnolia looking this good. Still it was new for me to keep seeing her this way. The events from Risley's party until now seemed like a single spark had started a forest fire. I couldn't help seeing Juvia as a woman anymore. I was in even less control of policing my reaction to her. Emergency evacuation procedures were in order before my body betrayed me and something totally embarrassing happened.

* * *

For a second there old Juvia had showed her face. All this time I'd spent remaking myself, one rough night and old me wanted to slip out into my current life. The events from last night were already causing unnecessary problems. I clamped down on my frustration and let Gray-sama dump me off his lap. Which turned out to be a great decision.

I was getting a more than adequate eyeful of Gray-sama's full anatomy. He really was gorgeous. I watched him stretch towards the ceiling, rolling his shoulders, working out the kinks in his back. All those muscles shifting under his skin. He didn't seem to notice or maybe he just didn't care about being completely naked in front of me. I stared at him, a steady blush creeping over my face, wondering if he needed a reminder about his state of undress.

* * *

Well that had been close. I didn't want to be the guy that introduced _that _to Juvia. Considering I'd taken a tumble out of her bed, I felt remarkably well rested. I linked my fingers behind my head and winced. That bump still hurt like hell though. I thought for a second of how to get Juvia to relax and let me take care of this. Words at the ready, I glanced down at her. The words died on my tongue.

She was on her knees in front of me. I think its a pretty universal fact that there's not much wrong a girl can do from that position. As it was, Juvia looked like the kind of girl I'd love to have in that position. And a fair few other positions too.

Her hair was a wavy mess. I knew she'd just woken up but this was probably how it'd look after we fucked too. There went the first shiver down my spine. Her eyes were wide and blue and all together innocent. Combined with the blush on her face, I'd give her a ten out of ten for cuteness. I must admit, I liked when she blushed around me. Cana was wrong about me having a schoolboy crush on Juvia but there was a tiny sliver of truth that Juvia's unwavering adoration stroked my ego. Just a tiny bit. Her bra straps had slipped down her shoulders. Jet black lines against her porcelain skin. Her dress was all twisted, most of it still bunched around her hips. She looked like we'd been interrupted in the middle of an intense make out session. I liked that. A little too much. My mind was off wandering again. Thinking about kissing Juvia, touching Juvia, fucking Juvia...

The blush on Juvia's face deepened like she could read my thoughts. "What?" I asked, feeling a little annoyed that my voice sounded so rough.

Juvia swallowed slowly, blinked at me twice and replied, "Gray-sama… Your clothes…"

* * *

Gray-sama's reaction to being naked in front of me had been pretty hilarious. I swear he'd jumped three feet straight into the air before diving across my bed and demanding I give him back his clothes. As if I had stolen them off him during the night. I didn't see what the big deal was. He was usually only semi-dressed at the best of times. Apparently it was a problem this time. So here I was, standing in the hallway in my rumpled dress, having been kicked out of my bedroom "for my own good". His words, not mine. Seemed a funny time for Gray-sama to discover a sense of modesty but whatever. It distracted him and gave me a little time to think about how to wrangle him into dropping this ridiculous idea of his.

I wasn't coming up with much. Asking nicely hadn't dissuaded him. Insisting too strongly only made him suspicious. I figured my best bet was taking care of Vidaldus before Gray-sama could even find out who he was. Shouldn't be too difficult. Magnolia was not a hot spot of gang activity and the seedy underground world Gajeel and I were once a part of wasn't the kind of lifestyle that was easy to stumble into. Of course I had, quite literally, stumbled into it.

_Three Years Earlier_

_I stood outside the bakery. Warm croissants, three different types of muffins, chocolate éclairs stuffed with cream, that wonderful scent of freshly baked bread. My mouth watered. An unladylike growl came from my stomach. My mother would have been scandalised. My mother. Her expressionless face when I'd come home from boarding school for the one short visit my parents allowed me per year still lingered in my mind. I don't know why I bothered thinking of it as 'home' anymore. My parents always treated me like an unwanted house guest. I was especially unwanted this time because I'd shown up without Bora. After what he'd said, what he'd done… I only wanted to run into Nieve's arms and cry. But Nieve hadn't been home like I hoped. She never was. I don't know why she never wrote me, never tried to see me. That didn't stop me hoping. Until she flat out told me she didn't want to have anything to do with me I had no choice but to keep stubbornly believing that our parents were keeping us apart. For nearly four years that's all that had kept me going. _

_In any case, it had been just Mother and I in the sitting room, sipping on tea and pretending to be civil. Father wouldn't turn up until later to lay bare all my faults over the dining table. I don't know why I expected her to understand, to take my side, to not be her usual judgemental self. Her cool demeanour hadn't put me off. Everything that'd been building up over the last two months came bursting out. Huge mistake. Her reaction…_

_No, I was not going to think about that._

_I focused back on the baked goods. I was so hungry. Perhaps jumping on the first train and riding all the way to the end of the line had not been a good idea. I'd achieved my goal of getting far away from both my 'family home', and my school and the odious Bora. I'd also managed to blow most of my money on that one ticket. I hadn't really been thinking about the logistics of running away. With an empty belly, a suitcase full of nothing but impractical dresses and a crick in my neck from sleeping curled up in doorways the logistics mattered a whole lot more. My parents probably paid a fortune for my boarding school but nothing they taught had prepared me for this. _

_I was scared at night. Hungrier and lonelier every day. I didn't know anyone here. I couldn't go home. My heart ached, torn open first by Bora who I suspected never loved me and secondly by my parents who should have loved me but didn't. I reached out and rested my fingertips against the glass windowpane. It was my birthday. A girl should have cake on her sixteenth birthday right? Presents, a party, a little kindness. Was it too much to ask? At least it wasn't raining. I glanced up at the grey sky. Well, at least it wasn't raining yet._

_"Girl, if you're not going to buy something you need to move along. You're blocking the window for real customers." The baker took in my grubby dress and dismissed me instantly. It was a recurring event. I wasn't looking exactly presentable at the moment. I bit back a laugh at what my mother would think of me not washing my hair for three days. _

_I moved away from the window and kept walking. I needed to figure out what I was doing. If I couldn't go home then I had to move forward in this new town. Lost in thought, I didn't notice when the streets stopped being clean and full of shoppers, becoming cramped and virtually deserted instead. It was the noise that alerted me that all was not well. A subtle snick. I'd heard it before. One of Bora's less savoury friends had a perchance for flicking his switchblade open and shut, over and over again. For him it'd been a nervous habit, for me it'd been yet another annoying trait to put up with. Still the sound carried with it a vague sense of danger. I stopped walking._

_I was in a dark, narrow street. In fact, it was little better than an alleyway. Tall, brick buildings with boarded up windows flanked me on both sides. Of course it wasn't what was to the side that most concerned me. There was a boy. My heart leapt into my throat. Bora. He'd come to drag me home. I couldn't go back. Not with him, never with him. The air I should have been breathing rattled uselessly through my lungs. I was going to blackout. _

_No. Bora had said he didn't want me anymore. He would never come after me. I breathed and took a second look. The boy wasn't Bora. He still looked scary. Dressed head to toe in black, he stood casually in front of me. With a knife. In the faded sunlight I thought his eyes glinted red. A demon. A fresh wave of fear gripped me, turned my body to ice. I'd obviously stumbled into the wrong part of town. What did he want? What did all guys want? Oh god, not that again. My palms felt sweaty, my mouth dry. I couldn't think of what to say, what to do so I stood there like an idiot. _

_In a flat bored tone the boy said, "Your money."_

_What?_

_"Look girl, I ain't got all day. Give me your money."_

_If I wasn't so terrified, I would have laughed. This guy had picked the totally wrong girl to mug. I didn't have more than one hundred jewels to my name and I was making what little I had last by eating only once a day. Self recrimination killed my temporary sense of relief. All this boy wanted was money but what if he had been after something more? Stupid, stupid, stupid girl. Standing there frozen like I didn't know that complacency was the fastest way to get taken advantage of. My anger simmered on, steadied my nerves and forced me to think clearly. Anger was good. It was a strong enough emotion to obliterate pain. _

_My main concern, food, flashed through my mind but it wasn't worth my life to deny him. As long as he had that knife, he had the upper hand so I eased my purse out of my handbag and tossed it at him. He caught it easily in one hand, gave me an appraising look, decided I wasn't going to try anything, flicked the switchblade closed and slid it into his back pocket. I watched his lip curl in disgust as he flipped through the few notes in my purse. "That's it? What else you got? I know a girl like you gotta have more than this."_

_"That's all Juvia has."_

_He scowled at me. "Cut the crap. You might have fallen down the rabbit hole Alice but this ain't Wonderland. This is our territory, our rules and if you value that pretty little face of yours I suggest popping open that fancy suitcase and giving me everything you got."_

_I shrugged. The boy was a lot less scary when he wasn't holding that knife. I could see now that he couldn't be much older than me, maybe even younger. I focused on slowing my heart down. Cold and calm. I could handle this. "Juvia is Juvia, not Alice. Have a look, if you want." I laid my suitcase down, knelt on the dirty pavement stones and popped it open._

_"What the hell?" He rifled through my dresses and high heels. Mother always insisted I dressed formally, even when just around the house. There wasn't a single pair of jeans or sneakers to be found and, perhaps most importantly for the boy, there wasn't any money stashed away in there either. "Damn. We thought for sure you'd be an easy mark. The boss is not going to be happy."_

_"Gomenasai."_

_He gave me a funny look, "Why are you apologising?"_

_"Juvia is always the problem."_

_"Whatever. I wouldn't usually but I'm going to give you some advice. Get the hell out of this part of town. In that dress, with that bag and this suitcase, you look like a lost rich girl."_

_A lost rich girl. Lost girl maybe, definitely not rich. My stomach tightened and I eyed my purse laying on the ground between us. My fear was quickly ebbing away. I couldn't let this boy take it. I was sixteen now so there was a good chance I could find a part time job but even if I found one soon there'd be a good month until I received my first pay check and in the mean time I'd go hungry. After everything I'd been through I deserved to at least runaway in peace. I deserved to at least eat. I felt the edge of darkness I'd been teetering on creep closer. Was today the day I'd give in and fall over it? I didn't know but the boy noticed me staring and the time for thinking was over. _

_We moved at the same time but I wasn't going for the purse. I reached behind him, my fingers finding cold steel and in a flash I had his switchblade. I rolled away from him and flicked it open. The look of complete shock on his face was fleeting but it pleased me nonetheless. I felt powerful, in control. It felt good. "Give Juvia back her stuff. Now. Please."_

_He didn't. His face was an apathetic mask with those devilish eyes blazing. I swallowed hard. The power rush was already fading. The wall of anger I'd wrapped myself in stuttered, then failed. I was just a no good girl. Perhaps I'd done the wrong thing. Too late to back down. I gripped the knife tighter with both hands, "Juvia's things. Umm, back up slowly."_

_He didn't. He advanced on me and I had no choice but to retreat until my back hit the brick wall. It wasn't any better than that couch with the stupid spring. I extended my arms, the knife wavering in my grasp, "Stop! Or Juvia will… Juvia will…"_

_"You'll what?" He kept coming until the tip of the knife was against his chest. He leaned in closer to me and I bent my elbows. I didn't really want to hurt him. I couldn't. He was just a random stranger. Really, I should have used this knife on Bora. A whole lot lower than the centre of his chest... The boy made his move then. I don't even know what happened, it was so fast. One moment I had the knife and the next my arms were trapped behind my back and the blade was at my throat. I hardly dared to breathe. "That's never happened to me before," he said in a low whisper. _

_I licked my lips and mumbled, "Juvia's never been mugged before either." I hated him holding me this way. Trapped, at his mercy. I told myself not to cry. Crying never got me anywhere. _

_He laughed. Or I think he was laughing. The tension on my arms eased and he spun me around to face him. The flat of the blade touched my nose. "You've got guts. I like that. But you're like a baby out here. Lesson one, never carry a weapon you're afraid to use. The person you're fighting might not hesitate to use it against you." He gave me a good once over. "Let me guess. You runaway?"_

_I started to nod and thought better of it when the knife nicked my forehead, "Yes."_

_The blade snapped shut. The boy crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall, "So what's your deal? "_

_"Juvia's what?" I think we'd established I owned nothing of value. He didn't seem to want my body, thank Mavis. As far as bargaining chips went, I had none. _

_"The deal with you. The skinny. The dirt. The story. What's a pampered little princess like you doing running away from home?"_

_"It's a long story."_

_"You got somewhere to be?"_

_I had nowhere to be. So I told him. Hesitantly, obviously skimming over a few things. But the boy had a flawless lie detector and called me out on anything blatantly false or too vague for his liking. I admitted things to this boy I wouldn't have told my own mother. Maybe it was because he was a stranger and I didn't give a damn what he thought of me. Or maybe it was because the last person to listen to me like this was Nieve and I was long overdue a heart to heart with someone, anyone. Or maybe the words simply had to come out before they poisoned me from the inside out. _

_There was a long moment of silence when I finished. Personally, I was pleased to have not burst into tears. I felt empty now, as if I'd let all my demons out. Nothing remained. I waited for the backlash, for him to repeat the cruel words of my mother. _

_Stop it. Not thinking about that. Not now. _

_Without a word the boy went to my suitcase. He chucked my discarded handbag along with my purse inside and forced the clasps closed. He hefted the heavy case on his shoulder like it weighed nothing and started walking away. I stood dumbfounded for a moment before scrambling after him. "Ano ne…"_

_"Do you hate it?"_

_"What?"_

_"Being weak."_

_Weak. Was that what I was? A pushover. Letting those kids bully me, Bora mistreatment me, my parents abandon me._

_"No," he shook his head, "That's wrong. You're not weak. You took me on but not all these other people. That makes no sense."_

_He was right. It didn't. "Maybe Juvia has had enough." The moment I said it I knew it was true. Enough. After all these years of taking what life gave me, I'd finally had enough. I hadn't runaway because I was afraid. I'd done it because I was sick of living that life._

_"I know some people."_

_I recognised the subtle offer. "What's your name?"_

_He gave me a sidelong glance, "Kurogane."_

_Black Steel. It had to be an alias. I studied the tattoo on his shoulder. I wasn't a complete idiot. I'd been in Oak Town long enough to pick up the subtle tension surrounding certain areas. It was easy to put two and two together. "Will these people help Juvia?"_

_He scoffed, "They're just as likely to stab you in the back. There is no weakness. Only strength. The type of girl who lets others walk over her won't make it. So tell me," he held out the switchblade to me, "Are you strong enough?"_

_A single raindrop hit my shoulder. I glanced up and two more hit my face. Rain. Always rain. My life always out of my control. I'd felt good when I'd left the house, thrown my bag in the back of the taxi and not bothered looking back. I'd felt good arriving in a new town where nobody knew me. I'd felt good holding that knife. _

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

_I forgot who'd said that but as the sky opened up to dump sheets of rain over the two of us, I made a choice. I wasn't going to be afraid anymore. I threw my arms wide and welcomed the rain. Let it pour down. Wash everything away. Lay bare what hid under all those excuses, all the ingrained politeness, all my failures at being a perfect daughter. What I found there was icy cold but it was mine and mine alone. _

_Kurogane said nothing while I made up my mind. I pushed the switchblade away. "Juvia shouldn't carry a weapon Juvia doesn't know how to use."_

_A slight grin and he turned away from me, "You learn fast. Good."_

_I fell into step beside him, "Where are we going?"_

_"To turn that spark inside you into a flame."_

* * *

I think the last time I'd blushed this much was when I was fourteen and Erza, being Erza, didn't understand that she was getting noticeably prettier and couldn't keep acting like one of the guys. Honestly, her sense of self as a woman was a little off sometimes. But that was back when I was still awkward around girls. I wasn't anymore or at least I hadn't been but Juvia seemed to be the exception to damn near everything. She had my face blazing.

Because she had seen everything. _Everything. _I was hardly self conscious or modest but I could have done without exposing myself to her. I think she could have done without it too. She was staring at nothing, completely spaced out in the hallway. I checked my clothes were all in place and nudged her. Juvia came out of her daze, looking lost. Great. I really had traumatised her this time for sure.

"Look, Juvia-"

"Gray-sama, don't worry about it. Nothing Juvia hasn't seen before," she said and started down the hallway.

I had to pick my jaw up off the floor before following her. What the hell did she mean by that? Probably one of those queasy videos from Health Science class. Right? Shock gave way to indignation as I fully processed what she'd said. _Nothing she hadn't seen before._ Girl sure knew how to hit a guy where it hurts. The blow to my pride was lessened only by the knowledge that Juvia's flippancy had to be an act. She'd been staring hard enough and now wanted to pretend to be all experienced. What was she playing at?

I wanted to ask but quite frankly I felt like she'd had me on the back foot one too many times already this morning. I was way off my game today for some reason. Probably best to forget the whole thing and move on. We seemed to be doing that a lot recently. She'd been drugged, I'd hit my head. It was hardly the best weekend. I decided to let it go. Just let it go…

Nope. I couldn't.

* * *

We entered the foyer. That memory had shaken me up. I seemed to be recalling a lot of the past recently. I just wanted to see Gajeel, talk to him and figure out what the hell we were going to do. Gray-sama gripped my arm, forcing me to spin and face him. "What the hell do you mean? 'Nothing you haven't seen before'. Yeah, right."

Huh? My mind was focussed on something completely different, "Gajeel…"

Gray blanched, "_You _and _Gajeel!"_

"No! Oh my God! Never!" I finally realised what we were talking about. "He's like… We're like… Eww!"

* * *

She'd just about given me a heart attack. Of all the things she might have meant _that _combination had never crossed my mind. It freaked me out just thinking about it. And from the look on Juvia's face it freaked her out too. The two of us were never on the same page. Ugh, this fucking weekend could get no stranger. "Who- What- Girl, you are driving me crazy."

A smug looked crossed Juvia's face, "Juvia has that affect on Gray-sama."

Shit. She remembered. She knew. I couldn't deal with this. I decided to concede this round to Juvia and beat a hasty retreat. Nothing was going my way this weekend. Our new start could officially begin tomorrow when I was a little more in control of this situation. Any stupid things that happened this weekend were null and void.

As if I needed anything else to go wrong, the front door opened and in stalked Erza followed by Levy. Instinctively I pulled Juvia in front of me, a mediocre attempt at hiding. Erza would kick my ass for being inside the girls dorm. I braced myself for her fury but there was none. Erza looked right at us, no, right _through _us like we weren't even there and kept going towards the stairs. I knew straight away that something wrong. Erza was always so fiery, she burned brighter than anyone else I knew. She should have been yelling at me, hauling me out the door, beating me senseless. She did none of that. In fact, I'd never seen her look so defeated before.

"Hey," I said catching her hand as her foot hit the first step. I'd moved to her side without thinking. To hell with what might happen. I'd rather Erza hit me then look like this. "What happened?"

Erza gave me a half glance over her shoulder and the look in her eyes made me feel so cold I had to check that I was still wearing my shirt. Because it was empty, blank.

The spark that always lit her up was gone.


	15. Tug of War

_A/N: I do not own Fairy Tail._

_Chapter Fourteen - Tug of War_

This was bad. I pulled Erza around so that she was facing me. In doing so her foot slipped off the step and she fell into me. For a moment her forehead rested against my chest and I thought she was going to start crying. Erza crying would be a million times worse than any other girl crying around me. There were a few indisputable facts in my life. Natsu and I would always fight. I'd never want a 'proper' girlfriend. Erza was indestructible.

She just was. Always had been. I vaguely remembered Natsu and I catching her crying once back when we were kids but it wasn't an overriding memory of mine. Most of my memories of her were getting my ass kicked, being bossed around, watching her and Jellal be all weird together. That sort of thing. Erza did not cry.

It was a major relief when she didn't start now. Erza pulled away from me and tugged her hand free from mine, "I'm fine, Gray." She didn't bother looking at me, her voice sounded funny and, even without those cues, her simple statement was obviously false. Erza was notoriously bad at lying. She couldn't even act a role in Drama class. Knowing that only made the whole situation worse. Erza wasn't the type of girl to play games. Something had happened and she was definitely not fine.

* * *

Erza did not look like she'd spent the night in bed with her crush. If anything, she looked like she'd spent the whole night crying. I sent a questioning glance at Levy but she only returned a slight shrug and a gentle shake of her head. She didn't know what had went wrong and that much was clear. Something had gone terribly wrong with Erza's plan to make Jellal her official boyfriend.

Without any warning, Cana came barrelling down the stairs and threw her arms around Erza. "Erza! Good morning! I suppose it's a great morning for you right?" She finished squeezing the hell out of Erza and actually looked at her. The happy glow from Cana faded instantly. "Oh no," she said, "I'm going to kill him."

"Who? There's no one to kill," Erza said softly. I thought that was highly debatable but without knowing exactly what had happened I held back on joining Cana's rapidly forming lynching party.

"Erza…" Levy ventured to say something.

"Stop it. Why are you all looking at me like that? Nothing is wrong. I said, I'm fine."

The words weren't believable to start with but the chance of any of us dropping the subject disappeared when Erza wrapped her arms around herself. The movement spoke of self-doubt and a need to comfort herself. I recognised it because I used to hug myself like that all the time when I was at boarding school. Poor Erza. I couldn't imagine what could have gone wrong. Jellal and her seemed like such a done deal.

We all stood there, exchanging sidelong glances, while Erza picked imaginary fluff off the jacket she was wearing.

* * *

There was some kind of telepathic conversation going on between Levy and Cana. I didn't attempt to figure out what was going on. The girls could send subliminal messages all day long for all I cared. Erza never hesitated to jump straight to the heart of a matter and neither would I.

"What happened?"

"I told you, nothing."

"Really? So if I call Jellal right now and ask him what's going on he'll tell me it's nothing?"

Erza flinched when I mentioned Jellal's name. Ah, my first clue. "Are you two fighting? Still?"

"Not exactly. Look Gray, I really don't want to talk about it. I'm tired and I just want to go to bed."

Not exactly meant yes. "What stupid thing did he do now?" Jellal and Erza had been acting weird all week. It messed up the subtle balance in our group of friends for them to be so out of sync with each other.

"I just... He just... I am so stupid."

Oh shit. Now she really looked like she wanted to cry.

"Oh Erza," Cana said and I got the impression yet again that I was missing something.

* * *

I felt my heart go out to Erza. Cana literally reached for her but Erza brushed her off.

"Whatever. I'm fine. It wasn't a big deal." She slid down the zipper of the jacket and shrugged it off. "Can you give this back to Jellal please?" She balled the jacket up and tossed it at Gray. He started to reach for it but seemed to give up while the jacket was still in the air. The bundle of fabric smacked him in the chest and fell to the floor.

"Sweet Mavis above. What the hell are you wearing?" He choked out. I watched his gaze rake up and down Erza's body and felt a sliver of cold, hard jealousy.

* * *

Good God. Erza was wearing one of the sexist outfits I'd ever seen her in. Ever. A white crop top that in truth was just about see through and these ridiculously tiny denim shorts. I mean, damn. The girl's ass was totally on show. "Where are your clothes?" I asked as I scooped up the fallen jacket and attempted to drape it over her. Jellal probably had a heart attack when he saw Erza in this getup.

"I'm wearing them. Not that it mattered."

"Oh believe me, it matters!" I forced my gaze off Erza's thighs and glared at her, "No wonder you're in a mood. I bet Jellal flipped right the fuck out. Are you trying to make things between you and him worse?"

Erza had a blank look on her face. I don't know why. The girl had lost the plot somewhere because at the end of the day it didn't really matter how much they denied it. Erza was Jellal's girl and knowing him as I did, it was obvious he would have hated Erza showing off her body like this in front of a load of college guys. What they did in private, and actively denied in public, was their business but Erza going to a college party in an outfit that screamed 'Available' when she most definitely _wasn't_ was a sure fast way to irritate the hell out of Jellal. Heck, that'd irritate any guy with a pulse. "I know you're mad at him for some reason but this is a little over the top." I don't know what type of reaction Erza had been hoping for but it was no surprise to me that it had blown up in her face. I noticed my gaze drifting back downwards and checked myself. I hadn't thought of Erza that way in years and didn't want to start again now. Seeing Juvia that way was bad enough.

"Shut up Gray. You don't even know what happened," Cana hissed at me.

I sighed. Far be it from me to attempt to understand the female mindset but sometimes the women in my life seemed to have no clue whatsoever about men. "This," I said gesturing in Erza's direction without really looking at her, "Would never work on Jellal. Jeez Erza, what the hell were you thinking?"

"I... " Erza shrugged."You're right. This was a stupid idea. Jellal would never, he will never... I don't want to think about this!" And just like that she was gone and I was left holding Jellal's stupid varsity jacket wondering what the fuck was going on with her.

* * *

There was a moment of silence then Cana snapped. "You stupid boy! How can you say that? You have no idea what's been going on between those two. For the record, it's all Jellal's fault! He's just screwing Erza over for who knows what reason!" She threw her hands in the air. "He's an idiot and you're an idiot and I swear down I hate all of you! Now get out!"

"What did I say?" Gray asked but Cana had her hands on his chest propelling him backwards out the front door. He tripped slightly on the threshold and then Cana was slamming the door in his surprised face. She leaned against the closed door and took a deep breath. "Spill the beans Levy. What's going on?"

It was Levy's turn to shrug helplessly, "Your guess is as good as mine. Jellal freaked when he saw Erza in those shorts and dragged her back into Lucy's apartment. I don't think he could decide if he wanted to murder her or kiss her for wearing those shorts. They came down five minutes later and she was wearing his varsity jacket. It was kind of cute actually how protective he is of her. It was obvious the plan was working. They'd made up. More than made up actually. Jellal couldn't keep his hands off Erza all night and you know how flirty they can be. It was like before she gave him the letter. She was so happy. I mean really, super happy and they seemed so close. Well, like they always are."

"So?" Cana tapped her foot and crossed her arms, "Get to the point Levy."

"The point is they disappeared halfway through the night and I don't know what happened but this morning they can't even look each other in the eye. I don't think Jellal spoke a single word to any of us the whole drive back. And Erza..."

"Looks like her soul has been sucked out. Great. Just great." Cana pressed her hands to her temples like she was getting a headache. I chewed anxiously on my bottom lip, not sure what I could add to this conversation and still vaguely annoyed at how Gray-sama had been so obviously checking Erza out. Childhood friends? No guy looked at his _friend _like that.

"Why couldn't those two just hook up like normal people? I have to go to lunch with my Dad, not that he didn't already annoy me to death yesterday, and I promised to read the younger girls fortunes some time today too. Okay, I will try and get Erza to talk. Just leave it to me."

It was an unspoken reality that Erza ran the dorms like a well oiled machine. It was equally acknowledged that, failing Erza's intervention, Cana could usually get things done just as well. It was weird really because no one thought of Cana as being especially reliable but somehow it was always her who picked up the pieces when Erza wasn't around.

"Thanks Cana. I hate seeing Jellal and Erza like this. It's so weird." Levy stretched then yawned, "I'm going to bed." The two of them headed upstairs and I crept towards the door hoping to catch Gray-sama before he got too far away. My hand was closing around the door handle when Levy asked, "Hey Juvia, what was Gray doing here anyway?"

* * *

I stared at the shut door. This is what I got for trying to help. Well next time, I just wouldn't bother. I threw Jellal's jacket over my shoulder and sauntered down the front porch steps. It was later in the day then I'd thought. The sun was high in the sky and a quick check of my phone confirmed that it was much closer to lunchtime than breakfast. Oh well. I fired off a quick text to Enno to check she was okay then paused on the front lawn. I could head home for some food or return Jellal's jacket or go speak to Natsu. There were pros and cons to every choice. I glanced around, trying to prioritize my options. To my right Gajeel was cutting across the garden, heading for the tree line.

The boys and the girls dorms of Fairy Hills were separated by a thick strip of woodland. At least they had been initially. Generations of students had worn a narrow path through the woods and it was no secret that plenty of couples met under the shade of the trees. I'd had my fair share of interesting encounters there myself.

With the abrupt arrival of Erza, I'd almost forgotten that talking to Gajeel was also on my to do list. "Oi, Gajeel!" I yelled and jogged over to him.

* * *

"What?" I asked putting on my best innocent face.

Cana had turned to look at me too, "Yeah. Why is Gray here?"

I shrugged, "Juvia was really drunk last night so Gray-sama helped bring Juvia home."

They both looked marginally satisfied with that answer. I thanked the stars for a lucky escape and eased the door open a little further.

"But you never get drunk. I've never seen you drunk." Cana was right. It was a habit of mine to always be in control. It figured that the one time that I decided to throw caution to the wind my drink would get spiked and my carefully engineered new life would start spiralling out of control. "Why have you got all those band-aids? Did something happen?" Uh oh. Cana had that look on her face that suggested she was about to meddle and honestly, I was dealing with enough just with Gray-sama sticking his oar in where it didn't belong.

"First time for everything." I faked a laugh, "Juvia tripped. It's no big deal. Gray-sama took care of Juvia. Maybe Cana-san should check on Erza." Why did everyone want to be involved the one time I desperately didn't want them to be?

Cana looked torn and even Levy, who was obviously tired, probably hungover too, seemed inclined to want to stay up and "help" me. So I played a flawless get out of jail free card. "Juvia is going to talk to Gajeel-kun…"

"Ooh," they both chimed in unison. "Alright then, see you later," Cana added and started up the stairs again. She was obviously confident that Gajeel would "protect" me. Levy hesitated that moment or two longer, a tiny frown causing a crease in her forehead. I smiled reassuringly at her. I had no idea what Gajeel had told her about our past. We never brought the subject up and I hadn't noticed a difference in the way Levy treated me when she started dating Gajeel. I figured she knew something yet she never breathed a word of it to me so it was hard to tell.

"Tell him I'll call later," she finally said after a long heartbeat.

"Sure," I replied and slipped out the door, relieved that at least one person was above meddling in my life.

* * *

"So?"

I blinked at Gajeel. "Uh so, I thought you'd want to know." I'd just explained about Juvia having her drink spiked and this guy was not phased in the slightest.

"I'm sure she's fine," he said and actually yawned.

Okay, I hadn't explained _everything _but surely I'd said enough to get more of a reaction than this. "I don't think you understand. This guy drugged her."

"I hear you."

"Do you really? Because I don't think you get it."

"Oh I get it. Juvia is acting like an idiot around you as usual."

"Whoa. You can't blame her! That's messed up." I felt a flicker of anger at Gajeel's attitude. I thought he and Juvia were good friends but he didn't seem to give a damn about the trouble she'd been in last night.

"Fine. It's your fault."

I opened my mouth, then shut it. That was kind of true.

Gajeel sighed and dragged a hand over his eyes. "I can't stop Juvia following you around but I'll talk to her about taking better care of herself."

"I can take care of her." The words popped out before I could stop them. Gajeel blinked at me and I scrambled for something else to say that didn't sound so out of character. "I mean, if she's with me then I can watch out for her." Well, that sounded nearly as bad as that first stupid sentence. It was one thing to make a secret deal with Juvia, it was quite another for everyone else to be thinking I had a thing for her. For his part, Gajeel was starting to look amused at my outbursts.

"Sure Gray, knock yourself out but she's not a baby. Juvia can handle herself."

I snorted, "I admit she's stronger than she looks but you only taught her the basics. This guy in the club last night was a total creep."

Gajeel laughed that weird laugh of his, "The basics? Fullbuster, I assure you, when Juvia is not mooning over you she can handle any creep in a club."

"Don't you think you're a little too relaxed about this? She could have been hurt. She was hurt." That got his attention.

The lingering smirk slipped off Gajeel's face, "What are you not telling me? You said her drink was spiked and you carried her home. There something else I need to know about?"

"Uh…" I was saved from deciding what to tell him by the arrival of the woman in question.

* * *

"Hey Gajeel-kun." I watched his eyes run over me, suddenly self-conscious of my rumpled party dress, assorted band-aids and emerging bruises. Of course he'd seen me looking much worse. I saw the moment he came to that conclusion, dismissing the injuries for what they were. Mere scratches were hardly of note when you're used to dealing with knife wounds and broken bones.

"Juvia. Gray tells me your drink was spiked." His eyes lit up with silent accusation and I knew he was wondering how I'd let my guard drop.

"It was." I hesitated, torn between confronting Gray-sama and filling Gajeel in on the necessary details. Common sense prevailed and I shelved my need to tell Gray off for checking out Erza. "A lot happened last night."

That was all I had to say. After all this time Gajeel could read me so well, just like I could him.

* * *

Great. From a silent conversation between Levy and Cana to an equally silent discussion between Gajeel and Juvia. What gives? "He doesn't seem to get it. Why don't you tell Gajeel what happened?"

Juvia licked her lips, "Gajeel-kun, Juvia was out with Gray-sama last night. Well, kind of." Her eyes darted to mine but I didn't feel like contradicting her and she continued. "And this guy brought Juvia a drink."

"Which you were dumb enough to drink," Gajeel interrupted.

"Yes, Gajeel-kun, can we move past that please? Anyway, then he uh," Juvia's hand drifted to the faint bruise on her neck and no more words were needed.

"Do we know this guy?" Gajeel asked.

Yet again, Juvia's eyes darted in my direction. It was obvious she didn't want to answer in front of me.

"Right," Gajeel said, almost as if Juvia _had _answered, "Thanks for bringing her home Gray. We'll take things from here." He wrapped a hand around Juvia's upper arm and took a step towards the trees.

Suspicious. Just as I thought. There was more to this story than a case of Juvia simply attracting the wrong kind of attention. Juvia knew that guy from last night. If she hadn't surely she would have just denied it, not shot that sneaky look at me. And since she did know him then she damn well should have said so last night or at least once she'd sobered up. She knew I wanted to find that idiot. What kind of secret were these two hiding? They were so unreasonably evasive about this whole situation.

* * *

The tightness of Gajeel's grip on my arm let me know I was in big trouble. Then again I already knew we were in trouble. We made it two steps into the trees before I felt Gray-sama yanking me backwards.

"You knew that guy?" He demanded.

"Juvia-" I started to deny it but Gajeel spoke right over me.

"Drop it, Fullbuster. We got this."

"You have what? What's going on?"

"Nothing. Right Juvia," Gajeel gave my arm a shake.

I thought Gajeel was laying it on a bit thick and more than likely encouraging Gray-sama's suspicions. Still, now wasn't the time to be presenting a discordant front, "Right. Nothing."

"Oh come on. This is bullshit. You can tell me. So you did know that guy?" Gray's hand tensed on my arm pulling me closer to him. Sensing that, Gajeel tugged subtly back.

"She didn't."

"How would you know? You weren't there."

"If you'd let go, Juvia could tell me herself what happened."

"I was there too. She can't possibly want to tell you anything that I don't already know. Unless you two are hiding something."

"We're not hiding anything."

By this point, Gajeel and Gray were actively yanking me back and forth. I felt like a rope being used in a tug of war battle. "Ano ne…"

* * *

Gajeel was really pissing me off. "She had a nightmare about that guy last night. I just want to find him and make sure he knows to leave Juvia alone. If you know who he is then you should tell me."

"How do you know she had a nightmare? Wait, did you sleep with her last night?"

Oh shit. "No. Yes. Not like that!"

Gajeel looked like he wanted to murder me right here, right now. He hadn't seemed to care all year about how I treated Juvia. Apparently I'd found and crossed that, previously undiscovered, line past which he felt like he needed to get involved.

"What the hell? You don't even like her!"

"Gajeel-kun shut up!" Juvia was turning an alarming shade of red.

"No, I won't. I warned you about letting this punk play around with you. Wasn't Totomaru enough?"

* * *

I gasped. Was that the true reason why Gajeel-kun didn't like the idea of me and Gray-sama? Because of Totomaru? "He didn't play with Juvia! Gajeel-kun can we not discuss this now? Please." Or ever. The whole thing with Totomaru was beyond complicated. I still felt a little guilty about not telling him I was leaving Phantom Lord. Gajeel-kun and I had just left. In the middle of the night. With little more than the clothes on our backs. Makarov-sensei had thought it best we had a clean break.

"Who the hell is Totomaru?" Gray-sama demanded. "Is he the guy from last night?"

"No. He is, Juvia means, he was… It's complicated." I glared at Gajeel. How could he have mentioned Totomaru like that in front of Gray-sama? I felt my cheeks blazing and a spark of genuine anger laced through me. Here I was trying to keep Gray-sama away from our past and Gajeel was throwing out extra hints for free.

"I think the two of you are making this far more complicated than it has to be. This guy drugged Juvia and put his hands on her when she didn't want him to. We'll just find him then beat the crap out of him. Job done. So tell me who the hell he was!"

I watched Gajeel take a deep breath and actively reel in his temper. That was something he never would have done a year ago but was more proof of how Magnolia and Levy had changed him. His eyes lingered on mine, holding a silent question, and I dropped the glare. We could never stay angry with each other. After all, it was always the two of us against the world. Right now it needed to be Gajeel and I against Vidaldus and anyone else who threatened our new life.

I took a step towards Gajeel and reluctantly peeled Gray-sama's hand off my arm. "Gray-sama please, just let it go."

* * *

We were talking in circles. Gajeel and Juvia were deliberately cutting me out of the loop and I had no idea why. Who was that guy last night? What was with all the secrecy? A million questions buzzed around in my head, begging for answers. In truth, I was really annoyed at these two. A secret or two was fine but when crazy nonsense was going on it never hurt to have some help from a friend. My frayed temper made me lose control of my tongue, "Random creeps in clubs. Bora. Totomaru. Just how many mysterious, nightmare inducing guys you got in your life?"

We'd gone on a field trip once. A geography one, I think, in eighth grade. It was at the meteorological centre. I remember it actually being pretty cool, learning about how the weather was predicted and stuff like that. There was this one exhibit all about how no matter how ferocious the storm, the eye of it would always be relatively calm. I'd been fascinated with the idea of something so destructive having nothing but serenity at its core.

There was a stillness about Gajeel and Juvia after I blurted out that stupid statement that reminded me of that trip. Something so incredibly silent that belied the rage so close by. I wondered if I looked away from them for even an instant if the storm outside our little bubble would rip me to shreds. Regret came up to bite me, reminding me that Juvia had reacted negatively to all my questions last night just like I would if anyone dared question me about certain subjects. I knew it was none of my business and I should have known better but I couldn't shake this bad feeling. It was like I had to know these things about Juvia or something terrible would happen. Still, I recognised that I wasn't acting like myself.

"Don't talk about things that you know nothing about. We're done here," Gajeel's words sliced through the air, his tone leaving no room for argument. Without moving an inch, I felt Gajeel and Juvia pulling away from me, throwing up an impermeable, invisible barrier between us.

"I apologise. I didn't mean that the way it sounded, Juvia."

"Gray-sama please don't mention those names again." Her expression gave nothing away but the silent admonition was enough. I'd been insulting Juvia left and right, diving into her private life like a bull in a china shop and generally acting like an ass despite our new start promise. They turned to leave and I caught her hand for a second.

"I uh-" It was my turn to send a self-conscious glance at Gajeel, "I meant what I said before. About... About us. Are you going to the library tomorrow?" It was Levy's idea that we all get together and revise at the library every day during our study leave. She had multicoloured timetables and flashcards and all sorts of other paraphernalia that guaranteed her straight A's and the rest of us at least a decent C if we followed her plan. I figured if Levy could get Gajeel into college, she'd have no problem keeping me focussed so I was all for it. A library also seemed like a perfect place to hangout with Juvia. With the enforced silence it'd be impossible for me to say anything stupid.

"Juvia will be there."

"Cool. We can sit together."

Juvia half turned so she could smile, ever so slightly, at me, "Really Gray-sama? Juvia will like that."

I released a relieved breath. I'd said it as casually as possible, not wanting to announce to Gajeel that something weird was going on.

"But Gray-sama is still going to take Juvia out right? Properly."

So much for not giving anything away. Gajeel didn't react though. I'd probably pissed him off too much already.

"Sure," I replied hesitantly. I let go of her hand but couldn't resist adding, "As friends. Not a date."

Juvia nodded but I saw that calculating gleam in her eye. I remembered the way she'd hustled Lyon the other week and made a mental note to be on guard around her this month. I kept saying 'friend' yet I couldn't shake the feeling that Juvia was hearing 'boyfriend'. Thinking about boyfriends... Totomaru huh? Juvia seemed to have layers upon layers of secrets but... Nah. She was too innocent. She probably trailed after that guy like she did me. My stomach rolled. Why was that such a bitter thought? The more I turned it over in my mind, the more I hated it. And then there was Bora who Juvia didn't even want to mention. A guy who gave her nightmares...

* * *

Whatever Gray-sama had on his mind, it wasn't a happy thought. Gajeel was still trying to pull me away, unhappy vibes rolling off him in waves. And quite frankly I was less than happy myself. It felt like everything was slipping out of my control, all in one big rush.

But still, Gray-sama wanted to see me tomorrow. As always he was that patch of blue sky amongst all the rain clouds. He leaned in to me, so close I could feel his breath on my ear and whispered, "I'll watch over you." And those were the exact words I didn't want to hear from him yet they still sent a delicious shiver down my spine.

"Okay." I let Gajeel drag me away, torn about how I felt about Gray. Every instant, each moment, that something happened between us the nuances of our relationship shifted, changed, morphed into something new.

"Do we have a problem?" Gajeel's gruff question cut through the spiralling warmth that Gray-sama's words had left behind.

I sighed and answered honestly, "Juvia might have to make it rain."

* * *

_A little later that day…_

"Hello? Earth to Gray."

I snapped to attention to find Meredy an inch away from my face and nearly fell out of my chair. "What?"

"I'm bored! You're spacing out and Jellal is being a total ogre today. Entertain me." She flounced around the kitchen table, sat down opposite me and started dealing from a pack of cards.

"You know, you can be a real brat sometimes."

"I know," she said with the well mastered tone of a girl who was use to getting her own way. No doubt she was going to be a heartbreaker, if she wasn't one already. Then again, with Jellal running interference and acting more like her father than brother, Meredy would be lucky to get any male attention. At least until we all moved to college. I picked up the cards. It wasn't a bad hand.

"He say anything to you?" After making my way down the hill from Fairy Hills I'd decided to kill two birds with one stone and have lunch with Jellal, Meredy and Ultear. That way I could eat, return Jellal's jacket and maybe even ask him about Erza's weird mood. Unfortunately, Meredy was right. Jellal was in a worse mood than Erza had been in and was definitely not up for talking. I'd opened his door, chucked his jacket over his cover shrouded outline in the bed and asked, "Dude, what's up with you and Erza?" All I'd gotten was a well aimed pillow hitting my face.

"Other than 'Get out!', no. I think he's hungover."

"Let's hope that's all it is," I mumbled under my breath. Hopefully, Jellal and Erza would sort their shit out because I sure as hell wasn't getting involved anymore. I was done having doors and pillows and who knew what next being thrown in my face. If they needed relationship counselling they could damn well get it somewhere else.

"What's up with you anyway? You haven't come over in ages."

"Mmm, I was hungry and here is closer." I looked around the familiar room. So many memories of this place, some wonderful, some terrible and then there was Ultear. I swear down sometimes I looked at her and all I could see was Ul. In a good way. Most days.

Right now, she just looked like herself. Smiling, happy, and most importantly, healthy. I'd watched her struggle for so long with ill health. Every day that she was well felt like a gift. I should really spend more time with her than I currently did. Life could be so… temporary. I heard a loud sigh and turned my attention back to Meredy.

"You're ignoring me too! Did you hear anything I just said?"

I hadn't. "Sorry. Hey, can I ask you something?"

She shrugged non-committally, "Sure but I might just ignore you since both you and Jell are being difficult today."

Jeez, girls were nothing but trouble. "What do you think it means when a girl says she's going to make it rain?"

Meredy tilted her head at me, her long hair spilling over one shoulder, "A girl?"

"Yeah." I remembered it clearly. Gajeel and Juvia had been walking away. He'd said something too low for me to hear but Juvia's tone was so much lighter. Her words had carried through the morning air, sombre and resigned. The phrase made no sense to me but it probably meant something to them. Maybe it was just some street slang I wasn't familiar with.

"I thought that was something guys said."

I raised an eyebrow at her and she continued, dropping her voice in her best imitation of a man's voice, "You know like when you're hanging at the strip club with yo boys and there's this fine girl so you throw all your money at her. Looks like it's raining." She demonstrated with the playing cards, sending them scattering all over my head and the table.

My eyebrow twitched then I burst out laughing. "What are they teaching you kids in school these days?"

Meredy scowled at me, "You asked!"

"Never mind, forget I said anything." Whatever Juvia had meant, it was most certainly not that. Really, a strip club? I was probably making a big deal out of nothing. Still, the words turned over and over in my mind. Yet another mystery to add to the layers surrounding Juvia. Since talking to her or Gajeel was clearly a dead end, I'd have to recruit Natsu into doing things the old fashion way. Whatever. He had a nose for trouble and was always up for just about anything.

I tilted back in the chair until the back hit the wall and gazed out the window. It had turned into a beautiful day. Regardless of Juvia's pessimism it wasn't going to rain. Juvia, Juvia, Juvia. What a mystery. She flitted through my mind. One moment sweet, the next subtly dangerous. Innocent. Sexy. Vulnerable. Mysterious. I couldn't really make up my mind about her. Yet she was tugging me, pulling me to her like we were two magnets that had once opposed each other, now flipped to complementary polarity. I didn't want that. Didn't want to see her as pretty or get all tangled up in her problems. But it was too late. I'd seen her as pretty months ago and I couldn't turn my back on a friend in trouble.

Trouble. Perhaps that one word could sum up Juvia better than any other. I laughed to myself. Hadn't Jet or Droy said that the first time Juvia and Gajeel arrived at Magnolia High? Something about them having trouble written all over them. I'd thought then that trouble or not I wouldn't mind making Juvia my business.

Irony was a bitch.


	16. Being Ame Onna

_A/N: Please note this chapter starts with a Juvia flashback then picks up directly from the last chapter with Gray. __Also, for reasons that will become obvious, I've made Totomaru older. He's twenty when Juvia is sixteen._

_I do not own Fairy Tail._

_Chapter Fifteen - Being Ame Onna_

_"Where are we going?" I had to take two steps for every one of Gajeel's but didn't complain. I'd spent the last few weeks living off his kindness after all. Long days spent in the tiny top floor apartment he called home. The roof leaked when it rained, hot water was all but impossible to get and the broken handrail seemed destined to eventually send some poor unfortunate soul plummeting to their death. Still, I'd started to think of it as home too. Gajeel was interesting. Although rough around the edges, he also managed to be quirky, streetwise, intensely loyal and ambitious. He'd put up with my nightmares for three nights in stoic silence until he got fed up and replaced the bed I'd stolen from him with two smaller ones. Somehow just sharing a room with him quelled the worst of my dreams. Gajeel didn't even comment when I flinched away from his touch, even though we both knew he wouldn't hurt me. I felt guilty about it but I wasn't able to control that reaction yet. Being around any guy was a little bit of a trial for me at the moment to say the least. I don't know why Gajeel was willing to go so far for me but I was immensely grateful. So I cooked for him, tidied up the apartment, listened carefully when he coached me through self-defence moves and tried not to be a nuisance._

_Gajeel-kun walked with his usual sense of purpose besides me and answered my question gruffly, "The main base here in town. I need to find us a job."_

_Ah, Gajeel's gang which more or less owned Oak Town. Any illegal activities, and there was no end of those, was under the exclusive domain of Phantom Lord. Gajeel had explained it to me. The things they did, how it worked, the shadowy figure of Jose Porla who sounded like the real life Godfather to me. I think Gajeel had expected me to be scared, to run from the life he led. I wasn't put off. In fact, I found it perversely exciting. I was sick of being afraid, of pretending to be some perfect little girl. I wanted to be somebody else. I just didn't know who yet. Gajeel always slipped effortlessly into Kurogane. A subtle shift in demeanour that I picked up on every time we stepped out the front door. I studied the way he moved, his brash confidence, how other people reacted to his presence and wanted that for myself. No one would ever take advantage of me again, that's for sure._

_"When we get there," Gajeel said giving me a stern look, "Don't say anything. I'll do all the talking."_

_I nodded, content for the moment to let him take the lead. I'd seen enough to know how this was going to work. Gajeel had a reputation, I had nothing. Only his word was giving me the chance at this new version of myself. _

_The base was anything but innocuous. The brick building towered above the neighbourhood in the style of a bizarre medieval fortress. An array of abandoned houses surrounded it, proclaiming the danger zone for anyone with a bit of common sense. Perhaps in another town evidence of gang activity would be subtle but here the swirling purple and black motif of Phantom Lord proudly flanked the front door. I felt people staring the moment I stepped through the door. Gajeel, of course, walked in like he owned the place and I stuck to him. A small, silent shadow. He exchanged greetings with a few people, not bothering to introduce me so I supposed on this occasion I was meant to be seen, not heard, as my mother would say. I forced down the swell of emotion that thought triggered and adopted the same unphased attitude of Gajeel, even though my casual boredom was faked. _

_We made our way through dark rooms, skimmed past a large bar and ended up in front of a huge board. I read a few notices. The requests covered everything from shaking down someone for money to fronting stolen goods and even one ominous letter asking for help shutting up a snitch. Permanently. I felt a shiver wondering if Gajeel had ever seen a dead body or maybe... No, I thought watching him, he wouldn't do that. Gajeel snagged a curled paper off the board, "This one should be good enough for your first time." _

_I peered at the request, "A robbery?" _

_"I'll do the hard work, you'll just be my lookout."_

_I felt a weird tingling in my chest,"Gajeel trusts Juvia?" _

_"Any reason I shouldn't?"_

_I shook my head immediately,"Juvia is just surprised. If Juvia screws up, Gajeel will get caught."_

_"Don't screw up then," he said like it was that easy. All my past failings suggested it would be harder than he thought. My self-doubt bubbled up like it always did, threatening to drown me in my own worthlessness. _

_It was like he could read my mind. Gajeel grabbed my hand, running his fingers over the callouses that had formed there from hours of throwing repetitive jabs at a punching bag. "There is no before, no future, only now. You're not weak. I know that, but do you?" _

_His words rocked through me. Gajeel had climbed his way up the ranks of Phantom Lord and had the strong conviction that hard work equalled results. He saw no reason why that mantra couldn't apply to me. Nothing from my past would dissuade him. His certainty tempted me to believe it too. Maybe that spark he'd seen in me could be a flame if I was only willing to give it a chance. My fledgling confidence got a needed boost and I nodded. Gajeel looked oddly pleased as if I'd done something incredibly clever which had the strange effect of making me feel happy too. _

_The moment was ruined by some guy saying, "Isn't this sweet. Finally found yourself a woman, Kurogane?" _

_I felt Gajeel tense then force himself to relax. His eyes sent me a warning before he turned away. "What's it you, Totomaru?" _

_The guy, Totomaru, wandered over to us like he had not a care in the world. I wasn't fooled. Those idle steps couldn't conceal a subtle agility. There seemed to be duplicity in everyone I met these days and this guy was no exception. His casualness was as faked as mine. I studied him as he stepped out from the shadows. He wasn't built like Gajeel, but again there was something about him that told me not to underestimate his strength. His two-toned hair and the linear tattoo across his face were both unusual. Despite that, or maybe because of it, other girls probably would have thought he was good looking but I didn't care. I was done with men. Anyway, I could tell by the way he tilted his head and looked down at me that he was insufferably arrogant._

_"Nothing to me but I'm sure other people will be very interested in your cute little distraction," Totomaru said to Gajeel even though his dark eyes lingered on me, "I've been hearing things about you, Gajeel. Good things. One moment you're an up and coming guy. Running solo missions for Jose, got the younger kids worshipping the ground you walk on, all these rumours going around saying your angling for a top spot. Maybe even a spot alongside the Element 3." __Totomaru shrugged. "Who knows about that because just like that," he snapped his fingers in my face and I couldn't suppress a small flinch, "You drop off the surface of the earth. Jose doesn't like that and I don't like having to babysit a kid that should know better." He shifted to one side, revealing a shadowy set of narrow stairs that I hadn't noticed before. "He wants to talk to you. Alone."_

_Who 'He' was needed no explanation. I felt a sliver of fear for Gajeel. He'd been spending time with me instead of following Jose's orders. He still went out every day but I doubted Jose appreciated split loyalties. Gajeel didn't hesitate. He never did. He kept telling me that indecisiveness led to trouble. That weakness got you nothing but a kicked ass and no respect. "Wait here for me," he said in a low tone, "Don't go anywhere and for the love of Zeref, don't do anything stupid."_

_Was he kidding? I was going to do my best to fade into the background and not draw attention to myself. I watched Gajeel's back disappear up the narrow staircase then tried to ignore the obvious staring of Totomaru. Which became impossible when he started walking in a slow circle around me. Goosebumps appeared on my arms but I kept my expression nonchalant and tried not to panic. Why couldn't men just leave me alone?_

_Finally Totomaru stopped right in front of me, crossed his arms over his chest and leered at me. I glared back even though my heart was in my throat. I figured that was what Gajeel would have done in this situation. I didn't want this guy to know he made me uncomfortable. _

_Totomaru raised an eyebrow at me, clearly expecting some kind of reaction. _

_I didn't speak. What the hell did he want? _

_"I saw you."_

_What? Was that supposed to mean something? My confusion must have been obvious because he continued. _

_"In town with Kurogane. You were wearing a flashy black dress and these dumbass shoes. High heels. Shiny and new like you just got them out of the box. There's you all dolled up like a fashion model next to Kurogane in his ripped twenty jewel jeans. I laughed my ass off. And then I thought to myself, 'Look at this fucking princess. What a joke.' Are you trying to piss your parents off with your choice of a boyfriend? This ain't the place to be working out your daddy issues."_

_This asshole had no idea about me and my 'daddy issues'. My father didn't give a shit about me. I'd decided a few weeks back not to give a damn about him either. I said nothing. What I wore was none of his business. Gajeel was already turning his life upside down for me. I refused to have him spend jewels on clothes too. It'd been our first fight. In the end I'd relented and let Gajeel buy me flat shoes but I'd get my own new wardrobe when I earned it. _

_Something flashed in Totomaru's eyes. "What's wrong Princess? You too good to speak to me?" _

_Of course I wasn't. I wasn't about to rise to this guy's bait either. "Juvia is not a princess," I said primly then inwardly cringed at my tone. I did sound a little high and mighty. _

_"Well damn. You even talk like a princess. Kurogane went out and found himself a high class lady." His tone had been mocking up to now but turned darker. "Get the fuck out of this town. We don't need worthless distractions around here."_

_My jaw clenched. It was one thing for me to think ill of myself but I'd be damned if I let this idiot say whatever he wanted to me. I was done being treated that way. "You leave if you want to. Juvia will not."_

_"Feisty, aren't you?"_

_I glared harder, "Juvia doesn't want to talk to you."_

_"I don't care what you want. You're nobody and I'm… Well, you don't need to know. I can see what Gajeel likes about you, but a pretty face isn't good enough. I'm telling you one more time. Run along home Princess. This is no game and I've no time to be looking after a little girl whose good for nothing but warming a bed."_

_Those words cut. Deep. With everything that'd happened to me the last thing I needed was this idiot adding insult to injury. And he was standing way too close to me. And looking at me like I was a choice steak at the meat counter. And his hand was reaching for me. His fingers skimmed my waist, attempting to turn me in the direction of the door. Like hell did this man just touch me! He'd get away with that over my dead body and probably not even then. __I couldn't help it. I snapped. Before I'd really thought it through everything Gajeel had taught me condensed down to one beautiful, perfect moment._

_I punched Totomaru in the face. _

_It hurt like hell. Much worse than against a punching bag. Pain bloomed through my hand but it was completely worth it for that look on his face. It was the exact same one Gajeel had worn when I'd stolen his switchblade off him. And just like back then, I felt awesome. For about ten seconds. Then all hell broke loose._

_Specifically, the gates to Hades themselves seemed to open in Totomaru's eyes. I could literally see his assessment of me going from Gajeel's plaything to viable opponent. He swiped the back of his hand over his mouth, smearing a tiny amount of blood. Anger poured off him in waves. I got the distinct impression of standing before a roaring fire then he was moving and all I could think was that my assessment of his hidden agility was spot on._

_He was ridiculously fast. I think my life should have flashed before my eyes in that split second because I'd just made the stupidest mistake ever but the vision before me was flesh and blood, no shadowy memory. "Gajeel," I gasped then I had time for nothing else except staying out of their way. _

_This was no patient demonstration of the basics. Gajeel and Totomaru weren't holding back at all. In minutes half the furniture in the room was destroyed and more people were turning up out of nowhere. Apparently in Phantom Lord, one punch was enough to set off a full scale brawl. It was pure chaos. I scrambled backwards, trying to avoid flying fists and elbows while keeping an eye on Gajeel but it was pointless. I was at the epicentre of a fight that had undoubtedly been started by me. Someone pulled my hair. I gave up trying to avoid the confrontation and joined in the fray with the rest of them._

_How much time passed I couldn't tell but the fight ended as abruptly as it had started. A door banged open and it felt like all the air rushed out of the room. Into the sudden silence a single voice spoke, "How sorrowful. We are scattered flowers on the wind never to be returned to where we once were."_

_"Knock it off Aria." The voice was indistinct, still I recognised it as Totomaru. "We're done here."_

_People immediately started disappearing back into the darkness of the building. Gajeel materialised by my side. His shirt was ripped and his left eye was already swelling shut. I opened my mouth and snapped it closed when he seethed, "Is this what you call not doing anything stupid? We need to get out of here. Immediately." He gripped my arm tightly and hustled me down a long hallway, around several sharp corners and out a side door. The bright sunlight had me instinctively squinting but Gajeel kept marching me along. He finally halted in a narrow alleyway not unlike the one we'd first met in and shook me. _

_"Are you insane? What the hell are you thinking throwing punches at one of the Elements? Do you want to die? Or are you only trying to get me killed? So help me, Juvia this is the first and last time I'm getting my ass kicked for you! Next time you pull a stunt like that you can crash and burn by yourself!"_

_"Juvia is sorry!" I wailed. Gajeel was my only friend in the world right now and he was seriously pissed off. I'd never heard him string so many words together which was testament to how worked up he was. Then again he had every right to be. Gajeel had briefly told me about the strongest guys in Phantom Lord who made up the Element 3. He'd mostly said that they were seriously dangerous but that I'd never met them since they were so high up in the hierarchy of the gang. I changed the judgement of my recent actions from 'stupid' to 'suicidal'. "How was Juvia supposed to know who Totomaru was?"_

_Gajeel stalked away from me throwing his hands in the air, "I don't know! That deadly aura wasn't enough for you? Why do I have to pick the day that not one, but two of the Elements are in town to bring you to the base?"_

_The question sounded rhetorical so I kept silent while Gajeel paced in front of me. Adrenaline was fading from my body making me notice all my scrapes and bruises. I touched my cheek, wincing at the tenderness there._

_Gajeel pulled my hand away and studied my face, "It's not too bad. You hurting anywhere else?"_

_I was, but stubbornness made me shake my head. "Why is Gajeel mad at Juvia? Juvia didn't know who Totomaru was. He was mean to Juvia. Gajeel said Juvia should stand up for Juvia. Juvia only did what she thought Gajeel would do." That wasn't strictly true. I'd lost my cool a little bit but that was beside the point._

_He sighed, "But you're not me. Listen up. It's true that you do not take crap from anybody but you also don't fuck with anyone unless you know you can beat them. Not hope you can, know you can. Believe me, you're a million miles from his level."_

_I lowered my head, chastised, "Gomenasai."_

_Silence reigned for a moment until with another sigh Gajeel threw an arm over my shoulder. Instead of pulling away, I let him maintain that small amount of contact. "You did okay. At least there was no hysterical girly screaming and that first punch was great form." _

_I glared at him, "Juvia does not scream hysterically and... Juvia has a really good teacher."_

_"Damn straight."_

_"Hey Gajeel," I said as we started walking, "Is what Totomaru said true? Are you really almost at the same level as the Elements?" That was seriously impressive if it was true. _

_Gajeel shrugged carelessly, "I don't know. I don't want to be an Element. I work better alone."_

_"Don't be so modest, Kurogane. I thought you held your own pretty good against me."_

_"Shit," Gajeel breathed. Around the corner we'd just turned was Totomaru, whose eyes still blazed when he looked at me, and the biggest guy I'd ever seen in my life. He towered over both Gajeel and Totomaru. I resisted the urge to let my mouth drop open in shock, choosing instead to adopt an air of untouchablility. Was that guy even human? _

_"I thought we were done," Gajeel said. _

_"We are," Totomaru replied gesturing between himself and Gajeel. "I wasn't done with her."_

_Gajeel's eyes narrowed and Totomaru added,"Talking to her. Just talking. If she behaves herself." Without waiting for Gajeel's response, Totomaru spoke to me, "You punch like-"_

_"A girl?" I demanded and Gajeel didn't bother concealing his groan. Clearly I hadn't learned my lesson about not antagonising those stronger than myself. Oh well. I guess I was the type that had to learn the hard way._

_"Like Gajeel. Good technique with your weight behind the throw. Not bad for a newbie." Totomaru continued like I'd never spoken, "I spoke to Jose about you. He wants you marked within three months. Take care of the details Kurogane."_

_Gajeel looked surprised but recovered quickly,"I'll get it done."_

_"Oh sweet rose adorned in beauty and thorns, the sky watches over all." I blinked at the huge guy who must have been the same one that'd brought the earlier fight to an abrupt end with only his presence. I mean, how many people talked like that? _

_"Aria and I will be watching, Princess. Get your shit together and prove you belong here." He leaned in close to me, "As for that punch, you owe me blood. When I come for payment, you better be ready."_

_His voice was low and smooth, almost seductive. It was a satin wrapped threat. My only reaction was repulsion. He was too close to me again. My hands curled into fists and Totomaru grinned at me. "Sheath your claws Princess. You're not ready for me. Yet."_

_I couldn't breathe properly until they walked away. Gajeel was giving me a disgruntled look, "You really want to die."_

_"Ano ne…" I mumbled, feeling sheepish. My temper had a will of its own these days especially around strange new guys. They made me feel weird and I couldn't help lashing out._

_"So much for easing you in gently. No chance of that with you drawing all this attention. Three months isn't a lot of time to earn a mark."_

_"A mark?"_

_Gajeel flexed and the tattoo on his arm jumped, "You didn't think you were a member of Phantom just from hanging out with me, right? These have to be earned. Oak Town High is a good place to start."_

_I made a face. I'd basically dropped out of high school. I missed some subjects and a logical part of me thought not having a high school diploma would be a bad idea in the long term but I couldn't say I was eager to go back. "Why?"_

_"Proving ground."_

_Was he being for real? "School can't be that bad. It's not Battle Royale."_

_Gajeel laughed, "You haven't been there yet."_

* * *

"Have you started studying yet?"

"Oh come on Ultear," I barely resisted rolling my eyes at her. Sometimes she was so motherly. It was probably Meredy's influence. Ultear was in no way old enough to be her actual mother but Meredy didn't seem to mind at all. Hence Ultear thought it was okay to baby all of us.

"Don't talk with food in your mouth," Ultear reprimanded me like I was still seven, "And answer the question."

I stuck my food coated tongue out in response and got matching disgusted looks from Meredy and Ultear.

"You are so gross!" Meredy squealed, "What do all those girls see in you?"

I waggled my eyebrows suggestively at her, "Maybe it's something you can't see."

"Eww. You won't be bragging when you catch some nasty venereal disease."

"Meredy please! Is that polite lunchtime conversation?" Ultear shot us both a look.

"He started it!"

"Did not!"

Ultear sighed and dusted the crumbs from her fingers before rising from the table. "I don't know what to do with you two. At least Lyon and Jellal turned out alright."

I scowled, "Hey!" I never really considered Jellal a rival but Lyon and I had been in competition with each other for years. I disliked the thought of losing to him in anything. "I have started revising."

Ultear leaned across the table and flicked my forehead, "Try maturing next."

Meredy seemed to find that hysterical. I ignored her in favour of finishing off my sandwich. There was nothing wrong with my maturity level. At all.

Across the room from us, Ultear was filling a tall glass with water from the kitchen sink. That wasn't unusual by itself but she still had a mug of tea on the table. She pressed her left hand briefly to her lips then raised the glass and took a deep drink. It was nothing, an idle snapshot of time yet it dredged up a deep memory of mine. I'd seen that series of movements before. Nearly every day actually back when Ultear had been on a cocktail of constantly changing drugs just to keep her alive. I watched her pull the same face she always did at the bitter taste and the last bite of my sandwich turned to ash in my mouth.

Ultear was one in a million in the worst possible way. A unique combination of faulty genetics and an unfair share of bad luck had given her a rare condition that baffled the best doctors in Earthland. I knew all about it since I'd been with her to just about every specialist there was. I also knew popping pills wasn't normal for her anymore. I hadn't seen that particular ritual in years because that's how long Ultear had been in remission. Not cured, never that, but living normally.

A million thoughts exploded like confetti inside my head, none of them good. My face must have been a picture because Meredy stopped laughing and nudged me. "What's wrong Gray? You look like you've seen a ghost."

I sure felt like I'd seen one. All at once I was back to being a kid again watching Ultear suffer and Ul cry. It felt horrible. A cool hand on my shoulder brought me back to reality. Ultear smiled at me, "I'm fine Gray. Work has been tiring me out lately so I brought some multivitamins. I'm not sick." Her long dark hair slipped over her shoulder and fluttered into my face. It smelled like coconuts but the cloying antiseptic scent of a hospital came over me.

I jerked out of the chair, "I have to go." I was already halfway to the front door when Ultear caught up to me.

"Gray! Don't look like that. You know I would tell you if I was ill again."

Sure she would. Ultear was living on borrowed time. It was something I'd always known yet tried not to think about. That we'd have this same conversation again at sometime in the future was a given. Except it wouldn't be nothing. She wouldn't just be a little tired from work. The inevitable would happen someday. I just didn't want to talk about it right now. "Whatever. I'll come see you soon."

She looked like she wanted to argue but then she sighed, "Alright then."

If she had made a fuss it probably would have turned out differently but Ultear's easy acceptance had me squeezing her into a quick hug before I left. She was the perfect height so that my lips could graze her temple. Ultear was crazy important to me. I really wished she wasn't. I eased her away from me and left with a wave. So much drama on such a beautiful day. Jeez, my life was a wreck.

* * *

Above me the sky was a flawless blue but the strong east wind heralded the coming storm. It was going to be a rough night.

I lifted my foot and the rope of the tire swing unraveled slowly. The boys dorm, the trees and Gajeel-kun all revolved past me. Faster and faster until the world was a blur. Feeling slightly dizzy, I came to a stop facing Gajeel and aimed a half hearted smile at him. He didn't smile back.

He'd grilled me for the better part of an hour on every little detail I remembered about last night. At least the first part of last night. When I'd moved on to talking about Gray-sama his expression had become bored. I'd taken the hint and shut the hell up. Now, he was sat on top of the wooden picnic table about four feet from me. "We'll take care of it. Tonight."

I nodded. It really was the only option we had."Juvia will think of a plan." Gajeel didn't protest. In Phantom Lord we'd technically been of equal rank but the Element 4 were always elevated above everyone else in most peoples eyes. In any case, Gajeel preferred working alone. On the rare occasions when our jobs overlapped we just got on with it. There was no rivalry between Gajeel-kun and I. It might have been a gang of misfits but Jose didn't tolerate insubordination. You either beat the person higher than you and took their spot or you shut the hell up and followed their orders. It didn't matter that it took me months to achieve what took most people years. Once I earned my spot, there was no point arguing about it.

A stray thought sent a shiver down my spine, "What if Jose-"

"That won't happen," Gajeel said firmly before adding, "This ends tonight."

I sure hoped so."Gajeel-kun, about Totomaru..."

"No offence Juvia but you have a knack for making terrible choices in men."

I pursed my lips,"He wasn't that bad."

"Define 'bad'. He used you."

"He didn't. Not like _him._" Totomaru and Bora had been similar in some ways and complete opposites in others. The opposite ways were the only ones that truly mattered. As far as I knew, Totomaru had genuinely liked me. At least a little. And I… Well, I couldn't say I loved him or anything. That would be a lie. I wasn't really sure how I'd felt about Totomaru. Being emotional was a liability back then yet Totomaru had somehow managed to get under my skin even though I'd fought it every step of the way. Regardless of what Gajeel thought, being with Totomaru was not something I regretted.

Gajeel's scowl deepened at my veiled reference to Bora, "There's more than one way to use somebody."

Yeah there was and being in Phantom Lord we damn well learnt most of them. I changed the subject, "Is Gajeel-kun mad at Juvia?"

Gajeel leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, "No. It was going to happen eventually. I am surprised though."

I chewed on my bottom lip, "Sorry, Juvia shouldn't have let her guard down."

"Damn right. That's not what I meant though," Gajeel's voice lowered a fraction, "I can't believe you told Gray about Bora."

I sucked in a deep breath, "Juvia didn't. Not on purpose. Juvia had a nightmare and was mumbling stuff."

"A nightmare? You haven't had one of those in years." The expression on Gajeel's face faded more towards concern. "Are you really okay?"

"Yeah," I said slowly. Honestly I wasn't too sure but I needed to be okay.

Gajeel walked over and gave me a gentle push that sent the tire swing twirling. "So… What the fuck is going on with you and Gray?"

* * *

I woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of rain beating down in an endless torrent. A text conversation with Enno was still open on my phone, her last message not yet replied to. I flicked it closed. We'd chatted back and forth for most of the day. She was okay, which was at least one weight off my mind. Thinking of her, I had the lingering thought that this weekend was the first in a long time that I hadn't gotten laid. No new girl to explore, no quick fuck to distract me. Bizarrely, I didn't feel like I'd missed out on anything. Juvia was enough trouble for one weekend. Weird. I shook off that idea. Maybe I should call one of those new girls I'd met at Risley's party. I couldn't have Juvia cramping my style like this. Making me act all crazy and get all worried about her.

The thought of my behaviour over the last two days was enough to drive me out of bed and over to the window. It was messed up how much could change so fast. I didn't like it. A fork of lightning lit up the sky followed by a distant rumble of thunder. I raised the window sash. Cool raindrops tumbled through the gap to land on my bare feet and the tumultuous sound became louder. I gazed out at the storm wondering why the weather reminded me so much of Juvia. Probably since she'd been right about the rain coming. Not that I thought she caused it. Oh god. There I was musing over her again. I didn't want to think of her and her problems anymore yet my mind kept circling back to her. I slammed the window shut and closed the curtains on the storm. Laying back down I scrolled through my contact list for a number I had but never used.

Juvia's.

Why was I thinking about texting her at two in the morning? Lucy had added Juvia's number to my phone as some kind of horrible attempt at matchmaking. I could have deleted it months ago. But there it was, lingering in my contacts like it belonged there. I felt a strange urge to check she was okay. What the hell? She was sleeping. I should be sleeping. I tossed my phone across the room and turned my back on it. I was _not _going to let that girl and her mysterious problems take over my life.

* * *

Standing before the mirror I sucked in a deep breath and opened my eyes.

Shit.

I don't know why I was surprised. I'd dragged my old clothes out of the back of my closet and curled my slightly too short hair into an approximation of the original style I used to wear it in. I'd even found my hat and boots. Old Juvia stared back at me from the mirror. I noticed my hands trembling as I pinned a _teru teru bozu _to my shawl. So small a change and Juvia was gone, Ame onna quietly replacing her. I stilled my hands. At least the appearance of Ame onna was back. In truth I was just Juvia wearing a disguise.

The afternoon had ticked away slowly. I'd lingered at the boys dorm, unwilling to face the truth of what Gajeel and I would willingly walk into tonight. Thanks to Gray-sama winding him up, Gajeel-kun had been extra stoic while I explained how things between Gray and I had changed. I hadn't held much back. At the end of it all he'd simply stated, "Don't come crying to me if this goes wrong." It wasn't so much that he didn't care, he definitely did, but he'd said his piece, given his warning and was stepping back to let me sink or swim with my own decision. Still, I was confident that if I did need a shoulder to cry on, Gajeel would lend me his irrespective of his words. Of course I had no plans to be crying over Gray-sama unless they were tears of joy.

I shelved the thoughts. It was difficult. Gray-sama had been the star my life revolved around all year. To shift him to the backburner right when we were on the cusp of something new was contrary to my every inclination. I reminded myself that Gajeel-kun and I had a serious issue to handle that needed all of my attention and a healthy dose of my old self. So here I was, in my old clothes, feeling like a stranger in my own skin. Because Vidaldus and Trinity Raven weren't going to stop searching for us if we asked nicely. They didn't care that our lives in Magnolia were beautiful. I did. Great things were always worth fighting for and this was no exception.

There would be blood. Theirs. Ours.

A soft tap at my window made me jump. I forced myself to breathe, walk calmly across the room and open the curtains. There was nothing but darkness. I opened the window and eased one leg then the other over the sash. Cool raindrops tickled my cheeks but it was Gajeel-kun's warm hands that landed on my waist and lowered me to the ground. He was nothing but a darker blur in the black night. His clothes and appearance hadn't shifted much from his days as Kurogane. I wondered if doing this bothered him as much as it bothered me.

We walked through the garden in silence. We'd done all the planning earlier. There was nothing to say and no turning back now. I climbed on Gajeel's bike and we coasted down the hill. No lights, no engine, nothing to disturb the other sleeping girls. How I wished I was one of them. At the bottom of the hill, the engine roared to life and we took off, going much faster than the speed limit. I clung to Gajeel and watched the rain drenched streets race by.

We eventually came to a stop at a familiar building. I followed Gajeel's confident steps into the darkness and waited just inside the doorway while he went to turn on the light. The bright fluorescence burned my eyes, blinding me temporarily. I blinked slowly until the room came into focus. The garage was tidy. The tools all safely stored for the night, cars aligned in neat lines, the smell of oil masked by the bitter orange tang of whatever it was they used to clean the place. Gajeel-kun led me to the corner and a tarpaulin covered mound. My mouth went dry. I would have hesitated, Gajeel didn't. He pulled the dark green covering off in one smooth motion.

I couldn't resist wandering closer to run my fingers over the flawless polish. Every part of my motorcycle gleamed like it was brand new. I'd known Gajeel was taking care of it but damn. He'd done an amazing job. I traced the trail of painted raindrops that graced the body. People always said that when I rode by the drops appeared to dance over the surface like real rain. It was a perfect foreshadow. I always took the rain with me no matter where I went.

There was a soft jangle at my side. Gajeel held the keys out to me. I reached for them and he drew back. "You don't have to do this Juvia."

It was an out. And an insult.

"Gajeel-kun doesn't trust Juvia."

"That's not it. I trust you with my life."

"Juvia can handle this," I insisted.

"I never said you couldn't."

"Then what?" I snapped at him.

"Your eyes." He leaned around me and pulled a picture out from where it was wedged in the frame. In it we stood back to back, not touching, but close. Like I'd been thinking earlier, there was virtually no difference in the way Gajeel-kun dressed now compared to then. His scowling face looked a little younger and a lot meaner but perhaps I was the only one who'd be able to see the subtle changes. Gajeel intimidated people without really trying. He just had that kind of aura and an expression more inclined to frown than smile. I looked at myself. A carbon copy of what I'd seen in the mirror earlier looked back at me. The blue coat with the gold buttons, my white trimmed shawl, the ghostly looking teru truly bozo and my fur hat. I looked at my eyes in the photo and finally saw what Gajeel did.

They were empty, cold. No expression was on my face. It was impossible to say if I was angry, sad, happy, bored, anything. This wasn't like Erza earlier. She'd been so obviously hiding pain in that blank stare of hers. I was just… lifeless. It made sense. Strength required no emotion. It knew only winners and losers. Phantom Lord had trained me to be a winner. A stone cold soldier in the war Jose waged against the establishment. I'd taught myself to feel nothing and that was reflected in my eyes.

"That's not you. Not anymore." There was no judgement in Gajeel's voice. It was a simple statement of fact.

"It's who Juvia will be tonight." I used the exact same tone as Gajeel because that girl in the photo was who I _had_ to be tonight. Whether my heart protested it or not.

The keys landed in my hand. I didn't know if I was relieved or disappointed. The tug of war battle I'd felt earlier had made its way into my heart.

"He's looking at you differently."

"What?"

"Gray. The way he looks at you has changed." I stared at Gajeel but he was looking pointedly away from me with his arms crossed tight across his chest. I didn't know what to say. Apart from his one comment, Gajeel had been mute on anything concerning Gray-sama when we'd talked earlier. I'd given him a fairly comprehensive run down on everything that'd been going on and gotten little reaction. I'd thought he was simply too angry to say anything. Now it seemed like he had needed more time to think things over before making any response.

"He's still an idiot," he added stubbornly.

I tried to fight it but a small grin slipped onto my face. That was as much a concession as Gajeel-kun could give so I would take it gladly. I would be Ame onna tonight if only so I could be Juvia with Gray-sama tomorrow and the day after that, and the one after that without any unwelcome visitors from the past.

My fingers curled into a fist around the keys. "Let's get this done."


	17. Rough

_A/N: This chapter contains violence. All mentioned 'gangs' are canon guilds._

_I do not own Fairy Tail_

_Chapter Sixteen - Rough_

Makarov-sensei hated our motorcycles. He didn't think they were safe and to be fair he had a point. Especially with the way we used to ride them. No one in Phantom Lord gave a shit about road safety. Or safety in general. Speed limits were a joke and helmets were for losers who actually cared if they lived or died that day. Of course Makarov-sensei's views on life were the polar opposite of that devil may care mentality. While I had been happy enough to stick my motorcycle in storage, Gajeel-kun couldn't be parted from his so Makarov-sensei had made us promise to obey the rules of the road and always wear helmets.

Tonight, we broke that promise big time. I suspected it would be the first of many broken promises to the man who'd helped us turn our lives around. I hoped he would understand that we didn't have a choice. Even that lingering sense of guilt couldn't mask the unadulterated adrenaline rush I was having. I twisted my wrists a fraction more and the powerful engine responded immediately, surging forward on the rain slicked streets. It was beyond dangerous to be going this fast on such a wet night. My heart raced, not with fear but with joy. This was a million times better than catching a ride with Gajeel-kun. It was more exhilarating than I even remembered. The reverberations of the bike beneath me, the world racing by in a blur of colours, it was amazing. I fell back in love with the sensation almost immediately. Couldn't believe I'd been so willing to give it up.

Gajeel-kun pulled up beside me, a rare smile on his face. Probably because I was grinning like a fool and he knew exactly why. He felt it too. The freedom. From rules, worries and regrets. Just freedom to ride this open road wherever it took us. I forgot all my misgivings about where we were heading tonight and simply enjoyed the ride. It was so easy to lose myself in the moment. I wished we could ride this way forever. Up ahead the traffic lights were flashing amber but we didn't want to stop, could see no reason why we should have to. No rules could bind us, nothing could tie us down. We were the rulers of the night, the bad influences parents warned their kids about, the people you crossed the street to avoid when you walked alone. We owned the night.

I gunned my bike. Gajeel-kun was a split second behind me. The light turned red. My already racing heart leapt into my throat. Raindrops hit my face, soft as a kiss. The headlights of approaching traffic lit up the intersection. The first car was nowhere near us. The driver was probably half asleep and slow to get the car in gear. The car in the other lane was closer, much closer. So close I could see the driver's eyes widen with shock and his jaw go slack as we raced past within inches of his front bumper. Brakes squealed, a horn sounded and I laughed. Laughed at the night with my hair being tugged by the wind and the rain dancing for me. The rush made me feel alive.

It was easy to remember the bad things in Phantom Lord, yet a big part of being Ame onna had been feeling in charge of my own life and some of it had been downright fun. There was exhilaration in doing what you want, when and how you wanted to. Being completely free because there was no fate but what you grabbed with your own hands. I let the feeling sweep me away as Gajeel-kun and I left Magnolia far behind. As the miles slid by I wasn't troubled by my wavering heart, the ghosts of the past or the uncertainties of the future. I was untouchable. Of course it couldn't last. I might have temporarily left my doubts behind but inevitably they caught up with me.

We weren't heading to Oak Town but we were going near enough that I could recognise landmarks. Memories threatened me, stealing my smile. The further we travelled, the colder the rain felt. It soaked through my coat, chilling my skin; slowing my heart and dampening my excitement. Gajeel-kun and I were not out for a joyride. We slowed down to cruising speed. It wasn't our intention to draw attention to ourselves. In fact we planned to hunt down Vidaldus with as little fuss as possible. Problem was, Vidaldus was not a normal member of Death's Head Caucus and Death's Head Caucus was itself not a normal gang. It owned no territory, had no set base. Neither Gajeel nor I had any real idea about where exactly to find them. They were the type of gang that travelled around causing trouble and switching sides in conflicts to whoever paid most. Loyalty meant jewels to them, the more the better. They didn't tend to stick around in one place for very long.

Vildadus was a part of the elite group, Trinity Raven, and they didn't have a base either, or if they did it was an intensely kept secret. Also, they might be part of Death's Head Caucus but the three members of Trinity Raven danced to different drum. A more dangerous drum. They had an infamous reputation for completing any task set before them. They were notoriously brutal, borderline psychopaths and professional criminals. When he wasn't drugging me, I reckoned I might be able to handle Vidaldus but as Gajeel-kun would say, 'might' wasn't good enough. You had to be confident. I wasn't. I hoped I had dislocated his shoulder the other night or better yet broken something. It would help level the playing field a bit. As for the other members, we didn't know much about them besides the rumours but if they were anything like Vidaldus, Gajeel-kun and I would have our hands full.

The situation being already difficult, we had no intention of taking on the rest of Death's Head Caucus in the process so we had to be clever about how we proceeded. Never mind the fact that Vidaldus had confirmed there was some kind of turf war going on between Phantom Lord and another gang. A gang with enough jewels to hire Death's Head Caucus to do its dirty work. This was going to get messy as hell if we didn't tread carefully.

Needless to say, we couldn't simply ride back into Phantom Lord territory and get information about what had been going on the last year or more specifically the last seven weeks. That'd be asking for disaster. Best case scenario, we wouldn't run into anyone we knew at all. Get in, get our shit done, get out, with no one realising we were even there was the basic plan. Gajeel-kun and I began a slow arc taking us around the outskirts of our old haunting ground. Phantom Lord owned Oak Town and all the surrounding countryside. I couldn't imagine Jose losing his grip on what was his which meant he had to be pushing into someone else's territory. _Dark Unicorn_, _Ghoul Spirit_, there were so many it could be but who it was didn't really matter. We just needed to narrow down our search area.

We used the back streets, no headlights, engines purring softly as we searched for clues. My nerves twanged, all my senses alert for the slightest hint of danger. This was not going to be a repeat of Saturday night. When I faced Vidaldus, I'd be ready. Still, adrenaline could only take me so far. I breathed deep and let my emotions settle. Cool, distant, in control. At least on the surface.

We were avoiding known hotspots so it took longer than I would have liked to find what we were looking for but when we did we hit the jackpot. A Phantom Lord mark scrawled on a crumbling wall well to the west of Phantom Lord's established territory. And along with that, an idiot attempting to cover the graffiti with more of his own. Poor fool. Gajeel-kun and I cut the engines simultaneously, our thoughts as one. Our bikes rolled to a stop not ten feet behind him and he didn't even notice, he was that intent on completing his job. The spray can made a hissing noise that covered the soft sound of our footsteps. We stood silently as he put the finishing touches on the new mark.

Apparently pleased with his work he stepped back one pace and placed his hands on his hips. Mavis, this was so easy. They must be recruiting naïve innocents these days. How could this guy not sense our intent? I'd been able to at least do that before I stepped into the darkness of Phantom Lord. Still, it was to our benefit so I couldn't complain.

I placed one foot between his, put my right hand on his shoulder and yanked backwards. I kept hold of him as he fell and followed him down, rolling our bodies so he landed on his stomach underneath me. My knee pressed into his spine and I grabbed a chunk of his hair to shove his face into the wet ground. I held him there until he stopped struggling. When I raised his head a fraction, he coughed out filthy water, sucked in a deep breath and yelled. Well, he tried to yell. I smacked his head back down hard enough to draw blood from his nose and smother the noise he was trying to make. He quieted a lot faster this time. The combination of blood and mud clogging his airways made it difficult for him to breathe. His choice was simple. Shut up or suffocate. Still I waited until his body had gone mostly slack before jerking his head back up. This time, apart from his rasping breaths, he was as silent as the grave.

Gajeel-kun squatted down in front of him, aiming a flashlight directly into his eyes. The light was primarily so he wouldn't see Gajeel's face but also worked double as a pretty good intimidation technique. "You learn fast. We like that," Gajeel said quietly. "I have a few questions. Answer honestly and we'll let you go. Refuse and…" Gajeel flicked his switchblade open and stabbed it into the ground a fraction of an inch from the guy's nose. "You get me?"

The guy got it. He understood the subtle threat so well that he sang like a bird. Telling us everything we needed to know and more. We left him bound, blindfolded and coated in mud at the side of the road. I left a little wiggle room in the ties. With any luck he'd manage to free himself and be too humiliated to admit to anyone what had happened. Even if he did squeal, I'd kept quiet so the way I spoke wouldn't give me away and the vague shadowy outline of Gajeel could have been anybody. We'd been lucky so far tonight. I hoped our luck held.

The guy was a new recruit to a gang called Phoenix Grave. Poor kid hadn't even been initiated yet. Well he had to know what he was getting himself into and that was a lesson best learned sooner rather than later. Phoenix Grave had hired Death's Head Caucus to balance the scales against the hostile takeover of Phantom Lord. Unfortunately for Phoenix Grave, the members of Death's Head Caucus were more of a problem than a solution. They weren't taking their side of the deal seriously. Phantom Lord was carving out whole swathes of new territory every week while Death's Head Caucus took their payment and spent most, if not all of it, in the local bars then demanded more jewels. There'd been a few serious fights but for all intents and purposes Death's Head Caucus didn't give a damn if Phoenix Grave fell into oblivion. It wasn't worth the money to them. That explained why Vidaldus was in Magnolia the other night. Trinity Raven were grossly over-skilled and, in their opinion, underpaid for saving a relatively unknown gang from the onslaught of Phantom Lord. By my estimation, Death's Head Caucus had never planned on helping Phoenix Grave. Like a shark scenting blood they'd closed in on easy money and the chance for a fight. Phoenix Grave would fall to Phantom Lord but not before Death's Head Caucus milked it dry.

Boredom alone would have made Vidaldus want to come after me the other night. Only one of the Elements or another high ranking member like Gajeel-kun would have remotely challenged him and Jose was too clever to play into that game. Doubtless, Totomaru and the others had strict orders not to engage with Trinity Raven. Without a worthy target, Trinity Raven didn't even consider this a proper job therefore half-assing it and taking a night off to explore Magnolia would be completely justifiable to them. I bit back a sigh. It'd been a terrible case of wrong place, wrong time for Vidaldus to cross my path that night.

It would be no coincidence when we met tonight. Gajeel-kun and I left our motorbikes on a quiet residential street and walked deeper into town. The guy from Phoenix Grave had given fairly good directions. My mind wandered as Gajeel-kun took the lead. We were doing this to keep our new way of life safe. I had plenty of motivation. The memory of waking up in Gray-sama's arms brought heat to my cheeks. He'd held me so tightly, like I was someone precious to him. Then he'd freaked out so badly when the realisation of his stripping hit him. Although mildly annoying, I'd actually found his response kind of cute too. And then tomorrow. A study date. Well, sort of. I mused over his accidental confessions on the night we'd run into Vidaldus. Did he like me? He must do. At least a little. Maybe…

Gajeel-kun used my coat to yank me back roughly. "What the fuck are you thinking of?" He demanded in a low growl. I snapped out of my thoughts. We were standing in the shadows across from a busy bar. Our safe arrival was not through any effort on my part. In fact, I'd almost blown our cover by walking directly into the midst of Death's Head Caucus' temporary base.

"Nothing," I replied quickly. Too quickly. Gajeel-kun frowned at me and released my coat. I turned away from him, embarrassed.

From the ruckus going on across the street it sounded like business was brisk despite it being Sunday night. "He won't be here," Gajeel said his gruff tone hinting at his continuing annoyance with me.

I had to agree. The place was crawling with regular Death's Head Caucus members so if Trinity Raven were sticking to their _modus operandi_ they'd be somewhere completely different. I let out a slow breath. "Where then?"

"Where would you go?"

"Juvia?"

"With the other three."

Oh. Where would the Element 4 go if Jose had sent us out like this. It wasn't difficult to answer. "Not too far away but quieter. Somewhere we could come and go without all this noise." I thought for a moment, mapping out the unfamiliar town in my head. "That way," I said pointing further west. "Closer to the main road out of town."

"Then that's where they are. Let's take the bikes."

Gajeel-kun's attitude displayed a total lack of doubt but I felt less certain when we rode past nothing but quiet homes and darkened warehouses. I was envious of the sleeping town just as I'd been jealous of my peaceful friends. While I had plenty of motivation to finish things with Vidaldus, I had plenty more reservations about willingly putting myself back in this dark world. Having walked in the light, the shadows no longer appealed to me. On top of that, I felt like a fake. I played at being Ame onna. I wasn't really her. I ignored the tiny voice that said I always would be her. I wasn't cold. I loved like I'd never thought I could. Was that such a weakness? I tried to shake the thoughts off. They were messing with my confidence.

The only building with any potential in the direction I'd chosen was a tasteless strip club tucked away right at the edge of town. I wrinkled my nose at the pink and red neon lights. "Definitely not."

"Maybe you wouldn't but an idiot who drugs women in clubs?"

Touché. "Ikagura won't be here." From what the Phoenix Grave guy had told us about the other two members of Trinity Raven, Ikagura sounded like a wannabe princess albeit one that could probably rival Erza when it came to skill. If I wouldn't be seen dead here then she wouldn't either.

Gajeel-kun shrugged, "Better odds for us. Let's check it out."

I held back a comment on what Levy would think. She would never know and it's not like Gajeel-kun was there for the show. We went in the back door, leaving the two security guards unconscious but breathing. Half dressed women filled the narrow corridor and spilled out of two dressing rooms. The air was thick with perfume, glitter and a subtle tension. Something was off. They gave us looks filled with suspicion and mistrust but no one challenged us. That was a statement of itself. There were no affronted outcries because they'd become use to the invasion of privacy. Some other gang was using this place but which one?

At the end of the hallway, Gajeel scanned the shadowy interior of the club, ignoring the women who had to squeeze past his large frame. I kept my eyes on the back door and resisted the urge to fidget. I was so unreasonably restless tonight. My usual sense of composure evaded me and the harder I chased it, the faster it fled from me.

"No one I recognise. At least five people who seem out of place." Gajeel shrugged, "Upstairs?"

I leaned around him and a woman hissed in annoyance as we virtually blocked the entire doorway. The interior lighting was terrible. All muted shadows and badly placed spotlights. I couldn't help glancing at the stage but just as quickly looked away. That didn't stop a blush from creeping up my face as a particular memory of Totomaru came to me. Specifically what Gray-sama would think of some of the things I'd learned from Totomaru. Would he like that? For all his promiscuity, Gray-sama struck me as being rather straight laced. Jeez, why was I thinking about _that _now? Or at all. That was seriously messed up.

It took me a minute to find the stairs Gajeel-kun was talking about. They were right on the other side of the building and framed by heavy red curtains. No less than three security guys kept a careful watch over who came and went. Which mostly seemed to be couples. I guess the 'look but don't touch' rule only applied down here. Not that surprising. It wouldn't be the first strip club that fronted for a brothel.

"Gajeel-kun and Juvia cannot just waltz upstairs." It would be the farthest thing from subtle. In fact, it would probably cause a scene of epic proportions and in my brief scan of the room I'd seen the same people Gajeel suspected were gang members. You could always tell who was, if you knew what to look for.

"No," Gajeel's arm across my shoulders forced me to twist further around him, "We can use those stairs."

The stairs were so narrow as to be almost invisible. If that exact same type of hidden staircase hadn't been a favourite in Jose's hideouts we probably would have missed it. Such things were intended for only those who already knew they were there. Seems like fortune was on our side again tonight. I went first, taking Gajeel-kun's hand in the process. The trick to sneaking into places was to not sneak at all. Nothing was more suspicious than someone trying way too hard to be unseen. If we skulked along the back wall security would notice in a heartbeat. A girl confidently pulling a guy upstairs in this place? No one even batted an eye in our direction.

The stairs lead to a small landing. I paused, orientating myself in case we had to make a hasty retreat. This new hallway led in both directions with numbered doors along both sides. The steady beat of the music bled through the floor. Muted, it couldn't quite mask the other sounds that slipped from behind the closed doors. Definitely a brothel. I raised an eyebrow at Gajeel. I really didn't want to have to check all of these rooms. I'd had my fair share of sexual experiences, good and bad, but I resented the idea of being scarred for life by other people's ideas of a good time. "Gajeel-"

An almighty crash interrupted what I wanted to say. Instinct had Gajeel-kun and I drawing back into the shadows. A door slammed at the far end of the hallway. The light retreating footsteps and soft tones of apology were unmistakeably feminine. The girl was of no consequence. The voice of the man stole my attention. "They wouldn't serve this crap in the inner circles of hell!" an all too familiar voice snarled. Something smashed. The fragile tinkling sound hinted at a broken bowl or plate. "Bring me something else and be quick about it." The door slammed again.

Target located.

We waited on the landing for a minute but the girl must have used the other stairs. A quick glance confirmed the hallway was empty. We made our move. The right door was obvious. Sharp fragments of blue china covered the floor outside it and some kind of creamy soup slid down the wall. A growing puddle of it stained the carpet. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

The room was small, dominated by a bed and little else in the way of furniture. A single bare light bulb continued the building's trend for terrible lighting. Vidaldus lay propped up on the bed. His arm was in a sling and a bag of ice rested on his shoulder. I felt a sliver of vindication. Served the bastard right. The moment of gloating was brief. My brain automatically searched for other opponents, identified the lack of alternative exits, made note of all the potential weapons the room held as well as what might get in my way.

All the little details slotted into place. Vidaldus was alone, injured and judging by the scattering of wine bottles and medication boxes on the floor probably drugged up on a noxious cocktail of alcohol and pain killers. Perhaps I had some good karma due. Gajeel-kun saw everything I did and stepped back into the hallway, closing the door behind him with a soft thump. I wouldn't need his help and if anyone showed up he'd either handle it or alert me to the need for a quick change of plan.

"Took you long enough," Vidaldus grumbled. He had his eyes shut, good hand pressing the bag of ice firmly to his shoulder.

"Gomenasai," I said softly, "Juvia will have to disappoint you."

His eyes snapped open. If Vidaldus was surprised, he hid it well. A wicked grin appeared on his face, suggesting a casualness I was certain he couldn't be feeling. With a careless motion he let the ice fall to the ground, "Ame onna, what a pleasant surprise. Come to join me in hell?"

"No." I tugged the collar of my coat down an inch, "Juvia wants to return the necklace you gave her. With interest."

His gaze came to rest upon the bruise he'd left across my neck. "There's nothing worse than unfinished business."

I didn't move as he tore the sling off. I watched him form a fist and tense the muscles in his injured arm. His face remained blank, no twitch indicated any pain. He must be in agony though. I knew a dislocated shoulder took several weeks to heal. The day after was way too soon for him to be taking me on. I felt no sympathy. I wouldn't be holding back for any reason.

Vidaldus got to his feet, "I think I'll enjoy this."

Confidence, fake or otherwise, oozed from him. Let's see if he still felt that way five minutes from now. We moved at the same time. His fist whistled past my face as I dodged and aimed for his shoulder. It was a given that I would go after his weak spot. He was prepared for that, twisting away from me before I could finish the move. Which was why he was caught completely off guard when I pulled that punch and landed a solid strike to the side of his head with my opposite hand. I swiped his feet from under him but he lashed out, already recovering from the stunning blow. His kick found its mark and my knee buckled. Without using his hands he flipped back to standing and I sprang back from him.

We eyed each other warily. That brief exchange had let me know that, even injured, Vidaldus would not go down easily. My pulse thundered in my ears. A weird experience for me. I still hadn't found that sense of cold detachment I usually fought with. I didn't have time to find it now. Vidaldus had chosen to go on the offensive. I blocked a flurry of punches, satisfied that his injured arm was significantly weaker than the other. He might as well have been fighting with one arm tied behind his back.

He did have one advantage I hadn't fully anticipated but should have suspected would come into play with how scatterbrained I'd been in the hours leading up to this. Vidaldus did this every day. Living a life I'd left behind. I was still in shape but I hadn't fought anyone in months. The size of the room forced us into close proximity. There was no space for a strategic retreat. Each move he tried required a lightning fast reaction on my part. I had no time to think yet that's exactly what I was doing. Calculating each move before I did it. Vidaldus fought on autopilot. Muscle memory gained through near constant fights made him faster than me. My reflexes were slower, hampered by my stupid brain overriding what my body knew was the right move to make.

Because every punch I threw felt like I was losing myself a little more.

I needed to be Ame onna tonight. I'd assured myself a million times that it would be fine. It wasn't. I couldn't slip into my old skin like I'd slipped into my old clothes. I wanted to be anywhere but here. And it showed.

Vidaldus pressed me and a fight I should have won with ease started looking like one I would lose if I wasn't careful. I willed myself to move faster. A well aimed jab at Vidaldus kidneys had him doubling over. I was conscious of the time ticking by. Every minute was another chance for someone to find us out. I rushed to end it. Big mistake. As I skirted the edge of the bed I stepped on something slippery and cold. The damn ice. My arms flailed as I desperately tried to keep my balance. Not one to miss a chance, Vidaldus's open palm slammed into my chest, knocking the wind out of my lungs and changing my slow fall into a brutal collision with the hard floor. Stars exploded in my head. An innate sense of self-preservation was all that saved me. I rolled away from him and his shout of triumph turned into a howl of pain as the foot he'd been aiming at my side hit the bed frame instead.

"Bitch, you'll pay for that," he snarled at me, even as he favoured his injured foot.

I didn't reply. I couldn't. There wasn't enough air in my lungs to form a single word much less a proper sentence. My vision flickered. Shit. I clambered to my feet even as the room shifted unnaturally around me. At least my luck was holding good. If Vidaldus has been in better shape he could have taken advantage of my temporary confusion but he needed the breather just as much, if not more, than I did.

Unfortunately, Vidaldus couldn't seem to help filling the lull in our physical fight with a war of words. He insulted me, Gajeel-kun and Phantom Lord with a level of venom intended to rile me. I let it roll over my head, barely registering the vulgar comments. I needed oxygen and if the room would stay still that'd be great. Everything else was secondary right now.

"Once I finish with you I'll pay that friend of yours a visit. I owe him a taste of hell for this," he gestured angrily at his black eye.

The world crystallised into startling clarity as I processed his words. I knew exactly who had given Vidaldus that. Gray-sama. A tremor swept up my spine, erasing the pain and leaving cold fury in its wake. No one threatened my Gray-sama. I made my move. Slamming into Vidaldus with a speed that would have surprised even me if I'd paused to think about it. I wasn't thinking now. I'd found my inner calm, not in cold distance, but in all too personal rage.

My hands closed around his neck. As promised he'd have a pretty necklace bruise to match mine. His fingers clawed at my face, his longer reach making this position unfavourable to me. I changed tact, gripping his wrist and twisting hard as I ducked around him. I had all the leverage I wanted to this time and when his shoulder popped it was entirely intentional. He screamed but I kept twisting. Bones crunched with a sickening sound. I planted a foot in the small of his back and kicked hard. He went to his knees, gasping. "Stay away from Juvia. Stay away from Magnolia. If you even breathe Juvia's name, Juvia will find you." I yanked his arm higher and fought back the urge to demand he stay away from Gray-sama.

"Gajeel." I'd barely finished calling him and he was there. "Knife," I snapped and he handed it over without a word. "Hold him."

I wrapped a hunk of Vidaldus's glossy black hair around my hand, pulled it taunt and sliced. Long strands fell all over the floor as I hacked roughly. I didn't stop until nothing but uneven stubble remained. Patches of his bare scalp gleamed under the light. Blood trickled down his neck where I'd nicked his ear. I moved to stand in front of him and forced his chin up, "This is your only warning. Remember it." My punch broke his nose and I watched his eyes roll up as he slumped, unconscious, to the ground.

I strode from the room, adrenaline and barely contained rage still simmering in my blood. I walked right over the prone bodies of two guys who'd been unfortunate enough to come investigate the noise and found Gajeel-kun waiting for them. Women and their clients in various stages of undress gaped at us as we walked down the hall. We reached the end and I turned. "Mention us and you'll be next," I spoke quietly yet the words carried down the hall with all the weight and damage of a flash flood. People shrunk back into the rooms. I didn't think we'd have to come back.

Outside the rain had transformed into a deluge. A bolt of lightning split the sky followed within a second by a roaring clap of thunder. We were right at the centre of the storm. I barely noticed. I got on my bike and raced off. If it'd been dangerous riding before, it was suicidal now with the deep pools of water covering the road and visibility reduced to almost zero. Even so, I kept going. The cold fury burning me needed an outlet.

When it left me, it went as suddenly as it came. My bike wobbled. I had to stop before I crashed and gave myself a nasty case of road rash or something worse. Gajeel-kun stayed silent beside me, not mentioning how my hands shook or the fact that some of the water on my face was tears.

Turns out I did have a little bit of the original Ame onna inside me after all. She just responded to different triggers than before. I couldn't say I was pleased.

* * *

_Monday_

I tapped my pencil against my chemistry book. Across the table from me Natsu and Lucy both worked through the chemistry practice questions. Lucy silently, Natsu with the occasional sigh. I glanced right. Erza had chosen to sit by herself and stare out the library window. Clearly, she wasn't revising. Which meant there was no change in what she'd been doing any time I glanced her way in the last hour. I looked left. Jellal sat at the end of our table. Not quite so far distance wise as Erza but definitely as lost in his thoughts as she was. I didn't want to fucking know but clearly the shit had truly hit the fan where those two were concerned. I shook my head but didn't worry about it. They'd sort it out probably before the day was over anyway. Plus they'd made it abundantly clear yesterday that my opinions were irrelevant.

I glanced at the spot where Levy had been sitting. She'd compulsively checked her phone all morning then disappeared the moment it buzzed. She hadn't even bothered to pack all her stuff away. Just up and left. No explanation, nothing. Much like the other two obvious missing people of our study group.

Gajeel and Juvia hadn't even bothered to turn up.

Gajeel I could understand. Or to be more honest, I didn't give a damn if he showed up or not. Juvia though… I'd made plans with her. For the first time ever. Okay, it was just studying and in a group at that but still that shit should have meant something to her. Here I was busting my ass to be a nice guy and make up for being a jerk before and the bitch went and stood me up. A soft growl slipped from my lips and the pencil snapped between my fingers.

I hated when girls played these stupid little games. She thought I owed her and maybe I did. Still, I wasn't a fucking lapdog. It wasn't sit, roll over, obey, good boy. Fuck no. If she thought I was going to beg for the pleasure of her company she had another thing coming. Agitated, I went to remove my shirt only to find it already crumpled on the floor. I scowled, thinking of the t-shirt I'd ripped to shreds just to clean her up after she'd fallen all over the fucking place on Saturday night. Girl had ruined my weekend big time. Now she was screwing over Monday as well. Give a girl an inch and she'd take a fucking mile.

I snapped the book shut. "I'm leaving." I refused to become a basket case over some girl.

Natsu and Lucy looked up in surprise. "Already? It's only two thirty," Lucy said after a quick check of her watch.

I shovelled all my books and papers into my bag. "Whatever. I've had enough."

"Maybe you need a break," Lucy twirled some of her hair around her index finger, "I think quite a few of us aren't feeling it today."

What a statement of the obvious that was. An insidious thought struck me and I left my bag on the seat. "I'll go for a walk then." I needed to clear my head and get some answers. If Juvia wanted to play games, we could play fucking games. She better not be thinking I'd go easy on her. Rough start be damned. Switching our relationship up clearly wouldn't go at all smoothly if we didn't lay down some ground rules. So I was going to find her and make sure she understand the rules of engagement. Namely, don't fuck me around. Ever.


	18. All About Levy

_A/N: Fighting Fate officially has more reviews than Confession Confusion! A big thank you to all my reviewers. _

_The 'kiss and tell' moment is from Chapter Six - Mean Girls Part II._

_I do not own Fairy Tail_

_Chapter Seventeen - All About Levy_

Despite my instance that Juvia wouldn't, or really shouldn't, annoy me. She did. A lot. Not that this particular sensation was new. Juvia had been irritating me pretty much from the moment we bumped into each other on the first day of school. I found the previous reasons easier to stomach than this one. The notion of her standing me up to do Mavis knows what riled me to the point of complete distraction. Even worse, I knew it shouldn't. I should have felt relieved that she'd already let me off the hook from that ridiculous deal I'd made with her. Instead, her absence set me on edge. I marched to the girl's dorm, determined to get some kind of explanation.

"Juvia isn't home," Laki said placidly when I demanded that Juvia come to the door.

"Where the devil is she then?"

Laki's eyebrows crept up. Damn it all. I'd been getting that look from far too many people lately. Too late to back down. I kept my expression blank and stared back at Laki.

"Well, she wasn't at breakfast and I don't remember seeing her at dinner last night. Hmm… Oh! I think Levy said she was with Gajeel."

"All night?" I struggled to maintain a neutral expression. What the hell?

Laki shrugged, "Maybe. I don't know. She could have come home without me noticing. It's not like we keep tabs on each other."

It hadn't occurred to me that Gajeel and Juvia might be together. They were pretty tight so it was dumb on my part not to have made the connection sooner. Still, _all night? _What's a guy with a girlfriend doing spending all night with another girl? It didn't matter if you'd been best friends for ten years, every guy knew girls be getting crazy jealous over things like that. I mean, some of the girls I'd been with for _one_ night got all weird when they saw me flirting with someone new.

Levy and Gajeel had been dating… I cast about vaguely for the right amount of time and realised I had absolutely no idea when they'd gotten together. November-ish? Whatever. Suffice to say, it'd been awhile. I doubted Levy was under any misinterpretations of the relationship between Gajeel and Juvia. Gajeel and Juvia were friends. Their behaviour was a little weird though. Sometimes they acted like total strangers, then they flipped things up and did the whole silent communication thing. Gajeel never pulled the usual 'she's like a sister to me' crap and the honorific Juvia add to Gajeel's name was downright odd. Why she lauded me as Gray-_sama_ when her best friend was Gajeel-_kun _was an incomprehensible mystery. It didn't make any sense. It only made characterising their relationship that much harder.

I was cool with Lucy, Erza and half a dozen other girls I'd managed to avoid sleeping with but we weren't super close. Not like Gajeel and Juvia were. The only other ridiculously close 'just friends' relationship I knew of was Jellal and Erza. Who happened to be a terrible example. They singlehandedly proved the saying that there was no such thing as a guy and girl being _just _friends. Of course if Jellal and Erza were a ten on the flirtation scale, Gajeel and Juvia were a minus twenty. There was nothing there and Levy was not the type to get jealous over nothing.

But out _all night_ while bae stayed home? Really? It was strange to say the least and it also wasn't necessarily true. I had to find out the truth. "Alright, thanks," I said to Laki.

Confusion was taking up some of the space that'd previously been filled with an irrational anger. Juvia would probably prefer to lose an arm rather than skip out on a "date" with me. Not that it was a real date but that was beside the point. The chick was full crazy about me. She'd been gagging for a chance like this all year. Something big must have happened. Confusion edged a little further towards concern. A suspicious thought whispered to me but I ignored it for the moment. Gajeel wouldn't be _that _stupid.

I slipped around the back of the dorm and took a guess at which room was Juvia's. The girls dorm had a porch that wrapped around the entire front and one side of the building. There was also a smaller back porch that only spanned one third of the building. The wooden structures gave way to flowerbeds and planters for the remainder of the building perimeter. As luck would have it, I got it wrong twice before identifying the right window. Juvia's room was slightly beyond the edge of the back porch. The few feet of height that the porch added on to the house meant I had reach up to grasp the windowsill. At least the sash was raised and it was easy for me to get in. I almost wished I hadn't. Juvia's room was impeccably neat just like before. Every book in place, bed made, the single picture of me perfectly straight on the wall. And her bedside lamp was on.

Wide open window, curtains not quite closed yet not fully open either, subtle light left on.

I'd snuck out of Grace and Julian's home often enough to read the signs. Juvia had gone out last night and had planned to come back, ergo the light being left on so she wouldn't have to fumble around in the darkness and wake up the whole dorm. Except she clearly hadn't come home. I swore softly under my breath. She really had been out all night with Gajeel. The suspicious whisper turned into an overwhelming shout.

_"Do we know this guy?"_

_"We'll take things from here."_

_"Drop it, Fullbuster. We got this."_

All Gajeel's words from yesterday. We, we, we. Gajeel _and _Juvia. I was all for beating the shit out of the guy who'd drugged Juvia. In fact, I'd already talked to Natsu about it this morning. We had plans. Plans Gajeel could have been a part of if he wasn't so damn antisocial. What those plans did not include was taking Juvia along with us. Not for all the jewels in the world. Mavis above, what the fuck was Gajeel thinking? My anger came roaring back. This time with a whole new target.

The visit to the girls dorm had been an informative mistake. The boys dorm was where I needed to be right now.

* * *

Gajeel-kun's sheets smelled like the washing powder we used at the girls dorm. Either the boys dorm used the same brand or Levy was doing his laundry. I found the idea amusing but couldn't laugh. I had the most god awful headache. Not surprising considering how things had slipped so far downhill last night. Then again it was incontestable that this past weekend had been extremely bad on almost all accounts. I pressed a little closer to Gajeel's solid warmth. "Oi, don't cuddle me," he grumbled but didn't shift away.

"Juvia's not cuddling Gajeel-kun." We were lying back to back on his bed. I had only the vaguest idea as to how I'd gotten here. My minor personality crisis last night had been interrupted by the unavoidable reality of our situation. We'd been too close to the scene of the crime for comfort. So I'd went to turn the key for my bike... And missed completely. I'd blamed the blurring of my vision on the rain and tried again. And missed again. At which point Gajeel had leaned over and asked me what was wrong.

_"Juvia is fine." Was that my voice slurring like that?_

_"No, you're not. Are you dizzy?"_

_I tried to nod then thought better of it when the whole world tilted."Yeah."_

_"Did you hit your head? Juvia? Hey, answer me."_

_I would have except my priority was to jump off my bike and throw up in the bushes on the side of the road. _

_Gajeel's warm hands steadied me once I stood up. He stared into my eyes then declared with all the certainty of a fully qualified doctor, "You have a concussion."_

Things had gone a bit crazy after that. We both knew we had to get out of the area but Gajeel insisted I couldn't ride alone and I was adamant I couldn't leave my bike behind. It was way too identifiable. Cue massive argument in the middle of a thunder storm. Not the best moment in our friendship. As a sort of compromise we'd rode double on his bike to a farm we had passed. Gajeel-kun left on foot to retrieve my bike and I passed out in the hay. I'd woken up two hours later, shivering but able to see straight. So we'd rode back to Magnolia. It took forever because Gajeel kept insisting that we stop and rest. He kept asking stupid questions like '_Do you know where you are?_'. It was very annoying but I knew he was only checking I hadn't done serious harm to my brain. Worst case scenario, the fall Vidaldus had helped me take could have resulted in brain swelling or even a bleed. A concussion wasn't called a minor traumatic brain injury for no reason.

When we'd dropped my bike back at the garage it'd been edging towards dawn. Gajeel-kun had refused to take me home. He hadn't wanted to leave me alone. By then my head was throbbing and I hadn't really cared where we went as long as there was a bed there. I'd fallen asleep almost before my head hit the pillow. The last thing I remember saying to Gajeel-kun was "Wake Juvia up at eight." The amount of sleep I'd get would be nowhere near enough to function properly yet I didn't mind. I wouldn't miss my study date with Gray-sama for anything. It was my reward for all the upset I'd been through. If I couldn't help falling asleep during the day maybe I'd be lucky enough to rest my head on Gray-sama's shoulder. A girl could dream right?

I shifted my feet and pressed them against Gajeel-kun's much warmer calves. That, though, was a step too far. He rolled away, sat up and even in the gloomy darkness I knew he was glaring down at me. "The only girl I'll tolerate putting her cold feet on me is Levy."

"Well, that's good to know." Gajeel-kun's room was in darkness but the voice was unmistakable. The door swung open quietly and for a second Levy's small form was a silhouette in the doorway. The room plunged back into shadow with an ominous click of the door. No one said anything for a long moment then Gajeel-kun let out a breath, "I told you not to come."

"I was worried. Is that Juvia? I'm turning on the light."

"No, don't." Gajeel-kun's command came a split second too late.

The light snapped on, blinding me. The concussion made me overly sensitive to light. I shut my eyes. Sparks continued to glitter even behind my eyelids. I threw my forearm over my eyes and tried to roll away from the incessant brightness. The covers came with me and I gratefully pulled them over my head.

"What," said Levy in a tone I'd never heard her use before, "Is Juvia doing in your bed _naked_?"

"Turn off the goddamn light Levy. You're hurting her eyes. And she's not naked." Rough tugs on the covers put an end to the cold draft I'd felt against the back of my bare legs. Cocooned in the covers, I ran a hand over my body to check what I was wearing. A t-shirt, presumably Gajeel's, and my panties. That's it. I didn't even have a bra on. Gajeel must have taken off my wet clothes at some point. The thought didn't make me blush. After living together for so long there wasn't much of me he hadn't seen before.

"Fine! What is Juvia doing in your bed _practically _naked?"

"Are we really going to do this? Come on Levy. It's Juvia."

"That is such a bullshit excuse! I spent all night worrying about you... "

"Levy."

"And when you finally come home I only get a brief text message. Not even a phone call. A _text message!_"

"Levy."

"Do you have any idea how stressed I've been?"

Gajeel-kun tried for the third time to interupt Levy's tirade, "Levy!"

"You could have been hurt! Or lying unconscious in a gutter!"

"Please be quiet," I mumbled into the pillow. Levy's tones bordered on hysterical which only served to make my headache worse.

"Stop yelling before the whole dorm hears you," Gajeel-kun added with a hiss. The bed shifted as he got up. A moment later the light flicked off.

"I was going insane thinking up all these terrible scenarios but I never once thought you'd be snuggling with another girl!" Levy sucked in a huge breath which hinted that she wasn't anywhere near done.

She didn't continue though. As the abrupt silence stretched, I couldn't resist peeking out of the covers hoping Gajeel-kun hadn't knocked his girlfriend unconscious to shut her up.

Gajeel and Levy were kissing. Of course. That was a much better way to keep someone quiet. He had to stoop to reach her and I reckoned even then she had to tiptoe to get her arms around his neck. I ducked back under the covers. Levy was the only person closer to Gajeel-kun than me. She wasn't the jealous type which was a relief. I wouldn't have been able to deal with anyone who didn't understand that I wasn't a threat. Well not _that _kind of threat.

I felt no physical attraction to Gajeel-kun whatsoever and the feeling was resoundingly mutual. If Gajeel-kun had been the tiniest bit interested in me when we first met things would never have worked out between us. He would have scared me away within a week. It was his complete disinterest in me as a girl that meant I was comfortable around him while I'd been trying to get over what had happened with Bora. He'd been the exception for a long time. It was only after Totomaru that I'd stopped freaking out every time a guy tried to touch me.

The bed dipped and I pulled the covers down under my chin. Gajeel-kun had reclaimed his place on the bed, this time with Levy on his lap. "Levy-san, Juvia apologies for not being properly dressed."

"No, I apologise for freaking out. I had a…"

"Psycho girlfriend moment," Gajeel supplied.

Levy elbowed him. "I think I was pretty calm given the circumstances! Any other girl would have been threatening to dump you by now."

I had to agree. I was after all wearing next to nothing in her boyfriend's bed. All I had to do to find an example of a 'psycho girlfriend' was look at myself. I wasn't anywhere close to being Gray-sama's girlfriend and all my love rivals made me so unbelievably angry. If I hadn't been as committed to turning my life around as I was to my new found love I probably would have beat the crap out of every girl that even looked at Gray-sama. A few of them still tempted me but I held back. Mostly.

"Levy-san, Juvia and Gajeel-kun would never be that way."

"I know that. It was just… An instant reaction. Sorry. I still have questions though."

Her outburst had already revealed that she knew far more about what was going on than I had previously suspected. What had Gajeel-kun actually told her? Surely not everything about us. Definitely not about Phantom Lord. That kind of information was dangerous. I certainly would not have been casually slinging that name around. Not even to Gray-sama. Gajeel had probably made up a completely fake story. Then again, he wouldn't have flat out lied to Levy. The same way that I skimmed around the truth with Gray-sama. How complicated. Half-truths coated our past, obscuring the brutal realties that were better left hidden. I decided to keep my mouth shut until I knew for sure what Levy-san knew and how much more Gajeel-kun wanted to tell her.

"So what happened? Did you find the guy who drugged Juvia? By the way, I can't believe you didn't tell me about that Juvia. Are you hurt? Where are Juvia's clothes? Why does the light have to be off?"

"Little one, at least let us answer," Gajeel said with a muted sigh.

I barely managed to disguise a grin as a yawn. _Little one. _As pet names go, that was seriously way up there on the kawaii scale. Especially since it was Gajeel-kun saying it. It was also kind of twisted. I was pretty sure Gajeel-kun used to call Levy 'shorty' or 'shrimp' and many other disparaging things related to her height as an insult back when they were practically enemies. Crazy how they were so damn cute together now. I'd always thought love had to be explosive. A huge wave of emotion that would sweep you off your feet. At least that was how it'd felt when I fell for Gray-sama and like a tsunami those feelings seemed to leave nothing but destruction in their wake. Levy and Gajeel-kun weren't like that. Their love was a soft, gentle thing. A deep, still lake. There was nothing showy or flashy. No sudden love story. It'd sort of just happened, as naturally as breathing.

I was happy for Gajeel-kun though I'd never tell him that. He'd hate it. So I kept my opinion to myself and my expression neutral even as Levy leaned back against his chest. I was getting a rarely seen glimpse at the relationship they had and didn't want to make them uncomfortable by gushing about such a small display of affection.

"We found him. He won't bother Juvia again. Her clothes were wet. Worrying was unnecessary," Gajeel said dismissively.

Typical of him to be economic with words to the point of it being ridiculous. I couldn't leave it at that. "Juvia didn't want anyone to worry. It wasn't a big deal."

"How can I not worry? Erza would go kamikaze if she found out about this. Though she's not really herself right now. I don't understand why you had to beat him up in the first place."

"He drugged Juvia."

"And Gray saved her," Levy insisted, "The whole thing was over."

As I thought. A half-truth. Levy knew about Saturday night but not that Vidaldus was linked with our past. Unfortunately, Levy was very intelligent. She would pick apart anything that didn't make sense.

"It's a guy thing."

"Gajeel!" Levy sounded exasperated but she knew when to quit. Even she couldn't contend with 'male logic'. Or illogic depending on which gender was debating the wisdom of it. "I don't like the idea of you fighting," Levy continued, her voice dropping to a whisper, "You told me that was in the past."

I almost bit my tongue. Shit. Maybe she did know.

"I fight at the dojo every week."

"That's different. The dojo has rules. It teaches honour and respect alongside strength. Not a random, no hold street brawl. No one should have to get into a fist fight every time they step through the school gates. I can't believe you used to live like that." Levy reached a hand back to stroke along Gajeel's jaw.

I let out a slow breath into the quiet. She'd really scared me but there was nothing about the reputation of our old school that wasn't common knowledge. I had to give Gajeel-kun some credit. It was enough of the truth to be plausible yet not enough to give away the extent of our involvement in the shadowy underworld most people knew nothing of.

"Life can't be all sunshine and roses," Gajeel said.

"I know but some things are too much."

Wasn't that the truth. True to the trend amongst our friends, Levy was an orphan. Her parents, both doctors, had travelled abroad to help out with a rare epidemic. They'd saved many lives but lost their own leaving eleven year old Levy behind. She'd lived at Fairy Heights ever since. Although she rarely mentioned them their legacy was clear. Levy devoured books and was able to recall a phenomenal amount of information. Her IQ was off the charts. She'd probably find a cure for cancer or invent an amazing piece of technology in the future. Which reminded me…

"Levy-san, what are we studying today?"

Levy blinked for a moment. "You mean the study group?"

"Yes," I said and felt heat rush to my cheeks. I couldn't wait to spend all day with Gray-sama. Surprisingly, I wasn't tired at all and I hoped a few pain killers would get rid of this fierce headache.

"When I left everyone was doing Chemistry. I don't think I was a lot of help this morning. I was too distracted."

I nodded sagely then sucked in a short gasp of air, "This morning? What time is it?"

Levy shrugged, "It was almost two when I left the library."

Two o'clock in the afternoon. Oh my God. I snapped upright, ignored the increasing throb behind my eyes and threw the covers off. "Gray-sama is going to be so mad at Juvia!"

Gajeel-kun's hand on my shoulder forced me back down onto the bed, "Lie still before you hurt yourself."

"Juvia has to go. Gajeel-kun knows how long Juvia has been waiting for this." Forever. Literally. Okay, not literally but long enough for it to feel like forever. I'd already wasted half the day. I wouldn't waste a second more. I knocked his hand aside and finished kicking the covers down to the end of the bed.

"Levy." Gajeel-kun all but growled her name. She scrambled off his lap and backed away. Smart girl. This time Gajeel put both hands on my shoulders and used his weight to force me to lie flat. "Stay down or I will make you."

My hands curled reflexively around his wrists, "Juvia would love to see Gajeel-kun try."

Neither threat was empty. We'd fought each other seriously once and only once. It'd been a messy experience albeit one necessary for my progression up the ranks of Phantom Lord. From training together, I knew Gajeel's strengths and weaknesses and he knew mine. That had all changed when we moved to Magnolia. Gajeel-kun had plenty of sparing partners at the dojo and I kept fit mostly by swimming. We had no reason to use each other as human punching bags. Usually. But I'd gladly kick his ass from here into tomorrow if he tried to keep me away from Gray-sama.

I tensed muscles that were still sore from yesterday and felt the subtle responding shift of power from Gajeel-kun. "Don't do this Juvia. You need to rest," is what Gajeel said even as his body language screamed a blatant challenge at me.

"Let go. Juvia will only ask once." The tension between us thickened, sharp and dangerous.

"So it's true," Levy said from the darkness beyond Gajeel-kun's shoulder, "Juvia really is as strong as you." Then she flicked on the light.

Immediately my hands released Gajeel to fly up and cover my eyes, "Levy-san, that's cheating!"

Levy was unrepentant. "We've put up with you mooning over Gray all year. Gajeel thinks it's ridiculous but he never says anything to stop you. He's only doing it now because you're obviously hurt. What's wrong?"

"Turn out the light," I groaned at the same time that Gajeel said, "Concussion. She'll be fine."

"And why wasn't that little sliver of information give to me when I specifically asked if either of you were hurt? Do I even want to know how that happened? Not that I'll ever get the whole truth. No matter what I ask and the answers you give, I always feel like I'm standing on the edge of where you and Juvia are."

Mercifully the light went off and I lay still waiting for the glittering sparkles to disappear again. Damn Levy-san and Gajeel-kun for ganging up on me. How was I supposed to get out of this room and make it to Gray-sama? My musings distracted me so I was utterly unprepared for Gajeel-kun's answer to Levy's statement.

"Because we stand in the dark."

It was a close admission to the truth. We'd both done things we weren't proud of. Illegal things, questionable things, morally wrong things. We had juvenile criminal records. Gajeel-kun's long enough to be practically unbelievable. Mine wasn't exactly pretty either. Thankfully they'd been sealed when we turned eighteen and as long as we kept out of trouble that's how they would stay. I hadn't really thought about it last night but if we'd been caught the consequences would have been disastrous. I let my hands fall onto the bed. What would Gray-sama think if he knew even half of what Levy did? The thought made my stomach roll.

I'd stumbled yesterday, almost fallen over my misgivings. Yet when push came to shove, Ame Onna had appeared right on schedule to beat and humiliate Vidaldus. She was an inseparable part of me. I could be sweet, kind, loving but I'd never be innocent. I'd seen too much, done too much. Walked where others feared to tread. Gajeel-kun had too. The tattoo on my back felt like it was burning. Not a mark of pride but one of shame.

"Where you are is where I should be. Let me stand beside you," Levy's words were softly spoken. That didn't prevent them from carrying a strong sense of conviction. She loved my best friend. Flaws and all. I liked her a little more because she wasn't afraid to admit it. If only I could imagine Gray-sama saying the same sort of thing. Brushing off my past like it was of no consequence. It would be nice yet nothing like that would ever happen if I didn't make it out of this bed today.

"No." Gajeel-kun's straightforward denial was harsh and Levy made a small sound somewhere between a gasp and a cough. "Stay where you are, Levy. Maybe one day I'll make it to you."

Damn. I had to re-evaluate exactly what it was a knew about the changes in Gajeel over the last year. Where'd he pull that smooth line from? Gajeel-kun and Levy being open about their relationship was incredibly rare but I couldn't dwell on it. While Gajeel was distracted, I sat up and scooted my way to the edge of the bed. Each movement made my brain feel like it was being bounced around inside my skull. My toes had barely brushed the carpet when I felt Gajeel-kun looming over me.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Gajeel-kun can't stop Juvia." Not without us both ending up bruised and probably bloodied too. At least that's how it would have been under normal circumstances. Levy still lingered by the light switch putting me at a distinct disadvantage. It was the most bizarre two against one situation I'd ever been in. We'd reached a rare impasse where neither of us would back down yet we didn't truly want to take things to the next level either.

"I think you should stay in bed Juvia," Levy said using a coaxing tone, "You can't even handle a single light. How will you go outside in the middle of the afternoon sun? Gray probably didn't even notice that you weren't-" Levy caught herself, "Sorry. I mean to say you can always see him tomorrow when you're feeling better."

As if something like a little light sensitivity and a headache was enough to persuade me that seeing Gray-sama wasn't worth it. He was worth everything to me. I'd find a pair of sunglasses somewhere and put up with the pain. As for Levy's nearly vocalised assumption that Gray-sama wouldn't miss me, I wasn't offended. I knew the truth of how much things had changed over a single weekend. "Gray-sama and Juvia..." I trailed off. Gray-sama had already warned me once that he didn't like girls who talked a lot. I'd gotten that message loud and clear before he teased me with all those almost kisses. I blushed at the memory. Did this count? Most likely he wouldn't be best pleased with me shouting it out to everyone that we had a study date. I chewed on my bottom lip. Why had he said that to me when he dragged me into that storage cupboard a few days ago? It wasn't a secret that he slept around so what was with the don't kiss and tell instructions? I'd already told Gajeel-kun but he was my best friend so didn't count.

I settled with a firm, "Juvia has to see Gray-sama. Today." I'd probably already messed up things with Gray-sama by missing half the day. I didn't want to make the situation any worse by blabbing about it.

An audible growl rose from Gajeel-kun, "You are the most stubborn, hard headed, love sick-"

"Gajeel, please. You're not helping. Can you at least be practical Juvia? What are you going to wear?"

"Juvia's clothes must be around here somewhere."

"You mean these?" Gajeel asked before something wet whacked me in the face. He'd thrown it with enough force to send me sprawling back on the bed. It seemed Gajeel-kun was quite mad at me.

"Gajeel! She already has a concussion. Are you trying to add whiplash to the list?"

"She asked for her god damn clothes! I gave 'em to her."

I ignored their sudden bickering and lifted the sodden mass of fabric off my face. It had to be my coat. Damn it. "Gajeel-kun didn't think to hang it up?" I was so frustrated. There wasn't much I could do without clothes. Not unless I wanted to give Gray-sama and everyone else who saw me the completely wrong idea by wearing Gajeel-kun's clothes. Not that anything of his fit me properly.

"I didn't what? I'm sorry hime-sama I forgot to wake the maid. Probably because I was a little preoccupied last night when you blacked out on the back of my bike and nearly ate the tarmac for breakfast."

Levy gasped but Gajeel wasn't done. "Then again, I should have rung ahead for fresh clothes and a bubble bath after I ditched my bike and carried your unconscious ass the rest of the way here. Not that you would have appreciated it. You came around just long enough to throw yourself, wet clothes and muddy boots included, into my bed. The only reason you won't catch pneumonia is because I towelled you dry."

Another small gasp from Levy but I hardly noticed. It was true that all I remembered was our argument in the garage then a big blank space of time before the comfort of Gajeel's bed. Had I really passed out while we were riding back to the dorm? That was so dangerous. I couldn't even imagine how Gajeel-kun had kept us from crashing.

"I put you in dry clothes. I got an extra blanket for you. Not that ice cold bastard your always mooning over. Me! Do I even get a thank you? No. Instead you want to go ten rounds with me because I'd rather you stay in bed than go traipsing around as a walking accident about to happen. Did it even occur to you that maybe you've put your body through enough this weekend? Drugs, fights, injuries, no sleep. All that and the only thing you care about is seeing Gray. Think about yourself for once! And if you can't do that, then at least trust the one person in your life whose always had your back. That ain't fucking him!"

My lower lip trembled and I felt tears flood my eyes. Gajeel-kun was right. He'd never said much about me and Gray-sama. Or really any decision I made. He respected me and I knew that whatever happened, good or bad, he'd always be there for me. The whole thing with Vidaldus was my fault. Because I'd followed Gray-sama to that party and gotten so depressed that my guard dropped. I'd put everything we'd built in Magnolia at risk. Gray-sama might be worth it to me but I was forgetting that I would be dragging Gajeel-kun down with me if our life here was compromised.

Looking back at my behaviour since I'd woken up, I'd been immensely self-centred. He'd done a lot for me to make sure I got home safely yet I hadn't even thought to thank Gajeel-kun. If Levy had been less understanding, I probably would have even put his relationship in jeopardy. I'd gone so far as to almost get into a physical fight with him. What the hell was I thinking? I wasn't, as usual when Gray-sama was involved.

"Gajeel-kun," I said softly as two tears slipped free, "Gomenasai." The single word seemed woefully inadequate but it was all I had.

"You know what?" The door opened and this time it was Gajeel's outline in the dim light that filtered in from the hallway. "I don't even give a shit."

"Oh Juvia," Levy breathed into the sudden silence after the door slammed, "I think you've really done it this time."

* * *

I knocked three times on the front door then shoved my hand into the pocket of my jeans to keep myself from banging continuously until someone came to the door. As it was my patience was running thin and the minute long wait felt like an hour.

"Hey Gray." The guy who came to the door was in my year at school. We weren't friends but we knew each other.

"Hi." I said sharply as he stepped back to let me in, "Gajeel here?"

"Yeah but I would wait for a better time if I was you."

I was already making my way across the foyer, "Why?"

"Levy's here."

"So?" I figured she would be. She had to know. There was no other reason for her to be acting so distracted then rush off because of a simple text message. She was already in on the Gajeel and Juvia secret so there was no reason for her not to witness its revelation to me. I kept walking.

"So Gajeel will kill you. Trust me. A couple guys thought it would be funny to stand outside his door and make umm 'helpful' suggestions the first time she came over."

I could guess that meant vulgar, immature innuendo and the like. The guys dorm was a lot more chilled than the girls dorm. Erza was pretty strict on the no boys rule, except on special occasions like someone's birthday but of course no guy would blink twice if a girl showed up here. That didn't mean the lucky guy wouldn't be hazed like crazy.

"Anyway, two black eyes and a busted lip later we all got the message not to mess with him and his girl."

"It's not his girl I'm interested in. Is Juvia here?"

"Juvia? Nah. She was here yesterday." He paused at the beginning of the hallway, "Still going to try it? Well, it's your funeral."

It may or may not be somebody's funeral but it was definitely question time. I'd try, at least a little, not to smash Gajeel's face in the second I saw him because he'd been stupid enough to get Juvia mixed up in something dangerous. If that was what happened. I reigned in my temper. Nothing had been proven yet and I'd look like a fool if I made a bunch of wild accusations. Also, I reminded myself not to act as if I really cared. It was only Juvia and she'd been wrapping me up in too many circles lately. If I flipped out it would be more proof that she'd somehow wrangled her way under my skin. By the gods, I knew getting involved with her was a bad idea but I was already in over my head. Damn that girl for her creamy skin that had me entranced and her brutal drugged confessions that made me feel like a complete ass. I owed her but not this much and I definitely hated seeing her as pretty. I was calling Gajeel out on his bullshit then so help me I was revising my deal with Juvia. I couldn't take a whole month of this nonsense.

I strode towards Gajeel's room, realising for the first time that it was in the exact same place as Juvia's room. The back of the dorm, the last door at the end of a hallway. Quiet, at a distance from the hubbub of the main rooms. Sneaking out via the window would be easy. Sure, getting back in was a little inconvenient as it required a good amount of upper body strength. Not a real problem for me or Gajeel. Then there was the obvious advantage. By dropping down into the garden and not onto the porch there was less noise and a reduced chance of anyone spotting you.

Was this all a coincidence? I doubted it.

Another wave of anger rolled over me. Quite possibly, this wasn't the first time Gajeel and Juvia had snuck out. What the fuck? Turns out, I barely knew the two of them.

Ahead of me Gajeel stepped out his room and let the door slam behind him. He looked pissed. "What? Levy not too happy you spent the night with another girl?" The question was bait but Gajeel didn't take it.

"You are quite literally the last person I want to see right now. Fuck off."

"Can't. Got a few questions about you and Juvia."

"Don't start with me Fullbuster. I'm warning you."

I'd stopped about halfway down the hallway. Gajeel didn't slow down as he approached me. He clearly didn't want to chitchat. Looking at him, I was feeling less and less like talking too. My eyes narrowed, "I didn't come here to start anything." Only half a lie. "But I'll finish anything you start." The whole truth.

Gajeel cracked his knuckles, "I was hoping you'd say that."


	19. Worthy

_A/N: __I do not own Fairy Tail_

_Chapter Eighteen - Worthy_

Natsu and I fought a lot growing up. Sometimes for a reason but mostly just because we could. Neither of us ever really won. We'd walk away afterwards, bruised and annoyed, but still good friends. Over the years I'd come to know his fighting style, partly because it was similar to my own. We went to the same dojo, had the same Sensei, learned the same techniques. There wasn't any move he could pull that I didn't know how to counter and nothing I could do that would completely surprise him. It was the same with everyone I regularly sparred with and, to some extent, even included Erza. Erza didn't beat us because she knew some amazing move we didn't. She was simply better than any of us at applying the skills we all had.

This sense of 'sameness' did not hold true with Gajeel.

Of course, I'd fought plenty of people from different schools and from dojos with various styles. Sensei made sure we could handle anything an opponent might throw at us. Otherwise we would have had no chance at regionals, let alone nationals and what was the point of that? No, it wasn't that Gajeel had been trained somewhere different that made him a dangerous opponent.

It was that he hadn't been trained at all.

Sure, I recognised the odd flash of Sensei's teachings but it was so lost behind... Whatever the hell Gajeel called his technique. If I had to put a name on it I would have called it 'street'. As in no holds, no rules, do whatever the fuck it takes to win. That kind of _street. _But Gajeel didn't seem to want to win. What he wanted was to rip my head off by any means possible. And I mean any.

The dojo had rules. There were certain things you simply did not do. Apparently, absolutely none of these teachings had rubbed off on Gajeel over the last few months. That or he didn't care. Considering he hadn't been disqualified at regionals and must not intend to be sent home in disgrace from nationals I was leaning towards the latter reason. He wanted to hurt me and as an ex-Oak Town High student, he was living up to the reputation of that infamous establishment in all the ways that mattered.

In short, my "conversation" with Gajeel was not going at all the way I'd planned. That Gajeel was cheating, or near enough to cheating, was little comfort to me as I stared up at him from the floor for what must be the third time in ten minutes. The honour and respect of the dojo were ingrained in me. Unfortunately, those values put me at a distinct disadvantage against a guy who'd sink to whatever level it took to make sure I got the message. And I was getting it all right. Gajeel didn't like me. Had never liked me. From day one. I'd assumed because he didn't call me out on the negativity between Juvia and I that he didn't care. Boy had I been wrong. A years' worth of anger was behind every punch, every kick, every underhanded move of his that caught me off guard. This guy hated my guts because of a lovesick girl I'd only truly noticed a week ago. Even worse, I'd asked for this fight. I'd come to the boys dorm fuming mad, all set to put Gajeel in his place about dragging Juvia into a dangerous situation when it was so obvious now. So blindingly obvious.

He was the reason. Gajeel was the one who'd taught Juvia enough self-defence that she could stand up to Enno's bully and use high level judo moves that worked even against me. Gajeel was the one who kept Juvia safe for Mavis knows how many years while they were at Oak Town High together. Those strong arms that Juvia clung to me with were banded with muscle because Gajeel had trained her. He was the reason she didn't cry over bruises or creeps in clubs. The reason she could say "It's nothing" and "Don't worry about it Gray-sama". He was the one she went to when she had a problem. Secretive nature aside, Juvia trusted Gajeel to deal with the guy from last night so much that it hadn't even occurred to her to include me in their plans. I'd been right there, more than willing to help her out, and she'd passed me over in favour of Gajeel. Because she knew he had the strength to handle it and he was all she needed. After all, what had I ever done but ignore her?

The knowledge grated on my pride. Irked me almost as much as anything else I'd been thinking today. Juvia lofted me up on a pedestal as her Gray-sama but when the shit hit the fan it was Gajeel-kun she went running to. Gajeel who probably knew every little detail of Juvia's life including the secrets held by the names Totomaru and Bora. A horrible emotion was creeping over me. I knew what it was but I refused to name it. To acknowledge it was to make it real and no way in hell was I admitting that I was annoyed because the guy first in line to keep Juvia safe wasn't me. Fuck that. I did not give a shit about that girl.

"Stay down," Gajeel sneered at me, "Any more and that face of yours will be one even Juvia will struggle to love."

"Go to hell," I said while I struggled to my feet. I tried to force my anger down but it bubbled over, uncontrollable in all its darkness. "Admit it, you took Juvia to find that guy from the club."

"So what if I did? It doesn't have a damn thing to do with you," Gajeel shot back.

And he was right. Who knew how much trouble he'd gotten Juvia out of when they'd been at Oak Town High together? The logical side of me thought I should quit while I was ahead. It was the sensible, reasonable thing to do. Even knowing that, my patent dislike for what might have happened meant I couldn't simply shut up and slink away. "She's an innocent girl and that bastard is dangerous. You had no right, dragging her around like that."

Gajeel started laughing, "No right? Do you even hear yourself. You're a joke Gray."

"Nothing about this is funny!"

"What are you really mad about? Why are you here?" He shoved me after each question and in that instant I hated him with an intensity I didn't know I possessed. "Are you jealous? Are you? She came to me and she always will. You're not good enough for her. You never will be."

"I don't want her!"

"Yet here you are."

"Someone has to keep her out of trouble."

Gajeel laughed again. "You? This is fucking hilarious. Juvia followed you around all year and you didn't give a damn. Now you want to be a hero but guess what? She doesn't want you."

"That's not what she said." The words were cocky but undeniably true.

"Sure, maybe now you're not ignoring her Juvia can rent you out like all the other women you've been with. What's the going rate for an hour with you anyway?"

I wasn't embarrassed about my reputation. That didn't mean I was okay with Gajeel talking about me like I worked in a damn host club. "Ask Levy, she knows," I flung back at him.

It was a stupid insinuation. Maybe other guys would have been pissed off at what I was suggesting but Gajeel only laughed harder. We both knew Levy was way too bright to consider for even five seconds getting tangled up with a guy like me. God knows what she saw in Gajeel. Or how she put up with his infuriating laugh. He was driving me insane. "Just shut up already! This isn't about me. This is about Juvia."

"I'll say it one more time. She does not need you to protect her."

There wasn't much I could say to that, especially not when Gajeel's knee had just connected with my stomach. I sucked in a shallow breath that stuttered to a halt at his next words.

"Juvia would eat you alive. With her eyes closed. I bet you won't even make it through the month you promised her."

I was stunned. "You know about that?" The words came out as a soft wheeze.

"I know everything about Juvia." There was no conceit in Gajeel's tone, no sense of possession. It was a simple statement but the way in which it was said conveyed a lot. Gajeel stepped back and rolled his shoulders. At least he was above kicking me while I was down. "You haven't asked about her yet," he added.

I felt a flush of heat realising he was right. I forced myself to straighten up and was pleased when my voice sounded almost normal, "She better be okay or I'll-"

"Admit it. You won't be able to handle it. I give it three days tops before you bail on her."

I was regretting this confrontation more and more. Gajeel didn't talk much but when he did, he got straight to the point. Several points. None of which I liked. "That wont happen."

It was the truth and yet it wasn't. I had promised to get to know Juvia. Yet, everything about her seemed to become so damn complicated. I couldn't deny that it had already crossed my mind to renege on my promise with her. She was a hassle and I'd spent a large chunk of today thinking she was playing games with me when really she was… I still didn't know. "Where is she? Is she alright?"

"You know," Gajeel said after a short pause, "It says a lot about you that those questions weren't the first ones you asked."

Guilt tainted my anger. I'd sat in the library, stewing in indignation at Juvia's unscheduled absence until my frustration drove me to seek her out. Finding out that she'd spent last night running around town on a quest for vigilante justice with Gajeel had sparked anger and a perverse sense of that other emotion I refused to name. The toxic combination had eclipsed anything else I might have felt. Like concern. I preferred anger. Feelings like concern were dangerous. To worry about someone implied that they were important to me. That I'd miss them if they were gone. People had a habit of disappearing out of my life right when I needed them the most. So I never let them in that close. Ever. I should never have gotten so worked up over this in the first place. There was no reason for me to be feeling guilt or anger or anything other than lukewarm friendship for Juvia. Once I recognised how far she had dragged me off my well established routine, I immediately resented feeling so much for her.

'Normality' was an elusive state I had yet to achieve with Juvia. Things seemed to be all or nothing between us. We'd gone from being virtual strangers who danced around each other in a bizarre cat and mouse game to crashing into each other's lives with all the finesse of a collapsing building. Everything about this was wrong. Even when she wasn't physically in my presence Juvia managed to screw me over. I needed to step back and re-evaluate. Instead of saying I didn't care, I needed to retreat and truly find the cool emotional distance that'd served me so well all these years. Why was it so hard to treat Juvia like I would any of my other friends?

"I need to get away from her." The words were not truly what I intended but they slipped from my lips, heavy with all they implied.

Gajeel opened his arms wide and pointed towards the door, "Run along home, coward."

Well, shit. So much for finding distance and clarity. The insult had barely registered before I was sending a left jab at Gajeel's jaw. I was all for emotional distance but I sure as hell would never back down from a fight.

* * *

Gajeel-kun and I had disagreed many times previously. All close friends did and we were closer than most. But I knew this was different. Gajeel-kun wasn't merely mad at me. This wasn't some petty argument to be cleared up after he had some time to cool down. Gajeel-kun clearly felt like I'd been taking our friendship for granted and he was right. I'd made a complete mess of things this time. In my quest to attain Gray-sama I'd lost my very best friend. I couldn't help the flood of tears that followed Gajeel's departure. Levy embraced me in a soft hug, "Don't cry Juvia. Gajeel's only a little mad. You know he won't stay angry, not with you. He can't."

A little mad. I'd seen "a little mad" make Gajeel fracture someone's jaw before. What was the emotional equivalent of a few broken bones? A couple days of silent treatment? Months of it? Maybe the next time I needed Gajeel-kun for something he wouldn't be there. The thought brought on a fresh wave of tears. For so long I'd thought that Gray-sama was all I wanted, all I needed to be happy. That was an untruth of epic proportions. It amazed how I could have been so blind to this.

When I'd had no one, Gajeel had been there for me. I never doubted that he had my back, same as I had his. Even disapproving of Gray, Gajeel had stood by me through every temporary high and heartbreaking low of this year. He was a true, loyal friend. Even the harsh words he'd just said to me had come from love. His truth might have shredded my heart but it also opened my eyes.

This year must have been infuriating for Gajeel-kun. Watching me chase after a guy he didn't approve of. All those times I did silly, foolish things to gain Gray-sama's attention. Listening to me talk incessantly about one topic only. I inwardly cringed thinking of all the one sided conversations between Gajeel-kun and I where his only participation was to look bored. It didn't use to be that way. He used to laugh at the things I said, give me his opinion and, in some rare moments of trust, tell me about his life before Phantom Lord. Gajeel hadn't gushed out his deepest, darkest secret to me when we'd first met. I'd learned about him slowly, a lot of it through revealing actions or seemingly casual comments. There was a lot to him than no one else knew. Mostly dark things. It was a miracle he wasn't any more fucked up than the typical delinquent with a past like his.

Still, it was undeniable that Gajeel kept his heart well guarded. An understandable defence if you knew what he'd been through. It was my privilege to be one of the few people allowed into his life. Yet, when was the last time I'd talked to him about something other than Gray-sama? Oh right. Yesterday when I'd dumped a shit load of self-induced problems on him. Alongside a ton of ingratitude. I felt like the worse kind of selfish bitch. "Juvia is so sorry," the words came out disjointed and intermingled with sobs.

"Hush now," Levy said soothingly. She pulled my head down onto her shoulder and stroked my back. Of itself the movement wasn't that comforting but then she started rocking me gently and humming. I went right back to being six years old when I used to crawl into Nieve's lap and let her be the mother neither of us truly had. The memory of my sister was enough to ease my tears. "No more crying," Levy said, "I'm sure your head must hurt enough already."

She was right. The tears had taken an already terrible headache and made it almost unbearable. Not that crying was any use. It wouldn't make up for the terrible wedge I'd driven between Gajeel-kun and myself. "Gajeel-kun hates Juvia," I whispered.

"Don't be ridiculous. Gajeel cares about you so much, Juvia. He's just making a point. A very valid point if I say so myself, although he could have said it in a nicer way. You need to think about yourself a little bit more. Your determination is pretty impressive but you can be a little…"

"Crazy."

"I was going to say stubborn. Don't worry. Gajeel will come back when he's calmed down. In the meantime perhaps you should think about what he said."

I didn't really need to think about it. Gajeel-kun's words had stripped me bare. My actions this weekend, viewed through his eyes, were a prime example of when I'd used poor judgement when it came to Gray-sama. Unfortunately, it wasn't like this was the first time. The most dangerous, sure, but definitely not the first.

I suppose I could blame my uncaring parents or the fact that my two previous relationships had been totally messed up for why my life choices weren't always for the best but I knew a lot of the blame could be firmly placed on my shoulders. The bad habits I'd fallen into with Gray-sama were hard to break. Change rarely happened overnight but salvaging my relationship with Gajeel-kun demanded I make some serious life changes. Immediately. "How is Juvia supposed to do this?"

"You don't have to do anything except try not to be so upset. I'm going to start crying any second now if you don't stop."

I shook my head and felt how my tears had soaked Levy's shirt. "Levy-san doesn't understand. How is Juvia supposed to love Gray-sama without throwing her whole heart away?"

Not missing a beat Levy replied, "That's easy."

I pulled away from her in disbelief. She was wicked clever but I hadn't really expected an answer from her. Especially not such a confident one.

"Oh Juvia," Levy murmured as she swept a thumb under my eye, "You wear your heart on your sleeve but I don't think you understand love."

I wiped my face and slumped back onto the pillows, "Juvia only knows what Juvia feels."

"That loving Gray leaves nothing left?"

I nodded and Levy sighed, "I know a little bit of what you're feeling right now and a bit of what Gajeel must be thinking too."

"How?"

"Jet and Droy of course. The three of us were always really close. I was happy with what we had. I didn't need anyone else. Then there was Gajeel and…" Levy shrugged, "Everything changed."

I pulled my knees to my chest and laid my head down on top of them, "Levy-san and Gajeel-kun are perfect."

"No, we're not and you're missing the point. I didn't want him. I had all the love I could ever ask for but the heart isn't a solid box. It doesn't get full when you add more people into it. Jet and Droy were so annoyed when I started dating Gajeel. They thought they were losing me."

"Losing you," I murmured the words. I couldn't in a million years imagine Gajeel in the same boat as Jet and Droy. For starters, Gajeel-kun wasn't half in love with me like Jet and Droy were with Levy.

"Yeah. But they didn't, not the way they were worried about. Truth is, there's no denying that a romantic relationship has a different pull than a platonic friendship. The trick is finding balance. I could so easily be just like you, Juvia."

"Juvia doesn't understand."

"I could spend every waking moment with Gajeel and be perfectly happy. But adding him to my heart doesn't mean Jet and Droy got shoved out of it. I love them too. Our friendship would crumble and die if I stopped spending time with them. Your problem isn't that you gave your whole heart to Gray. In fact that's not even true. If it was, you wouldn't care one bit that Gajeel was mad at you. Juvia, your problem isn't being in love. It's that you don't handle your feelings very well."

I chewed on my lip. Hadn't I heard that a million times before? Not in this exact context but it wasn't so different from the many other times I'd been told to ease up when it came to Gray. Fortunately, after our heart to heart the other day I knew making that change was no longer out of reach.

"Juvia knows what to do with Gray-sama." After all, I had that deal with him. I only had to trust him to stick to his half of it. If Gray-sama really was serious about being friends with me then he would understand things happened and he wouldn't be mad that I hadn't met up with him today. I could text him or something. My freak out session just now was totally ridiculous. I recognised it as a symptom of my old push and pull relationship with Gray-sama. That nonsense was over. I no longer had an excuse for that kind of behaviour. As for Gajeel… "Juvia needs to fix things with Gajeel-kun."

Levy tapped her chin thoughtfully but refrained from commenting on what I'd said about Gray. "You definitely need to have a serious talk with Gajeel. It might seem like a random outburst but this is something that's been building up in him for a while. He hates that you care less for yourself than for Gray. You're precious to him and when you're hurt, he is too. And… he told me you changed a lot this year."

No point arguing with that. We'd both changed. Gajeel for the better and me for...? I wasn't sure. I'd re-invented myself plenty of times over the years. I could do it once more, especially for my best friend. "Gajeel-kun is precious to Juvia too."

"Right, so it's beyond stupid for you two to fight about this. Everything will be okay. You'll see."

* * *

I leant over and rested my hands on my knees. Through ragged breaths I managed to say, "Enough. This is stupid."

It was some consolation to me that Gajeel was nearly as out of breath as I was. The second half of our fight hadn't been quite so one sided but I got the impression that it had little to do with me and more to do with the fact that Gajeel was obviously tired. From his late night jaunt with Juvia. My anger no longer sparked at the thought. I was willing to concede, at least to myself, that Juvia was perfectly safe in Gajeel's company. My battered ribs were testimony to that. Each breath brought on a telltale twinge of pain. The bruises were going to be phenomenal. "Are we done here?"

"No. We're not done here."

I tossed my reticence aside. Juvia had already told this idiot everything so there was no reason to hold back. "What the fuck do you want? You already beat the crap out of me. I'll put up with Juvia for a month and-"

"That right there is why I don't like you."

"Enlighten me," I said dryly.

Gajeel crossed his arm across his chest and glanced away from me. I felt gratified by the faint bruise already spreading across the right side of his jaw. Served the bastard right.

"If you don't like a girl, you don't like her. Enough said. No one could fault you for that but I know you don't dislike Juvia. You're afraid-"

"I am not!"

"Then why are you always running from her?"

I threw my hands in the air, "Are you blind? She wants me to put a fucking ring on it. I don't do that shit. It was wrong of me to ignore her-"

"And string her along."

"What?" This was getting exasperating. Talking to Gajeel was a trial of patience.

"You always made sure to keep her dangling on. Don't think I didn't notice that."

"You're wrong," I said coolly but the moment Gajeel had spoken I remembered leaving Risley's party with Enno and feeling disturbed by the notion that I might have pushed Juvia too far. That she would fall out of love with me because I'd been too cold to her. And then my instant reaction on Saturday when she'd talked about being emotionless. I'd been horrified by the thought of her not caring for me anymore. So much that I'd promised her a whole month of my life. I cringed to think that my bad treatment of Juvia this year had probably contained subtle undertones that urged her to keep up our circle of bad behaviour. Something had to be wrong with me. "I'm not afraid of Juvia. We can be friends but she won't get what she wants from me."

"Then what's your problem with her?"

I opened my mouth then snapped it shut. Whether I spent the month with her or not, Juvia wasn't going to get her fairy tale ending so what exactly was my issue with her? I couldn't admit I was worried that the temptation to sleep with her would be too much for me. Saying that to Gajeel's face would be asking for him to kill me. Although that wasn't my motivation right now. Today was more about the impulse I had to meddle in Juvia's life, not the physical attraction I felt for her. Still, I'd come dangerously close to falling back into our old loop. I couldn't deal with Juvia so my instant reaction was to draw away from her. Fuck. I'd promised her I was done with that.

Gajeel and Juvia would not trust me with their secrets. I expected it of him but not her. I had the chance to change that if I was willing to risk caring more about her. No way could I do that. Even if we became friends there would always be that distance. On her part and mine. The truth of it was, it was probably for the best. The almost tangible sense that we were both holding back from each other was exactly what we needed to achieve that elusive balance in our friendship.

I held back a sigh. I might as well have sold my soul to the devil if this first day was a representation of the next four weeks. Still I had promised Juvia that I would try and I owed it to myself not to revert back to being a total jerk. It wasn't like I was going to fall in love with her.

The thought instantly relaxed me. No way would that ever happen. I was safe from Juvia no matter what she threw at me. "I need to talk to Juvia. Where is she?"

A smirk formed on Gajeel's face like he'd scored a victory over me and the unfortunate truth was he kind of had. I resisted the urge to smack him right into next week. "I don't know."

I scowled at him, "She was with you. What do you mean you don't know?"

"She's not here," he said with a one shouldered shrug.

"Then where is she? She's not at the dorm. I checked."

"Who's stalking who now?"

My teeth ground painfully together and I had to force the words out, "We were supposed to meet up today."

"Maybe she decided her life doesn't have to revolve around a waste of space like you anymore."

"What the fuck man? That girl is chasing me, not the other way around." Having taken his pound of flesh from me, Gajeel still wasn't ready to give up the insults yet. I'd be the first person to throw my hands up and admit I probably had it coming. I hadn't been exactly nice to Juvia. Still wasn't considering my reaction to her absence today. It was probably a good thing I hadn't found her.

Whatever. Rome wasn't built in a day.

"Running in circles, the way you two do, it's hard to tell who's chasing who."

I scowled but Gajeel wasn't done. "That's hardly the issue," he continued, "Juvia needs someone strong and you are not."

My hands formed into fists and I impulsively stepped towards him. I was still riled enough not to mind going another round with him.

Gajeel didn't move an inch. He only snorted with derision, "Not that kind of strength, idiot."

I forced myself to relax, "You and I probably won't be friends after today."

"We weren't friends before so I'm going to say what I should have months ago."

Here we go. The 'she's like my sister' talk. Great. Usually, the talk came before the fighting and the fighting came after the guy ignored the talk and fucked the girl anyway. Well, I could hardly expect anything normal to be related to Juvia. I put a bored expression on my face and hoped Gajeel would be brief.

"You'll miss her when she's gone."

I waited expectantly. The silence stretched between us until I realised that was all Gajeel had to say. Brief was an understatement. "That's it? You're not going to warn me off her? Threaten to beat me up if I touch her? You know, I'm going to be spending a whole month with Juvia," I said it like that alone was probable cause for him to need to defend her virtue. I wanted to take the words back the moment I said them. Juvia's virtue was safe. Most likely.

Gajeel shrugged, "No need. You're a ghost of a man, Gray. You fill your life up with flimsy, temporary things. There's no depth, no strength. Juvia doesn't see it now but she will." Gajeel shook his head, "She's got more strength of character in her little finger than you do in your entire body. If I have to bet who will be left standing at the end of this, all my money is on her."

I blinked. All of Gajeel's comments so far had been brutally direct. This latest statement was no different but I wanted to recoil from it. There was something in his expression, his tone, the way he phrased his sentences…

Pity.

This bastard felt sorry for me.

I instinctively knew he was referring to the way I lived my life. The girls, the parties, the distance I so carefully maintained from clingy commitments. I'd had guys say shit to me before. Jealous about all the girls I got with but I wasn't so cocky as to think that applied to Gajeel. I knew he'd seen right through the façade I had wrapped around my life. It unnerved me. "You don't know a thing about me."

Gajeel shrugged, "Actions speak for themselves. I bet your parents would have been real proud."

Would have been. I knew straight away Gajeel wasn't talking about Julian and Grace. Not that they would have been enamoured with my sleeping around either, but the thought of my birth parents sent a stab of all too real pain straight through my gut. I sucked in a sharp breath that made my ribs complain and released it in a single word, "Don't."

"Just saying. I'm sure you're exactly the kind of man your mother hoped you'd be," Gajeel drawled, sarcasm dripping from every word.

The distance between us disappeared in a flash. My hands fisted into his shirt before I could think about it. I shook him roughly, "Don't talk about my mother. Ever."

I'd expected retaliation but Gajeel still had that 'poor you' look on his face. Then it disappeared to be replaced by something almost as bad. Indifference.

"You won't change. You can't. Not even the thought of them will make you do it."

"Stop it! There's nothing wrong with my life."

"Sure."

"There isn't!"

"Whatever man. Got nothing to do with me."

"Exactly." I let him go and tried to shake the cold dread that'd slunk down my spine. I felt sick. Unwanted memories were surfacing, rising up to choke me. I'd been young when they died but some things I couldn't forget. Like the way my father looked at my mother. How in love they'd been. That kind of love you didn't find by spending every other night with a different girl. But I didn't want that kind of emotion polluting my life. Love so overwhelming and self-sacrificing was a dangerous, horrible thing. Fear swirled into my heart. That wouldn't be me. I would never feel that way. Not after them. Not after Ul.

Ul.

God, I hadn't thought of her like this in years. The room seemed to tilt and for a moment I thought I'd actually be sick. I turned away from Gajeel paranoid that something of my thoughts would show on my face. How had the day ended up like this? I swallowed hard, "If you see Juvia, tell her… Fuck it. Don't tell her anything."

I made it to the door before Gajeel replied, "I'll tell her what I always do. A man like you is unworthy of her love. I know it and deep down I think you know it too."

I paused at the door and said over my shoulder, "Good thing I don't want her love then."

I didn't want love from anyone.


	20. Baggage

A/N: This chapter starts with a flashback. It's been awhile and I'm a little rusty so go easy on me in the reviews. For those of you that are wondering, I've been hitting my textbooks for the last few months but it was worth it as I'm finally graduating with my masters this week.

I do not own Fairy Tail

_Chapter Nineteen - Baggage_

_"Gray, it's time to go!"_

_I stopped running at the sound of my name and yelled, "I'm going home now," at my friends retreating backs._

_"Bye Gray, see you tomorrow," they chorused back at me, never pausing in their game of tag._

_I waved and dashed to the edge of the playground where my parents stood waiting for me. Mom knelt and pulled me into a tight hug, "I missed you so much today Gray."_

_I'd missed her too and snuggled deeper into her arms. A large hand ruffled my hair and I looked up into my Dad's smiling face, "So son, how was your first day of big school?"_

_I squirmed out of Mom's arms to bounce excitedly, "It was so cool!"_

_They both smiled and extended their hands to me. My small hands fit easily in theirs and we started on our walk for home. I immediately began a detailed retelling of everything that'd happened to me today. We were only a street away when I finally paused to take a breath._

_"And you thought he wouldn't make friends," Dad said while I gulped for air and Mom laughed._

_"I shouldn't have worried. It sounds like you had a great day, Gray. Was there anything about first grade that you didn't like?"_

_I wrinkled my nose, "I have to hold hands with a girl when we walk down the halls."_

_"What's wrong with that? You're holding hands with me." Her fingers wiggled then squeezed gently over mine._

_"Girls are icky. And you're not a girl. You're a mom."_

_They both laughed but I didn't see what was funny. I pulled a face, "Sensei says this girl is my partner for the whole year. It's awful!"_

_Dad reached down and tickled me, "Your face will get stuck that way." I laughed then whooped as he swept me up to sit on his shoulders. He steadied me with one hand and wrapped the other around Mom's waist, drawing her closer to us. "You won't always think that about girls."_

_"Uh huh," I said with certainty, "Girls only ever want to play house or dolls. They don't like frogs or mud or anything cool."_

_Dad chuckled, "I know what you mean Gray but trust me, girls learn to play plenty of better games when they're older."_

_"Silver! What are you saying to him?" I watched my mom pretend to elbow him. He doubled over like it'd really hurt and I squealed as I was sent tilting towards the ground in a rush. My fingers wove into his dark hair but I wasn't truly scared. We straightened up just as quickly and my head spun a little bit."Again!"_

_"Once was quite enough," Mom said with a stern look. "One of these days, you're going to drop him and I'll never forgive you."_

_"I won't," Dad said at the exact same time that I said, "Dad won't." My dad could do anything. I stretched my arms above my head to steal a leaf off a low hanging branch as we turned the corner onto our street. I folded it in two and blew but I still couldn't make it whistle like Dad could. I pouted and let it drop. It swirled down and caught in Mom's hair. She tugged it free, "I'm outnumbered by you boys. I'm sure the trees are quite safe from the girl you have as a partner."_

_I shrugged, "Don't be silly, Mom. There's no trees in the school hallway!" I thought for a minute then added, "If you want a girl to walk home with we can get one."_

_Mom stopped so suddenly that Dad and I were several paces ahead of her before we came to a halt. "Would you like a little sister Gray?"_

_"No. Girls are lame. But if you want one, I won't be mad."_

_For some reason Mom looked like she wanted to cry and I thought it must be what I'd said so I quickly added, "I'll hold her hand even if she is a crybaby." I wouldn't want to but I didn't like my Mom crying._

_"Oh Gray," she murmured and dashed a tear away with the back of her hand._

_I frowned. I guess holding hands wasn't enough. "Don't be sad. I'll show her the worms in the garden and how to play hide 'n' seek so Dad never finds us and important stuff like licking an Oreo before you eat it. Maybe she won't be lame."_

_Dad squeezed my leg, "That's enough Gray. I'm going to put you down for a minute okay?"_

_Back on my own two feet, I felt so much smaller. My fingers tangled uselessly in the straps of my backpack as my parents hugged. I couldn't shake the feeling that I'd said something very wrong but I couldn't figure out what. Dad's voice was an indistinct rumble as he murmured to Mom then he stepped back and waved me over, "I think your mother would love a hug, Gray."_

_Wrapped in her arms, she squeezed me tightly and kissed my cheek, "You're so precious to me. Do you know that Gray? We waited so long for you and you're everything we ever dreamed of."_

_I just hugged her back, quietly glad that her tears had stopped._

_"Can I carry you home Gray?"_

_I had way too much energy left over from school but I nodded anyway and clung to her when she lifted me off the ground._

_"Maybe one day you can have a little sister."_

_"Mika" Dad said in the same voice he used when I didn't pack my toys away properly._

_"I know what you're going to say but I also know what the doctors said about Gray. Look," She twisted sideways and brushed my hair back off my forehead as if showing me off, "Does he look anything but perfectly healthy to you?"_

_Dad only sighed but as he walked away I heard him say, "It's not his health I'm worried about."_

_Mom and I trailed slowly after him. "I love you, Gray. Very, very much."_

_"I love you too Mommy."_

I clenched my jaw and used the resulting surge of pain to force the memory down. Damn Gajeel had set off an avalanche inside my brain with his stupid comments. My parents weren't his, or anybody else's, business and I sure as hell didn't appreciate having them shoved in my face. Telling myself that didn't stop the memory from rolling on inside my head.

_"I'd do anything for you, my precious boy."_

God damn it! I didn't want her words in my head. I didn't want to think about my mother at all. I sat up in a rush and barely resisted throwing the ice I'd been holding against the wall. Instead, I flexed my fingers, the bruises on my knuckles letting themselves be known with a fresh achy sensation. That bastard Gajeel really screwed me over. Still, I could no longer stay here. The house was too quiet and my brain was all too eager to fill the empty space with unwelcome memories.

I was remembering, with startling clarity, exactly what it felt like to love someone and be loved in return. Contrary to what some might think, that was not a good feeling for me. In fact, I felt slightly nauseous. Yet, I couldn't switch the thoughts off. What I needed was a distraction and there was one activity that always negated any complicated bullshit I might have going on.

Skimming through the numbers and names in my phone, I discounted girl after girl until there were no options left. None of them appealed to me. Why? Gajeel's dumb remark about my parent's being proud. I couldn't resist the impulse this time and my phone sailed across the room. Unfortunately my aim was way off and the phone smashed into a photo hanging on the opposite wall. The glass smashed and the entire frame fell to the ground with a hollow thump.

Great. That made two broken picture frames in barely as many days. At least the first one hadn't been completely my fault. I hoped. I added tracking down Katja to my list of things to do. In all the chaos of this weekend I'd almost forgotten about the way she freaked out at the sight of me on Friday. God, was that only two days ago? It felt like years.

I eased off the bed, ignoring the way my abs protested at every little movement. I couldn't leave broken glass all over my bedroom floor. Grace would get that worried look on her face and before I knew it her and Julian would be dishing out thinly veiled hints over the dinner table that they'd like me to 'talk to someone'. I'd disabused them of that idea very early on when I'd first come to live with them. No need to give them any reason to think I needed some shrink digging around in my head. Well, not any more reasons.

They'd been the foster parents I was sent to straight after Ul's death. I'd given them a hundred and one reasons to think I needed a therapist or better yet to think I wasn't worth the trouble and send me packing. I guess all the foster kids they'd looked after before me had taught them a trick or two about coping with a moody teenager. Of course, Grace and Julian had done so much better than merely coped. With them I'd found the patience and kindness I hadn't even known I needed. They seemed to get what I was dealing with and instinctively knew not to push too hard. So it'd been subtle. The slow shift of their lives until I fit with them like I'd always been there. I'd barely noticed it myself until that fateful morning when they asked if I minded being adopted.

I may have been fourteen at the time but I wasn't a complete idiot. I knew the odds of being adopted at my age were practically zero. Hadn't even imagined it would happen. I hadn't been overjoyed when they asked but I wasn't horrified either. My reaction had surprised me. After Ul, well the thought of a new family didn't appeal to me. Still, I didn't flat out refuse them and if anyone had asked I couldn't have explained why. Now that I was older, I had a better idea why but that was just another thing I hated thinking of.

I crouched down by the shards of glass and couldn't deny that my list of untouchable subjects got longer every year. At least Gajeel hadn't been able to take a stab at that one. I picked up the largest fragment of glass. Between my fingers it felt so durable yet the evidence of its frailty was all over the carpet. So like life. Seemingly unbreakable yet fractured in a single moment of infinitesimal time. I sighed, carefully gathered up the remaining shards and dumped them in the bin. Only then did I pick up the frame and have a look at the picture.

The first thing I noticed was Erza. She was front and centre of the photo, looking completely annoyed. I couldn't help but laugh. We'd been at her favourite bakery and everyone knew you did not mess with Erza and her strawberry cake. So there she was, fork poised expectantly over the plate with a look on her face that said _'You can't be serious. How dare you interrupt me for a stupid photo'_. Classic Erza. She was one in a million for sure.

Jellal was on Erza's left, like always. I'm pretty sure he was the one who'd convinced her to look up for the photo. No one else would have been brave enough, or stupid enough, to try getting her attention away from her beloved treat. Of course, he was also the only person who would have gotten away with it too. Next to Jellal was Natsu, then Lucy and finally me to fill up that half of the booth.

Lucy was radiant. In this captured moment her personality still managed to spill off the page. She wasn't camera shy or self-conscious. Her outgoing personality was right there for everyone to see. I remember Lucy had flirted outrageously with Natsu all afternoon. He'd been completely oblivious and I'd gotten such a kick out of replying to the suggestive comments she directed at him. Lucy hadn't been annoyed like some girls might have been. She just played along and I'd known right then that she was an awesome girl. Not interested in me but good fun all the same.

To the right of Erza was an obvious empty space. Cana had climbed over to the next booth along so she could take the photo. I think the manager had been less than impressed with her feet on the upholstery but seeing as Erza's was undoubtedly their best customer they cut all of us some slack as her friends.

Next up was Levy, looking an interesting mix of embarrassed and affronted. The reason was obvious. Gajeel was next to her, taking up more than his fair share of the booth, with his arms stretched out along the top of the seats for good measure. It meant his right arm hovered a few scant inches above Levy's shoulders. A fact she was all too aware of judging by her flushed face. If asked on that day Levy could have given a list of Gajeel's faults as long as the arm that almost embraced her. Funny how things changed. Back then Gajeel and Levy had wavered on the thin line between love and hate with amusing results. Watching them rub each other the wrong way had provided plenty of laughs. Somehow they had ended up together without anyone really noticing. One moment they were fri-enemies, the next their relationship was a solid thing.

But really, I didn't want to see any more of that bastard today. My eyes came to rest on the person who completed the table. My current source of aggravation and stress. Juvia. I'd never noticed before, but there was something off about her in this photo. I leaned closer, frowning, while I tried to put a name to what was wrong. The photo had been taken right at the beginning of the school year, prior to any craziness kicking off between Juvia and I. In fact, we hadn't known each other at all. Erza had suggested a group outing so Juvia, Gajeel and Lucy could get to know the rest of us better. I suppose at this point Juvia was probably nursing her crush on me but she hadn't actually said anything to me since that first meeting in the hallway. I was still running on the misguided opinion that she was outrageously quiet and not my type. Not my type...

My eyes flickered from Juvia to Lucy and back again. That was it. Lucy pretty much summed up exactly what kind of girl I usually went for. Bubbly, confident, always up for fun, flirting and other activities beginning with 'f'. No shade on Lucy but she was the kind of girl that gave guys the idea they had a more than halfway chance of talking their way into her bedroom. She wasn't really that easy, she just had that 'I'll try anything once' vibe that tempted you to use a few sweet lines on her. Juvia on the other hand, looked like someone had forced her to that bakery at gunpoint.

Okay, maybe that was a slight over-exaggeration. Still there was no denying that the tiny smile on Juvia's face looked forced. It wasn't simply the case that she was not having a good time. She looked like her face muscles didn't know how to pull off a real smile so had settled on a close approximation instead. Weird. I'd seen a real Juvia smile. A few days ago I would have denied it but truthfully, Juvia could light up a room. She really was that pretty. You wouldn't believe it looking at this photo. It wasn't just that she was "the new girl" and felt a little awkward. The girl in this photo probably didn't understand the concept of fun. That was not the Juvia I knew. This girl was reserved which wasn't a term I'd associate with Juvia as she was now.

But 'reserved' was exactly the kind of word for a girl used to keeping a low profile. The kind of girl that went to a school where it didn't pay to draw attention to yourself. I groaned and slide my way down the wall. Oak Town High. Everything came back to that. Where else would Juvia meet a creep capable of spiking her drink? I wish I'd paid more attention to her on Saturday night.

I toyed with my phone and tried to puzzle out everything I'd learned between that fateful night and now. Juvia obviously had a past that I knew nothing about. One where she'd learned some pretty kickass moves and built an ironclad friendship with Gajeel. The whole 'us against the world' attitude they'd been rocking this weekend wasn't something you formed overnight. I scowled remembering Gajeel throwing it in my face that I was definitely an outsider when it came to dealing with Juvia's problems. And maybe he had a point. Because while the details were sketchy I didn't doubt that Gajeel had beaten the crap out of the guy who drugged Juvia. That didn't mean I was satisfied. How did Juvia and Gajeel know that guy? And if Gajeel knew who it was, why the hell had he taken Juvia along with him? I felt another flash of anger at him for putting Juvia in that situation. It was so dangerous and completely unnecessary.

I realized then that I didn't know the girl I'd been with this weekend anymore than I recognised the girl in this photo. So much of Juvia life was blank space to me. By my own choice. What was real and what was nothing more than a carefully constructed façade?

Before I could even begin sorting that out there was still the fact that I hadn't managed to talk to Juvia yet today and find out if she was okay. Without thought I pulled up her contact details. I could call her. I could ring her right now and find out the truth from her own mouth. But would she even tell me? I scowled remembering how determined Juvia was to make sure I didn't find out too much. She wouldn't tell me shit. I'd be left feeling like an idiot, searching for answers she was reluctant to give. Kept on the other side of her elaborate masquerade. Now wasn't that annoying as hell. I glared down at her number. I didn't like Juvia making me feel this way. This, right here, was just another reason why I didn't get involved with girls. They were way too much trouble. Why couldn't life be simpler?

I let my phone drop only for it to immediately start vibrating. A number I didn't recognise flashed on the screen. Not that unusual considering the number of girls I swapped details with. Maybe this would be the perfect distraction.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this Gray?"

"Depends who's asking."

The girl laughed, soft and sweet. I gave her bonus points right then for not starting any inane giggling.

"Well, if this is Gray, I was wondering if you'd like to come over and chill? I know girls don't usually do this but I feel like our conversation at Risley's party needs further exploration."

I had no idea who this girl was so thank Mavis for her dropping that little hint. Even with that my mind instantly threw up an image of Juvia's legs in that amazing blue dress. Damn it. All the more reason for me to accept this offer. I desperately need to get over my hang up on the going-ons in Juvia's life.

"Well what do you know, this _is_ Gray and I might have some time for a little conversation."

* * *

I lay in Gajeel's bed and squeezed one of his pillows to my chest. In the darkness there was nothing for me to do but imagine all the different ways my looming conversation with Gajeel could end. If he even wanted to talk to me. As things stood between us, that was a pretty big if. My stomach rolled at the thought, anxiety like bitter liquorice coating my mouth. I hated being at odds with Gajeel-kun. We were so much more than best friends. He was the one source of strength I could rely on whenever my life was on the verge on imploding. It was an undeniable truth that the demons haunting my sixteen year old self had only been subdued with Gajeel's help. A fact that was too easy to forget now that our lives were so different. I groaned into the pillow. When had everything become so messed up?

A sliver of light sliced across the bed as the door opened and I instinctively rolled away. My eyes were still sensitive. At least my headache had faded a bit. I was lucky to be the sort of person who bounced back from injuries fairly quickly. "Levy?"

"Nah. It's me."

Gajeel. My heart froze then exploded into action, pulsing with all my worries and fears. The total breakdown of my body into irrational immobility was complete as my mouth refused to form any of words I'd hoped to say. Into the growing silence the door clicked shut. The time was here, the moment now, yet I couldn't do anything.

"Where did Levy go?"

I swallowed around the lump in my throat and sat up slowly. "Levy-san went to get Juvia some dry clothes."

More silence. Somehow the absence of sound always managed to seem so loud. Everything left unspoken giving weight to the quiet until it felt like suffocation in this noiseless place was a real possibility.

"Look Juvia about what I said before," Gajeel's voice reached out across the void between us, his tone flat, and I knew right then that I had to take control of this conversation. Say the right things. The hard things that needed to be said to clear the air. This whole thing was on me, not him. Gajeel would brush it all under the carpet to keep the peace between us but it would fester there, unspoken. I couldn't let this poison everything between us.

"Gajeel-kun, Juvia is-" I started to say but Gajeel was on a roll.

"I shouldn't have said anything. Let's just forget it, alright?"

"No."

"No?"

"Let's not forget it."

Another silence then a heavy sigh. The bed sank as Gajeel sat down. I scooted over to him until we were side by side. For a second, we simply sat there in the darkness then I steeled my resolve and leaned into him. My head came to rest on his shoulder. Solid. Unmoveable. Unforgiving?

No, never that. It took a moment but I felt the tension drain out of my best friend. "Don't cuddle me," he grumbled yet didn't move away. He never did. I couldn't help the small smile that tugged at the corners of my lips. I wouldn't lose him.

"Gajeel-kun, Juvia is really sorry about this weekend. Juvia made a mistake and pulled Gajeel-kun into the mess." I swallowed hard, "And Juvia was very ungrateful for all that Gajeel-kun did. Thank you for taking care of Juvia."

Gajeel blew out a long breath, "Hell Juvia, don't thank me. You know I've always got you. No matter what."

"Juvia knows. That doesn't mean Juvia should take it for granted. Juvia did a little bit so Juvia just wants Gajeel-kun to know… You're one of the few people Juvia truly loves."

Gajeel's flinch was small. A tiny motion I might have missed if I hadn't been leaning against him. He didn't always handle emotional stuff that well. I sure hoped he didn't tense up like that when Levy told him she loved him. Rushing on I added, "Juvia trusts and respects Gajeel-kun too. Juvia knows she made Gajeel-kun angry and Juvia promises that what happened this weekend won't happen again. Juvia will take better care of herself."

"Will you? What exactly do you think I'm mad about?"

My innate sense of self-preservation kicked in, warning bells ringing at the accusation so clear in Gajeel-kun's voice. Time to take the plunge. "Juvia and Gray-sama." Because that was the crux of it. It wasn't Vidaldus. Or the drugged drink. Or taking midnight rides back into our old haunting grounds. Or beating up a couple idiots to make a point. Or me getting a concussion and acting crazy. It was Gray. All about Gray. Because none of that other shit would have happened if not for the way I acted around Gray-sama.

"Juvia has been an idiot and made some mistakes this year."

Gajeel-kun snorted, "That's an understatement."

"Juvia knows that! It will be different from now on. Juvia and Gray-sama have a deal."

"I don't give a shit. All I care about is you." He got up and in the darkness I sensed, more than saw, him pacing. "Are you sure you want to do this now? Because I'm going to say some shit that I promise you will not like."

Great. What could he possibly have to say after already shredding my heart? Still, I knew we had to have this out. "Yes, Juvia wants to do this."

"I. Don't. Like. Him."

Well, tell me something new. "Juvia knows." I hesitated then added, "Gajeel-kun doesn't know the real Gray-sama."

"And you do?" He shot back. I barely held in a groan. He'd forgiven me, I knew he had, but I had to go and stir the pot again. Sunshine only after rain, I told myself. This rift between us would only heal after we'd settled everything.

"No, Juvia doesn't but Juvia really wants to. Juvia knows what Gajeel-kun must be thinking so Juvia wants Gajeel-kun to know that Gray-sama isn't a player. Not really." It sounded lame, even to my ears.

"Tell that to all the girls he's fucked. This deal you've got with him makes you next on his list. You think I care about that? Go ahead and screw his brains out if you want to. I ain't the moral police. I just hate the way you are around him. Like a goddamn kicked puppy."

I recoiled at that. I knew I'd been foolish but that comparison was out of order. My blood heated and suddenly reconciling with Gajeel-kun wasn't such a priority. I sucked in a deep breath and fought the urge to snap back at him. "Juvia does not act like that."

"You shouldn't, that doesn't mean you don't." There was a raspy noise and I flinched away from the afternoon sunlight that crept through the curtain Gajeel tugged open. "Sorry. I feel like a goddamn fool having this conversation in the dark with you."

Gajeel-kun tugged on my elbow, drawing me off the bed and into the chair at his desk. With my back to the window the pain wasn't quite so bad. Still I had to blink a few times before Gajeel-kun came into focus. One look at his face and at once the sunlight didn't seem like such a big deal. "Who hit Gajeel-kun?" I demanded.

"What? I don't know who they were, Juvia. They were weaklings."

"Not last night! Just now." I jumped out of the chair and caught his face in my hands. "This one is new." I ran my fingers over the emerging bruise. It definitely hadn't been there before. Sometime in the last hour someone had introduced their fist into Gajeel's face. I seriously doubted he'd dropped by the dojo for an impromptu sparring session which left only one other obvious conclusion. "Who did it?"

"What the hell Juvia?" Gajeel-kun grabbed my wrists and pushed my hands down. "It's nothing compared to last night. Or at least a dozen other nights I can think of."

"It matters to Juvia."

"Why?"

My hands curled into fists, "Because Gajeel-kun's fights are Juvia's too."

One eyebrow arched, "And if I told you who it was?"

Maybe it was the recent backslide into our old lifestyle but I had no problem drawing on the strength of Ame onna now. "Juvia would make sure they never did it again."

Gajeel-kun blinked at me then burst out laughing.

"Juvia would!" I insisted, infuriated by his reaction.

He just kept right on laughing. I couldn't see what was so damn hilarious. I glared at him until he finally stopped although the stupid grin on his face didn't fade. "There she is," he said.

"Who?"

"_My _Juvia. So brave and strong. I haven't seen her in awhile. You think she could stick around for a bit?"

I flushed at Gajeel-kun's offhanded compliment and didn't resist him when he guided me back into the chair. "Gajeel-kun saw that last night."

He shook his head and crouched down before me. It was weird since I was so use to always looking up at him. I didn't have a chance to over think it because the grin slipped off Gajeel-kun's face. "Can I be real with you for a minute Juvia? I feel like we're going to be arguing in circles unless I say this."

I swallowed hard. I knew that serious look. Gajeel-kun was going to bring up _that. _My immediate reaction was to shut him up. No good could come of bringing up ancient history. If Gray-sama throwing Bora's name around in a off-handed way was bad enough then talking about it with Gajeel-kun who actually knew all the gritty details would be nothing short of hell. I wanted to laugh it off, to tell him not to be so serious but the sudden lump in my throat meant all I could do was nod.

"I can teach anyone to throw a decent punch," his thumb skimmed over my bruised knuckles, "Although you've become pretty damn good at it. What I can't teach is self-respect. That comes from knowing your own value. Which after everything you've overcome I thought you knew. But damn it all Juvia, watching you with Gray makes me want to put a bullet through my brain."

Ouch. It wasn't what I'd been dreading he'd say, still it was pretty bad. I was in half a mind to deny it but a part of me knew it was true. I could recall a least half a dozen times I'd done truly outlandish things in my pursuit of Gray-sama. "Juvia is changing."

Gajeel-kun scrutinised my face. "I believe you."

My breath of relief came too early when he continued, "What I doubt is Gray doing the same. Ever."

I bit my lip, "Things will be different. Juvia knows it." I at least hoped they would be. If things didn't change I had no idea where Gray-sama and I could go from here.

"I don't understand why you want to get tangled up with a guy with so much... What do you girls call it?"

I knew the word alright, "Baggage."

Gajeel-kun snapped his fingers, "That's it. Juvia, you know better than anyone that some shit needs to be dealt with before you can move on with life."

He hesitated and I knew what was coming next. _Don't say it, please don't say it…_

"I never worried about you. I knew you were strong the moment we met. What happened with Bora… You didn't let it crush you. I watched you deal with it. Your way. Long before you became one of the Element Four I thought, 'This girl won't take shit from anybody ever again'. And that had nothing to do with the moves you were learning." Gajeel scrubbed one hand over his eyes and rubbed at his temple. My own eyes were burning and not because of the light. I breathed slow and deep, determined not to cry again today.

"I didn't say anything when you were screwing around with Totomaru. It's not like you had that many options with half the gang terrified of you and the other half wanting to beat the crap out of you and take your spot. But after this year, with Gray, I'm starting to think you choose these kind of men on purpose."

There was another hesitation where I was obviously expected to say something but what could I say? It was completely bizarre for Gajeel-kun to put Totomaru and Gray-sama in the same category. My feelings for them couldn't be any more different. More than that, they as people were virtual opposites. Plus, I hadn't precisely chosen them. Meeting Gray-sama had been an accident of fate and I'd resisted Totomaru like my life depended on it before he finally wore me down.

"I mean there's so many decent guys at our school. Like Jellal-"

"Jellal-san loves Erza-san," I interjected, more out of habit than anything else. Was Gajeel-kun really suggesting I should have gone after Jellal?

"Everybody knows that. I said _like _Jellal. Hell Juvia, half our classmates at school are missing a parent or two. Shit happens. People deal with it. I don't see anyone else but Gray determined to sleep with every girl in the district."

"That's not necessarily related to Gray-sama's parents."

Gajeel-kun gave me his best 'don't bullshit me' look. He made me feel like a kid caught with my hand in the cookie jar. "I really don't care what it is Juvia. He's not over it and he's not getting over it anytime soon. Not for you. Not for anyone. So tell me one more time, why on Earthland do you want to be involved with that guy?"

"Because Juvia loves him." That was my truth. My reality. "Gajeel-kun can understand that. Juvia can't help how Juvia feels."

"Maybe, maybe not," Gajeel said with a shrug. "You've got this habit of forming unhealthy relationships."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, "Gajeel-kun makes Juvia sound like an idiot."

"Not an idiot. I don't know. Levy and I were talking about this. Guys like Bora-"

"You told Levy about _that_?"My heart skipped a beat but Gajeel's response to my interruption was to look affronted.

"Are you being deliberately obtuse? I wouldn't tell anybody that."

Obtuse. Gajeel-kun had most definitely been spending a lot of time with Levy. I bet half of Phantom Lord would need a dictionary to understand what he was asking. Not Totomaru though. He'd always been more intelligent than any street kid had the right to be. Then again he was nearly five years older than me so maybe it only seemed that way. The age gap didn't explain how he saw through every defence I'd thrown up. I hadn't told him and we never talked about it directly but I'd always sensed that somehow he knew exactly what had gone down between Bora and me. Totomaru understood me. Intuitively. No awkward confessions needed. Our relationship hadn't been unhealthy per se. Destined to fail, sure. That didn't mean we'd been bad for each other though. I somehow doubted Gajeel-kun would make that distinction.

Shit. My mind had wandered. I tuned back into Gajeel who was going about women who date guys that hit them and some newspaper article Levy read about the psychology behind it. It took me a moment to realise he thought I had some of inferiority complex that made me want to be with bad guys. He couldn't be serious. "Is this a joke?"

A look of pure frustration flooded his face. "You're the one not taking this seriously. What am I supposed to think Juvia? First you date Totomaru. Half the time I thought you two would beat the living daylight out of each other. The other half, gods I don't even want to think about you got up to with that closet freak."

My mouth gaped open. The whole premise of a closet freak was that they looked innocent on the surface. Totomaru certainly did not fit that bill. Except for the freak bit of course.

"Then we move here and you 'fall in love' with a jerk who has more issues than either of us can shake a stick at. You know I don't interfere with your life. I never have. Now I'm thinking the stuff we did in Phantom Lord wasn't enough. I should have done more for you. Sometimes I wonder if all we've done all these years is stick a band-aid over the problem." There was an undercurrent to Gajeel-kun's tone, his body language. Something in all the years we'd been together that I had never picked up on.

Guilt.

I didn't have time to figure that out. Our eyes met and there was no way for me to look away. "Juvia, be honest, what happened with Bora, are you over it?"


End file.
